File Under: When you thought Lori couldn't be any crueler...

[Hane]

Can someone post a link to her Facebook page? Thx!

[Conuly]

I don't think it's really appropriate for me to do anything except give suggestions when it's someone else's child.

That IS a suggestion. Surprisingly, many people don't know that help is available for this sort of thing or that "pickiness" could be a medical issue.

[Koala]

. But I've got in so ingrained in my head that he's "my baby

I'm the same way. They grow up so fast! :)

[synchroswimr]

Just as a tangent: what would you do with a child that literally only ate five or six foods? My little godson will only eat chicken nuggets, the top bits off boiled broccoli, french fries, and plain cheese pizza. He'll eat junk food too - cake, cookies, candy, chips, cheesies, koolaid, freezies. He won't drink milk, no cheese, no butter, no yogurt or similar-looking food, no plain meat, no burgers, no rice, no beans, no boiled/mashed spuds, no peanut butter, no nuts, and no veg or fruit.

He screams bloody murder if presented with food that isn't on his list. What do you do with a child like that to try and get them to eat?

My SIL's kids will only eat a few things, too. They're 9, 7 and 3.5. They just spent a week visiting and ate fruits and veggies when we were home (though I learned that the 7yo won't eat cut up carrots, only long ones, and heaven forbid they be in the same bowl as the cucumber slices), but when we went out, it was milk to drink, chicken strips for the boys and Mac and cheese for the girl. My SIL gets very defensive if you say anything, but I'm appreciating the advice! It is very frustrating when they come to visit. The parents won't even make the kids try something. Grrr... /rant

[snarkbillie]

Just as a tangent: what would you do with a child that literally only ate five or six foods? My little godson will only eat chicken nuggets, the top bits off boiled broccoli, french fries, and plain cheese pizza. He'll eat junk food too - cake, cookies, candy, chips, cheesies, koolaid, freezies. He won't drink milk, no cheese, no butter, no yogurt or similar-looking food, no plain meat, no burgers, no rice, no beans, no boiled/mashed spuds, no peanut butter, no nuts, and no veg or fruit.

He screams bloody murder if presented with food that isn't on his list. What do you do with a child like that to try and get them to eat?

My kids are way more adventurous than I am so I haven't had a problem, but my cousin's son stayed with us for a few weeks and he would only eat mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. I don't cook either. So I made a chart and had him try what we were eating. He could make a "yuck" face, a "meh" face, or a "yum" face on the chart. At the end of the 2 weeks we had more yuck faces than anything else, but a few things when from "yuck" to "meh" and a few things were "yum". So now he'll eat chicken nuggets, kielbasa, mac and cheese, cauliflower mashed, toad in a hole, and scrambled eggs. It's progress I guess.

[Koala]

Just as a tangent: what would you do with a child that literally only ate five or six foods? My little godson will only eat chicken nuggets, the top bits off boiled broccoli, french fries, and plain cheese pizza. He'll eat junk food too - cake, cookies, candy, chips, cheesies, koolaid, freezies. He won't drink milk, no cheese, no butter, no yogurt or similar-looking food, no plain meat, no burgers, no rice, no beans, no boiled/mashed spuds, no peanut butter, no nuts, and no veg or fruit.

He screams bloody murder if presented with food that isn't on his list. What do you do with a child like that to try and get them to eat?

Neither of my children have faced that situation, but I agree with the posters who suggested a trip to the doctor would be a good starting place. I would want to rule out any medical issues before I did anything. If there were no medical problems I would start to look for various (gentle) techniques to introducing new foods. I don't know how old he is, but maybe things like taking him to the produce section or farmer's market and letting him select some things he'd like to try. I'd also try things like the grazing tray I suggested above, and making "fun food" like fruit and veggie kabobs and cheese cut into little shapes. Another idea might be to cut out pictures of lots of healthy food choices and let him help build a menu. There are probably a lot of good ideas out there, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

That said, I really didn't keep that kind of food in the house a lot when mine were tiny. From the get go we offered lots of healthy options and kept those things in the house. I never kept fries or chicken nuggets in the house, so they never really thought to ask for it. To a degree I think they build what they like from what they are offered. If mom buys groceries, then mom gets to decide what comes into the house. If he doesn't have any medical issues I would get the "junk" food out of the house or find a way to make it healthier. Maybe make the nuggets with fresh chicken and bake instead of fry. If he eats broc. I would keep that in the house for sure.

[Kitchen Princess]

Just feed the kid what he likes but don't have a whole lot of the other stuff around (cake and candy, etc.). When you make a big deal out of what kids eat, it becomes a BIG DEAL. They won't starve on a mac-n-cheese diet (that's pretty much my 27yo's diet to this day). A daily multivitamin is a good idea.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

... If there were no medical problems I would start to look for various (gentle) techniques to introducing new foods. I don't know how old he is, but maybe things like taking him to the produce section or farmer's market and letting him select some things he'd like to try. I'd also try things like the grazing tray I suggested above, and making "fun food" like fruit and veggie kabobs and cheese cut into little shapes. Another idea might be to cut out pictures of lots of healthy food choices and let him help build a menu. There are probably a lot of good ideas out there, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

That said, I really didn't keep that kind of food in the house a lot when mine were tiny. From the get go we offered lots of healthy options and kept those things in the house. I never kept fries or chicken nuggets in the house, so they never really thought to ask for it. To a degree I think they build what they like from what they are offered. If mom buys groceries, then mom gets to decide what comes into the house. If he doesn't have any medical issues I would get the "junk" food out of the house or find a way to make it healthier. Maybe make the nuggets with fresh chicken and bake instead of fry. If he eats broc. I would keep that in the house for sure.

This. If there are no medical issues, I think this is a place where you just have to use tough love. Sooner or later he'll get hungry enough that he will try something that isn't one of his normal foods, especially if he has helped prepare and select them. He may scream bloody murder for a while but it is SO important to teach young kids good eating habits.

[desertvixen]

That said, I really didn't keep that kind of food in the house a lot when mine were tiny. From the get go we offered lots of healthy options and kept those things in the house. I never kept fries or chicken nuggets in the house, so they never really thought to ask for it. To a degree I think they build what they like from what they are offered. If mom buys groceries, then mom gets to decide what comes into the house. If he doesn't have any medical issues I would get the "junk" food out of the house or find a way to make it healthier. Maybe make the nuggets with fresh chicken and bake instead of fry. If he eats broc. I would keep that in the house for sure.

This is sort of my approach. I don't really keep anything in the house that I don't want her to have (with an exception or two - some things she can have on the weekend, but not during the school/work week) and my daughter makes choices from what is available - fruit, veggies, yogurt, cheese sticks (she is a cheese fiend, which is funny because I cannot stand cheese at all).

[Koala]

This is sort of my approach. I don't really keep anything in the house that I don't want her to have (with an exception or two - some things she can have on the weekend, but not during the school/work week) and my daughter makes choices from what is available - fruit, veggies, yogurt, cheese sticks (she is a cheese fiend, which is funny because I cannot stand cheese at all).

My son is like that. He LOVES cheese of all kinds and the sharper the better. I don't like it at all. I think he gets it from his dad. :lol:

[desertvixen]

My son is like that. He LOVES cheese of all kinds and the sharper the better. I don't like it at all. I think he gets it from his dad.

Pretty much. I don't like the texture and feel of cheese, and it generally seems to upset my stomach.

Everyone else in the family loves it, though.

[FaeT]

I think it was in February or March, the Duggars spoke at a church in Wisconsin and Jim Bob said that his father wasn't a good spiritual leader. I think someone from FJ attended that event.

Thanks. I'll see if I can find that on youtube. I'll post a link if I do.

As far as kids going hungry - I agree with the premise of having a variety of foods at dinner and the kids eat what they want to eat. Not a big deal. I don't really make a big deal of son not finishing his plate bc he's still nursing and a lot of times he'll actually put his plate away so he can nurse. I do try to encourage my daughter to finish her plate bc she has a tendency to be "hungry" right at bed time. Of course if I ever stay at my parents house, she knows my dad will go downstairs to make her waffles. She's so damn spoiled there. But she knows at home that doesn't fly. A snack is fine, but I'm not making toast or muffins or waffles as we're getting ready for bed. (But she knows I'll cut up a tomato. *sigh*)

[thoughtful]

[

She had her poor Dad massaging her nasty feet the very next day. Made me sick. There's no telling how old he is, and she's got him massaging her feet.

Lori's father, according to the post praising insulting her mother, is 81.

And she has no clue how much she has missed by seeing her children and grandchildren as sin-bags to be trained and controlled, rather than interesting individuals to be lovingly raised.

[awmom]

Can I make a book recommendation to anyone who is concerned about picky eating in kids? My Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzales is a truly fantastic book. It really doesn't contain strategies to get children to eat more or different foods but just explains the biology and science behind pickiness in kids and emphasizes managing your own anxiety about what they do or don't eat rather than trying behavioral strategies/tricks/bribes/"hiding" vegetables etc. Like everyone has been saying, the message is basically: offer a variety of healthy stuff, cut the junk food and let kids follow their instinctual ability to decide when they're hungry and when they're full. As a general rule, kids need a lot less food than we think they do and they would really benefit from adults relaxing about it. He is, of course, very much against force feeding of any kind but also against "gentler" methods like making kids take a certain number of bites, withholding dessert or other foods unless they finish a certain thing etc. I know it sounds simple but it really mellowed me out about my 14 month old's eating habits so that now I purposely say to myself "he was really hungry at lunchtime so he ate a lot" rather than saying "he ate a GOOD lunch today" or "he wasn't very hungry at dinner" instead of "he wouldn't eat for me". Incidentally, I only know one adult who absolutely refuses to eat vegetables of any kind and when she was a child she was forced to sit at the table until she finished her vegetables, sometimes until she fell asleep. I think it's safe to say that strategy backfired.

[awmom]

NjoyingNsanity wrote:

Just a question, and this is because I'm truly worried about her little grandbaby, but has anyone ever considered contacting her local police department or CPS and giving them a link to her blog. She's practically admitting to and bragging about abusing a baby this should be reported to the proper authorities.

I think some FJers are probably considering that. I don't think Lori has ever said exactly where she lives. She seems to live somewhere in the L.A. are. i sometimes wonder if she lives in the Porter Ranch area.

If anyone has an idea of the area that she lives in, I think it is worth a call to local CPS. Unfortunately, there is probably nothing on her blog that is enough to spark an investigation. Unfortunately it is legal to hit your children and to make them eat things they don't want to eat unless you can show that the hitting is leaving lasting welts and bruises and/or the force feeding is causing lasting physical harm. HOWEVER, it is still worth a call because it can be filed as informational report and help to establish a pattern if someone is able to catch and report evidence of (more obvious) abuse. Someone called CPS on my SIL when she blogged about leaving her just turned two year old alone in the bathtub and they did come out and investigate based on the blog so it is worth a shot.

[TXDuck]

Random question inspired by awmom's post; is dessert every night really that common? We don't have dessert around here unless it's a special occasion or the kids are with their grandparents. (Then, apparently, anything goes.) Part of it is I'm not a big dessert fan and part of it is so Picky Eater can't fill up on sweets, I won't lie. But even when I was growing up, dessert was a once in a while treat. Is dessert really that common?

[Koala]

Can I make a book recommendation to anyone who is concerned about picky eating in kids? My Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzales is a truly fantastic book. It really doesn't contain strategies to get children to eat more or different foods but just explains the biology and science behind pickiness in kids and emphasizes managing your own anxiety about what they do or don't eat rather than trying behavioral strategies/tricks/bribes/"hiding" vegetables etc. Like everyone has been saying, the message is basically: offer a variety of healthy stuff, cut the junk food and let kids follow their instinctual ability to decide when they're hungry and when they're full. As a general rule, kids need a lot less food than we think they do and they would really benefit from adults relaxing about it. He is, of course, very much against force feeding of any kind but also against "gentler" methods like making kids take a certain number of bites, withholding dessert or other foods unless they finish a certain thing etc. I know it sounds simple but it really mellowed me out about my 14 month old's eating habits so that now I purposely say to myself "he was really hungry at lunchtime so he ate a lot" rather than saying "he ate a GOOD lunch today" or "he wasn't very hungry at dinner" instead of "he wouldn't eat for me". Incidentally, I only know one adult who absolutely refuses to eat vegetables of any kind and when she was a child she was forced to sit at the table until she finished her vegetables, sometimes until she fell asleep. I think it's safe to say that strategy backfired.

I don't know of the book, but I agree with what you are saying. I think adults as a general rule have a very difficult time gauging how much food a child actually needs, so they end up putting way too much on their plates and then getting frustrated when the poor kid can't eat it all. I think it's much easier to start small and let them help themselves to more as they want it. I also agree that making them take a certain number of bites or clear their plate is a bad idea. A child is able to know when they are comfortable and shouldn't be forced to eat past that point. Food can always be wrapped up and refrigerated if you feel they might get hungry later.

We don't do the withholding dessert thing either. If we're having dessert, then everyone is having dessert. I refuse to make an issue out of food. The flip side of that is that I don't keep cookies or sweets in the house as a general rule. Maybe once every 2 weeks we will pick a sweet to bring home or I will let the kids pick a candy at check out. I do keep ice lollies as my daughter calls them (popsicles) in the fridge during the hotter months and hand them out when we go outdoors.

[awmom]

Random question inspired by awmom's post; is dessert every night really that common? We don't have dessert around here unless it's a special occasion or the kids are with their grandparents. (Then, apparently, anything goes.) Part of it is I'm not a big dessert fan and part of it is so Picky Eater can't fill up on sweets, I won't lie. But even when I was growing up, dessert was a once in a while treat. Is dessert really that common?

I don't know if dessert is super common (we don't have it, but my son is only 14 months so I'm sure our mealtimes will evolve) but I think what IS common is parents saying "if you want to have cookies/pudding/jello after dinner you have to take two more bites of green beans." or even worse "if you take two more bites of green beans you can have an oreo". I think the point of the book isn't "give your kids dessert even if they don't eat dinner" but more like "if you're going to have dessert (which you don't need to do), just have it and don't turn dinner into an exercise of eating the gross stuff so you can get the good stuff" since that just makes kids pickier and makes them think of dinner as just a barrier to dessert rather than a yummy meal in its own right. Sorry, doesn't really answer your question but just wanted to clarify.

[Witsec7]

Random question inspired by awmom's post; is dessert every night really that common? We don't have dessert around here unless it's a special occasion or the kids are with their grandparents. (Then, apparently, anything goes.) Part of it is I'm not a big dessert fan and part of it is so Picky Eater can't fill up on sweets, I won't lie. But even when I was growing up, dessert was a once in a while treat. Is dessert really that common?

At our house we had desert, usually not at the table, but after dinner was cleaned up. I did the same with the DD when she was growing up. It could be fruit and cheese, a fruit compote with some yogurt, even an ice pop or if I baked something from the oven.

[desertvixen]

As a general rule, kids need a lot less food than we think they do and they would really benefit from adults relaxing about it. He is, of course, very much against force feeding of any kind but also against "gentler" methods like making kids take a certain number of bites, withholding dessert or other foods unless they finish a certain thing etc.

This, this, this! It drives me nuts when people who have obviously forgotten how much a little kid needs to eat.

TXDuck, we don't often have "dessert" (ie, cake/pie type stuff) but we usually have something sweet, like fruit or yogurt.

[Samantha]

Random question inspired by awmom's post; is dessert every night really that common? We don't have dessert around here unless it's a special occasion or the kids are with their grandparents. (Then, apparently, anything goes.) Part of it is I'm not a big dessert fan and part of it is so Picky Eater can't fill up on sweets, I won't lie. But even when I was growing up, dessert was a once in a while treat. Is dessert really that common?

What kind of dessert are we talking? As a child it was common for my family to have a little something sweet in the evening. But we did not have any kind of pies/cakes or things of that nature often.

[ADoyle90815]

At our house we had desert, usually not at the table, but after dinner was cleaned up. I did the same with the DD when she was growing up. It could be fruit and cheese, a fruit compote with some yogurt, even an ice pop or if I baked something from the oven.

That's the same with my family, where fruit and cheese are always available, but dessert itself was something for special occasions and after the dinner dishes were cleaned up. My 4 year old niece loves cheese, and the sharper, the better.

[TXDuck]

Ok, fruit and/or cheese is our typical "bedtime" snack. So my kids aren't truly missing out. I don't know why I find this validating but I do. I do make cakes, etc. for birthdays, holidays, and occasionally just because, I promise!

[FaeT]

We rarely had dessert in my house growing up but if I can afford it, I do try to have a dessert every night. Mainly bc I have a huge sweet tooth and need something sweet and sugary everyday. So it's completely my issue. And I do try to eat it after the kids have gone to sleep but it depends on what it is. (A pound cake for instance can be shared with everyone. A piece of chocolate cake bought at the store gets hidden so I don't have to share :D )

[Hisey]

Someone was asking where Lori lives. . .

She lives in San Diego. Her husband is a consultant to orthodontists, and here is his contact information:

http://www.kenalexander.com/contact.html

Ken's address is listed as Carlsbad, which is a city in or outside of San Diego. I don't know if that's his home or office address though.

Ryan (the forcefeeder) works for his father, so he must live in that area also.