Lori Alexander 34: The Woo Is Strong with this One

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Mr Dress and I are getting the tree tonight, 8 ft for our 10 ft ceiling old house.  We'll put it up over the weekend. It takes 2 days as we have waaaaay too many ornaments and use them all.  Actually Mr Dress will do the tree as he is the Official Tree Decorator (TM) while I decorate the house and offer tree suggestions -- as in why not distribute the ornaments on the tree (he has a tendency to color block the tree).

We'll listen to Christmas music, drink cocoa, and indulge in a small box of chocolate covered cherries like every year. We'll disagree about tinsel strands -- I vote yes, he votes no and I always give in.

When it's all finished, we'll turn on the tree lights, turn off the rest of the lights and ooo and ahhh over how pretty and say it's the best tree ever! -- like we do every year.

And yes we know perfectly well about pagan festivals and pagan trees, and not born in Dec and all that.  But we are celebrating Christ's birth, so why not be festive about it.

[Koala]

Our trees went up the week before Thanksgiving.  My house kind of looks like the North Pole right now, because my husband and I both love Christmas.

My living room tree is decorated vintage-  8ft. (colored, huge bulbs/vintage ornaments/tinsel).  My dining room tree is 8ft. (blue lights/blue and silver ornaments).  My kitchen tree is 4ft. (colored lights/ ornaments my kids made by hand when they were little).  

Every doorway and window is outlined in lighted garland and topped with a lighted wreath.  I have 2 HUGE santa pictures that are hung each year, and the counters/ coffee tables have little Christmas decorations.  

This is my favorite time of year, and I really don't care how long it takes us to decorate...it's worth every minute.

Lori:

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I haven't missed my tree at all. I'm not sure I'll ever put it up again. My grandbabies' parents put up a tree. It's so much extra work. 

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I've never gotten into the Christmas hullabaloo. It's never been a stressful time for me. I do what I feel comfortable doing and that's it. My children have never gotten a lot of presents. I don't bake a ton. I've never shopped much

It sounds like a large part of her issue w/ Christmas, is it's interference with her quest to avoid work.  No shopping, no baking, no tree.  Sounds magical...

[TeddyBonkers]

I LOVE decorating for Christmas! I ask the little Bonkers what kind of cookies they want to eat while we decorate and I make them. Mr. Bonkers does the heavy lifting and gets the decorations and tree out of the garage or attic. I tell everyone the stories of the ornaments- "oh this one came from your great aunt", "Nana got me this one from Ireland". I've got a dedicated tree specifically for my Gone with the wind ornaments that my mom gets me every year. The kids think it's awesome that I made their stocking when they were babies. Our tree isn't color coordinated,  but it's full of history. 

[Hane]

I haven’t bothered decorating for Christmas the past few years, as we celebrate at my sisters’ houses, which are close by. (I’m an empty nester and rarely have people over, now that my daughter and her family moved across the state.) But cookies and fancy baking for Christmas? I’m your gal! And I used to love sewing American Girl clothes for gifts when my daughter and niece were little.

[Frog99]

I worked at a hallmark store in undergrad and I think that sucked the Christmas decorating spirit right out of me. I enjoy the festivities and such but happily allow DH and the kids to decorate the tree. He’s not a decorator, generally speaking, but he enjoys doing it with the kids. I actually enjoy watching them do it together. I usually bake cookies while they decorate and then we turn out the room lights and watch a movie as a family. It makes for a quiet and cozy evening. We are behind this year- hopefully we will get our tree on Sunday. 

[dairyfreelife]

20 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

Nice to see I have so many cousins and cousins by marriage here!  I'm descended from one of Daniel's brothers (Samuel, I think) on my mom's side of the family and may have some connection to the Crocketts on my dad's side.  (I think that John Sevier's wife and David Crockettt's wife were sisters or at least half-sisters.) I do know that the Seviers and Crocketts were neighbors in the Watauga settlement in what is now northeastern Tennessee.

ETA: Turns out that I have Quaker ancestry on both sides of the family.  No wonder I lean towards pacifism!

Quaker ancestry here too, but only on one side that I am aware. Hardly anyone on that side of my family has strayed far from the mid-Atlantic/southeast it seems. Guess we like it here. 

[AuntKrazy]

Mr. Krazy and I are not decorating at home this year because we are going on a cruise. (Do umbrella drinks count as Chrismas decor???)

 Of course, I bought some window clings and battery operated lights for our cabin!  But I can also understand the choice not to decorate.  I've had Christmases were it would have only amplified feelings of loneliness and grief/loss.

With Lori saying it's "too much work" to decorate - I have to wonder if she is clinically depressed and "not working" is the only acceptable expression of it.  To me, not decorating because it's too much work signals depression.  And most mental health professionals I know would say that depression begins with the decision to not feel (particularly not feel pain). . . 

 

 

[Loveday]

6 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

Mr. Krazy and I are not decorating at home this year because we are going on a cruise. (Do umbrella drinks count as Chrismas decor???)

Absolutely. Especially if they're red and green. 

[kpmom]

32 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

With Lori saying it's "too much work" to decorate - I have to wonder if she is clinically depressed and "not working" is the only acceptable expression of it.  To me, not decorating because it's too much work signals depression.  And most mental health professionals I know would say that depression begins with the decision to not feel (particularly not feel pain). . . 

 

 

When I read her quote that it's too much work to decorate, depression was the very first thing I thought of.

Does anyone know if they go to their children's homes for Christmas?  I'm not sure if she's ever said.

She just sounds so cold with her "I don't do much for Christmas, never have, I just do what I want, blah, blah, blah."  You don't have to go overboard to have a joyous Christmas.

What a pleasure it must have been growing up with her as a mother.

[Koala]

54 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

Mr. Krazy and I are not decorating at home this year because we are going on a cruise. (Do umbrella drinks count as Chrismas decor???)

 Of course, I bought some window clings and battery operated lights for our cabin! 

That sounds like so much fun!  

Makes me think of Christmas with the Kranks.  Have you seen that movie?

We are spending next Thanksgiving at the beach.  We're going to spend a week in Sep. for our usual vacation, and then going back in Nov. for another 5 days.  So excited!

[Sarah92]

My mom always bakes cream cheese cookies and cuts them into different shapes. When we were kids decorating them was a huge ordeal with different color homemade icing and sprinkles. Now it's much more tame. We also make peanut butter kiss cookies. 

I do worry about her mental health. Because as someone mentioned above the pushing feelings aside often influences the development of depression and anxiety. I've suspected that she had some disorder eating and it was only strengthened by her daughter talking about almost being anorexic. Anorexia doesn't tend to just pop out of no where and is often connected to OCD/ anxiety based behaviors if I remember correctly. If I recall she had a brain tumor correct? That could also impact the processing of emotions. 

[freealljs]

So, now I want to be a fly on the wall in LoriKen's house. What the heck happened? It's as though her most recent post on newlyweds is another apology to Ken.  

 

[smittykins]

37 minutes ago, Koala said:

Makes me think of Christmas with the Kranks.  Have you seen that movie?

That's the first thing I thought of, too! I haven't seen the movie, but I have the book it's based on, Skipping Christmas by John Grisham.

[TeddyBonkers]

1 hour ago, AuntKrazy said:

Mr. Krazy and I are not decorating at home this year because we are going on a cruise. (Do umbrella drinks count as Chrismas decor???)

 Of course, I bought some window clings and battery operated lights for our cabin!  But I can also understand the choice not to decorate.  I've had Christmases were it would have only amplified feelings of loneliness and grief/loss.

 

 

 

This reminds me of when we went to Disney in December. A few of the resort rooms had mini Christmas trees in the windows or strings of Christmas lights- it was so nifty!

[SuperNova]

Mr Nova and I didn't decorate last year because our only child didn't come home for Christmas. It was nice to take a year off but I went all out this year because we moved into a lovely 70 year old home over the summer and it's the first house that we've ever had with a fireplace. We actually have a mantle for stockings!

It's alot of work for me to decorate alone but Mr Nova knows better than to ask if I want help. I'm a perfectionist and can't stand it when something looks out of place. He takes care of the outside decor and I do the inside. Somehow I can't picture Ken on a ladder hanging lights. 

[Pink Muffin]

I really miss having a tree, here is the reason why I don´t have it

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All my christmas decorations are up, I had the grandchildren here at saturday and they put everything up. They really like to do it and I love to have them here 
After they were done we had cookies and soda. I love Christmas time 

[KnittingOwl]

We aren’t putting up a tree this year. I haven’t done it yet, and DD’s birthday party is Saturday, so sunday is the earliest we could do it. DD and DH leave for the IL’s on the 17th. I’m traveling down to work HQ from 18-20 before joining them. Then we go to my parents for the week after. It doesn’t seem worth it for a week. I do have smaller decorations and stockings up. This year just got away from me. I am kind of sad about not having ours up. 

[Carol]

IMO Lori's hyper-christianity is the frame that holds her life together.  She clearly has issues with depression and anxiety but, rather than seeking counseling, she follows a strict interpretation of the Bible.  Looking at the world in anything other than black and white threatens to crack/break her rigid frame.  Introspection, emotions, feelings, empathy aren't generally part of someone who have to live as she does.   

I think if she ever sought counseling(I'll bet she has in the past) it would be difficult for her to stick with it.  It's hard, hard work...scary, humbling, exhausting and painful.  Much easier to just follow the Bible.  

Kudos to her if she does seek and stay in counseling.  Her life would be so much better.  No one is harder on her than her.  How miserable she is.

[legalbeagle]

Uh oh. I'm not putting up a tree this year because I also think it's too much work. And I am hosting my ILs and my parents to boot. I humbly accept the FJ wrath for my slothfulness. 

[BlackSheep]

Been away from FJ recently. Came back to check up on the Mistress of Crazy. 

Yep, still crazy.

[feministxtian]

no Christmas decorating here. Haven't done it in years. I used to go all out including a Nativity scene painted on the front windows...but...I'm burned out on it. I don't care anymore about a "holiday" that is all about conspicuous consumption and blowing money you don't have. We're having friends over for Christmas dinner...but good eats can be done w/o all the damn decorating and shit. 

Call me Scrooge if you want but I hate the whole hype. 

[Hisey]

I think Xmas must create a lot of anxiety in Miss 4-chips-a-day. Everyone is baking, exchanging food gifts, etc. Salad is not a traditional Xmas food. There are holiday parties with tons of fattening food. I doubt anyone wants to hear her talk about the organic zuccinni she found at Thrift.

[HoneyBunny]

A Christmas tree is WORK.  Baking and decorating and buying gifts are WORK. Sure, Lori says that the Lord made us for WORK, but she means US...not her. 

What a lazy excuse for a wife, mother and human. Oh yeah, all sorts of Christmas cheer in the Alexander home. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

I'm not sure what's happening casa Seahorse this year regarding decorating. I have never been a big fan of Christmas as it was the holiday my parents fought over the most. Especially once they were divorced and dividing the holiday up could be unpleasant when the Paternal Unit had another LadyFriend to impress.

 

Last year Mr Wrangler was taken to hospital on the 17th December and died just after midnight 1st January. So we are still not sure what we are planning to do for the holiday season yet.

 

I'm hoping for a low-key break and fortunately the children are old enough to not want a full-blown all-singing all-dancing Christmas Extravaganza.

[PennySycamore]

{{{@Seahorse Wrangler}}},  Don't force yourself to do anything you really don't want to do.  That first Christmas after my daughter died, my celebration was kinda low-key.