Tickling the Ivories - Jinger and Jeremy Vuolo

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

So about Jinger's hair, imho it looks much much better when it's curly - like in the beginning of the episode it was really really pretty. I don't like it when she straightens it, but maybe it's my personal bias, my hair is fine and straight and impossible to curl and I really don't get it when people with beautiful natural curls destroy them on purpose!

[Scrabblemaster]

2 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

When I wash my hair I gotta clear my schedule. Black hair is no joke. It's very delicate and labour intensive. If I ever tried to wash my hair every day it would fall out of my head. The soonest I wash my hair is a week. I can go 12 days easily (if I'm not sweating and keep it moisturized and wrapped before bed)

Wow 12 days, that is impossible for me. I can go five days  but that' s all. Even then i won't step outside for the days four and five. I know hair will get used to the procedure, but i never managed to get over that point. 

[Carm_88]

I can barely go three days! And yes cowlicks! I have those demon curls over my ears and as soon as there is moisture in the air, out they pop.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

8 hours ago, wandering woman said:

All the Duggar women should chop their hair to shoulder length.  It is more flattering on everyone.  Jana and Joy would look especially pretty with shoulder length hair.  

Michelle seemed oddly detached from Jinger's wedding dress shopping. Yes . . . she is really uninterested in her kids, but you would think she might have had more enthusiasm for seeing her daughter try on wedding dresses.

 She doesn't seem to care much about anything these days.  She has lost weight, however.

 

I'm calling BS on this, I'm a grown ass woman and I will wear my hair how ever I want.  Suggesting someone should cut off some hair and repair damage to it is one thing (that being rude and judgey but I said too so I'm pointing a finger at myself here)  but saying ALL women should wear their hair X length is outrageous.  You sound like my mother who says all women shouldn't wear their hair past their ears in length. I HATED short hair as a child, and now wear it a little past my shoulders to just above my shoulders depending on my mood when I get it cut, she makes snide comments about how "I'm to old for long hair" or shit like that. You wear your hair your way and we'll wear ours our way. 

[RosyDaisy]

I have short very oily hair that has to be washed daily. My favorite shampoo/conditioner is Suave Rosemary Mint. I also use Suave hair gel and hair spray, a hair dryer, and a round brush to style.

[Jinder Roles]

@Scrabblemaster @Carm_88...yup, the curlier/more coarse your hair is the less frequently you have to wash it. Although, if any water touches my hair it's over. 

And when I wash I shampoo about 3 times, condition, deep condition w/ dryer for 15 minutes, sometimes a protein treatment and then detangle, roller set, air dry and flat iron. It takes me like 4-5 hours total (provided I don't skip a step). 

When a black girl says she's washing her hair, it means she's unavailable for the rest of the evening. 

[Carm_88]

@Scrabblemaster @Carm_88...yup, the curlier/more coarse your hair is the less frequently you have to wash it. Although, if any water touches my hair it's over. 
And when I wash I shampoo about 3 times, condition, deep condition w/ dryer for 15 minutes, sometimes a protein treatment and then detangle, roller set, air dry and flat iron. It takes me like 4-5 hours total (provided I don't skip a step). 
When a black girl says she's washing her hair, it means she's unavailable for the rest of the evening. 

My roommate showed me that process! Bless you! It's a long one.

[BlessaYourHeart]

3 hours ago, ScorpiousMalfoy said:

So about Jinger's hair, imho it looks much much better when it's curly - like in the beginning of the episode it was really really pretty. I don't like it when she straightens it, but maybe it's my personal bias, my hair is fine and straight and impossible to curl and I really don't get it when people with beautiful natural curls destroy them on purpose!

Trust me sometimes it's easier to just straighten hair rather than deal with the curls! 

Although I do love that I can wash my hair and let it air dry without having to worry about it as it just dries in my natural curls without needing touched 

[Iamtheway]

Wow, I'm suddenly feeling very greatful for my thin but wavy, easily managed hair. I wash it two times a week with just an organic shampoo and let it air dry. That's it when it comes to hair care. Some days I don't even brush it, just run my fingers through it and am out the door. It looks the best when it's fairly short but I don't keep it up just cut a lot when ever I go to the hairdresser. 

 

[lomo6]

OK, I'm not one to freak out about a little appearance snarking here and there, but the fact that we have been talking about how Jinger's hair looked bad in a screenshot for multiple pages of this thread is really bugging me. I get it, her hair looks a little fried/stringy and if she were my friend or an acquaintance I won't pretend like it would be above me to think that she should probably chop off a few inches. 

But good grief, she is an infantilized young woman who at the time of the infamous screenshot was still under the authority of her parents, who subscribe to a patriarchal strand of fundamentalist Christianity that demands that she keep her hair long and flowing. Maybe she would be "allowed" to cut off a few inches if she asked, but it's not exactly like she could go  get a bob she saw in the most recent issue of Vogue, paying for the cut with her own money from a part-time job. 

And you know what, even if she could - who gives a flying fruit? My hair is thick and curly, and I refuse to straighten it because I'm not a morning person. I understand that some people consider this style not super professional or put together. Guess what, I have other priorities. The fact that so many FJeres have such strong opinions on what this young woman should be doing with her hair makes me sad. I know not everyone here would identify as a feminist, but when we spend so much time cutting down other women over their appearances, it makes me realize how far we have to go.

Moving on - @MargaretElliott - I have been interested in transitioning away from frequent shampooing for a while (I currently do about every other day). The only concern I have is after working out. Do you exercise, and if so do you wet your hair afterwards to get some sweat out or follow some other procedure?

 

[xlurker]

13 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

About the dirty hair being better for hairdos, I don't think so. When I go to weedings or I need special hairdos or buns, I go to the hairdresser's and they first wash my hair, then dry it and finally do the hairdo. Never ever they have done the hairdo with dirty hair!

Generally speaking, as a hairdresser, we don't want dirty hair!  Updo's and the like, for the most part, are easier to do and will hold better on not freshly washed hair.  Meaning, washed the night before appointment.  Freshly washed hair, especially if it is fine straight hair, tends to be too "soft" to take and hold a good curl or style.  Hair that was washed within 24 hours holds better.  There are those folks that actually do have dirty hair after 12-24 hours.  Those folks freshly washed would be better.    I have known of some shops that would always wash hair before updo's, primarily so they could charge more.  Just my experience

[karen77]

7 minutes ago, lomo6 said:

OK, I'm not one to freak out about a little appearance snarking here and there, but the fact that we have been talking about how Jinger's hair looked bad in a screenshot for multiple pages of this thread is really bugging me. I get it, her hair looks a little fried/stringy and if she were my friend or an acquaintance I won't pretend like it would be above me to think that she should probably chop off a few inches. 

But good grief, she is an infantilized young woman who at the time of the infamous screenshot was still under the authority of her parents, who subscribe to a patriarchal strand of fundamentalist Christianity that demands that she keep her hair long and flowing. Maybe she would be "allowed" to cut off a few inches if she asked, but it's not exactly like she could go  get a bob she saw in the most recent issue of Vogue, paying for the cut with her own money from a part-time job. 

And you know what, even if she could - who gives a flying fruit? My hair is thick and curly, and I refuse to straighten it because I'm not a morning person. I understand that some people consider this style not super professional or put together. Guess what, I have other priorities. The fact that so many FJeres have such strong opinions on what this young woman should be doing with her hair makes me sad. I know not everyone here would identify as a feminist, but when we spend so much time cutting down other women over their appearances, it makes me realize how far we have to go.

Moving on - @MargaretElliott - I have been interested in transitioning away from frequent shampooing for a while (I currently do about every other day). The only concern I have is after working out. Do you exercise, and if so do you wet your hair afterwards to get some sweat out or follow some other procedure?

 

I have thick, straight blonde hair, I wash about 2x a week, need to use dry shampoo on the last day or so, I also live in ponytails. The oil shows so easily with my hair, but not washing it is nice. After working out, I just don't worry about it much... never had a problem.

[wikinggirl]

I just went from Duggar long hair (dow to my waist) to a lob. I love it! Washing and drying it used to take a day because my hair is so thick.  I still only wash it once or twice a week and I actually prefer my hair a little dirty, it's a lot easier to work with. The only thing I miss about my long hair is milkmaid braids, although it was actually too long for it in the end. 

[IreneIssh]

4 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I can barely go three days! And yes cowlicks! I have those demon curls over my ears and as soon as there is moisture in the air, out they pop.

Me too on the cowlicks! Mine are on each side of my forehead, so they really do look like demon horns 

[Carm_88]

17 minutes ago, IreneIssh said:

Me too on the cowlicks! Mine are on each side of my forehead, so they really do look like demon horns 

Mine are just over my ears. So I look like one of those bulls or rams. *Sigh* 

[mizandry]

2 hours ago, lomo6 said:

OK, I'm not one to freak out about a little appearance snarking here and there, but the fact that we have been talking about how Jinger's hair looked bad in a screenshot for multiple pages of this thread is really bugging me. I get it, her hair looks a little fried/stringy and if she were my friend or an acquaintance I won't pretend like it would be above me to think that she should probably chop off a few inches. 

But good grief, she is an infantilized young woman who at the time of the infamous screenshot was still under the authority of her parents, who subscribe to a patriarchal strand of fundamentalist Christianity that demands that she keep her hair long and flowing. Maybe she would be "allowed" to cut off a few inches if she asked, but it's not exactly like she could go  get a bob she saw in the most recent issue of Vogue, paying for the cut with her own money from a part-time job. 

And you know what, even if she could - who gives a flying fruit? My hair is thick and curly, and I refuse to straighten it because I'm not a morning person. I understand that some people consider this style not super professional or put together. Guess what, I have other priorities. The fact that so many FJeres have such strong opinions on what this young woman should be doing with her hair makes me sad. I know not everyone here would identify as a feminist, but when we spend so much time cutting down other women over their appearances, it makes me realize how far we have to go.

-snip-

Thank you. Honestly, it gets exhausting having to sift through pages of thread drift on the girls' hair every time it comes up. I'm not saying people can't talk about it ever... but it's troublesome just how much attention is spent on giving random Duggars unsolicited hair advice, and repeatedly (like every time a new picture comes up in the thread).

Hair is very much political; given how much their lives, bodies, and (again) hair are already controlled by patriarchal cult standards... I just feel really gross about the thread focusing this much on Jinger's and whether or not it should be cut/has extensions/is actually thick or thin or fried or not. 

I can understand why it came up re: Jinger's wedding prep, but I do wish we'd be a little more selective in what we choose to focus on with these folks and for how long, otherwise the critiques get too disproportionately BEC over the actual things they say, do, and associate with + promote. This discussion is taking me back to all of my hair anxiety and the sense of entitlement people have felt over my hair, as if it was on their own damn head. lol

[PennySycamore]

10 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

When I was a freshman in college I was amazed that my roommate washed her hair every single day (she has blonde, straight hair). She was amazed that I put oil into my hair while she had dry shampoo.

She also just ran the blow dryer through her hair for 10 minutes and went to bed. When I wash my hair I gotta clear my schedule. Black hair is no joke. It's very delicate and labour intensive. If I ever tried to wash my hair every day it would fall out of my head. The soonest I wash my hair is a week. I can go 12 days easily (if I'm not sweating and keep it moisturized and wrapped before bed)

That's why it was such a huge deal that Simone Manuel won two Golds and two Silvers in Swimming at the Summer Olympics last year.   Black kids often don't learn to swim because their hair is not east to deal with.

I'm a curly girl that does wash her hair every day (or most every day).  It just looks too messy if I don't wash every day.  I really should get a different refreshing spray and/or do something to protect my curls at night.  

[Jinder Roles]

50 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

That's why it was such a huge deal that Simone Manuel won two Golds and two Silvers in Swimming at the Summer Olympics last year.   Black kids often don't learn to swim because their hair is not east to deal with.

 

I'm not too sure about that. It can be a pain in the ass to deal with hair sometimes...but I know a lot of black people who swam competitively (I was part of a swimming club myself and swimming was mandatory in PE all the way up to 11 grade). 

I think maybe it has more to do with opportunity. Good swimming can get hella expensive. And swimming isn't really seen as a sport 'for black kids'' (for many economic reasons/stereotypes) and so they focus more on things like track, basketball etc. 

We aren't afraid of the water...I was a water baby myself. Couldn't keep me out of a pool.

 

Edited to say: black people have many different hair types. I have coarse fine hair which is chemically straightened so I wash less often. I know some people who wash every 3 days and some condition every day. It depends on preference and hair type 

[Iokaste]

20 hours ago, wandering woman said:

Many reality shows use hair stylists, and the women's hair looks fine.  I guess TLC is too cheap to do so.

 

Naah, the women's hair on most "reality" shows looks overstyled, way too complicated for the activities they are supposedly doing and in no way something that anyone would be doing on a regular basis irl.
Dance Moms is one of the worst. Besides all the horrible parenting and borderline child abuse that goes on, the caked on makeup and elaborately styled hair, makes it seem like the producers are having an intern joke on the viewers behalf as in  "hahaha, are they really stupid enough to believe this is real life?!!".

[MargaretElliott]

Hi @lomo6! I don't know what your hair situation is, but I have pretty thin, dry, wavy hair. I don't use any products (other than shampoo or conditioner) or heat styling. I'd start with increasing hair-washing intervals to every three days, then when that remains relatively clean, every four days, etc. Braids are your friend. I don't work out per se, but I do a lot of manual labor in the summer, and it gets HOT. If my hair is too sweaty, I like to do a thorough scalp massage under cool water, and let it air dry. That feels really good after a hot, sweaty day! I also use hair oil on the ends whenever I get it wet. That's just my experience, experiment and see what you like!

Personally, I'd advise against the baking soda no-poo movement. They advocate baking soda as shampoo and apple cider vinegar as conditioner. It does work for some people, really well. But while the vinegar can be a great hair rinse, baking soda can be HELLA HARSH. Harsher than some shampoos. So just throwing that out there.

[debdebdebby13]

I have gone to using conditioner only. I have wavy, fine, average thickeness, hair. It used to be just the slightest bit wavy but then it got slightly more wavy after I had my daughter and once I had my son it's full on wavy. Not curly though, just wavy...weird. I washed everyday all through high school and college and then started to do every other day and I've gotten to the point now where it HAS to be done every 4th or 5th day. 

The conditioner has enough surfectants in it that it will lather a bit and clean if I use a good amount, so I can avoid the stuff in shampoo that dries my scalp and makes it itchy. It's getting really long too, probably just a couple of inches above my butt. I am having thoughts of cutting it because it's never been this long before and it kind of annoys me, but I don't know if I want to!

[SamiKatz]

56 minutes ago, debdebdebby13 said:

I have gone to using conditioner only. I have wavy, fine, average thickeness, hair. It used to be just the slightest bit wavy but then it got slightly more wavy after I had my daughter and once I had my son it's full on wavy. Not curly though, just wavy...weird. I washed everyday all through high school and college and then started to do every other day and I've gotten to the point now where it HAS to be done every 4th or 5th day. 

The conditioner has enough surfectants in it that it will lather a bit and clean if I use a good amount, so I can avoid the stuff in shampoo that dries my scalp and makes it itchy. It's getting really long too, probably just a couple of inches above my butt. I am having thoughts of cutting it because it's never been this long before and it kind of annoys me, but I don't know if I want to!

 

I have wavy, fine hair as well, and just went from BSL in the back, to a chin length bob.  My hair took forever to dry before (like 6-7 hours), and now only takes 3-4 (I never use a blow dryer), but I'm happy with the big cut nevertheless.

[Jana814]

I use to have longer hair. Now not anymore. My mother has curly hair as does my sister. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I'm jealous. I love thick curly/wavy hair but it gets so greasy after one day that I have to watch it the next or else it feels disgusting. If I don't have the time to wash it, I definitely can't wear it down. It has to be up and it still feels like an oily mess. 

[PennySycamore]

@MargaretElliott, I tried washing my hair with baking soda exactly one time.  I hated the way my hair felt.  I do use a cleansing conditioner though, alternating between Deva Curl Decadence and Renpure Cleansing Conditioner.  I usually use Deva Supercream to style although lately I've also addd a little Hask Argan oil as a leave-in and some Kinky Curly Coiling Custard (KCCC)  to boost the Supercream.  It's what works for my curly hair.  I may use a microfiber towel on my hair, but I never use heat.