Ken Alexander thinks molestation/incest are totally normal ~ Always Learning

[RosyDaisy]

My sister warned her children's orthodontist about Ken Alexander, the orthodontic office consulant who believes molestation and incest are normal.

[Curious]

5 hours ago, polecat said:

Or he's a part of a glittering reputation management strategy.

When I was perusing Ken's linkedin I noticed that under recommendations there is only one and it is the one he gave to Ryan.    I don't really use linkedin much, so I'm not sure how much the recommendations are actually used, but you'd think for someone that is professed to the one of the top orthodontic consultants in all the land, he'd have at least one recommendation from a colleague or client.

3 hours ago, kpmom said:

I wonder how small a world orthodontia is?  Would most practitioners in Southern California, for example, know each other?

I don't know the answer to this, but I did notice that on linkedin he belonged to a community of dental type folks that had 11,000+ members.

I'd think consulting jobs work a lot on networking, but certainly not my area of expertise, so I'm guessing/using common sense.

[Carol]

Dear Ken, you ol' godly husband, you! 

Sounds like you're tired of Lori's Victoria Victim behavior and in your own inimitable way, posted a column about fake people and situations as a means of passively aggressively telling Lori to get off the pity pot.  Too bad, so sad someone molested her, if she'd just turn to Jesus like you have all would be well!

Fuck...your marriage must be hell on earth.

JMO, OC, you insufferable dick.

ETA...And orthodontic consultant in California who says molestation and incest are normal as a means to put your less-than-godly wife in her place.  JMO, OC, you fucking prick.   

[theinvisiblegirl]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I warned my orthodontist in AZ about Ken Alexander the orthodontic consultant in California who thinks molestation is fine. Fortunately, my ortho is a great guy and takes care of his team and patients with ALL his heart. I will be going to visit with Doc and the crew when we go back to PHX next month (to take care of some business)...but I WILL be making time to pop in and see Doc and everyone.

I am very glad that you have an orthodontist that will not work with someone like Ken Alexander, the orthodontic consultant in California who thinks molestation and incest are normal.

[iheartchacos]

Anyone have actual screen shots of Ken Alexander, the orthotic consultant in California's statements about molestation being acceptable for fact checking/reference. Maybe One can ask for clarification in the sooper sikret groop.

[samira_catlover]

On 5/22/2016 at 3:03 AM, Mercer said:

So let me get this straight...

Consensual mutually enjoyable premarital sex = a huge sin that will diminish your value in the eyes of your future spouse

Loving gay relationship = a huge sin that will ruin America and take away religious freedom via the gay agenda

Sexual abuse = no big deal

???

That is insane troll logic.

Stand down,folks, the quote function got weird...again.

For my part, I don't care if someone is an orthodontist, an orthodontic consultant, a plain old dentist, or just ANY kind of medical/allied health professional. Incest is NOT normal. Molestation is NOT a usual practice.  Children need to be protected, and, for that matter, ALL kinds of vulnerable people need to be kept safe from people who think incest and sexual molestation are No Big Deal if you don't THINK they are.

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

I am very glad that you have an orthodontist that will not work with someone like Ken Alexander, the orthodontic consultant in California who thinks molestation and incest are normal.

My AZ ortho is not a greedy dick like Ken Alexander the orthodontic consultant who thinks molestation is ok. He has a thriving practice and gives away thousands and thousands in free care every year. He also does mission trips, but they're REAL mission trips, bringing dental care to people all over the world. He and his team shut down the office for 2 weeks at a time 4 times a year for these trips. Oh, and he pays ALL expenses for his team and pays them their regular salary while they're on the trips. Yeah, Doc is the bomb...and he did a helluva job on my teeth too!

Oh, and Thanksgiving night I had a wire snap...and he met me in the office the morning after to fix it...as in I called the office, left a message and doc called me back...like, himself! Anyone in the PHX area looking for an orthodontist, PM me and I'll give you Doc's information. 

[samira_catlover]

Darn it, you are nearly three thousand miles away----but a big hurray for for your ortho, who donates professional skills and who also makes sure his staff do NOT hurt financially because of his charities.  

[samira_catlover]

Am going to go out on a limb here. (Potential Trigger Warning: I am wayyyyy beyond pissed off and my Political Correctness left here an hour ago.)

Spaces, because not sure how to put in spoilers (removed spaced - Buffy)

Spoiler

 

Have read this thread (and others) and have seen the comments from people who were victimized in different ways, and who have shared their pain. (May I salute your courage?)  

May I ask to send blessings, and peace, and good wishes, and healing, and energy, and, heck, everything wonderful, for all you folk who dared to speak up, and also for the behalf of others too hurt to talk? *Dear Deities of Compassion and Mercy, all makes and models, PLEASE WAKE THE FUCK UP AND SEND HELP, ok?*

I can sorta-kinda-vaguely-dig that a sexual assault victim maybe-might be quite hurt if the general cultural attitude and focus is on "oh my dear, your sacred purity is IMPAIRED, oh how awful, and why didn't you holler and protest?---poor thing!"---as opposed to "oh, freaking shit, hon, you were a victim of an ugly assailant, and it's WAY ok to be completely pissed off and angry, and what should we have recognized early, and what helps should we have mobilized to comfort and aid you, and to protect others against such evil?"

You are NOT bound to the reactions of other folk who seem to feel that "death, rather than dishonor!" was the way to go----and if you have been hurt by assault of any sort, it's YOUR feelings that ultimately matter---us bystanders really don't have a vote in this.

I honestly don't give one good gawd-damn if you screamed to high heaven, or if you were too terrified, or ashamed, or upset to protest: That goes, any gender affiliation.

If you were assaulted or sexually molested, whatever your gender, affiliation, orientation, WHATEVER, in any setting, it was totally NOT YOUR FAULT.  It was never your fault, or your sin, or your error, or your carelessness.

NOT YOUR FAULT.

NOT YOUR FAULT.

NOT YOUR DOING, NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE OUT OF LINE, NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE REBELLIOUS OR UPPITY, NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING ENTICING, NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU WORE OR DIDN'T WEAR, OR YOUR MENTAL STATUS.

NOT YOUR FAULT.

You did NOTHING, other than being there near a predator, and you were vulnerable, and it was our responsibility to help protect you.

 

Edited to add your spoiler tags/remove spaces and adjust the huge font.  Both would have been very difficult for our mobile users.

We have an FAQ on how to use spoiler tags http://www.freejinger.org/faq/ 

If you have any questions with formatting please post in tech support and someone will help you.

 

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

Thank you, @samira_catlover   It is always helpful (for me) to hear things like that.  Even though I know logically and rationally in my head that I bear no fault for what was done to me, the only time my heart lets up on the drumbeat of guilt and shame is when I see a little girl who was the age I was.  Then I just feel stunned at his actions and at my own response.  Oddly, it is only my early childhood abuse that has this hold on me.  I had other experiences during my jr high and high school years for which I have never felt ashamed or guilty about, though I did strive mightily to minimize them as no-big-deal or not even having happened, until I cracked up almost 2 decades later.  Admitted to myself that it was something not nothing and I had the right to feel my feelings, and am doing much better now.  If you've read "Not My Father's Son" by Alan Cumming the part where he describes his nervous breakdown after packing everything away in the attic of his mind was scarily familiar.  I had to put the book down at that point and take a breather.

I have the "Body Keeps the Score" book in my Amazon cart now, I found "The Courage To Heal" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis extremely helpful, but I hadn't heard of that one and it seems like something that would really help me.  I have a lot of issues that are all tangled up and like to manifest themselves physically, and I can't seem to untangle no matter how aware I am of why it's happening.

You also touch on something that is as damaging as the idea California Orthodontic Consultant Ken Alexander espouses, that molestation, incest, and abuse are normal and no big deal - the loss of purity in the eyes of your religion, the being compared to a chewed piece of gum as the amazing Elizabeth Smart put it.  As a Catholic, I was often treated to the story of St Maria Goretti and how she bravely chose death better than be raped.  In some versions they even talk about how she saved her would be rapist from raping her so blessings times 1000.  I have no idea why they find this inspiring.  All that tells a child (or an adult, really) is that they're better off dead than "impure".

 

[samira_catlover]

Buffy, have I mentioned recently that I <3 you lots? And big hugs for all the techno-savvy people who help us Olde Dinosaurs? Thank you for fixing things!

[theinvisiblegirl]

This topic has been dead for 23 hours and went to the second page of Quiverfull of Snark. So this is just your friendly reminder that Ken Alexander, an orthodontic consultant in California, thinks molestation and incest are normal and okay. To any non-FJ member reading this considering doing business with him, maybe don't?

[smittykins]

17 minutes ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

This topic has been dead for 23 hours and went to the second page of Quiverfull of Snark. So this is just your friendly reminder that Ken Alexander, an orthodontic consultant in California, thinks molestation and incest are normal and okay. 

And who also expects molestation and incest victims to "just get over it."  Because Satan.

[refugee]

33 minutes ago, smittykins said:

And who also expects molestation and incest victims to "just get over it."  Because Satan.

And also expressed the "helpful" idea that when molestation and incest survivors are troubled by the past, it's because they have the wrong attitude about the whole thing.

[General Jinjur]

I'm new here. (Came for the Duggars, stayed for the Nauglers, and have just recently started down the Alexander hole.) And I gotta say I'm appalled that Ken Alexander, the orthodontic office consultant, believes that molestation and incest are normal. I am also very glad that my orthodontist did not use an orthodontic office consultant like Ken Alexander, who believes that molestation and incest are normal.

[Granwych]

On ‎5‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 4:08 AM, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

Thank you, @samira_catlover   It is always helpful (for me) to hear things like that.  Even though I know logically and rationally in my head that I bear no fault for what was done to me, the only time my heart lets up on the drumbeat of guilt and shame is when I see a little girl who was the age I was.  Then I just feel stunned at his actions and at my own response.  Oddly, it is only my early childhood abuse that has this hold on me.  I had other experiences during my jr high and high school years for which I have never felt ashamed or guilty about, though I did strive mightily to minimize them as no-big-deal or not even having happened, until I cracked up almost 2 decades later.  Admitted to myself that it was something not nothing and I had the right to feel my feelings, and am doing much better now.  If you've read "Not My Father's Son" by Alan Cumming the part where he describes his nervous breakdown after packing everything away in the attic of his mind was scarily familiar.  I had to put the book down at that point and take a breather.

I have the "Body Keeps the Score" book in my Amazon cart now, I found "The Courage To Heal" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis extremely helpful, but I hadn't heard of that one and it seems like something that would really help me.  I have a lot of issues that are all tangled up and like to manifest themselves physically, and I can't seem to untangle no matter how aware I am of why it's happening.

You also touch on something that is as damaging as the idea California Orthodontic Consultant Ken Alexander espouses, that molestation, incest, and abuse are normal and no big deal - the loss of purity in the eyes of your religion, the being compared to a chewed piece of gum as the amazing Elizabeth Smart put it.  As a Catholic, I was often treated to the story of St Maria Goretti and how she bravely chose death better than be raped.  In some versions they even talk about how she saved her would be rapist from raping her so blessings times 1000.  I have no idea why they find this inspiring.  All that tells a child (or an adult, really) is that they're better off dead than "impure".

 

When Wychling was in 1st grade and in Catholic school, she came home one day and said that she wanted to always have a "pure heart."  They start the kids off early there.

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

20 hours ago, refugee said:

And also expressed the "helpful" idea that when molestation and incest survivors are troubled by the past, it's because they have the wrong attitude about the whole thing.

This is very similar to the belief that LGBT people suffer emotional and mental problems as a result of their orientation, and not from the constant condemnation, bullying, and abuse by people like them.  The old "they're killing themselves because they're sinful and they know it, not because I'm telling them they're sinful every chance I get and making their lives a living hell" routine.

@Granwych, they do indeed.  It's very sad.  

[Season of life...]

21 hours ago, refugee said:

And also expressed the "helpful" idea that when molestation and incest survivors are troubled by the past, it's because they have the wrong attitude about the whole thing.

I'm ill over this--think your pain away? It's all about attitude? Fuck Ken Alexander the orthodontic consultant who believes molestation is normal.

I was extremely lucky that my parents found out about my "funny uncle" fairly early in the grooming period. No real harm done, right Ken? I had the "right" attitude: I forgave, moved on and rarely think about what happened to me. As I said, I'm one of the lucky ones. 

Last year I was watching TV, and someone uttered the phrase, "Give me some sugar". That was my uncle's signature call to me, and all came rushing back. I ended up sobbing and balled up behind our recliner. I didn't know I had a trigger like that; my palms are wet just typing the phrase. My reaction was an utter shock to me. I was sick for days afterward.

I have nothing but admiration and love for those who survive horrific betrayals by those they trust. Victims can continue to walk through hell long after the physical abuse has ended, and this prick gets off by victim blaming. Unbelievable and unconscionable.

Ken Alexander may not abuse physical bodies, but he abuses and causes harm to the spirits and souls of those who look to him for help and guidance.

He is evil. He allows evil to fester through his words and actions. He encourages people to live in darkness. Evil.

[iheartchacos]

They make a monster pair. Ken Alexander, the orthotic consultant in California, thinks incest is no big deal..:and his wife, Lori Alexander of Always Learning, believes women are at fault for being raped because of how they dress.

[Curious]

I want to, again, thank the people that are coming forward with their stories.  I know this has to be painful for the people posting, but they are doing more good than Ken and Lori Alexander will ever do with their "ministry" and "mentoring."

I sincerely hope that people who have had to listen to the vile things that people like Ken and Lori spew find posts like the ones made here and realize that there is NOTHING wrong with them and EVERYTHING wrong with what they are being/have been told.

 

[Tiger Lily]

This is just mind boggling!  That he and Lori would think it's okay to defend this sort of thing openly is shocking to me and I'm not easily shocked.  WTH is wrong with them???  This goes way beyond hypocrisy and being a little nutty.

If I were the in-laws (and their children), I'd watch my children around Ken and Lori.  I'm also hoping their readers can see how strange they are and jump ship, pronto.  I've always felt that Lori could negatively affect women who are seeking advice from an older Christian woman.  Just think of the serious damage she could inflict on a marriage, yikes!

BTW, several members of my family have experienced sexual abuse (mother, uncle, two older sisters), and I'd love to share with Ken and Lori just how this abuse affected their entire lives.  You don't just get over this and move on!

[RosyDaisy]

Wait, didn't Ken the orthodontic consultant from California who thinks molestation and incest are ok say the the best thing a woman recovering from sexual assault to do is to do is just submit to her husband sexually? That submission was the "cure"? I remember seeing it somewhere.

[Tiger Lily]

14 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Wait, didn't Ken the orthodontic consultant from California who thinks molestation and incest are ok say the the best thing a woman recovering from sexual assault to do is to do is just submit to her husband sexually? That submission was the "cure"? I remember seeing it somewhere.

 

If so (and I believe you're correct), then Ken is beyond sick.  What's amazing to me is how open he is with his views -- views that could affect his business detrimentally.  I can't figure out if he's just plain stupid or so arrogant he feels that nothing can touch (no pun intended) him.

[FundieFarmer]

Very last result of first page of Google mobile search, y'all!

[TeaGrannie]

5 hours ago, Tiger Lily said:

If so (and I believe you're correct), then Ken is beyond sick.  What's amazing to me is how open he is with his views -- views that could affect his business detrimentally.  I can't figure out if he's just plain stupid or so arrogant he feels that nothing can touch (no pun intended) him.

So hard to say. I'm just starting to learn about Ken Alexander, the orthodontic consultant, who believes molestation and/or incest are no big deal. I did see the old threads when he came to the boards and requested members stop calling his wife a monster so he is obviously aware of the internets power yet totally disregards it.