Australian Blogger's Son Dies- Sparkling Adventures

[Guest Anonymous]

I find it interesting that in here entire life up to her sons passing she had no experience with death. She never lost a friend or a relative to death. What a sparkling speshul snowflake.

I haven't had that much experience myself; if your family is small and sufficiently spread out around the world, it can bypass you for a long time.

I seem to remember her having at least one experience of death though, through the mysterious poisoning of the family dog, Misty, whom they had been trying unsuccessfully to re-home. Happily, the death was mercifully swift and freed them up to go travelling as they had planned.

[Artemis]

Especially if 'a word' actually means 'headlock' :D

No, no, I'd be very polite to her. Really polite.

[Witsec7]

They're in proper seats ... just not fucking belted in, which is driving me CRAZY. I'm hoping like hell all the photos showing them with the straps pulled down were taken with the car stationary and they were just in their seats for comfort and privacy from siblings.

Do you have a link to the photo? I appreciate your certainty, on all the threads you contribute to, but every picture tells a story.

[Kitchen Princess]

There are a lot of radical unschoolers. A feature of their pictures is unbrushed hair and pyjamas (like my house at 11am on a Saturday). I have seen a couple of blogs of travellers

Or there's this

http://familyrun.ning dot com/group/familesontheroad

I was a radical unschooler. I know many of the people on that group, having met them at conferences, stayed in their homes, friends with them on Facebook. The pictures don't describe the whole of a radical unschooler's life and I do see unwashed kids walking to school here, too. Tread carefully.

[BravaAmica]

I was a radical unschooler. I know many of the people on that group, having met them at conferences, stayed in their homes, friends with them on Facebook. The pictures don't describe the whole of a radical unschooler's life and I do see unwashed kids walking to school here, too. Tread carefully.

Yeah it does seem unfair to paint all unschoolers as parents who allow their kids to stay dirty and unkempt. I'm not an unschooler myself but I do know a two families (they were fellow soccer parents the one time I let DS play soccer). And the kids are groomed, clean and in clean clothes.

[miffy]

What happens when unschoolers reach high school? Do they start attending school? I can see it potentially working in the USA where they can sit a GED. But we don't have that in Australia.

[lilith]

My sister unschools. She says she will allow her kids to attend high school or TAFE if they choose to, but her eleven year old only lasted one term before asking not to return to school. If she couldn't deal with it at eleven I don't think integrating and dealing with the routine of school will become any easier as she gets older.

You can do higher education as a mature age student without a HSC or equivelant after 21 I think, but that assumes that your education has equipped you to study at a university level, and not all unschoolers achieve that - I highly doubt Lauren's kids will. Which leaves these children trapped in their parent's lifestyles.

Regarding DOCS - Lauren's children wouldn't be difficult to place. There would be willing family members, and failing that the fact that they are pretty, healthy, young white girls would ensure that they were placed quickly. The younger girls would adjust to a more regular routine very quickly, and Aisha and Brioni would remember a time when their life was extremely routine bound.

I don't see DOCS removing them though. If they decide to intervene they would be far more likely to work with Lauren to achieve a range of requirements (to demonstrate that she was adequately homeschooling, to send the girls to regular counselling, to attend medical checkups, etc). The culture of Community Services is respectful almost to a fault of alternative lifestyles and family structures, and DOCS workers would be being very careful not to offend or alienate Lauren. There would have to be immediate, demonstrable harm and neglect to the children and Lauren would need to totally refuse to cooperate with DOCS for the kids to be removed. And there is the eternal problem of jurisdiction as she skips from state to state.

[chaotic life]

If DOCS is like it is in the US, then even if they intervened, they couldn't keep an eye on Lauren *forever.* I suspect the reason Lauren had to have the Gifted Gypsy and stayed in her shed SO long was *because* DOCS was involved with the kids. They cannot say she cannot travel once they close her case. She's together and smart enough that she'll toe the line while she's being watched and will immediately revert back to lousy parenting once she gets the case closed.

She's not traveling in the cargo truck anymore, and she has carseats for all of the girls. She's deliberately documented "school" for the girls, as well as dental health, therapy appointments, and healthcare. She is deliberately doing some of that to make a trail for the catch points that DOCS would be looking for. If she were in a contested divorce, a judge could put an end to her shenanigans instantly. She's a single parent whose spouse is incarcerated now. There is NO ONE to take her court, and courts would be far more effective.

In the US, DCFS has to be very careful to show they are not descriminating against families simply because they are poor. I imagine that same concern would apply to travelers. Everything that concerns people SHE can lump under her lifestyle choices and claim is not unsafe for the kids. It's not necessarily true, but it would be hard to prove that with intervention.

And, as was just mentioned, she keeps changing jurisdictions. WHO is going to intervene. If someone were to report her *right now,* they would have to report to the authorities in Tasmania. I'm thinking the government is likely too busy to try to find her, assuming they COULD find her. Then, they have to prove she's deliberately careless with her children's safety and not merely a dumb clueless tourist like all of the others. Jurisdictions cannot share information faster than she can change jurisdictions. Her history doesn't follow her from encounter to encounter.

I would say that something catastrophic has to happen and others would argue that something already DID. The problem is that Lauren doesn't carry the blame for David's crime legally. You would have to show she was an accomplice in Elijah's murder and since she isn't charged, I'm guessing that would be exceptionally hard to do. So, something catastrophic has to happen on LAUREN's watch before someone is going to sufficiently intervene.

It would be SOO much better of Lauren voluntarily decided she needed to leave the girls with her sister or someone for a year or two and then atually attempted to put her life back together. However, since she doesn't work and no longer has David to work for her, those girls are her meal ticket and paycheck. If she voluntarily places them with relatives, she has no funds to live on herself.

I am noticing a couple of changes on her blog that might seem to show something has to change soon though. First, she's become almost obssessed with "we." She made a comment that one of the purposes of the blog now is that it's the only way David can be in the girls lives. I think she has morphed the blog into a conversation with David quite a bit, as if she sees herself talking to him in a private conversation about the girls. I'm not sure if that will lead to some healthy or more instability but I see the shift. Second, she's bringing up money more and more.

I would guess the donations are drying up pretty quickly. She hangs out with other nomadics. They aren't going to subsidize her lifestyle forever. Other people would expect her to get her act together and support herself. She no longer has David's labor to earn money when it's tight and her government checks are not going to continue to be enough. She lost her funds for Elijah and Del just turned 3, which appears to be another cut of age for reducing funds. I wouldn't be surprised if she's forced to either get pregnant or get a job at some point soon. It's my understanding that those funds are structured to wean you as the kids grow and encourage you to go back to work as the kids get older.

Right now, those girls are smart enough that they could transition to school. They would have a lot of learning and catch-up to do. However, they could do it. The older they get, the more the gaps grow and their general education falls behind their peers, the bigger the mountain they will need to cross to accomplish what their peers can do.

I have known full unschooled kids going to college. However, I have never known one who didn't concede that they had a HUGE handicap by unschooling all the way through. Unschooling is not the big bad wolf, honestly. Lauren is. Dedicated unschooling parents set up learning for their kids and guide them when they have gaps and miss things.

My last long-term homeschooler is mostly unschooled. He's the one that thrives on unschooling. The ones who needed more structure went to public school in middle and high school. HE is at a collegiate level on most of his academics (and drives me crazy). However, he is not *fully* unschooled. I have structure and curriculum and I control his subjects he doesn't pursue on his own to make sure his education stays balanced. Lauren's idea of unschooling is the hardcore definition. She takes them on field trips, and they do learn a lot that way. However, she does NOTHING to fill gaps and basic concepts. Aisha should be at a much better reading level and she's making no efforts on her own to teach basic reading, writing or math to her kids. Now that she's resorted to the kipi babysitters, she's not going to teach writing at all. It's LAZY. It wouldn't be hard to make sure the girls have basics and she does nothing to that goal.

[amydamy]

Going into a lolly shop is easy to do. The fact that we’ve done it once before doesn’t lessen the joy that such an outing brings. The girls responded to my excitement as well as the anticipation of their own tasty treats.

This struck me as so odd for some reason as a kid I was super excited to go the candy store no matter how many times I'd been before, I was a kid and there was candy. It's like she has absolutely no insight into her kids or children in general. I can get my niece exited about going to get gas or milk with me. I used to think it was awesome to walk to the corner store and get the paper for my grandpa even though I'd done it a tons of times before.

[Guest Anonymous]

This struck me as so odd for some reason as a kid I was super excited to go the candy store no matter how many times I'd been before, I was a kid and there was candy. It's like she has absolutely no insight into her kids or children in general. I can get my niece exited about going to get gas or milk with me. I used to think it was awesome to walk to the corner store and get the paper for my grandpa even though I'd done it a tons of times before.

I think she is just over-explaining, as usual, possibly in an attempt to convince herself,as well as others, that everything she does is more sparkly than when other people do it. She either doesn't get, or chooses not to get, that children all over the world benefit from informal learning, every minute of every day. She seems to believe that those parents who send their children to school everyday miss out on the simple pleasures of going to sweetie shops or jumping in puddles or whatever else she is engaging with in the sparkliest of ways, today.

I think as, CL said above, she is running out of funds and invitations and so is turning up the sparkle to try to beg some more funds:

Where to from here?

I don’t know. I don’t know where we’ll go. I’m trying not to over-plan our itinerary. There are many more beautiful places in Tasmania left to explore. Then there’s the mainland of Australia, and lovely friends calling us overseas.

But I don’t know if greater trips are possible, especially with our tighter financial situation. It weighs on me, and I try not to think about it.

[Vex]

'I try not to think about it'

...because I know if I mention it people will fork over donations, so I don't need to.

[chaotic life]

Elijah's death was quite the fundraiser for Lauren. However, I question how long the money WILL keep rolling in now. At some point, even her followers would want to see her do *something* to support herself.

[Wolfie]

If DOCS is like it is in the US, then even if they intervened, they couldn't keep an eye on Lauren *forever.* I suspect the reason Lauren had to have the Gifted Gypsy and stayed in her shed SO long was *because* DOCS was involved with the kids. They cannot say she cannot travel once they close her case. She's together and smart enough that she'll toe the line while she's being watched and will immediately revert back to lousy parenting once she gets the case closed.

It just seems like a lot shorter time for DOCS to be involved than CPS usually is if they find things that need to be corrected. A HS friend of mine had a mental breakdown, and her doctor reported her, and CPS got involved. The whole thing lasted at least a couple years. (She had to get counciling, go to classes, she had to do all sorts of different things, she even had to hide her girlfriend because the younger kid's dad complained, never mind that he had a girlfriend!, and the judge agreed that a homosexual relationship was bad for the kids.)

[happy atheist]

That post about the end of the road/world is clearly designed to tug heartstrings and open wallets. Yuck.

And then there's this in the Cockle Creek post:

The bridge over Cockle Creek provides enough height for jumpers. On our first day here, teenaged boys were doing back-flips off the railing and into the water. If the water was a bit warmer, I may have considered a bridge jump.

Seriously, Lauren? Seriously?

[Witsec7]

Elijah's death was quite the fundraiser for Lauren. However, I question how long the money WILL keep rolling in now. At some point, even her followers would want to see her do *something* to support herself.

I'm in a rush to get out the door, but I'm going to check the fundraising FB page when I get back. Initially it posted totals of the monies raised.

OT Chaotic, you are one poster who really adds to each and every thread you contribute to. I really appreciate what you have to say and how you say it.

[ILoveJellybeans]

That post about the end of the road/world is clearly designed to tug heartstrings and open wallets. Yuck.

And then there's this in the Cockle Creek post:

Seriously, Lauren? Seriously?

:shock: :shock: :shock:

Doesnt she remember that it was how Elijah died???

[Guest Anonymous]

:shock: :shock: :shock:

Doesn't she remember that it was how Elijah died???

I do think there is something deliberate and quite sinister in the way she repeatedly posts photos of the children playing unsupervised in or near water, and with bridges in the background. Also... the naked photos of Delaney are a new and disturbing thing.

[Guest Anonymous]

Elijah's death was quite the fundraiser for Lauren. However, I question how long the money WILL keep rolling in now. At some point, even her followers would want to see her do *something* to support herself.

http://www.facebook.com/sparklingelijahrainbow

Sparkling Elijah Rainbow

29 November 2012

Just letting everyone know that I've transferred the last of the money from the Paypal account to the bank account and will transfer that to Lauren when it comes through. Then I'll be closing the accounts. If you want to make any further donations, please do so directly to Lauren. You can contact her via her page. Cheers, Cas.

The main fundraising page seems to be focused on crocheted 'love blankets' right now. Which might account for the increased financial talk on her blog.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I dont know whether shes just stupid and neglectful or is hoping more of her kids have fatal accidents.

With all of the naked kid pics and how easy it is to make Lauren trust people to take care of her kids, I am legitimately suprised that none of the kids have been molested or kidnapped. She really needs to be more careful before something awful happens again.

[chaotic life]

Given her absolute lack of supervision and propensity to encourage her kids to wander off with strange adults she just met, it is 100% IMPOSSIBLE to state that none of the girls have been molested already. I don't think Lauren would know or CARE if that has happened to her girls. I don't think she would state it happened. I don't think she would report and get help for her kiddo and I don't think those girls would feel safe to TELL her it happened.

Want to know what I find glaringly missing in her posts? Any knowledge of the girls actually grieving. She really believes that if she keeps life sparkly then they don't hurt. She NEVER talks about their hurting at missing their dad and brother, there was the brief, clueless and insensitive question to Dell but nothing else. My son died two months after hers and we knew it was coming.

My children talk about Micah ALL THE TIME. My poor preschooler will come to me at random times and state, "I miss Micah, boo hoo." He will then proceed to have a 20 minute fake cry session because he doesn't know HOW to LET himself cry. His art therapist (because my two kids the same age as Lauren's still get WEEKLY art therapy for processing their grief) says he's very vocal in therapy about his grief and his brother.

There's not a child in my house who doesn't mention and talk about their brother several times per week. I don't WANT them to stop talking about him. He didn't stop existing when he died. He will always be a part of us.

Lauren sometimes will have these windows of her own grief and pain....but she DENIES it entirely to her children. Their lives must SPARKLE so she can be an emotional vampire and suck their joy to give her a reason to live. For me, walking this grief of burying my son, that is VERY telling about what she is and is not doing to her girls.

[Guest Anonymous]

Want to know what I find glaringly missing in her posts? Any knowledge of the girls actually grieving. She really believes that if she keeps life sparkly then they don't hurt. She NEVER talks about their hurting at missing their dad and brother, there was the brief, clueless and insensitive question to Dell but nothing else.

Nope. She took them to one (probably mandatory) session at the Children's grief therapy centre and wrote a blog post saying how much the girls liked it, but how she didn't know if she would continue, because all she wanted was advice for herself on how to 'manage' their grief behaviour.

Also horrendous in the latest post is that not only is does she deny the girls' own grief, she also denies that they are precious to her in the way Elijah and David were:

Maybe I’ve come this far to find myself again — to work out who I am now that I am no longer half of a couple. To find out who I can be after I have lost those most precious to me.

You are so right that they those precious girls are just a distraction and a meal ticket to her.

[wild little fox]

I dont know whether shes just stupid and neglectful or is hoping more of her kids have fatal accidents.

With all of the naked kid pics and how easy it is to make Lauren trust people to take care of her kids, I am legitimately suprised that none of the kids have been molested or kidnapped. She really needs to be more careful before something awful happens again.

Why would a grown man disappear overnight with a child in the woods? :'(

[wild little fox]

I think she is the one who tossed Elijiah into the water. Maybe it was PPD or she had a psychotic break. Maybe she is in so much denial about what happened. In my armchair therapist opinion her "tell" is the posts where she shows the children playing in the water, her seeming obsession with water and bridges, etc. maybe somewhere she feels guilt and this is how she is telling everyone with out confessing. This, alon the lines of OJ Simpson's book "If I Did It."

[August]

I think she is just over-explaining, as usual, possibly in an attempt to convince herself,as well as others, that everything she does is more sparkly than when other people do it. She either doesn't get, or chooses not to get, that children all over the world benefit from informal learning, every minute of every day. She seems to believe that those parents who send their children to school everyday miss out on the simple pleasures of going to sweetie shops or jumping in puddles or whatever else she is engaging with in the sparkliest of ways, today.

She went straight from uber-fundy scheduler and obsessively formal instruction for her not-yet two year old to radical unschooling dreadlocked hippy in the space of six months. She didn't even pass through the realm of normal parenting where 98% of us exist. Maybe she doesn't even realise we exist?

[pixydust]

I think she is the one who tossed Elijiah into the water. Maybe it was PPD or she had a psychotic break. Maybe she is in so much denial about what happened. In my armchair therapist opinion her "tell" is the posts where she shows the children playing in the water, her seeming obsession with water and bridges, etc. maybe somewhere she feels guilt and this is how she is telling everyone with out confessing. This, alon the lines of OJ Simpson's book "If I Did It."

I still think that she had something to do with it....and I agree the pictures of bridges, the girls in water (and the pic of Delaney standing on a bridge railing) just seem like too much to me!