Australian Blogger's Son Dies- Sparkling Adventures

[Guest Anonymous]

My best friend died of cancer in November, I never got to see her in the hospital but I struggle to even watch scenes in movies of people dying in hospital or I get so upset I can't even function. I have no idea how this nutcase manages to see her kids near a bridge without freaking out, let alone take some sick pleasure from it.

I am sorry for your loss. I have had similar experiences.

I know we all grieve differently, but I just think this is a very odd behaviour from Lauren, in the context that she does describe many of her antics thus far in terms of running away from what happened. For whatever reason she is forcing her children to replay the water incident over and over. And she says she has already lost the people that were most precious to her.

[pixydust]

I am sorry for your loss. I have had similar experiences.

I know we all grieve differently, but I just think this is a very odd behaviour from Lauren, in the context that she does describe many of her antics thus far in terms of running away from what happened. For whatever reason she is forcing her children to replay the water incident over and over. And she says she has already lost the people that were most precious to her.

I think it's telling that the people "most precious" to her are the males in her life.....the females? Not so important.

[BoomerLynn]

I am sorry for your loss. I have had similar experiences.

I know we all grieve differently, but I just think this is a very odd behaviour from Lauren, in the context that she does describe many of her antics thus far in terms of running away from what happened. For whatever reason she is forcing her children to replay the water incident over and over. And she says she has already lost the people that were most precious to her.

This worries me so much, especially for her older 2 girls. They are more clearly able to understand exactly how their baby brother died, and yet post after post there are pics of them camping near a body of water. The girls are frequently unsupervised while playing in said bodies of water. I cannot imagine being 7 years old, knowing my baby brother drowned because my father jumped off a bridge with him, and then being encouraged to play in the water everywhere I went (especially when bridges were involved). I wonder if Aisha feels some sense of responsibility for her younger siblings, like she has to watch out for them because their mother obviously does not. That is a burden no child deserves to bear.

[JesusFightClub]

I found the transition from the spoon fed structured life of high school to the autonomous learning in college difficult.

Where I think unschoolers lose out is learning how to buckle down and do things you don't want to do, or remaining polite through boring things. And especially, dealing with assholes or even just people you're not that keen on. And those are really important skills in real world employment. If your first instibct when you're told to stop complaining and mop the floor is to storm off and go surfing, you're going to havetrouble keeping a job. Even an etsy seller of hand felted yoni brooches has to do her taxes, or sit through a boring meeting with pin suppliers. Or just buckle down and fill a bulk irder of five in one week when the jacaranda's in bloom outside and you'd rather be dancing.

This, really.

It would be a good thing if all young folk (be they homeschooled, unschooled, state schooled or whatever) got some lessons in what it's actually like. At my state school there was compulsory work experience at 15 and I worked for 2 weeks stacking boxes. After that at age 16 I worked before and after school in retail and worked almost solidly since. Unschooled kids need to have that kind of experience, I know maybe their parents don't want it but if you have been used to "I decide, and I want to go out and smell the roses not sit through a tedious meeting about procurement contracts" it's going to be so bloody tough for you.

And believe me I sympathise. I have been to my fair share of tedious meetings, angry meetings, and meetings where I thought "why the hell is this even happening". Dealt with customers who I wished devoutly would be struck by lightning on the spot. Dealt with unfair management, been told "It's been decided we'd be in breach of the Equalities Act if we don't sack your whole department. Pick up your papers, you have four weeks on gardening leave." Working is a bastard at times. But under the system you can't pretend you don't have to.

[Guest Anonymous]

I think it's telling that the people "most precious" to her are the males in her life.....the females? Not so important.

And yet Elijah was an 'alien leech' and David was the man she had not wanted sex with in the 15 years they had been together.

[Artemis]

And yet Elijah was an 'alien leech' and David was the man she had not wanted sex with in the 15 years they had been together.

Seriously?

She said that about the baby and about David?

What a bitch, what an absolute bitch. (And I don't call people bitch lightly.) I never read that bit.

I wonder if that was what drove David to take the baby's life.

I'm surprised he didn't take his own.

[BravaAmica]

Seriously?

She said that about the baby and about David?

What a bitch, what an absolute bitch. (And I don't call people bitch lightly.) I never read that bit.

I wonder if that was what drove David to take the baby's life.

I'm surprised he didn't take his own.

There's a theory that Lauren tossed Elijah in the river and David took the fall. I think it's possible. I also think that she stays on the move because it makes it difficult for the authorities to find her and the girls.

[kunoichi66]

Especially if 'a word' actually means 'headlock' :D

Indeed.

[Guest Anonymous]

There's a theory that Lauren tossed Elijah in the river and David took the fall. I think it's possible. I also think that she stays on the move because it makes it difficult for the authorities to find her and the girls.

She said that about Elijah when she was suffering PND. She said the stuff about David in the context of writing about his desire to have an open marriage. The context is important. But since she has not been behaving normally for so long, it speaks volumes to me that if Elijah and David were 'most precious' to her, then the girls are really not much more to her than subject matter for the blog and a huge sympathy and cash-magnet to her leghumpers.

[formergothardite]

I think the most precious thing to Lauren is herself.

[lilith]

I think the most precious thing to Lauren is herself.

I agree, and her self image as a mother grieving with grace, wisdom and enlightenment.

She has to emphasise how precious Elijah and David were to her so we can all admire her strength in moving on and continuing to find that sparkle in every day.

[chaotic life]

You are not supposed to demand sparkle in the aftermath of burying your child. You are supposed to find your breath and your stability, and it damn well isn't easy to find most days. You are supposed to hold your babies, and wipe their tears and see a doctor when your own nightmares make sleep so illusive that you cannot function when the sun is up anymore.

I first read Lauren's blog because her son had just died as mine was dying. I wanted to see what was immediately in front of me in the road because it felt overwhelming and something I would never feel ready to face. She's become a trainwreck I can't turn away from sometimes because my jaw just drops at how she does NOT honor her children's grieving. I cannot fathom how you can call yourself a mother and not honor the right every member of the family has to grieve in their own way, and how every child need access to therapy when they need it--and siblings DO need grief therapy but her girls also lost their father and not just their brother.

My mantra from before Micah died was that everyone grieves in their own way and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Lauren is more than welcome to address her OWN grief as she needs. She doesn't have the right to dictate her children's grief, and she doesn't allow them to grieve in their own ways. She demands their grief NOT exist and they simply be the sparkle that she can use to distract herself from her own grief.

If the child credit drops at 8 and not 3, then I was partially correct. She's about to see a drop in income from Aisha and Brioni is only something like 16 months younger than Aisha so she'll have drops in her income two years running, likely this year iirc. This after she lost both Elijah's funds AND David's earning potential, AND the donations are no longer being collected. She also stopped getting rent from her rentors. The money has to be worrying her. Hard to have nearly as many sparkly adventures when anchored to Australia and seeing the income steadily drop. I'd love to think it might force Lauren to get a job. However, she could pick up a male traveler....and I frankly would be VERY leary of a male traveler willing to hook up with a woman with four little girls.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I dont think Lauren would ever function in a job, shes too sparkly, and it would mean she would have to stay in one place.

[lilith]

Chaotic Life - her parenting payment isn't effected until her youngest child is of school age, so Aisha's age won't change her payment until she is sixteen, so long as she has a child under school age as well.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you. It must be surreal to read Lauren's strangeness whilst going through something similar.

[lilith]

I dont think Lauren would ever function in a job, shes too sparkly, and it would mean she would have to stay in one place.

Strangely enough, Lauren seemed to love her job. She did some sort of PR role with the Queensland Crime Commission, and she was very sad to give it up when she became a mother, and took bits and pieces of work whenever she could get David to watch the kids for a few years after quitting. She also used to take Aisha and Brioni into her old office for visits when they were babies.

Her lifestyle has changed now, and I don't see her going back to an office job, but it's one of the few things she had written about that she seemed genuinely happy doing and that she didn't have to push herself to squeeze a sparkle out of.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Wow, I never saw her as the sort....although she used to be a fundie as well, and I wouldnt have imagined that from seeing her now.

Her interests and personality seem to change so dramatically.

[mirele]

I saw this on Gawker and my first thought was it was about Lauren...

Harrowing Photo Shows Tasmanian Family Fleeing ‘Tornadoes of Fire’

http://gawker.com/5974503/harrowing-pho ... es-of-fire

Not Lauren. Not this time.

[BravaAmica]

I saw this on Gawker and my first thought was it was about Lauren...

Harrowing Photo Shows Tasmanian Family Fleeing ‘Tornadoes of Fire’

http://gawker.com/5974503/harrowing-pho ... es-of-fire

Not Lauren. Not this time.

Am I going to hell for thinking that if Lauren's kids were in the lake at least some of the dirt would soak off and they'd be cleaner?

[Kitchen Princess]

Creaky Steel - you seem to have read a lot into my comment, far more than I actually wrote.

I'm certainly not extrapolating my nieces experiences to all unschoolers. I was simply talking about my experiences with unschooling in Australia in response to a poster who asked how unschooled Australians access higher education.

I'm not labelling my niece a failure. I'm pointing out that when she opted to go to school she had difficulties dealing with the structured environment and she chose to leave that environment instead of learning to function within it. In my opinion, adapting to that environment will get more difficult for her with time, especially when the social pressures of being a teenage girl are added to the mix, and if she chooses to attend university as an adult without having attended high school it will be a much more difficult transition for her than for people who have attended schools and are used to dealing with timetables, peers, testing, teachers they don't click with etc.

I also don't view her choice to return to unschooling as purely hers. My sister and her social group look down on conventional education and see little value in it, and while she allowed her daughter to sample the school experience, she didn't encourage and support it, and she was open about the fact that she didn't think it was the right choice. So I don't think my niece is directing her own education any more than my children who go to public school are. Both sets of children are following the path that their mother advocates.

I do encourage my niece in her pursuits. She often finds it awkward to spend time with my family though, as she gets very embarrassed that my daughter, who is three years her junior, can read more fluently and has pop culture knowledge that my niece lacks. My niece is aware of the shortfalls within her life and education (as is my daughter, we all have them), but despite the unschooling mantra of empowerment, she is unable to rectify them without the support of her mother, and her mother is very invested in unschooling and isolating her children from mainstream culture.

I realise that no two unschooling families are alike, and that the outcomes for unschooled children vary dramatically. I am not painting all unschooling families with the same brush.

I do, however, see many similarities in the way my sister schools her children and the attitudes she and her friends have regarding education and Lauren's attitude and schooling, which is why I brought it up.

My goal in parenting is to do all I can to equip my children with the skills they need to be whatever adult they want to be. Many unschooling parents profess a similar philosophy. Yet I look at my sister's children and highly doubt that they are developing the skills and confidence to lead a life similar to my families, and I look at my children and think that they are developing the skills and confidence to lead her lifestyle if they so chose, along with many others. I do think that my sister, Lauren, and many other unschoolers are severely restricting their children's future options, and I think that's s tragedy. I also know unschooling families who are doing wonderful jobs and raising confident, capable children.

Please, for your niece's sake, keep your opinions to yourself. Your confirmation bias is showing.

[pastaswife]

I am sorry for your loss. I have had similar experiences.

I know we all grieve differently, but I just think this is a very odd behaviour from Lauren, in the context that she does describe many of her antics thus far in terms of running away from what happened. For whatever reason she is forcing her children to replay the water incident over and over. And she says she has already lost the people that were most precious to her.

Thank you

She just pisses me right off, I don't understand people like this. At all. I don't ever want kids, but if I had one (let alone five) I'd make sure I at least kept them safe from things that are clearly dangerous (like water, fire, getting lost with random strangers) and kept them fed and warm.

[lilith]

Please, for your niece's sake, keep your opinions to yourself. Your confirmation bias is showing.

Excuse me, but for my nieces sake I will stand up for her right to be afforded the opportunity to be a part of mainstream society if she so chooses, instead of doing what a random Internet stranger commands me.

Where the fuck do you get off? I'm not judging all unschoolers as doing a bad job, but you're certainly judging me and taking a hell of a lot for granted based on very limited Internet interaction.

[Aisling]

You are not supposed to demand sparkle in the aftermath of burying your child. You are supposed to find your breath and your stability, and it damn well isn't easy to find most days. You are supposed to hold your babies, and wipe their tears and see a doctor when your own nightmares make sleep so illusive that you cannot function when the sun is up anymore.

I first read Lauren's blog because her son had just died as mine was dying. I wanted to see what was immediately in front of me in the road because it felt overwhelming and something I would never feel ready to face. She's become a trainwreck I can't turn away from sometimes because my jaw just drops at how she does NOT honor her children's grieving. I cannot fathom how you can call yourself a mother and not honor the right every member of the family has to grieve in their own way, and how every child need access to therapy when they need it--and siblings DO need grief therapy but her girls also lost their father and not just their brother.

My mantra from before Micah died was that everyone grieves in their own way and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Lauren is more than welcome to address her OWN grief as she needs. She doesn't have the right to dictate her children's grief, and she doesn't allow them to grieve in their own ways. She demands their grief NOT exist and they simply be the sparkle that she can use to distract herself from her own grief.

If the child credit drops at 8 and not 3, then I was partially correct. She's about to see a drop in income from Aisha and Brioni is only something like 16 months younger than Aisha so she'll have drops in her income two years running, likely this year iirc. This after she lost both Elijah's funds AND David's earning potential, AND the donations are no longer being collected. She also stopped getting rent from her rentors. The money has to be worrying her. Hard to have nearly as many sparkly adventures when anchored to Australia and seeing the income steadily drop. I'd love to think it might force Lauren to get a job. However, she could pick up a male traveler....and I frankly would be VERY leary of a male traveler willing to hook up with a woman with four little girls.

I'd just like to say that I'm really sorry for your loss, and that, just on the basis of reading your posts, I think you're pretty incredible :) ((hugs))

[Aisling]

Please, for your niece's sake, keep your opinions to yourself. Your confirmation bias is showing.

I thought that was a very balanced post from lilith, actually. I really don't see what problem you find in it? Unschooling isn't somehow beyond criticism, any more than ordinary schooling is.

[OkToBeTakei]

I thought that was a very balanced post from lilith, actually. I really don't see what problem you find in it? Unschooling isn't somehow beyond criticism, any more than ordinary schooling is.

I tend to agree. I found the discussion interesting. Every form of education has it's good and bad points.

[Guest Anonymous]

While I am afraid for Lauren's children, as financial support seems to be drying up, I can't help but be vaguely amused that Lauren's followers remain as vapid and insensitive in their comments, in the bad times she experiences as well as the 'sparkly' ones.

Lauren B**** F*****

6 hours ago via Twitter

Having said that, our travels have ground to a temporary halt, with a clutch-plate malfunction stranding us in Launceston for a week.

N*** M*** There is a reason! Enjoy the stay!

5 hours ago via mobile · Like · 6

N*** G**** Praying for smooth repairs and beautiful opportunities and experiences!!! X

5 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

J**** W**** hope Launceston is a fun place!

4 hours ago via mobile · Like

D*** B**** A reason or a season - either way you are where you should be

about an hour ago · Like · 2