My Children Love Being Homeschooled!

[DifferentGurl]

In three different districts, in two different states, we've never had to be vetted by a school nurse. One district did have the District Nursing Supervisor sign off on the services, but it was a formality and nothing more. Also, all of the districts we've dealt with have required the teaching be done by a certified teacher and not a therapist.

We've had to do it for medical issues in the past, but he's on permenant services at this point due to his medically fragile nature and his hospice status.

I'm sorry that your son is in a hospice. It's one thing to have a special needs kid who is otherwise healthy, but it's another to have one that's sick. I hope your son gets well.

I was diagnosed with autism and had 40 hours a week of therapy starting when I was five, but it was not through the school system. My school system ( at least when I was in elementary school ) didn't do anything significant to help me. They put me in a special needs classroom that was more like daycare than actual school. I was capable of learning, but the school was relunctant to mainstream me and put me into the regular classroom. They were even thinking of sending me off to a different school ( which would have been the third ) for no good reason ( at least none that I can think of ). I had to go to a parochial school, and when that got bad ( bad teachers, members of the church board arriving late and drunk, pastors pretty much wanting to do exorcisms on ADHD children ), my parents homeschooled me. Finally, I went to an online school run by the public school system ( not in my school county, but I was easily able to switch over to the online school's school county ). That was when the public school system finally helped me, but it was only when I was higher functioning.

So glad your school system is doing better to help your son than my school system when I was in elementary school did.

I remember reading an article about the Duggars having some kids with learning issues. They say that their kids are "slow learners." I'm concerned that they don't know the difference between "slowing learners" and "learning disabilities." If they don't know, their kids could be missing out on help during their most important years - help that could really make a difference. I'm not that concerned with how they can afford it ( considering all the money they have from TLC ), but whether they can admit that their kid needs help!

[holothuroidea]

Of course her young children will tell her they don't want to go to school or to leave her. They've spent the majority of their little lives with her and it's natural for them to be nervous about being away from her. But that's not a reason to homeschool a child.

Why not?

[holothuroidea]

I think it's good that the child is expressing some contentment over her situation, but a 5 year old is not really in a position to say whether or not homeschooling is in their best interest. Contentment is a start, but there's also a matter of how her style of education will impact her future that she has absolutely no idea about (for example).

I'm going to do what's best for my kids. Public school, home school, a mix of both, whatever they need. I'm really lucky that I'm in a position to send them to an excellent public school, but am also in a position to provide an excellent home education (minus indoctrination, plus copious social opportunities).

[jessablessa4realz]

I've noticed a LOT of the issues stem from isolation. The homeschoolers that I know who are involved in park district stuff, or community bands, or such have an easier time than the folks who completely isolated their children. *coughduggarscough* Guy I went to HS with was homeschooled til highschool. His mom kept him INSANELY isolated and he was S.C.R.E.W.E.D up!

My friend who was yanked out of school for bullying? her mom kept her in park district stuff, had her doing community theatre, that sort of thing. She's a bit weird but she' s completely able to function in the real world~ she's got 2 BA's, one in Art and the other in Theatre and is applying for masters programs right now. (Her mom jokes "she's not weird because she' was homeschooled, she was homeschooled because she's weird". Which honestly? I think is G-ds truth ). Her grades in college? were always WAY better than mine.

However, isolation isn't all of it. Homeschooling is one of those things that I personally think that you NEED to WATCH your kids and make sure that they're doing well, as opposed to "BLAH BLAH BLAH THIS IS MY HOLY CRUSADE AS A SAHM". I also plan on having an actual, you know curriculum that's not "switched on schoolhouse" or "college minus" material. I'm basically going to set up lesson plans like a "real" teacher would. And you know, an actual SCHEDULE because I will need structure as much as they will.

I think, in some cases, home schooling is detriment to socialization. A friend of mine was home schooled and it took him forever to come into his own as an adult. I think if he didn't end up hanging around a bunch of hyper-socialized people like the rest of our group of friends, he may have never gotten out of his "socially awkward" phase. he didn't come out of his shell until his late 20's.

[Conuly]

I think, in some cases, home schooling is detriment to socialization. A friend of mine was home schooled and it took him forever to come into his own as an adult. I think if he didn't end up hanging around a bunch of hyper-socialized people like the rest of our group of friends, he may have never gotten out of his "socially awkward" phase. he didn't come out of his shell until his late 20's.

And in some cases schooling* is detrimental to socialization, say, if the kid is being heavily bullied or the like.

And in some cases, of course, the kid is being homeschooled BECAUSE they have some issue that affects their ability to socialize. The trouble is that people just remember that one weird homeschooled kid and a. forget the rest b. forget the weird other kids and c. assume it's homeschooling.

God damn, our ability to note patterns is a curse at times!

* I oftentimes wish we had some sort of totally neutral term for "sending your child to school" that wasn't awkwardly long like "sending your child to school" is. There's homeschooling, unschooling, and... what? You could say "Abandoning your child for others to raise" or "Refusing to make your kid a weirdo illiterate freak", but those terms aren't neutral! Or short, for that matter, which is the important thing.

[clibbyjo]

Not all kids are going to "come out of their shell" regardless of how they are schooled. My oldest son is very,very shy and always has been. He fences and is on the swim team,but he does NOT talk very much at all. It has nothing to do with how he is schooled. My younger 2 kids are both very social and love being around groups of people,its just a personality thing.

[chaotic life]

I was public schooled from start to finish and was just plain socially ackward. My brother and sister were not, but I suffered tremendously in school. It wasn't that it took me into my 20s to find my own identity. It was that it took into my 20s for socialization to stop looking like a blasted popularity contest, of which I had NO interest in participating. I thrived in college, especially in the Honors Program at a major University. There, I was allowed to seek out knowledge and the pressure to "socialize" didn't exist.

I have some kids who are the cool cats in school and others who are total social misfits and belong on the island of misfit toys. NONE of that is based upon homeschooling versus not homeschooling. The special needs child belongs on the island of misfit toys. He has no hope of EVER decoding human social interactions. The two with Asperger's Syndrome require lots of scripting and guidance, even though they are in different school environments than each other now. Those not on the spectrum (the other five kids) do marvelously well, regardless of where they get schooled.

ALL of the kids were homeschooled for elementary ages (well, except the pre-schooler who did Pre-K this year but will go back to homeschooling in the fall for the rest of her elementary schooling). All but one of the older children has had at least one forray into public schooling, several have done online schooling, etc. How they are socialized has nothing do to with how I have raised them nor what schooling choices I have made for them. It has everything to do with whether they are on the spectrum or not. The two high functioning AS can learn socialization, just as I did, but it doesn't come natural to them. The non-ASD children need no guidance. The special needs child is profoundly autistic and no guidance in the world will ever help him decode socializatin properly.

People want to blame homeschooling for socialization issues. The truth is that unless they are isolationist homeschoolers, homeschooler is RARELY the culprit behind ackward socialization. Usually, families with children struggling often pull them from school because they aren't getting it and they don't want education distracted by the social struggles. Parents who struggle socialize don't usually know how to guide their children when they homeschool them. And, sometimes kids don't WANT to socialize the way adults thing "all" children must.

[crawfishgirl]

This is a relevant topic for me. My kids have been attending a Catholic school, but we are pulling them out and putting them into the public school for the next school year. My oldest was in 3rd grade this past school year, and the 'mean girl' bullying was at epidemic levels. The group dynamic in that grade wasn't good at all. But it wasn't just her - I spoke to other parents who told me that their kids would come home crying due to being treated badly by the other kids, and I heard that this was prevalent in some of the other grades as well. From what I learned and heard, it boiled down to a number of kids who were spoiled rotten, and thought it was ok to be mean to other children who didn't conform to their standards. Unfortunately, this was occurring at extreme levels. Some of the older grades had students taking pictures of other kids at school and using Instagram to post their pictures and diss them. The school finally took action, mainly due to the fact that the pictures were at the school and the kids had their uniforms on, which identified the school publicly. Otherwise, the school didn't address bullying very much at all.

As a result, they will be attending public school next school year. Through neighborhood activities, I've met other parents who have had similar experiences at other private schools, and decided to go to public school to get away from the extreme pressure to conform. I met one mother whose children attended a Baptist school for a few years, but switched to public school because her older daughter didn't 'fit the mold' well enough, and wasn't being treated nicely by the other kids. She said that her daughter did much better in public school because the kids were more accepting of differences.

[Snickerdoodle]

I think, in some cases, home schooling is detriment to socialization. A friend of mine was home schooled and it took him forever to come into his own as an adult. I think if he didn't end up hanging around a bunch of hyper-socialized people like the rest of our group of friends, he may have never gotten out of his "socially awkward" phase. he didn't come out of his shell until his late 20's.

I have to echo what others have said that homeschooling isn't necessarily the cause of or even a factor contributing to "social awkwardness."

I highly, highly recommend the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won't Stop Talking." It addresses the misguided idea in our culture that being shy or introverted is a character flaw and something that needs to be corrected. In fact, those socially awkward people, when left to their own devices, are frequently the people who move our culture forward in technology, medicine, and business.

[QAF_Rocks]

I didn't mean to imply that they were; the OP was talking specifically about public schools, so that is why I used that language.

Sorry for going off on a tangent! I just seized on a random quote, and I didn't mean to imply that you thought they were.

A lot of people have made good points. Bullying seems like it can happen anywhere children get together, even a homeschooling co-op. It might not be possible for kids to completely avoid encountering bullies. The moments adults step out of the picture, some children are going to seize on the opportunity to make fun of others.

I guess the only way of avoiding it is to never let children socialize alone, like the Duggars do! :?

[QAF_Rocks]

I highly, highly recommend the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won't Stop Talking." It addresses the misguided idea in our culture that being shy or introverted is a character flaw and something that needs to be corrected. In fact, those socially awkward people, when left to their own devices, are frequently the people who move our culture forward in technology, medicine, and business.

I'm reading that right now! Good book. :)

Re: socialization, I was a quiet, introverted child, and I feel that going to school benefited me because it made me better able to interact with unfamiliar children and adults. If I'd been able to stay home with my parents, I don't think I would have been pushed beyond my comfort zone at all.

The social structure of school is one reason that I would personally never homeschool. I want my children to have the cultural experience of going to school. It's such a massive part of our culture, and there are so many milestones and traditions and rituals associated with it. Plus, I think in most cases, children benefit from the experience of being away from home, of gaining independence, of functioning as part of a larger group, of learning to deal with people they don't have much in common with or don't like, etc.

If I had a child who wasn't thriving in a regular school environment, I'd be more likely to go the alternative school route. If that wasn't getting the job done, I'd consider homeschooling, although I would probably hire private tutors rather than doing it all myself!

[ElphabaGalinda]

Why not?

I think that many kids have a hard time adjusting to being away from their parents for the first time, but the vast majority eventually get over it. Also however you school, your children need to have opportunities to be away from their parents, unless they plan on isolating them. I think xDreamerx is refering addressing natural separation anxiety and teaching kids to function away from their parents instead of avoiding teh issue, which is what the OP appears to do.

[holothuroidea]

I think that many kids have a hard time adjusting to being away from their parents for the first time, but the vast majority eventually get over it. Also however you school, your children need to have opportunities to be away from their parents, unless they plan on isolating them. I think xDreamerx is refering addressing natural separation anxiety and teaching kids to function away from their parents instead of avoiding teh issue, which is what the OP appears to do.

I would find a different solution to that problem, and I would never expect a child to "get over" anything.

If my kid was scared and stressed out about going to school because it's hours of the day away from me and she's never really been away from me before, then I don't see a problem in finding a way to do a slower transition or taking the time to get her used to the idea of being away. Three or four hours of independence isn't something that a five year old should be expected to muster up in one day if they aren't ready for it.

I just think it's important to listen to children's cues with regards to what they are ready for. If they aren't ready for something and there is not a pressing need, there is no reason to force them into a situation they won't handle well. So I think that a child being very nervous about being away from mom is a good reason to homeschool for a year. On the condition that you spend that year also working on building their confidence with other adults so they can transition to school when they are ready.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I would find a different solution to that problem, and I would never expect a child to "get over" anything.

If my kid was scared and stressed out about going to school because it's hours of the day away from me and she's never really been away from me before, then I don't see a problem in finding a way to do a slower transition or taking the time to get her used to the idea of being away. Three or four hours of independence isn't something that a five year old should be expected to muster up in one day if they aren't ready for it.

I just think it's important to listen to children's cues with regards to what they are ready for. If they aren't ready for something and there is not a pressing need, there is no reason to force them into a situation they won't handle well. So I think that a child being very nervous about being away from mom is a good reason to homeschool for a year. On the condition that you spend that year also working on building their confidence with other adults so they can transition to school when they are ready.

Oh, I interpreted it as being a bad reason to homeschool forever, which it is. I agree it's a great reason to homeschool for a year, but a bad reason to homeschool forever if it's the only reason.

[holothuroidea]

Oh, I interpreted it as being a bad reason to homeschool forever, which it is. I agree it's a great reason to homeschool for a year, but a bad reason to homeschool forever if it's the only reason.

Yeah that would be pretty dumb, and is totally something a fundie would do. They seem to think in terms of "never" and "forever."

[ElphabaGalinda]

Yeah that would be pretty dumb, and is totally something a fundie would do. They seem to think in terms of "never" and "forever."

Yeah I was thinking that might be a reason for the fundie in the OP to be homeschooling. They seem big into isolating their kids, and feeding them lies about the evils of public school, so I imagine this is something a lot of them do, which is bad.