Training Fleshy Flesh

[Turtle]

Those quotes make me sick. We have a new baby, and the thought of leaving her crying in her crib alone to teach her a lesson makes me so sad. Do people really want their tiny baby conditioned to lay still and not cry out? And mothers want to teach their baby that mommy won't be there when you're sad or lonely or scared, so don't bother communicating in the only way you are capable of?

The thought of hurting my kids makes me want to puke. How could any human being think it's acceptable to treat another living thing like that?

[Turtle]

"Don't bother looking to me for comfort, you inherently sinful creature" is the absolute last message I would ever want to send my child.

[debrand]

I had never heard of them -- can't remember if I heard about them before coming to the FJ Yuku board, or shortly thereafter.

Debrand, I'm so sorry you went through that frustration -- it must have felt like being in Bizarro World.

Thank you. It is silly but I am still angry that so many people defended child abusers. Their followers often defended the Pearls on the basis that their teaching is 'biblical'.

[Defrauding Errday]

The Pearls are horrible parents that aren't fit to even raise a pet rock. They don't seem to realize that you don't have to beat your children into submission or train them like animals to make them well-behaved, productive members of society. They're just turning their kids into robots with broken spirits.

[mschelseae]

You're not the only one. This guy points out how much one of Pearl's articles reads like a rape fantasy:

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this is so so true, his voice reminds me of a youtube series I watched a while back about how fantatical religion, walt disney, and sado-masochism all fit together. Really... interesting stuff. It's crazy what you find when you start digging. I don't wanna get labled a crazy conspiricy theorist, but I do see a lot of similiarities in Duggar/Fundie stuff and the things you guys talk about here just make me wonder more and more every day

[StarrieEyedKat]

"Don't bother looking to me for comfort, you inherently sinful creature" is the absolute last message I would ever want to send my child.

Amen. I still can't wrap my head around the whole "the crying newborn is just trying to manipulate you" mindset.

[icecreamycakeycake]

I wanted to include one activity from TTUAC that I thought was meant to create Stockholm Syndrome in the children. The Pearl parents would stand with a switch(a limber stick) while barking commands at their children. "Touch the doorknob." "Don't touch the knob." "Sit" "Stand" etc. If the child did not immediately comply with the order, they were hit. If the child did not comply with a smile, they were hit.

Before this site, one of the few people who I found willing to condemn the Pearls was TulilpGirl. If you do a search on her name, you can find her articles.

I have often thought that the Pearls methods could be used by a fictional evil character to create Stockholm Syndrome in their victims.

I highly reccomend reading Tulipgirls blog posts on this subject. I sent her a message alerting her to the shoutout, maybe she'll pop over and post her links.

[Three and Done]

For people who have never heard of these maniacs, the Pearls don't just advocated child abuse, but domestic abuse as well. Created To Be His Helpmeet has lots of interesting theology indicating that the husband is always right and that his wife should stay no matter what he dishes out. Pearl states that men were made in God's image and woman in man's image, that the wife needs the husband to mediate between her and God. However, women are responsible for men's sins because they are the main temptation.

From page 79:

On page 132-4, the Pearls relate the story of a friend who was abused to the point that her husband came after her with a butcher knife while she was pregnant with their third child. The woman realizes it is because she is not "reverencing" him enough, begins doing so, and he changes.

Here is how women should deal with abuse according to the Pearls:

Debi Pearl calls women names throughout the book, including "dumb cluck" “cheap office wenchâ€, “cheap office hussyâ€, “lazy, complaining wife,†“cranky, demanding leechâ€, “skinny swine†and “hillbilly ugly, which is worse than everyday uglyâ€.

Of course men must earn nothing, but women must earn every affectionate glance:

The book, like everything the Pearls write, is a hotbed of crazy and bad theology as well.

I am so sad, sick and ANGRY! I have heard many excuses for abuse, but this one... So, my ex throwing me down the stairs, splitting my lip, holding me down by my throat, and ultimately herniating a disc in my neck, brought "great glory to God"? What a disgusting piece of propaganda! Just what abusers need - "holy" justification for beating their wives/girlfriends!

Another woman I know has suffered extreme abuse at the hands of the monster she has been involved with. He has gone so far as to rape her in front of one of their very young children, and intentionally hit her with their car. I guess she must REALLY be doing something wrong, eh?/sarcasm.

Oh, how I wish there were some way that these foul creatures could be prosecuted for contributing to the injury/death of others.

I wonder if Debi Pearl would find it enlightening to be the victim, rather than the soapbox queen she is. (No, I am not suggesting she be beaten.) She needs to STFU and go far, far away.

I'm going to go hug my kids now.

[meow139]

"Don't bother looking to me for comfort, you inherently sinful creature" is the absolute last message I would ever want to send my child.

THIS. Babies are precious, and shouldn't be treated like dirt! They should be loved, respected and cherished. :angelic-little:

[ellerigby]

Ellerigby, and everyone else who is just learning how bad this stuff is -- keep boiling, and join the fight!

The Amazon review page is one option --giving thumbs up or down to reviews and comments, writing a review if you've read the book.

http://www.amazon.com/Train-Up-Child-Mi ... Descending

In my area of work, we know about the Pearls, talk about and follow them- cops and social workers usually look for their book and other similar books when investigating houses in which abuse has been alleged. I just haven't read them yet (I didn't want to purchase the book or get it at the library- now that I see that excerpts are available online I will definitely educate myself further). I guess I didn't realize how explicit they were. I found the description of the near-drownings particularly horrific.

Thank you for making me more aware.

[Justvisiting]

This is nauseating. And enraging.

I had heard about the Pearls when the deaths of the children were in the media, and I had known they were extreme and abusive in their teaching, but I have no words for this. It's despicable behavior - and that they would teach others to do this is exponentially worse.

Those poor children! Having to undergo that is horrible enough, let alone all the psychological, emotional, and spiritual abuse that comes with it.

We have never spanked our kids. They are still very young - 5, 3, and 1.5 - and I cannot imagine the mindset that gets a parent to this place where the child is their enemy - that it's somehow a battle that the parent must "win". :(