Meta-Commentary and Question - Attractive Men

[JesusFightClub]

Hmm, I think fantasies differ wildly from what one wants in real life from a partner. Everyone has someone they fancy that they would not really want to live with day in day out and see their dirty socks and stuff. That's part of the appeal of fictional characters and celebs, you don't have to go in the toilet after them and wonder what the hell they've been eating ;)

I'm sure your pal is a very nice guy but there's a peril with being a Nice Guy which he may be on the verge of falling into. All the relationship ails in the world start to be "not my fault, I'm a nice guy!" I had a mate like this and he was indeed nice and kind but he was also shy. He would not make a move when there was a girl he liked and would just sit in the corner. However said girl was supposed to psychically intuit how nice he was and what a great partner he would make. Eventually he started sounding very like your friend and finally he became quite bitter against women (we aren't still friends). Sometimes tactics just need a little work...

[dcmhejbl62]

I always liked BJ on M*A*S*H*, because he was so nice to his wife. I also have a thing for the mustache.

[gracegrace]

Alan Rickman was a favorite of lots of us well before any of the HP movies hit the screen, so I don't think you can say that Rickman-love means that people find Snape's personality compelling. And really Snape isn't the typical "bad/mean boy".

And if you're going to argue that 'smart women like Rickman' then I think you'd have to include some other actors who appear to have lots of smart women fans. Liam Neeson, David Tennant, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Bean. . . I have friends who carry torches for all these guys. And who are happily married to gentlemen who look nothing like 'em :-)

[Shirley MacLaine]

I like Brad Pitt, but I don't want children and I could give a fuck about his parenting skillz. I just want his pen15.

But my fave male celebs are Leo, Hugh Jackman, Matt Damon, Alexander Skarsgard, Peter Sarsgaard (that scene with him & Vera Farmiga in the kitchen in Orphan? oh god, so hot) & now Chris Hemsworth. I know nothing about any of these men's personal lives but your friend is welcome to infer what this means.

ETA: And I'd f the s out of Jon Hamm for sure.

[lovefromgirl]

I LOVE Alan Alda!!!!! He did a book signing at my school, and I was a total fangirl. He is amazing as a person, and a very good speaker. I don't know how old you are Faust, but I'm 30, so, he's totally too old for me, but oh so hot. And charming in the best sense of the word.

And even Hawkeye had a soul, you know? He was a guy's guy and a womanizer, but everybody knew it--he didn't hide that. And he was loyal to his friends.

Come to think of it, my husband could have similar hair if he'd give it a deeper part...and he has that sexy/distinguished salt and pepper thing going on. :)

While I always loved Hawkeye, my real soft spot was for Winchester. I swoon over music people, so the episode where he rustled up one-handed music for a wounded pianist won me over.

But the salt-and-pepper thing is wickedly sexy, yes. As are bald men, for some reason. WTF, self? Where did that come from?

-- the girl who crushed on fictional!Don Francis in "And The Band Played On". I hear the real one is nice, too... married, but nice. :)

[LilMissMetaphor]

Sliding off topic, but I'll play: in my teens I had a thing for much older men: Harrison Ford, Denzel Washington, early Val Kilmer, yes to Sean Bean, early Russell of course, went through a misguided Keanu Reeves (??) phase, Josh Holloway will do in a pinch.

Never saw the appeal of Cruise/Pitt/Costner/Hanks et al...

[lilah]

Wow, this guy seems like a very classic Nice Guy . My guess is that he never actually asks women out and expects them to come to him to him, or else he is creepy in some way. I have no sympathy for guys who sit around feeling sorry for themselves and feeling like they're entitled to women.

Thank you!!!! I hate So-called Nice Guy Entitlement Syndrome. I used to make the mistake of going after so-called nice guys but most of them were just assholes with titanic sized egos and a huge sense of entitlement. I've found that genuinely nice people don't need to go on and on about how nice they are. They can demonstrate their character via their actions.

I also think that those so-called nice guys consciously or subconsciously go after women who they know are going to reject them so they can continue to say how great they are and how women don't want them. If you constantly find yourself in the same pattern of rejection, perhaps the problem isn't dozens of women rejecting you, the problem is you.

[dcmhejbl62]

Ugh, this sounds cheesy, but I lost my lust for celebrities when I married my (second) husband. True story. I feel a little silly even admitting it!

That said, who IS the guy who played the aunt's love interest in the movie Beezus and Ramona? Way too young for me, but that's the first time in a looong time I looked forward to each next scene hoping he'd be in it, lol.

When I was younger I had a thing for Kevin Costner, until he cheated on his wife.

Most of my other lust interests were musicians or athletes, not so much for the movie stars. Best kissers in the world are brass players. Guitar players have great hands. Just so ya know... ;)

[Shirley MacLaine]

Oh yeah, there are tons of bangable musicians and athletes. I mean, I'd probably bang... basically any professional soccer player.

[duplessis3]

I'd have dinner with John Barrowman, but not with Capt Jack. Something bad would happen during it.

No fellow Ben Bernanke lovers? Where are the bears when you need them?

(FUnny story : I was watching a movie with a friend of mine and said "Oh, that actor is DREAMY." She said "He looks just like your husband...I guess we know your type."

[Black Aliss]

Fair enough. Thank you for answering. What scenes from what films do you find Alan Rickman sexiest in? Snape scenes, or other films, and if so, which?

Col. Brandon, who certainly fits the "nice guy" part.

[Terrie]

Like many others, I'm skeptical of someone who call himself a "nice guy." Mainly because they tend to complain about what's wrong with women that we're not lining up outside their door. Because it's our fault or something that we're not fitting into his life plan or something. Also, I have issues with anyone who talks about how women claim they want one thing but always end up dating "bad boys." I find such attitudes EXTREMELY unattractive. I mean, my favorite Alan Rickman role? A toss up between the Metatron in Dogma (witty, sarcastic, and still empathetic) or The Colonel in Sense and Sensibility (intelligent, caring and generous).

[IrishRose]

I'd have dinner with John Barrowman, but not with Capt Jack. Something bad would happen during it.

Exactly! Weevils or Daleks or something would show up.

[IrishRose]

aerynoctober wrote:

Fair enough. Thank you for answering. What scenes from what films do you find Alan Rickman sexiest in? Snape scenes, or other films, and if so, which?

Col. Brandon, who certainly fits the "nice guy" part.

Definitely!

[debrand]

I think there's a big difference between fantasizing about someone and actually being willing to have sex with that person. I don't know if anyone else here is watching Game of Thrones, but I am currently nursing a big ol' stupid crush on Theon Greyjoy:

Right now he's kind of a jerk who frequents prostitutes and sexually harasses servant women and (spoiler alert?) is WAY MORE of a dick later in the series. And every time his weird face shows up I want to get him under a pile of furs and see just how soon winter is coming.*

However, I have known men in real life who were far lesser jerks and I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole. The boys and men I've dated have been lovely, respectful people to the very last one, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Fantasies are just that, fantasies. I bet your friend also finds people attractive who don't live up to his ideals, either.

The question is more, "Why do we fantasize about jerks?" I think for a lot of women, it's because we wouldn't ever date them.

*I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself with that joke. I know he's not even a Stark.

I like a lot of men in that show. Jon Snow is handsome and makes me happy in a way that a man my oldest son's age should not. And I would like to formally thank HBO for showing Theon Greyjoy in full frontal nudity. Whew!

Its a little humorous to hear a man complaining about women viewing attractive men. Traditionally, it has been accepted by society that men like looking at sexy women. When women do the same, there are complaints that we aren't looking at the right types of men. That is funny

By the way, I married a sweet, nice guy who adores me. The feeling is mutual.

[Avalondaughter]

I hate "House" and "Harry Potter" and I don't find Alan Rickman attractive at all.

When I see a movie or TV with a guy I just want for a boyfriend really badly, I can assure you it's never the bad boy - or at least very rarely. Hell, I had major lust for Al Gore when he first came into the VEEP office in 1992. I think as rougish as it gets was how I felt for Timothy Dalton as Rochester after the 1983 BBC miniseries of Jane Eyre.

[Patsy]

Because it's our fault or something that we're not fitting into his life plan or something.

If the main thing you can offer the people you want to date, is that you expect them to ALL orient their lives to fall into the pattern you desire - with no pay-off from you, except that you can bitch about how it doesn't happen - then you're not half as "nice" as you think you are.

[julie paradox]

I like AR in Galaxy Quest (yeah, despite the prosthetics) and An Awfully Big Adventure (his entrance made me slide off the sofa).

My major crush is David Tennant who from interviews appears to be a thoroughly decent chap (if a little too prone to finding the digestive system humourous). I have a photo of him aged 22 which looks scarily similar to one of my husband at the same sort of age ;-)

I agree that it's a real pain to feel Responsible for one's partner's happiness and validity.

[eohiken]

So who does Mr Nice Guy masturbate to? Homely smart women with good personalities?

[VodouDoll]

Col. Brandon, who certainly fits the "nice guy" part.

Col. Brandon is the only character where I've thought Alan Rickman was hot. That voice! Reading the poetry to Marianne as she recuperates! Be still my heart. Are there really people who think AR is attractive as Snape? He's so pale and weird-looking. Honestly, even people who may think House or Snape are attractive to look at (really?) wouldn't want to actually be in relationships with them. House is an obnoxious, cruel drug addict. Snape bullies children and is still obsessed with high school even though he's middle aged and is in the wizard equivalent of the Klan. Neither character is a prize by any stretch of the imagination.

In my opinion, Christian Bale is the best-looking actor. I've thought so since Newsies. It depresses me a little when he uglies himself up for roles. But even Christian Bale has nothing on 1960s-era Clint Eastwood.

[keen23]

I have a thing for the somewhat geeky boys. Johnny Galecki has always done it for me, from the time he was on Roseanne to his current role on Big Bang Theory. Wil Wheaton is another one that I've adored since I was younger. And when Wil made a guest appearance on Big Bang, OMG, swoon! I love Neil Patrick Harris as well, no matter that I lack the genitalia that gets him going.

[fundiefan]

I have a long standing love of Alan Rickman, long before he was known as Snape. Not many people have ever understood my love for him so when he started being raved about here I felt a great kinship because, finally, someone understood!

Brad Pitt cheated on his wife. He shacked up with someone while still married but also lied about it, claiming for over a year that they weren't together, then that they only got together after he left his wife, then she popped the cork and admitted they hooked up while he was still in his marriage.

Tom Cruise is an ignorant crazy man. He isn't an example of great parenting either. He isn't an example of anything, really.

I agree with Terrie. I'm leery of men who identify themselves as the 'nice guy'. The ones I know, personally, who believe that (or at least say that) about themselves are actually pretty narcissistic. "I'm such a nice guy and she is being such a bitch to me. It's all her fault because she doesn't recognize what a nice guy I am".

[sugaree]

Okay, I've skimmed through this thread, but just in case no one's mentioned this yet, Hugh Laurie has been married to the mother of his three children for the past 22 years, and while Alan Rickman has no children, he's been with the same woman (a politician and economist) since 1965. Much better relationship track records than either Cruise or Pitt.

Tell your friend that that's what's sexy.

[Artemis]

Not all Nice Guys are fake. I married one who is a genuine nice guy, like Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon.

My nice guy went to a work do once and came home smashed, and very late. As he staggered in at the door, having fumbled with the key for five minutes, and looked fondly and drunkenly at me sitting on the stairs, reading, he said words to the effect of 'You think I'm shexy don't you?

I solemnly agreed that yes, I did (which I do), trying to choke back the giggles as he was turning quite green, and the being smashed was so out of character. As he draped himself round me and I escorted him tenderly to the bathroom, he stopped, looked deep into my eyes and slurred 'Why is it all women ever want to do with me is tell me their shad life shtoriesh? That'sh all I've done all evening, lishten to shad life shtoriesh . . .''

'Because you're a Nice Guy' I told him, before he took himself into the bathroom and lay on the floor clutching the toilet bowl. I had to go away for a bit so he didn't hear me laughing, because a) he was really ill, and b) I felt a bit sorry for him having spent the entire evening being a listening ear. (I knew the woman who was doing all the talking.)

He's a genuine nice guy. Women treat him like their brother, or their uncle or, heaven forbid but it certainly happens with his younger female colleagues, their father. They tell him their life stories, ask advice about boyfriends, moan about problems. He'd love to be a Willoughby, hot, daring, devilishly sexy, but no, he's a Colonel Brandon, tender, caring, conscientious. Some men just are. Maybe your friend IS a genuine nice guy who just hasn't found the right girl.

My Nice Guy was 36 when he found me and I found him. (I'm 10 years younger.) There is always hope :)

[oscar]

Hm, I was under the impression that people here post Alan Rickman and Hugh Laurie because people here post Alan Rickman and Hugh Laurie - that is, for some of us, it is done tongue-in-cheek as a nod to the customs and traditions of the board, and not because we find them particularly desirable.