Making Kids Tithe

[Witsec7]

I tithe in a very odd hippy pay it forward way. Its got nothing to do with a church needing money to convert some heathens. Its got to do with me having more at times when I know others have less. Usually the money will go to an organization in my community that has served me when I needed it. There are times when I tithe to an individual via an intermediary so that my contribution remains anonymous. I don't tithe a straight 10% off the top of my income, but give when my budget allows or when I have a windfall. At the end of the year when I tote it all up it usually comes to 10%.

I have given my last $ to someone more than once was never surprised when it came back to me in multiples. These events never gave me faith in a deity but did renew my faith in my fellow humans.

riffle

[liltwinstar]

I had to pay tithe as a kid on the money my grandparents would give me. To be fair, my parents paid 10% tithe on their gross income, too, so they weren't making me do something they wouldn't do. They also didn't have enough to cover necessities, sometimes, but they believed that God would provide, and to their credit, we never did go hungry (well, not because of financial issues, anyway).

I get angry because it seems so much of tithe money is given to church maintenance. I don't have a problem with paying pastors/priests a living wage - after all, if you take advantage of their services, you should pay for that. Also, I think all people should be paid a living wage :) But I do have a problem with paying tons of money to maintain a giant building that is used only a few times a week. Seems wasteful to me.

Um, I don't tithe any more. Mr. LTS and I try to give to causes that we feel strongly about - the local food bank, for one, and people in our community who have specific needs. For example, a woman Mr. LTS works with recently had a premature baby and the family has tons of medical and other costs because of that. We have no problem at all donating to those causes, helping buy gift cards, etc.

[Haligh the Liar]

Forcing kids to tithe is mind boggling to me! I'm not entirely sure why, it just seems...off.

Growing up Catholic, my parents gave use money for the children's envelopes, because it made us feel grown up. They also put money in the collection basket every Sunday, but to my knowledge, it is not a hard and fast forced 10%.

Too bad the Duggars aren't Muslim- the zakat tithing system works out to be about 2.5% of net worth, not just income. Also, it is mostly used for charitable spending. Although, I'm sure JB would find some way to twist it around so that his family would be the recipients of his 'charity;.

[Tanaqui]

The kids came home from Nana's house Saturday, each with $10. I have no idea why... other than the fact that they probably said they wanted $10 so Nana gave them $10! Anyway, Andrew was all excited to go to Target and buy a Lego he had seen there for $9.95. I asked him if he had more money that he was going to take with him. He said, no, just his newly acquired $10.

I told him that he would have to save a little because he did not have enough for the Lego. Perplexed, he told me... the toy is $9.95 and I have $10! I explained that tax would add 85 cents to the cost but more than that, he did not have $10. He only has $9 because he is to give God $1 of that before he spends it on anything. He then said... "Oh I was going to give my offering. I was going to buy my Lego and then give what was left over." Oh my... Charles and I (after smothering a giggle) explained that God does not want or deserve our left overs. He requires that we give to Him the first of our fruits

Is it just me, or does this story have a "Ha ha ha, tricked you! You only thought you were going to get to enjoy Grandma's gift!" feel to it? Like she had to knock Andrew down a peg because he got a gift from Nana for no reason and was excited about it.

I've got weird issues with money from growing up. I never had a steady allowance or set chores. My mother was always making deals where if I did this or that for this period of time and/or brought home certain grades for a report period I would get x amount of money. When it came time to fulfill her end of the deal she would always tell me, "that's not what I said" or "but you didn't do (new item on the list)", or "I never promised anything". I NEVER got anything from any of her deals. And she would be extremely ugly about me spending any money I earned on my own from other sources or got as gifts.

I have a difficult time discussing money with my husband because I start feeling such shame and panic anytime the topic comes up even though I've done nothing wrong.

[Itsnotaclowncar]

I've got weird issues with money from growing up. I never had a steady allowance or set chores. My mother was always making deals where if I did this or that for this period of time and/or brought home certain grades for a report period I would get x amount of money. When it came time to fulfill her end of the deal she would always tell me, "that's not what I said" or "but you didn't do (new item on the list)", or "I never promised anything". I NEVER got anything from any of her deals. And she would be extremely ugly about me spending any money I earned on my own from other sources or got as gifts.

I have a difficult time discussing money with my husband because I start feeling such shame and panic anytime the topic comes up even though I've done nothing wrong.

I think we have the same mother. I usually got the "you didn't do X good enough/long enough/to my exact specifications that I didn't bother to communicate." I used to feel guilty about every dollar I spent (even for necessities) and over the last year or so progressed to only feeling guilty about things that are for me even if I need them. I keep putting off buying new running shoes, my old ones are shot, but I don't feel like sitting with the guilt for a week+.

[Tanaqui]

I think we have the same mother. I usually got the "you didn't do X good enough/long enough/to my exact specifications that I didn't bother to communicate." I used to feel guilty about every dollar I spent (even for necessities) and over the last year or so progressed to only feeling guilty about things that are for me even if I need them. I keep putting off buying new running shoes, my old ones are shot, but I don't feel like sitting with the guilt for a week+.

I am just the same about shopping. My husband has to assure me that it's okay to spend $2 on a used book and after we bought my engagement ring, I felt sick to my stomach for several days because we spent $600 on it, despite my husband telling me A. he was prepared to spend much more and that it made less of an impact on his bank account since it was in US money, and B. it was majorly on sale.

My dad is still a bit resentful of the way my mother handled things, but since he was so often out of the country on business trips, he wasn't able to rein her in during my childhood.

I'm really sorry you've had such a similar experience, I hope you continue to improve and gain confidence in your right and ability to control your own money.

[slickcat79]

Also, sorry to double post, but I don't really consider giving to churches charitable giving for the most part. Most of it doesn't go to helping others. It's like NPR: i give them money because i listen all the time, and i have the cash, but even though I like the tax deduction, it's not "charity" in the sense of "helping others", it's more like membership fees for a club, or tickets to the theater. When I attend church, I drop some money in the plate, and I pay dues to the pagan church I belong to, but it's more quid pro quo.

I agree. I'd like to encourage my (hypothetical) kids to give to charity at times, especially if they found something that they really felt connected to. But to me that's very separate from a church offering or tithe. In my mind, giving to the church is paying for a service that you enjoy.