Making Kids Tithe

[debrand]

I was curious as to your opinions? Lots of parents make their children save a portion of their money. However, the kids eventually get that money back. Tithing is supposed to be a free will act, isn't it? So, I don't understand how a parent can require a child to tithe.

http://ciraweeks.blogspot.com/

The kids came home from Nana's house Saturday, each with $10. I have no idea why... other than the fact that they probably said they wanted $10 so Nana gave them $10! Anyway, Andrew was all excited to go to Target and buy a Lego he had seen there for $9.95. I asked him if he had more money that he was going to take with him. He said, no, just his newly acquired $10.

I told him that he would have to save a little because he did not have enough for the Lego. Perplexed, he told me... the toy is $9.95 and I have $10! I explained that tax would add 85 cents to the cost but more than that, he did not have $10. He only has $9 because he is to give God $1 of that before he spends it on anything. He then said... "Oh I was going to give my offering. I was going to buy my Lego and then give what was left over." Oh my... Charles and I (after smothering a giggle) explained that God does not want or deserve our left overs. He requires that we give to Him the first of our fruits

Tithing is an issue that I admit I have some bitterness over. Maybe that is irrational or unfair. At one point, I tithed and trusted god to supply my family's needs. Things did not go well. My kids didn't get needed shoes, bills didn't automatically get paid and food wasn't suddenly supplied to us. I still feel resentful about the guilt trip that other Christians gave me when I put my family's needs first

How often to I pay all of my bills and THEN write my check to the church?

You should pay your bills first! That is not extra money. Providing your kids with water, food and shelter is more important than paying your church.

[Kitty]

My parents refused to tithe. They'd give a few bucks at the offering plate, but that's it. The reason they left the last church we went to was the constant money-grubbing, and money was a bit tight then so it's not like they had just 10% of their income lying around. They still needed that money, even if it wasn't bills/food/gas/things my sister and I needed.

I'm not really sure about this, but even in the Bible, the tithe is a choice, right? Some people simply can't do it.

[emmiedahl]

Aren't you supposed to pay 10% of your increase according to the Bible? That is different from 10% of your income.

I wonder if this is why JB home-churches. Do it yourself and save the difference!

My children have been doing odd jobs for change. They are having a charity coin drive at school and the kids want to help out the cause so much. So they are earning change with odd jobs. It won't come to much, but they are so happy they can make a difference. I encourage these social impulses, but I would never force them to give.

[Deleted10]

When I was little, I had these tiny offering envelopes that I got from Sunday school. I would usually put 50 cents or a buck in there.

[Guest Anonymous]

In my church "giving" (as we call it) voluntary, and children aren't expected to put anything in the collection plate. But I do know some parents will tell there children to put a small amount in the plate and explains to them that the money they just gave is going to help people. My parents never made me or my sister do that though.

[GrapeSlushie]

I grew up Seventh Day Adventist and my parents never actually made me tithe, but they did lay down guilt trips and assumed an attitude that was basically "Fine, but if you don't tithe you're a disappointment to God." I still remember reading a story in my little Sabbath School reader about a girl who wanted to spend her allowance money on a new yo-yo and got a stern talking-to from her mother about how she was being selfish to not give "all she has" to God. I definitely do not think that children should be forced to tithe because, as you said, it should be a voluntary act. They can be taught about tithing and make the decision when they're older. It is also plain irresponsible to teach kids that tithing should come before paying for the things that they actually need to survive.

Thinking on this, the quoted bits in the OP remind me of my aunt's attitude toward money when her kids were small. She was not very financially stable to begin with, and a significant portion of any money she did make always went to the church. She always said that "God will provide" the things she needed. Needless to say, she was constantly in dire financial straits and was constantly asking to borrow money for things like rent and tuition for the Adventist school she sent her kids to. It's this attitude that God wants people to suffer in order to prove how much they love Him that drives me absolutely batty. :?

[debrand]

Aren't you supposed to pay 10% of your increase according to the Bible? That is different from 10% of your income.

I wonder if this is why JB home-churches. Do it yourself and save the difference!

My children have been doing odd jobs for change. They are having a charity coin drive at school and the kids want to help out the cause so much. So they are earning change with odd jobs. It won't come to much, but they are so happy they can make a difference. I encourage these social impulses, but I would never force them to give.

My pastor in Iowa told us that we should tithe off our gross income. He said that the bible wanted our first fruits and that meant BEFORE taxes. um...no.

There is a verse in the Old Testament that states that a shepherd should hold out a rod and every tenth sheep(or goat) that goes under the rod should be part of the tithe. I always thought that meant god didn't expect the shephard with nine sheep(or goats) to tithe. Which would mean that the very poor shouldn't have to tithe. There are also bible verses that state every few years the tithe is supposed to go to the poor.

If Christians are going to follow Old Testament laws on tithing, they should follow all the laws on tithing.

[tropaka]

In reading the OP I am wondering if the grandma who gave the money would be pissed if she knew daughter or DIL clawed back 10 percent to give to a church. Parts of allowance or a bit of change as a lesson, sure, but gifts?

[Kelya]

Giving comes from the excess, not the primary funds, and when you're a child all your needs are covered (theoretically and hopefully), so anything you have is excess, and I think a small child won't be able to grasp the difference between "you're giving one dollar because all your needs and most of your wants are taken care of, so you have this extra money" and "give blindly!"

When they're 8 or 9 I might suggest that a child with excess cash consider donating a portion, like if a lemonade stand nets 75 dollars, why not give 10 to the school's fundraising drive/animal shelter/whatever? but I'd never force them, and if they'd earned the money for something specific, I'd never make them redirect their funds. Instilling charity and compassion in a child is the goal, and that won't be accomplished by forced giving or giving out of a sense of obligation.

When the offering plate at Mass was sent around, some adult always handed me a dollar or two. It was never "hand over the two dollars a week you get, kid! its for Jesus!"

[GrapeSlushie]

In reading the OP I am wondering if the grandma who gave the money would be pissed if she knew daughter or DIL clawed back 10 percent to give to a church. Parts of allowance or a bit of change as a lesson, sure, but gifts?

If I were the kid in the OP, I would not tell my mother anymore whenever I got a monetary gift. It would seriously grind my gears if EVERY little bit of money I acquired had to be filtered through tithing first.

[Rachel333]

I don't think my parents made me tithe, but it was definitely encouraged. I was allowed to give to other worthy causes, not just to the church. I haven't tithed in a long time, and I don't recall my younger siblings ever tithing, so my parents must have eased up on that. I really don't agree with making kids tithe.

[uber frau]

Tithing is a pretty normal part of conservative Christianity. Lots of ppl do it.

I'm not Christian anymore but I do believe in helping out other ppl. We have decided that our seven year old daughter's pocket money will be split into three parts-one part to spend, one to save, one for gifts-but the 'giving' part is above what she would get otherwise. It's more about teaching her about giving than taking anything away from her and I would never make her give away part of a gift though. That's meant for her.

[CanadianHippie]

Wait, they went to visit Nana and mom has no clue why she gave them money? That's what Nanas do isn't it? It's what mine does. Heck, last time I went to visit my Grandma, I was 26 and she still wanted to give me money.

Also, I think it's BS that they require their kids to tithe. They are children, not adult members of the church and they shouldn't be held to the same standards as adults in that respect. I certainly don't think tithing should be required. Charity isn't charity if it's forced.

[FJismyheadship]

Acts 15 28 "it seemedphone to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals, and from sexual immorality." that is what the bible says about the gentiles. We dont have to follow any other rules. All of moses' laws dont apply. Gemvile believers have a different pdu of rules than jewish. So on you font HAVE to tithe.

[Rosa]

My parents always gave us money to put in the offering plate, it was part of getting ready for church.

My partner's parents did tithe, but they never talked about it, so my partner isn't really committed to charitable giving, and it bothers me.

But I don't want to do forced savings or forced giving. I want my son to learn the consequences of not saving (not having enough money for large purchases) and I want him to *want* to give. We've been going to a lot of Occupy Homes stuff lately, and he wanted to give money to one of the homeowners, but they're not asking for money right now, so I let him add his money to my Kiva loan this month instead.

(also he only wanted to donate 10 cents and that's not actually a great gift...it would be if he only had 10 cents but he has like $8 right now. But, it's a start.)

[Rosa]

Also, sorry to double post, but I don't really consider giving to churches charitable giving for the most part. Most of it doesn't go to helping others. It's like NPR: i give them money because i listen all the time, and i have the cash, but even though I like the tax deduction, it's not "charity" in the sense of "helping others", it's more like membership fees for a club, or tickets to the theater. When I attend church, I drop some money in the plate, and I pay dues to the pagan church I belong to, but it's more quid pro quo.

[ladypuglover]

Like Rosa's folks my folks also gave us money to put into the offering. My mom would spray my hankercheif with my favorite perfume of hers and then give me a few coins. One for Sunday school and one for the main church service. Then she would torture the hell out of me by doing my hair while I screamed bloody murder from the pain of putting a pixie cut into pig tails. I never was told that I had to use my own money but I would get into trouble if I tried to keep the money for myself.

[dawbs]

when I'd visit grandma, she'd give me the $ plus tithe...although that says more about my grandma than it does about my parents' tithing rules :)

[PokaDot]

Growing up I gave tithing on my allowance. I think I did for a few of my first jobs too, but I've never been that good about it. I was taught it was a "commandment".

I'm still pretty bad about it. But I don't go to church all that regularly. But I still get lectured by my mom about it, which...often leads to arguments (because, frankly, it's none of her frakkin' business), and then we don't talk for months. :doh:

[1004srs]

5% to the church. 5% to another charity.

I give my DD a dollar week to take up for a Children's offering. THe little kids go up front and socialize for a minute and put their dollars in a basket. It is actually kind of cute.

If I can't make my tithe, I do the church first.

We are on scholarship at our Catholic school this year. SO, I feel I have to tithe.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't know the specifics of how Christian tithing works. We do have a similar concept in Judaism, though, where you are supposed to give around 10% of your after-tax income to charity (although not if it would result in you not being able to meet basic needs - sometimes, charity literally does begin at home).

I happen to like the concept of teaching small children to make giving a habit. They usually start by giving 3 yr olds pennies, specifically to put in the charity tins. They also put cans in the food bank boxes, collect for various causes and do fundraisers. Getting them in the habit of donating a portion of income makes sense, because it will feel natural to them and they'll learn to plan to spend only 90%. At this stage, they aren't supporting a family and it's an easier lesson to learn.

As kids get older, they can also learn about various charities and be involved in choosing which ones to support. This is actually part of the curriculum at my kids' school: http://www.projectgiveback.com/index.php

[kb2]

Tithing is an issue that I admit I have some bitterness over. Maybe that is irrational or unfair. At one point, I tithed and trusted god to supply my family's needs. Things did not go well. My kids didn't get needed shoes, bills didn't automatically get paid and food wasn't suddenly supplied to us. I still feel resentful about the guilt trip that other Christians gave me when I put my family's needs first.

Oh, the idea that if you tithe all your other needs will be provided was pushed HARD when I was growing up in the church. I remember reading some church-provided story about a kid who wanted a record player (because church stories are perpetually written by, um, not young people), and he saved all his money, and then he realized he had to tithe, and so he did, which meant he had less money than the record player cost, but then he went to the store and the record player was on sale! For exactly the amount of money he had! So God provided him the record player for tithing!

I am really, really sorry that your family was hurt by the advertising tithing gets. Christians can really be such hypocrites about money. They act like *everyone* tithes, and then only 4-7% of Americans actually give 10% or more of their income. Someone gets their hearts set on some church project, and then feel entitled to other people's financial contributions to get their plan done. I've seen people get huffy that they can't fulfill God's Plan on the budget that those other people are imposing, with no consideration to the sacrifice those other people are making/have made/will make in the future. I don't think it's irrational to be bitter.

http://www.barna.org/donorscause-articl ... ?q=tithing

[BlackHawk]

We had to start tithing after we became a church nenber. In my church that is typically around 9. Since i got an allowance my mother would sit down with my sibling and me and we would use it as an at home math lesson. As a kid it was fun to get my tithing envelopes... they had my name on them.

[Alecto]

As a child, I started tithing as soon as I got an allowance. It was kind of a built in, automatic thing, though to be fair, my parents gave me enough that it really didn't take away from it. Under the age of 13, I got $10 a week, a dollar I was suppose to tithe, and $3 I was supposed to put in long term savings. The rest was mine to save or spend as I wanted.

[mockingbird]

My church (Catholic) even had envelopes for kids. They were handed out at Sunday School/PSR. But I think they were every month instead of every week for the adults. When I had an allowance I had to tithe. I think I got like $5/month and had to save $1 and tithe $1. I never had to tithe gift money though, my parents always saw it as a gift so you could do whatever you want with it, whereas the allowance was "earned" through chores. My parents were inconsistent with allowance though and I don't even think my siblings ever got one. They would just give us a dollar or two for the kids' envelopes if we weren't doing allowance that month. My church had a school which I went to so I could "see" where my money could go. I don't think it was bad, but they were never legalistic about it and even then it was a small amount. I think my parents thought they were just helping us to set good habits in which some of our money would be spent on others. I don't think it's bad to encourage donating money in general but maybe give choices of where the money could go to and not force them to give it to the church?

Edit: You didn't/don't have to tithe to belong to my church. The priests will get up on the pulpit and basically beg for money to fix the roof or something, and they pressure you by making personalized envelopes, but if you can't nobody goes after you personally.