"Remember the Good Old Days?" - Jacqueline

[Clementine]

Now who would like the chip in to buy her a one way ticket to Afghanistan?

LOL! Brilliant Sola!! :clap:

[uber frau]

And if if you were in a well off family sometimes. Whatever happened to Rosemary Kennedy? I know she didn't have a physical disability but they hid her away. Maybe I'm not going far enough back in time. Anyway I agree. The good old days were awful.

Rosemary Kennedy had a moderate learning disability and, when she began to become aggressive and suffer mood swings, underwent a pre-frontal lobotomy. Some more recent study has concluded that it is entirely possible her aggression and mood swings were a result of frustration at having to hide her learning disabilities in a highly visible, high achieving family.

[2xx1xy1JD]

And if if you were in a well off family sometimes. Whatever happened to Rosemary Kennedy? I know she didn't have a physical disability but they hid her away. Maybe I'm not going far enough back in time. Anyway I agree. The good old days were awful.

Forgot to add that!

Yes, in the "good ole days", my grandmother's half-sister who suffered a brain injury during homebirth was sent for "treatment" in Europe...where she was murdered thanks to her mother's brother in the SS who thought that a mentally handicapped, half-Jewish niece was a blot on the master race.

Domestically, locking up anyone with a developmental delay in institutions for life while the families were told to forget that their children ever existed was pretty routine.

[Sola]

I decided to reply to her post, though I'll bet it wont see the light of day.

"Ah yes, the good old days!

Where women didn't have the right to vote!

Where disabled children were locked away in institutions!

Where people died from illnesses which are easily treated today!

Where children had rickets from lack of vitamin D!

Where women were treated as less than a man, had no divorce rights, even if he beat her to within an inch of her life!

Where black people had to use separate bathrooms, entrances, buses and could be denied their human rights simply because they were black!

Where Native Americans were taken from their families and 'educated' in residential schools to be 'good Christians'!

Where women and babies died in childbirth every day for want of medical care!

Those good old days! Weren't they just fabulous! Tell you what, why don't you move over to Afghanistan? I've heard that many of the things that you value are available right now, over there. Or you know, you could be thankful that you live in a first world country, where you have the freedom and rights to be able to make a post criticising that very society that gives you those rights. "

[margiebargie]

You don't sound heartless at all. It's that little, twit blogger who sounds heartless. She has no clue what it takes to care for an aging family member. I see it as my responsibilty to see that my dad/in-laws receive good care - not to personally provide it - which would be logistically impossible.

[Clementine]

I know I sound heartless, and that's not my intent... it's just that sometimes there are things that are beyond our abilities. I know that people struggle with this, and that the "sandwich generation" is a reality...but crapping on people who make difficult but necessary decisions isn't the way to ease the situation.

No, you don't sound heartless, you sound sane. I personally think that it's insane to expect anybody to care for an elderly relative at home if they can't live on their own anymore. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's disease for six years before she passed away and when we took her to my parent's house to visit us every now and then, it was like looking after a two year old... only with much better motorical skills and the ability to open doors and run away. Somebody had to be next to her all the time, every minute, to make sure that she didn't start the stove, opened the taps and forgot to close them, went outside and "disappeared" somewhere into a garden in our neighbourhood so it was impossible to find her, go to the toilet and removed her diapers, fall from the stairs, opened all the cupboards and put all the things inside on the floor.

We also had to show her how to eat and lift the coffee cup to her lips.

At the nursing home, she never slept more than a few hours per night, but just walked around in the corridors who luckily were locked so she couldn't escape.

She probably would have killed herself and my parent's who are close to 70 if she had lived with them all the time. I just don't see how one family can provide the proper care without burning out very quickly if the relative need help or being watched over around the clock.

[ilovetchotchkes]

She's updated in response to some of the comments received. Its at the bottom.

deeprootsathome.com/?p=13633

[freejoytoo]

It kills me when people harp on about the fifties. Ah yes, what a wonderful time, where your husband could rape you, you could only ever aspire to be a housewife or mother and, until you were married, could only work as a nurse or teacher,never a doctor and would have to give it up if you did get married, where you were only treated properly if you were white and male, where you had no real reproductive rights...

I could go on! I actually debated this with my friend and she conceded that I was right and the sixties were better!

[Dinorah]

Is that the "retro culture" blogger? I don't know how you can write sentences like "instead of the internet, a private letter or card" on several different websites and not see the irony. You can't have your cake and eat it-if the internet's so horrible, don't use it because it's convenient to spread your propaganda. Why doesn't she take her own advice and journal instead of blog?

Another thing that bothers me to no end--do fundies really think that schools and teachers are some newfangled invention and that before 1950s or so everyone was homeschooled by their parents? Because, last time I checked, the Romans had schools.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm laughing at the swimming pool comment. I picked up an archaeological guide to Masada in December, and King Herod apparently built a swimming pool there - over 2,000 years ago!

[sugaree]

Well, my problem with Jacqueline's ramblings here is the fact that she has no idea of what time period she's trying to categorize as the "good old days." She's lumping all sorts of stuff together. Much of what she writes of sounds like she's idealizing the 50s, or the first half of the 20th century, but by that point, we had mass media, shopping centers, nursing homes, more residential institutions than we have today, lots of cheap restaurants and convenience foods, and schools for everybody. So, go back in time far enough to the point where there are few kindergartens or schools, and that phrase doesn't end with a "- homeschooling," it ends with an "- illiteracy." And then you don't have the population journaling, writing private letters or cards, or cultivating a love for the solitude of reading (which, btw, was not always a solitary activity for the lucky few who could read back in medieval and Renn-era times), because no one knew how to do so. Also, cards had not been invented at that point.

And this:

….instead of shopping at the mall- sewing and knitting (or going to the thrift store).

Isn't a thrift store just as much of a modern concept as a mall? Were the Ingells browsing at the Little Goodwill on the Prairie? Did Ann Boleyn find her fetching French-style hoods at Ye Old Salvatione Army?

So basically, Jacqueline doesn't want any return to any "good old day"; she's writing out a blueprint for some "bright new day" laid out to fundie ideals. Ideals which she couldn't even live up to: I don't really know this person much, but I'll bet that she would wail and weep and gnash her teeth were she to be forced to give up her blog and restrict all her awesome thoughts to her journal and the ears of her family.

[kittypie]

"She should be worried, instead, about the utter rot that consumes the leaders of her faith."

:clap:

[kittypie]

But...but...they had laudanum back then!

[tropaka]

I would like to throw people who have these fuzzy, idealized and incorrect longings into a situation like 1900 house, or better yet, 1800 farm - and not as the lady of the manor, but the scullery or dairy maid. The 50's, as pointed out, wasn't rural tranquility - we had car culture, subdivisions, dishwashers....I think they like the idea of frilly outfits and staying home but would really miss things like, um, running water, electricity, the interwebz....

[dawn9476]

It is really sad how these people have a romantic view of Pioneer days. It wasn't all hearts and flowers and I sure that today's wannabe pioneers have the real pioneers rolling in their graves.

[jenny_islander]

Let's restrict the Good Old Days to the 1950s, shall we?

In the Good Old Days, the friend who is responsible for getting me together with my husband for the talk that led us to become a couple in the first place would get to look at signs everywhere informing her that people of her color were not allowed into the establishment.

In the Good Old Days, if we got to go to high school at all, our sociology textbook would trot out basic economic and demographic figures for our nation and add nonchalantly at the end of the chapter that of course people of my friend's color were not part of the statistics. Also she would have endured an elementary school education in which she would be beaten for speaking to her own brother because everybody knows that those people are so stupid they commit incest at the drop of a hat.

In the Good Old Days, I would be well on my way to a widow's hump.

In the Good Old Days, I might very well be blind by now. I have to wear wraparound sunglasses on bright days because I have an exaggerated squint reflex. Because I must not squint, the glasses have to be made of UV-blocking material to avoid damage to my eyes. I have to wear a powerful prescription beneath the sunglasses because my eyes are, basically, 20 years older than the rest of me.

In the Good Old Days, the only OB/GYN in town liked to grope his clients while they were strapped into the stirrups for an exam. Yes, people in our town know about this. No, he was never prosecuted. His victims must have asked for it, being women and all. Also his dad gave a lot of money to public works, so that excused everything.

In the Good Old Days, AKA the Cold War, my town was a military target. I live in a house with an attached bomb shelter.

In the Good Old Days, my mother-in-law ran the bunkhouse for a remote cannery operation all summer and worked 12-hour shifts as a nurse in winter. And nobody blinked. White-collar husbands had wives who sat around crocheting doilies. Everyone else worked. Because that was how you survived.

[mstee]

Isn't a thrift store just as much of a modern concept as a mall? Were the Ingells browsing at the Little Goodwill on the Prairie? Did Ann Boleyn find her fetching French-style hoods at Ye Old Salvatione Army?

:lol: :lol: :clap: :clap:

[ilovetchotchkes]

I decided to reply to her post, though I'll bet it wont see the light of day.

"Ah yes, the good old days!

Where women didn't have the right to vote!

Where disabled children were locked away in institutions!

Where people died from illnesses which are easily treated today!

Where children had rickets from lack of vitamin D!

Where women were treated as less than a man, had no divorce rights, even if he beat her to within an inch of her life!

Where black people had to use separate bathrooms, entrances, buses and could be denied their human rights simply because they were black!

Where Native Americans were taken from their families and 'educated' in residential schools to be 'good Christians'!

Where women and babies died in childbirth every day for want of medical care!

Those good old days! Weren't they just fabulous! Tell you what, why don't you move over to Afghanistan? I've heard that many of the things that you value are available right now, over there. Or you know, you could be thankful that you live in a first world country, where you have the freedom and rights to be able to make a post criticising that very society that gives you those rights. "

Its still up there (your comment) :D and she did respond with an edited entry. She said she was being tongue and cheek about it, and that she doesn't really desire to go back to the "good ol days".

Unlike other people we've all snarked on, she's at least reading and publishing the differing opinion and actually thinking about them instead of attacking us and calling us "hags".

[Antigone]

The good old days were still around when I was tiny. The hospital wanted my parents to sign away their rights and put me into an institution because they SAID that I would never function beyond a 3-year old.. if they were LUCKY. The only problem I had was the fact I became deaf after a high fever that possibly, could have, caused SOME brain damage.

Luckily, my parents decided to opt for the more rational route and see what was available for children with hearing loss in the 1980's. They were surprised to find that they could have sent me to a school for the deaf, or heaven forbid, a nearby Day school with a program. My grandmother eventually confessed to my parents that she had a brother they had locked up back in the 40s/50s, and by the 1980s they eventually had him tested and found out that the only problem the poor guy had was that he had been born profoundly deaf. By then it was way too late, and he died shortly after, anyway. I think my parents' experience made my grandma feel so guilty about her brother that she told my parents about it.

I think I much prefer my hearing aid compared to a life locked up, thanks.... :)

[Trynn]

Do these people who uplift thrift stores realize that, depending on the particular store and the area, nowadays it's almost cheaper to just buy something at the mall than Goodwill?

[CelticGoddess]

Quote:

…instead of the nursing home- family.

Yeah, good idea when granpa has Alzheimers disease and studies have shown, time after time, that the caregiver typically lives about 4 to 5 years when caring for a loved one with a serious illness like Alzheimers. It's not fun having to make sure that granpa doesn't wander out of the house at night. Caregivers typically don't get enough sleep, have increased stress and as a result have hypertension and are at an increased risk for heart attack.

And it just isn't Alzheimers that is a problem. I take care of some pretty acute residents. I have seen the results of family members trying to care for them. Out of control diabetes, wounds that aren't healing, pressure ulcers, hypertensive crisis that goes unnoticed until it's too late. And I would say 8/10 times it isn't the families fault, it is just they don't have the knowledge, education or capabilities to care for acute family members. A previous poster had it right: Sometimes the most loving thing to do is put them a good facility where they can get the care they need. After all, if the caregiver has a heart attack from all the stress, how much good is s/he going to do the elder?

[virginmojito]

here's what i believe: I have always kept good things from the past and added necessary or neat new things as time went by. I have even really really old stuff like non-electronic iron, i clean the house with very old methods: baking soda, vinegar, lavender essence. i have an iPad2, 2 androids for work, so... there's a balance between keeping good habits alive, there is also an adapting to change.

[O Latin]

here's what i believe: I have always kept good things from the past and added necessary or neat new things as time went by. I have even really really old stuff like non-electronic iron, i clean the house with very old methods: baking soda, vinegar, lavender essence. i have an iPad2, 2 androids for work, so... there's a balance between keeping good habits alive, there is also an adapting to change.

Yes, this. There are plenty of things about the past that I wouldn't want to experience, but that doesn't mean I have to reject everything that's not completely 21st century.

What's so bad about malls? It's just a collection of stores all in one place. If she really wants to go back to the good old days she should be calling for a return to the downtown department store

[jenny_islander]

I wonder if the problem is twofold: The decor is too obviously modern and the mall is a notorious place for unsupervised encounters between teenagers. I don't like indoor malls myself because the stores are so often just national chain after national chain, but the idea of a big indoor shopping area is fantastic. Especially ATM when the wind chill is bottoming out at -30 Fahrenheit.

Department stores are probably too modern. Little country stores (that mostly got their stock via railroad from wholesale catalogs put out by great big national corporations, but never mind) are the ideal.

Aaaaand the lousy inventory in little country stores was the reason Sears, Roebuck was able to make money off its Big Book for so long, but never mind.

[Olive Plant]

And remember, in the good ole days, men wore codpieces in town and worked in the fields half-nude. So much for the supposed modesty of antiquity.

http://www.users.qwest.net/~rappleyard/ ... index.html