Anderson's doing a show on abstinence and purity balls

[O Latin]

Okay, I'm in a much better mood this morning, so hopefully I won't come off as so much of a fundie supporter. I did sort of prove all of your points with my story about the girl in class, didn't I?

I understand what everyone is saying about it being a private thing. Another story to explain why I have a bit of a soft spot for the purity movement in general: When I was a teenager, I was deeply committed to the idea of not having sex before marriage. No one I talked to about it supported this (I didn't broadcast it to the world or anything, only my parents and a few close friends knew I felt this way). It wasn't just, "Well, that's not for me, but knock yourself out." It was, "That's a bad idea and if you don't have sex before marriage X bad thing will happen." Or, "Yeah, right, you'll change your mind in the heat of the moment." Or some variation of, "What do you know, you're only 16." I was desperate for anyone to acknowledge that this was a valid choice, especially my parents. It wasn't that I wanted to pledge my virginity to them (because when I think about it after a good night's sleep, yes, that is kind of creepy). I just wanted some kind of support for a decision that I did make by myself, for myself. I would have settled for them not telling me all the reasons why it wouldn't work.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I still don't want to have sex before I'm married. It's not a religious thing, because I don't think God gives a rat's rear end what anyone does in the bedroom. I don't care if every other person on the planet is having sex outside of marriage five times a day. I don't think there's anything wrong with pre-marital sex, I just don't want to do it.

Stupid people will try to pry into anyone's affairs. I think all the advice here about telling them to mind their own business is great. I find "I'm not obliged to satisfy your idle curiosity" works well because stupid people take a while to figure that one out.

That's awesome! I'm not sure I could actually say it without giggling, though.

[lilwriter85]

What bothers me about purity pledges is it takes something that's supposed to be private, and makes it public. It's no one's business but your own if you're having sex, and it's equally no one's business but your own if you aren't.

Also having your parents that interested in your sex life is creepy. If you need your parents to validate whatever choice you're making in terms of sex, then it isn't entirely your choice.

I agree it is making a private thing public. In my previous, I mentioned a friend who was a youth pastor who was apart of purity vow retreat and he even said that he disagreed with the event to an extent.

[dawn9476]

Integrity Balls are equally sexist because those boys are taught to think of it as them defiling as a person's wife and not from the point that by having sex with a girl, she could be harmed emotionally and mentality.

[stacyf]

When I was a teenager, I was deeply committed to the idea of not having sex before marriage. No one I talked to about it supported this (I didn't broadcast it to the world or anything, only my parents and a few close friends knew I felt this way). It wasn't just, "Well, that's not for me, but knock yourself out." It was, "That's a bad idea and if you don't have sex before marriage X bad thing will happen." Or, "Yeah, right, you'll change your mind in the heat of the moment."

I guess what I do not understand about this is why you have this need to tell others about this, why can't it just be a private decision you maybe share with a serious love interest. I made the decision when I was a teen and did not have sex until I was 23 and in a very serious relationship. My reasons weren't religious or based on some pledge, I just didn't want babies or diseases. I really never shared it with anyone except maybe the few boys I dated in HS and college and to them I just said "no, I am not ready". I had friends in HS having sex with their BF and with random strangers, I never really cared too much since it wasn't really any of my business. What I am trying to say is why does this decision need to be announced one way or the other?

[thoughtful]

Now I feel stupid. I can usually spot a Poe a mile away.

Never feel stupid about this. "Poe" has grown into a noun for such a parody, but never forget the source. Poe's Law states that it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.

Fundies are so bizarre that even the most ridiculous-sounding ideas can seem like something they would actually do.

[O Latin]

I guess what I do not understand about this is why you have this need to tell others about this, why can't it just be a private decision you maybe share with a serious love interest. I made the decision when I was a teen and did not have sex until I was 23 and in a very serious relationship. My reasons weren't religious or based on some pledge, I just didn't want babies or diseases. I really never shared it with anyone except maybe the few boys I dated in HS and college and to them I just said "no, I am not ready". I had friends in HS having sex with their BF and with random strangers, I never really cared too much since it wasn't really any of my business. What I am trying to say is why does this decision need to be announced one way or the other?

Well, I am the kind of person who just needs to talk about things. I don't usually make any kind of an important decision without discussing it with a variety of people first. I guess with my parents, we talked about it because they believed that parents should talk to their teenagers about sex. With friends, it's not like I announced it deliberately, it just came up in conversation (one friend in particular, we really enjoyed arguing and debating with each other so we would intentionally bring up controversial topic in order to spark an argument). I don't know, I am a talker. It's how I process things.