Bad News for Bathroom Baby

[StarrieEyedKat]

Dear Friends, even internet friends, if you ever find somewhere where someone is mocking me..please don't tell me about it. I would rather them mock me and me never know.

Yeah, I don't buy that these tattletales are trying to be "good friends" - they just like

A. Stirring up teh dramaz

B. Being the first one to "inform"

C. Trying to get everyone they possibly can pissed at us.

[synchroswimr]

Yeah, I don't buy that these tattletales are trying to be "good friends" - they just like

A. Stirring up teh dramaz

B. Being the first one to "inform"

C. Trying to get everyone they possibly can pissed at us.

Yeah, if they really wanted to be good friends, they could do it in private at least

[smores]

If it's not someone from here, I'm not surprised that one of her WB bitch "friends" is calling her out with that. Those chicks, for the most part, are all about drama.

[Mama Mia]

It could even just be one of her friends was googling her and a link to this site came up. I was trying to find the post about her keeping him in the bathroom and googled 'that wife bathroom baby" and one of these threads was near the top.

I remember once googling some random obscure topic and one of the hits was a post I had made years earlier on some forum.. it was kind of creepy

[Antigone]

Thank you! I don't have any of my info on this saved anymore, but when I was an evil working-outside-the-home woman, I worked a lot with children w/ developmental delays and used a LOT of sign, so I used to have all those statistics and facts memorized. I taught my son some signage when he was a baby and he seemed/seems to be WAY ahead of the curve on verbal language. I've started with my daughter as well.

I've been catching up on my reading on here, but couldn't resist commenting on this topic, then I'll return to my lurking for now :) Sevy has been signing since she was around 5 or 6 months old, and right now at 5, she has quite the vocabulary in BOTH languages, as well as the Spanish she learns at school. She has moments where she switches from English to Spanish, or speaks in spanish while signing (THAT makes me crazy).

ANYWAY, my point is that sign language actually makes it EASIER and QUICKER to communciate if used properly and encouraged. Hell, ANY kind of postive communication is great in my book be it verbal or visual as long as the child can get their needs/wants met. From what I have read of TW, T1 doesn't really seem to be getting a lot of communication or feedback in any form, so I'm not too surprised his vocabulary/communication skills seem kind of limited. He seems clever and resourceful though, but I do worry anyway, since I am a worrier by nature, lol.

And those of you who use baby sign language, PLEASE make sure the signs you use are appropriate/proper for the situation. I'm sorry but it really bothers me when I see people using the wrong signs with their children and assuming it REALLY means what the teacher said it does. Lord, I could write a book on the things I've had to talk to parents about..... lol.

Anyway,Here's hoping T1 picks up a few choice words to tell his mother someday... :whistle:

[Witsec7]

Any bets on how quickly she would flounce if she came over here? I'll give her 2 posts on FJ before we virtually rip her to shreds and she runs away.

She doesn't have sufficient estrogen to come here and reveal herself and post. She's skeered of the hive.

[Sinister Rouge]

I tweeted her, basically asked if she was sure firing the PT had nothing to do with the fact that her child is neglected. Have yet to hear anything. Methinks she just loves the drama.

[Gizmola]

For the last four years I've had the worst time teaching my dog to stop jumping on people. I've tried pulling her down and saying no. I've tried rewarding her with treats when she would sit pretty. I would ignore her until she would sit. But somehow I just could tell, not only by her jumping, but by her face, her darling brown eyes that she just did NOT get it. In her sweet little head she really thought she was just expressing her happiness and joy at seeing someone she loves.

Finally, I stumbled upon a YouTube video that advised holding the dog's paws firmly until they struggled a bit and that would be a form of aversion therapy. I didn't like the idea because it seemed mean to make the dog so uncomfortable. However, it struck a cord because 1) she is severely claustrophobic and hates being constrained in any way 2) my brothers had stated that her jumping was a reason they didn't really like to visit me. Hence, she was losing time with two of her favorite people because of her behavior.

I tried it one day. I just held her paws until she started to twist. She did not jump again. Over the course of about three days I asked my parents and brothers to come over. I taught them the trick.

It's been a month and outside of a few isolated incidents when she would start to jump and then stop herself, she just doesn't jump anymore.

(I worried at first that it was too Pearl-like, using pain to "train." But she never whimpered, was never hurt, she just hates to feel contained.)

The point of my long winded story?

SHE'S A FUCKING DOG AND I SPENT MORE TIME, ENERGY, THOUGHT, PERSONALIZED ATTENTION BASED ON HER PERSONALITY, LOVE, FEELING, CARE AND WORRY ON HER THAN THATBITCH SHOWS HER FUCKING CHILD.

PS. I have dogs because I don't like children and even I would take that baby into my home in an instant. He's adorable, full of love and has no one to help him.

[hispania]

SHE'S A FUCKING DOG AND I SPENT MORE TIME, ENERGY, THOUGHT, PERSONALIZED ATTENTION BASED ON HER PERSONALITY, LOVE, FEELING, CARE AND WORRY ON HER THAN THATBITCH SHOWS HER FUCKING CHILD.

This. Times 1 billion.

My DOG has her own room. Yes, it's my office. Yes, she sleeps in a kennel in there*. But she has space. She has toys. She has treats. I snuggle her, I talk to her, sometimes I even tell her stories. (I know, I sound crazy.)

*Just for the crate-r haters out there.... She lives for crate time. At about 10pm every night she sits and waits outside the door of her kennel, eager to go inside. She also goes there when she gets scared of thunder or the vacuum cleaner.

[ShesCrafty]

This. Times 1 billion.

My DOG has her own room. Yes, it's my office. Yes, she sleeps in a kennel in there*. But she has space. She has toys. She has treats. I snuggle her, I talk to her, sometimes I even tell her stories. (I know, I sound crazy.)

*Just for the crate-r haters out there.... She lives for crate time. At about 10pm every night she sits and waits outside the door of her kennel, eager to go inside. She also goes there when she gets scared of thunder or the vacuum cleaner.

My CAT has more freedom and gets more attention than this poor child. I am not particularly maternal, but I work in special education and can only say: if the current developmental therapist is not working, get another! Or ask the current one why she is doing what she does! She will more than likely be happy to explain why she does what she does...

[ChunkyBarbie]

This. Times 1 billion.

My DOG has her own room. Yes, it's my office. Yes, she sleeps in a kennel in there*. But she has space. She has toys. She has treats. I snuggle her, I talk to her, sometimes I even tell her stories. (I know, I sound crazy.)

*Just for the crate-r haters out there.... She lives for crate time. At about 10pm every night she sits and waits outside the door of her kennel, eager to go inside. She also goes there when she gets scared of thunder or the vacuum cleaner.

Ditto!

PS Gizmola, Thanks for the training tip. My fur baby is a jumper, I am going to try this pronto.

Hispania, I sing to my dog, that is crazy. :D

[hispania]

Hispania, I sing to my dog, that is crazy. :D

Oh, darlingest of internet soulmates....I have so many, many songs that I sing to my pooch. I make up my own words and even sometimes my own tunes. She totally hates it when I sing in a really high pitched voice.

But seriously, I'm not even one of *those* pet owners with the fancy sweaters and high-priced food (maybe I used to be, I'll never tell...) and my dog has a better life than this child. Hell, the spiders living in my dusty doorjambs are leading better lives than T1.

[ChunkyBarbie]

Oh, darlingest of internet soulmates....I have so many, many songs that I sing to my pooch. I make up my own words and even sometimes my own tunes. She totally hates it when I sing in a really high pitched voice.

But seriously, I'm not even one of *those* pet owners with the fancy sweaters and high-priced food (maybe I used to be, I'll never tell...) and my dog has a better life than this child. Hell, the spiders living in my dusty doorjambs are leading better lives than T1.

[Kailis]

SHE'S A FUCKING DOG AND I SPENT MORE TIME, ENERGY, THOUGHT, PERSONALIZED ATTENTION BASED ON HER PERSONALITY, LOVE, FEELING, CARE AND WORRY ON HER THAN THAT BITCH SHOWS HER FUCKING CHILD.

So true! TW has bothered me from the start because I can't even leave my cat in the dark in my 500 square foot apartment while I'm at work. I seriously leave the hall light on for him every day. I can't fathom sticking him in the dark bathroom for any length of time. And he's a 6 pound ball of fur who's knocked a glass of water onto my head while I've been sleeping three times this week. And yet, despite the fact that I'm pissed at him, I still pet him and cuddle him and talk to him. Every day. Because that little furball is mine and I make sure he's taken care of no matter what!

[Curious]

After reading her post on the therapy, I feel fine about it. I have the same suspicions she has about toddler boys. My son is in a theraputic preschool and it's ALL boys. The Spanish class that meets at the same time is also ALL boys. The vast majority of children we see at the center, receiving services? Boys. I find it very strange as well and wonder if maybe the guidelines for what's "normal" are slanted against boys and their development.

My son was in speech therapy when he was a bit over 2. I was not concerned about him AT ALL, even though he was pretty much non-verbal. I can't recall exactly, but I don't think he was actually saying any words at all at 2. Maybe a couple, but certainly not 50. My pediatrician was about stroking out over it through, so I gave in and had him evaluated.

I was a very involved mom. I talked to him constantly. Read to him, played with him, had educational toys and videos etc. He was very smart and knew tons of words (even though he didn't say them). He could understand what we were saying and followed directions. He just didn't feel the need to talk for whatever reason. I used to joke that Einstein didn't talk til he was 5 and my son was probably making plans to build a rocket or something.

If he wanted something, if it was possible he would just do it himself vs asking for it. If he wanted a snack, he would go to the snack drawer and open it up and pull out a granola bar himself, for example.

So we had the evaluation done and for the motor part he was well above his age range. He did stuff that he was not even supposed to be able to do yet in the fine motor stuff like thread a tiny noodle on a string. As soon as they got to the speech stuff he just completely shut down on them. My ex and I looked at each other and just smiled because we both saw it coming. You could just see the wall go down behind his eyes. They would ask him to say something and he would look at us with a little twinkle in his eye and look back and the therapists and just pinch his mouth shut. He was having none of it. So of course he failed the speech part and they recommended therapy.

We agreed because it was free and I figured it could not hurt. The therapist we got LOVED him. She said that boys are often slower to talk and get put into therapy because they are so busy they just don't care. They are busy learning other stuff and talking will come later. She said there was absolutely nothing wrong with him and he would talk when he was ready, but since the therapy was free we might as well go ahead and do it. Plus, she really liked him.

She really didn't make any progress with him until she found something that was higher value to him than not talking. He LOVED winnie the pooh and they had a winnie the pooh computer game. She showed that to him one day and he was putty in her hands after that. She would make him deals about what he would have to do to be able to play the winnie the pooh game and he would fall all over himself doing whatever she wanted to be able to play the game.

I scrounged up enough money to buy a used computer from a friend at my ex's work and got a copy of the same game (it was an educational game btw, which taught letters, numbers, colors etc) at home and pretty soon he was talking at home as well. I found other games that worked for bribes as well after he got past the stage for the winnie the pooh game.

It was mostly just a matter of finding something that was a high enough value for him to make him want to bother to talk. Once he started he pretty much spoke in whole sentence right out of the gate because he already knew what so much stuff was.

I'm not sure why they don't make some adjustments for boys in the evaluations because it's been about 15 years since my son was in speech therapy and I have consistently heard in the years since from friends, friends of friends etc about their boys not talking at 1 or 15 months and them being so worried about it. I just tell my friends not to worry (assuming everything else is on track, of course) and give them some more time because boys tend to be slower. Since my therapist knew that, I am guessing other therapists do as well. It seems somewhat unfair to pigeonhole boys as being "slow" etc when for them it's more of a "normal."

My son will graduate high school this year. He gets good grades. He's a voracious reader. He holds a part time job that he got by his own choice. Not talking until he was over 2 hasn't slowed him down one bit.

[emmiedahl]

I had a similar experience with my oldest son, and I hope it is exactly what is going on with my youngest. But I would never turn down "just in case" early interventions. Maybe my kid is just not a talker, maybe he is having developmental issues. It is difficult to tell, and I will always err on the side of vigilance with small children because the stakes are too high.

My husband and I were discussing whether parents should be forced to take certain EI services for small children. I think it is medical neglect to let a child make it to age 10 (or even age 2) without walking talking, etc and not be in some kind of therapy; dh disagrees and has the rosy view that parents know best and will do what is best. Of course we come from two different parts of the political spectrum, and I wonder if that affects our various views on the matter.

[samithemage]

For her original post about him being delayed

The develpomental therapist placed him at somewhere just about 12 months for his cognitive abilities, worrying that he doesn’t respond to commands like “give me the cup†and doesn’t identify pictures (even things like shoes, a thing/word he loves, and that he will babble on about and fetch when we go say the words go bye-bye or ask him about his shoes).

The not having many words thing doesn't bother me too much. I've known many kids who were slow to speak. It's the lack of receptive language that worries me, the fact that he doesn't seem to understand much of what is said to him...or that he doesn't seem to understand the interaction the therapist was offering him. That seems troublesome. Most kids that love a certain thing (like shoes) would be eager to point them out. T1 didn't. That makes me think either he doesn't understand the language or that he doesn't know how to respond to the interaction. Either option makes me sad.

[Terrie]

Hispania, I sing to my dog, that is crazy. :D

I sing to my dog in the car, because it helps him be calm. His song is "You are my sunshine." For my old cat, I always used "Hush, Little Baby." Current kitty needs his own song. It actually makes me sad that he doesn't have a special one.

[emmiedahl]

Have you considered "Here Comes the Sun", "Return to Pooh Corner" or "Three Little Birds"? Those are favorite lullabies in my house. I know it's lame (Kenny Loggins? Really?) but they are very comforting and have no children falling out of trees.

[Terrie]

Have you considered "Here Comes the Sun", "Return to Pooh Corner" or "Three Little Birds"? Those are favorite lullabies in my house. I know it's lame (Kenny Loggins? Really?) but they are very comforting and have no children falling out of trees.

Ooo, I love "Here Comes the Sun." Though, now I want to call my next male cat Jude, so his song can her "Hey, Jude"

[Linnea]

For her original post about him being delayed

The not having many words thing doesn't bother me too much. I've known many kids who were slow to speak. It's the lack of receptive language that worries me, the fact that he doesn't seem to understand much of what is said to him...or that he doesn't seem to understand the interaction the therapist was offering him. That seems troublesome. Most kids that love a certain thing (like shoes) would be eager to point them out. T1 didn't. That makes me think either he doesn't understand the language or that he doesn't know how to respond to the interaction. Either option makes me sad.

This. Which is why I especially think he NEEDS developmental therapy (or, as TW would have it, "just playing like any normal adult would do").

Some of the commenters on her blog are stressing that there are no risks or possible bad side effects of developmental therapy, so why not do it? I hope they convince her, but I'm not holding my breath. There are possible risks of *not* doing the therapy, but TW is so sure she knows more than the experts in many areas . . .

Her lack of understanding of children and how to play with them blows my mind. She thinks toddlers are supposed to just sit there while you read text to them, instead of asking them questions, pointing things out, seeing where their interest goes. She thinks carrying toys from one room to another and then dropping them when you see something more interesting is not playing "correctly". She thinks the (highly trained, experienced) therapist is wrong for letting the child lead and make choices in play.

I'd need more than two hands to have enough facepalm for this.

ETA: Just for the record, I don't think we can say for sure that parental neglect (I'm looking at you too, TH) is the cause of T1's delays. Maybe it's something organic that would have shown up no matter how he was parented. But being aware that there's a delay, and refusing to take free or near-free expert help . . . that is their fault.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I'd need more than two hands to have enough facepalm for this.

Here you go!

[Curious]

I had a similar experience with my oldest son, and I hope it is exactly what is going on with my youngest. But I would never turn down "just in case" early interventions. Maybe my kid is just not a talker, maybe he is having developmental issues. It is difficult to tell, and I will always err on the side of vigilance with small children because the stakes are too high.

My husband and I were discussing whether parents should be forced to take certain EI services for small children. I think it is medical neglect to let a child make it to age 10 (or even age 2) without walking talking, etc and not be in some kind of therapy; dh disagrees and has the rosy view that parents know best and will do what is best. Of course we come from two different parts of the political spectrum, and I wonder if that affects our various views on the matter.

I am not sure how I feel about being FORCED to use EI. Now, I would have done anything voluntarily for my son. When my dr. got concerned (even though I wasn't) I agreed to testing immediately. I thought it was silly and unwarranted, but I was like it's free so knock yourself out and schedule him for whatever you want. So he also had his hearing tested, even though it was (IMO) pretty obvious that he could hear.

I think part of my Dr.'s concern was because my son had been slightly premature and did spend some time in NICU and he was on oxygen initially. He also had to be put on a ventilator when he was about 18 or 20 months when he was very ill and there were some concerns there as well about oxygen issues before the vent got put in. They thought they may have to put in a trach tube, but ended up getting the vent in ok. So I understood his concerns, even though I thought they were at a minimum premature. He, of course, didn't have the benefit of seeing my son every day and knowing how he was in "normal" conditions.

If I had thought my son was having *any* kind of delays at all, I would have been the first one to be nagging my dr. to get me some evaluations or I would find a way to get it done myself.

When he was put on the vent, I was on Title 8 at the time (Medicaid for kids basically) and had to have preapproval from my dr. to take him to the hospital. I *knew* something was wrong with my son so I called the Dr. at around midnight and talked to him and he thought it was not a big deal and said I could wait until morning and bring him into the office. I said "Look I am taking him to the ER. You can meet me there or not. I will be there in 15 minutes." When I walked in carrying him, the intern from his office was waiting and they took one look at him and immediately called my Dr. and said you need to get in here NOW we have a problem.

If I had waited like my Dr. wanted I'm not really sure what would have happened, but it would have been very, very bad. My Dr was glad that I overrode him and said I was bringing my son in and advocated for him even though it could have potentially been a huge out of pocket expense for me.

[Sunnichick31]

Has anyone else read her latest post? I smell damage control! She has pictures of him in a bed! OMG!!

[Aurora]

Has anyone else read her latest post? I smell damage control! She has pictures of him in a bed! OMG!!

Yes I agree! What is she trying to say there? Do you think he is still sleeping in that pack'n'play? Isn't it about time he got a bed? (the pix are in their bed)