Bro Gary Hawkins 23: Give Us the History

[Alisamer]

15 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Sheila's obituary - notice that Becky's kids are listed among her grandchildren, Joshua is listed without spouse, and that they are asking donations to Danny's radio station in lieu of flowers.

Carrly? I bet she gets a lot of attention and jokes on Talk like a Pirate day. 

Also Brittny. The rest have pretty nice normal names, which is refreshing! Based on the area they are from and how Gary comes across, I'd have expected more creative spellings and at least one Nevaeh. 

Sorry, that was snooty of me. Gary makes me feel that way sometimes.

She was at Atrium Health Baptist in Wake Forest which is a highly ranked teaching hospital and well regarded, so I'm sure she probably got good care which is nice. I always worry with fundies because there are the few crazies who decide all they need is prayer and some smelly oils. 

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Oh she was the last of her siblings?

Is this a typical obituary around where they live? Just a list of relatives, and not a single word about what the deceased used to do  or what she was like as a person, apart from being someone's child, spouse, or (grand)parent?

I would expect there to be a little more to it, personally. Usually along the lines of "long time member of this particular church and known for her delicious banana pudding" or "was a dedicated pastor's wife at such and such church, who enjoyed visiting with homebound church members" or "was an avid cross-stitcher and enjoyed volunteering at the local food bank" or "was known for her infectious laughter and kind demeanor" or various things like that. Not a ton usually unless the person was a pillar of the community sort, but a sentence or two giving you a hint of who the person was other than an incubator.

A member of the church I attend passed last weekend, and in addition to all the family info at the beginning and the funeral info at the end, it includes this (name and some identifiers removed just in case):

Quote

She was a member of First Baptist Church where she served as a Deacon and was involved in numerous committees and groups including the Jubilant Seniors. She enjoyed taking trips with the Vagabond Group. She retired from A&E where she served as an international pricing manager. She graduated from Redacted High School in year where she was Homecoming Queen.

She loved to be outdoors and travel. She loved to garden and above all else spend time with her children and grandchildren. Her generous spirit will be greatly missed by all who knew her.

There might have been a word limit or something, maybe? Maybe there were cost restrictions for adding too much detail. 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Is this a typical obituary around where they live? Just a list of relatives, and not a single word about what the deceased used to do  or what she was like as a person, apart from being someone's child, spouse, or (grand)parent?

I don't know if it is typical in their area, but it seems in keeping with most of the people in that family. I don't know who gave the funeral home to information so it could be written - it seems to me that Kim might have been more personal in describing her mother.

 

8 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Carrly? I bet she gets a lot of attention and jokes on Talk like a Pirate day. 

Carly is Becky's daughter from her first marriage. She did add a y to the end of her original name, for facebook, but I have no idea if she goes by that name in general.

She did not ever have two Rs in her name. I don't know if that's a typo, or whoever gave the information to the funeral home had a vague memory that she'd added a letter to her name and forgot which one it was.

[Xan]

4 hours ago, Hane said:

OMG. Gary’s mom was only two days older than I am.

What's even scarier is that I realized that I'm older than she was.  Yikes.

[Black Aliss]

On 11/6/2023 at 8:38 PM, thoughtful said:

Becky posted it as well, and, of course, so did Kim.

So they had nothing set aside, no plan, no insurance, and went right to a GoFundMe - why am I not surprised.

And they want $15K to bury her? They've gotten $700, which should just about cover. Direct cremation, or ask the state to take care of it.

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, marmalade said:

I thought she was closer to 80 with Gary being in his 50s. 

Looks like she married at 18, and was about a month and a half shy of 20 when Gary was born (the first time, on 10/7/1972, not the second time, on Jooolah 11, 1999).

Edited November 8, 2023 by thoughtful
riffle

[thoughtful]

The latest contribution on the GoFundMe is from the man who had this comment conversation with Gary under his Trump hat post:

Spoiler

I'm pretty sure he's given Gary some pushback before, but can't find it right now.

He posts things like this on his own facebook page:

Quote

“I think it’s really insane that we live in a time where people still judge a book by its cover,” she said.”I wasn’t aware that there’s a uniform that you’re supposed to wear once you give your heart to Jesus.”

So a popular tattoo artist recently came to faith in Jesus and professed her faith publicly through baptism. Heaven celebrated.

Unfortunately, she received a lot of backlash. Not from atheists or people of her genre but from Christians who make up the church. Now she says the one place she thought would welcome her, condemned her.

Who knows if she’ll find a church? I wouldn’t blame her if she rejected her faith. Wake up church! Jesus didn’t do it this way!

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” -Pogo

And this:

 

Spoiler

I guess giving the money is his way of trying to be a good person and a good Christian and help, despite probably thinking Gary is a judgmental Pharisee. But it strikes me more as wasting good money on grifters who won't be the least bit grateful.

Edited November 9, 2023 by thoughtful
fixing formatting

[keepercjr]

16 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Carrly? I bet she gets a lot of attention and jokes on Talk like a Pirate day. 

Also Brittny. The rest have pretty nice normal names, which is refreshing! Based on the area they are from and how Gary comes across, I'd have expected more creative spellings and at least one Nevaeh. 

First I had NO idea there was another sister!  She hasn't been in any family pictures of mentioned anywhere.  I looked her up on facebook and Brittny is a typo in the obit ("Brittny" is her daughter).  It is actually spelled Brittany.  And Carly spells her name Carlyy on facebook but I am sure it is just Carly.  I think it is just typos from someone who didn't proofread. 

Becky's daughter Adrienne posted a picture of her with Sheila saying she loved her and she will miss her.  Called her Grandma.  I think that Sheila might have been a nice grandma.  Becky's kids hate Gary so for her to say how much she loves and will miss Sheila (and calling her grandma) says a lot!

[thoughtful]

6 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

First I had NO idea there was another sister!

I knew Gary had 2 or 3 sisters (he himself says he never remembers how many, and I can't tell if he is joking when he says it or not, because Gary). Kim is the only one whose name I knew.  Unless it's yet another error in that obit, now I know there are three.

I don't think I ever realized that Gary is the oldest sibling. There's one stereotype he breaks - he's sure as heck not the responsible, mature older brother type.

I bet he could tease meanly with the best of them, but I can also imagine his younger siblings outsmarting him easily.

The obituary has been updated with a picture of a very young Sheila:

Spoiler

And, looking at it again, I realized I was wrong - for some reason I thought her birthday was later this month. So she was only a few days shy of 20 when she had Gary. Sorry about that.

[thoughtful]

Unless there's another person in North Carolina with this unusual name, this is Gary's brother-in-law.

Spoiler

Found him in a list of wedding licenses, here, marrying someone else:

https://greensboro.com/the-public-record/article_d9333481-021d-5ee7-a3f7-3b27e683078c.html

Quote

George a Brummitt, 29, of Reidsville, and Wanda Cardwell Easter, 31, of Mayodan

And then there's this:

 

ETA - I remembered wondering who Tracy was when Danny mumbled about her in a sermon, and found my post:

It seems that Tracy Neugent (Collins?) Brummitt is the person listed as one of Sheila's children in the obit. I know online info isn't always reliable, but she seems to be older than Gary - 56, according to this site:

https://radaris.com/~Tracy-Collins/1583489413

So I don't know how she ended up in the Hawkins family.

Edited November 9, 2023 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, thoughtful said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Found him in a list of wedding licenses, here, marrying someone else:

https://greensboro.com/the-public-record/article_d9333481-021d-5ee7-a3f7-3b27e683078c.htm

Quote

George a Brummitt, 29, of Reidsville, and Wanda Cardwell Easter, 31, of Mayodan

 

Quoting myself because the C&P from the marriage license list ended up with an A where his middle name should be. My computer or browser or something doesn't always cooperate with FJ, and my cursor will suddenly jump to a new spot. Sometimes I don't realize it, and blithely go on typing

It should say (and does, on the original page):

Quote

George Greylin Brummitt, 29, of Reidsville, and Wanda Cardwell Easter, 31, of Mayodan

 

Edited November 9, 2023 by thoughtful
fixing formatting

[Alisamer]

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I don't know if it is typical in their area, but it seems in keeping with most of the people in that family. I don't know who gave the funeral home to information so it could be written - it seems to me that Kim might have been more personal in describing her mother.

Yeah it to me almost sounds like it was written by someone who was told to write an obituary for someone they didn't really know - I imagine the funeral home probably has a standard format (as would newspapers) - and they only know what the family tells them, I suppose. 

15 hours ago, keepercjr said:

First I had NO idea there was another sister!  She hasn't been in any family pictures of mentioned anywhere.  I looked her up on facebook and Brittny is a typo in the obit ("Brittny" is her daughter).  It is actually spelled Brittany.  And Carly spells her name Carlyy on facebook but I am sure it is just Carly.  I think it is just typos from someone who didn't proofread. 

 

Good to know those were typos, I figured they were, but Carrly was just so pirately amusing I had to point it out. 

Even with the typos they clearly didn't have Gary send in the info for the obituary. He'd have forgotten half the family and probably went on a tangent about God.

[thoughtful]

Michaela has done a late pregnancy photoshoot. I bet you can guess what the poses were. A small sampling below:

Spoiler

Yes, that's the full image - no head.

 

Hey, guys - you missed the one where the husband stands behind the wife and puts his hands under hers under the belly (or makes a hand-heart with her).

Amateurs.

 

[Alisamer]

23 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Michaela has done a late pregnancy photoshoot. I bet you can guess what the poses were. A small sampling below:

  Hide contents

Yes, that's the full image - no head.

 

Hey, guys - you missed the one where the husband stands behind the wife and puts his hands under hers under the belly (or makes a hand-heart with her).

Amateurs.

 

Uh, Marlee's Magical Moments? Did you miss the car behind the tree, there? AI can even get rid of that for you these days. 

I'm totally fine with people doing photoshoots to commemorate parts of their lives or just to feel special for a day. I'm also a fan of photographers getting paid for their work. 

But I'm not the biggest fan of Marlee's work, there. 

[thoughtful]

5 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I'm totally fine with people doing photoshoots to commemorate parts of their lives or just to feel special for a day.

Oh, me, too. And I'm glad that women have been happy with how they look when very pregnant, rather than hiding it or being ashamed, as they were in days of yore.

It's just that the poses were so predictable. And, knowing what they believe, I guess I can't help but see fundy pregnancy photoshoots as celebrating women as baby-producers and feeders (and not much else).

[Alisamer]

21 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Oh, me, too. And I'm glad that women have been happy with how they look when very pregnant, rather than hiding it or being ashamed, as they were in days of yore.

It's just that the poses were so predictable. And, knowing what they believe, I guess I can't help but see fundy pregnancy photoshoots as celebrating women as baby-producers and feeders (and not much else).

It is pretty sad that for fundie women (and frankly many non-fundie women) the only time they get photoshoots are their wedding, pregnancy, and then maybe family group photos. 

Honestly it makes me want to have a photoshoot done myself. Just for fun. Maybe next time I bother to get done up I'll take some photos. I'll make sure to include some fundie style ones, like peeking out from a bush, looking pensively into the distance, and at least one where the camera appears to be on a roof. Since I'm not pregnant, no heart hands on belly. And I doubt my cat would be willing to participate for baby photos. 

[postscript]

11 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

It is pretty sad that for fundie women (and frankly many non-fundie women) the only time they get photoshoots are their wedding, pregnancy, and then maybe family group photos. 

Unless you’re JillRod, who seems to consider photo shoots as frequent and necessary as breathing, or some of the Bates ladies (looking at you, Josie, Carlin, Alyssa and Erin), who will use any excuse to dress up in evening gowns and pose among rocks or on beaches. 

[thoughtful]

Someone who I think is a tobacco cessation counselor at Wake Forest Hospital made a contribution to the GoFundMe. Maybe Sheila and/or some other members of the family made a good impression and were liked there.

Woodland Baptist Church gave $500. There are several churches by that name, but I'm guessing it's this one, since it's in Winston-Salem:

https://www.woodlandbaptistnow.com/

Gary posted:

I checked the Wednesday evening service at Family Baptist. Pastor Baker "assigns" the congregation to go eat at places that give a free meal or dessert to veterans on Veterans' Day, to godbother them to come to their service the next day.

He prefaces it with "Wives, you can say 'Pastor said you have to take me out to eat, awright?'" He lists the local restaurants and fast food places that do so, looking up and grinning when he gets to one, saying "White Castle! OK? I know ladies are excited for their husband t'take 'em to White Castle."

Then he starts the prayer requests by saying, quickly and as if he was reading a grocery list: "Prayf'rBr'r Gary, and his wife, they're driving to North Carolina, his mother did pass away, and she is in heaven now, in a beautiful place, and so, he's on his way there, his wife is doin' better and so they're on their way there for this funeral on Friday, so pray for them."

Slick, uncaring, and focused on getting to the ego boost of delivering his message and singing specials with his kids, as usual.

He snipes at the abortion rights decision in Ohio, "see how messed up the world is," then prays, asking God for a day when "you will rule and reign with a rod of uh, strength, where we will rule and reign with you, and um, where everything will be run the way you want it to be."

He makes me shudder.

[thoughtful]

Gary posted:

Spoiler

He added the picture of his mother from the obit, but no link to any information. Most comments were more prayers (if you're hinting for more contributions, Gary, give it up), and this:

Spoiler

ETA - I should have refreshed facebook before posting - he tried again, and remembered the information this time. He also posted the link to the GoFundMe yet again. There have been no new contributions since yesterday afternoon.

Spoiler

 

Edited November 10, 2023 by thoughtful

[Xan]

I've contributed to funeral funds from time to time.  Mostly it's for people whom I know and the reasons they ask for the money are usually obvious.  It can be huge medical bills, kids still at home to feed, young person dying unexpectedly, or whatever.  In this case, it's just Danny and Sheila and she was ill for quite some time.  Now they pop up and hope that people contribute enough to cover the funeral and burial.  

I feel sorry for them but I'm also annoyed that the fundies just don't feel the need to be responsible.  Any big hardship that comes up and they're there with their hands out waiting for free money.  Sorry, Danny, but you don't need a radio program.  (Honestly, he's even harder to follow than his dimwitted son.)  

Maybe they could do what the rest of us do and pay what they can and do the rest in installments.  Maybe other people in the family can pitch in.  If Danny had preached at a church that wasn't his living room, maybe he'd have a congregation that would be willing to help.

Sorry, I'm just feeling irritated with the Hawkins family and their immediate GoFundMe posting.

[thoughtful]

Gary's sister Kim has posted the link to the GoFundMe five times - I guess she doesn't know how to pin posts.

One includes this prelude:

Quote

Thank you so much for all the Prayers. I believe the Lord gave us 3 more weeks with my beautiful Momma because of Prayers. Please consider donating to help us honor an amazing woman who loved the Lord and put everything she had in the ministry. I believe she is being welcomed by many in heaven who was there because of my Mom and Dads faithful service to the Lord!

Oh, and in the middle of all of those posts about the GoFundMe is one other - a recipe for mac and cheese.

[Ozlsn]

Between the Mac and cheese recipe and the "NC" answer to the when and where question... I kind of feel guilty laughing, but holy crap this family are a mess.

I'm glad Michaela had a photoshoot, and I hope she is happy with the photos.

Sheila was much younger than I realised, given Gary and I are close in age I was expecting Sheila to be older.

[thoughtful]

Kim posted the link to the GoFundMe a sixth time, with this preface:

Quote

Thank you so much to everyone who has given Prayed and shared! Please help us share to help pay for My Mommas Funeral.

Give her time, she may surpass JillRod's record for posting about baby #14 (or was it 19?) going to heaven.

They've gotten $1665 of their requested $15,000.

There is video of the funeral. Maybe I'm horrible, but I just had to watch. Recap under spoiler.

Spoiler

In the milling around before the service, the grandkids that come into view mostly seem to be socializing quietly with one another and the adults don't look disapproving of them, which is good.

Gary passes by camera range:

Someone comes up to preside - I think it's Joey, Kim's husband. Caleb and Sarah sing Record Book, which was Sheila's favorite song. Caleb plays well and sings OK, Sarah is still very quiet.

Then Joey says that Gary is going to come up and say "just a few words."

Gary begins with "Well." (longish pause) She's in heaven. Heaven's soundin' sweeter every day." He tsks. "Ah kin say this much -  she was a good mother. An' ah kin tellya one of her requests would be, is everyone in this room in heaven one day. And, uh, that was wonna th'last things she said, an um, ah kin tellya raht now, y'better be ready. Eternity is real, an' ya never know when yer gonna go an' how yer gonna go. But ya better make sure yer saved."

And he leaves the pulpit.

Yep - not a word about his supposedly beloved mother, other than that she was a "good mother." I guess I should be grateful he didn't regale them with tales of the beatings she gave him, and he spoke fairly quietly - no shouting. He did sound threatening, though - more like a low-pitched, quiet mob boss manner (nice soul ya got there - be a shame if something happened to it).

A slide show plays, with music - Scars in Heaven, It is Well With My Soul.

That's Gary in the upper right of this photo. So he can smile for pictures.

Danny with an actual church:

Joey calls attention to the fact that there were many pictures of the grandchildren, and food.

Three of the grandchildren sing Ron Hamilton's (aka Patch the Pirate) Rejoice in the Lord, looking embarrassed.

Danny comes up, says they were married 53 years "an' we stayed t'gether mosta that time." He chuckles. He says he may not make it through (I assume he means without breaking down), but she asked him to preach her funeral.

More later.

 

 

 

Edited November 11, 2023 by thoughtful
removing extra picture

[Xan]

Of the many things that I don't understand about the fundies, the need to preach at weddings and funerals are at the top of the list.  Can't they just talk about Sheila and what a good woman she was?  Is anything an excuse to talk about being saved?  What tiny little minds they have.

When I go, I've requested no funeral.  If anyone held a funeral and had the audacity to try to preach at it, I would rise from the ashes and smite them.  A person's death is not an excuse to pontificate.

[MayMay1123]

My cousin passed away last month. There was no funeral, no service, no church, nothing... but today a huge number of people who loved her gathered at her daughter's home to eat, drink, and share. The fundies would have been appalled. No one had better start telling people they better get saved or else at my funeral (or whatever my family decides) either! 

Edited November 12, 2023 by MayMay1123

[thoughtful]

Gary has posted (probably after being prompted by Becky:
 

Spoiler

pre-edit:

 

Kim isn't giving up yet - she posted the link to the GoFundMe (privately this time, for some reason), with this preface:

Spoiler