Bro Gary Hawkins 23: Give Us the History

[Dana723]

On 10/18/2023 at 11:20 AM, Alisamer said:

He knows the plans he has for you. But if you beg hard enough he might maybe change things. Though he knew before that he'd change things, since he knows all his plans. Which means that must have been part of the plan all along. But you still gotta pray and beg, for some reason. It's like a dog chasing it's tail.

I'm a Christian and I honestly struggle with this.  My daughter was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago.  Do I pray for her to get better?  Do I pray for God's will?  How do I pray?  And if I struggle with something like that, I can't even imagine what someone with Gary's limited intelligence feels. 

 

ETA:  She's doing fine now and is home, so I must have done something right 😁

Edited October 22, 2023 by Dana723
added clarification

[thoughtful]

This morning's announcements from Pastor Baker include the fact that "ladies are having an activity at our house" soon. He asks them to bring "a fall soup - like, don't drop the soup, but bring a fall soup, or a fall dessert, or bread."

Comedy gold./s

Captions:

Spoiler

He tells them that 11/12 is "Veteran's Sunday." So, how does this man of God plan to honor those who have served?

"Veterans love to wear their hats, OK? Ya ever notice that? Veterans got their hat on, they were Navy, they were Air Force, they were Army, what's the other one? I don't think it matters - uh, Marine, OK. They love to wear on their hat, and when you see somebody, we'd like you to invite them to come on November 12."

His attempts at humor are so limp. Besides pretending to forget about the Marines, he is actually telling them to identify total strangers as veterans (based on their hats, I guess) and invite them to church.

I guess this is to be added to their usual burden of soul-winning others, as well. Vulnerable populations are like Pokemon to these scavengers - gotta catch 'em all.

He calls on a congregant to talk about Pastor Appreciation Month. In keeping with the tone Baker creates, the man jokes about being asked to do it, not volunteering hahaha. But seriously, he loves Pastor. He talks about how he was new to the church when Baker ran for mayor and "that drummed up a lotta stuff on the Internet." What persuaded him not to believe any of the bad things being said about Baker was the character of his children.

After some more ass-kissing from this guy, Baker comes back up and reminisces about his run for mayor. He says the former mayor (now lying congressman), party head, and state representative all asked him to run, but, of course, he had to check with God.

He says he told them what kind of "lies" would come up, but the party lawyer said they could handle it all. He talks about how the people in church stuck by him, and how open and honest he was. He goes on for a while. After this trip down Big Ego Memory Lane, they sing again, and then it's movie and sermon time.

He says his message is about John chapter 11 and:

Spoiler

Yes, Eeyore.

I need a break.

[thoughtful]

Gary on hellween (or helloween - that one sounds like Gary greeting his food) - remember, folks, GOD is true and every man a lair, and it's all part of this transgender stuff:

Kids really hate those people who give out canned goods and a tract instead of candy. "Here, kid - here's some creamed corn and salvation." I guess it's a mercy that they only do it for "one day out the years."

And this is after two edits!

 

[AmazonGrace]

Every man is liar?

Gary is a man. Ergo...this post is BS.

[thoughtful]

11 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Every man is liar?

Gary is a man. Ergo...this post is BS.

No, no, @AmazonGrace, the bible says that God is true, and every man a liar.

Gary insists that every man is a lair. So they all have foxes and lions and gangsters and such living inside them.

Edited October 24, 2023 by thoughtful
riffle

[AmazonGrace]

Well that probably checks out 

[thoughtful]

Hey, Gary, answer this guy:

 

I listened to the prayer requests from Wednesday evening 10/11. Someone in the congregation asked for prayers for Gary, and Pastor Baker said "I talked to him before church, and wanted to mention that. His mother's been in ICU. They found out that she - they put her on the wrong medicine, when she got out of the hospital and she had a heart attack a coupla weeks ago, and her heart's only working at 20%, and um, they called and said it's not looking good for his mom. And so, pray for them, pray for him, decisions, whether to go or not, and pray for the mom and the family, and uh, and um, what - inevitable is gonna happen to all of us, we're gonna pass, and knowing that heaven is a wonderful place, and it is."

So I guess Gary and Becky were still in TN on 10/11, but not in church.

On Wednesday evening 10/18. Pastor Baker made a prayer request for "BrrGary and SssRebecca," adding that they'd be coming back, and "the mother that was in ICU and had her on the wrong medicine, and when they had to take her off, um, she's supposed to uh, um,  when they took her off the blood pressure medicine her blood pressure's supposed to stay low and that she would die."

"She's on dialysis, you can't do dialysis if their blood pressure is under 90, and so they said there's really nothing they can do, when they take her off of this medicine, her blood pressure's gonna go low, she can't have dialysis it's just a matter of time, if you - if your kidneys are not working to cleanse the blood from the impurities you have to do dialysis, if not, then you, then you're not gonna live."

"And so they took her off the medicine, and she was OK, she was good, and they didn't, um, they thought when she would go to sleep, her blood pressure would lower and then she wouldn't come out of that. And so the dad kept wakin' her up - he said he didn't want her to go. And, um, and then she just kept getting better, and she got to go home, and her blood pressure's above 90, and she's able to do dialysis, so um anyway, thank you for all the prayers, and uh keep praying for them."

"So, um, of course we know we're gonna say goodbye - goodbye to our loved ones and older ones  eventually, but to have 'em a longer time is a blessing, so pray for BrrGary and MissRebecca __________ (mumble that may have been "as they drive back") and also for Gary's Mom, OK?"

This is the first I've heard about a wrong medication. It may be something Baker got from Gary's no-doubt garbled description.

At least he didn't go on and on about God healing her.

Edited October 25, 2023 by thoughtful
riffle

[postscript]

Oh, Gary. Helloween is his favorite rant, followed by the Supper Bowel. He's in his usual form. 

Where in the Bible, King James or otherwise, does it mention Halloween? It doesn't, because the concept didn't exist in ancient Israel. How does he know God thinks it's Satanic? I'm sure he's contorting some poor Bible verse that actually means something completely different.

What does Halloween have to do with transgender "stuff?" The workings of Gary's mind frequently puzzle me. I see someone else posed the question. I would love to see Gary try to answer that one. 

Handing out tracts with "can," however, gave me a much-needed laugh, as did man as lair. 

2 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

And so the dad kept wakin' her up - he said he didn't want her to go.

That sounds annoying. She's very sick, her body is struggling to function, and her husband keeps waking her up? 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, postscript said:

What does Halloween have to do with transgender "stuff?" The workings of Gary's mind frequently puzzle me. I see someone else posed the question. I would love to see Gary try to answer that one. 

He screamed about it in October of last year, at his parents' kitchen counter church, saying "they dress up t'be whatever they want to." He followed it up with the lie that was going around about schools setting up litter boxes for kids who "identify as cats."

I think his train of thought is that dressing up as something you're not (male, female, animal, Frankenstein's monster) leads to "identifying" as that thing. So kids being allowed to wear Halloween costumes somehow opens them up to the possibility of changing genders.

He's often said that men dressing like women and vice versa is a cause of homosexuality.

 

[thoughtful]

Speaking of Halloween, a cousin sent me this picture, from a pumpkin decorating contest she saw. Hey, @Audrey2 - take a look!

Spoiler

 

[Xan]

I always figured that the fundie reaction to Halloween had to do with the kids who dress up as witches and ghosts.  Organized religion has a major problem with even saying the word "witch" much less having your kids dress up as one.  And the dead have gone to Heaven and aren't supposed to be running around in people's yards getting candy.

I think they just don't really have enough things about which to complain so they've made Halloween into some major, evil holiday.  It gives them a chance to think they're really standing up to the secular world and sticking by their biblical principles.  Mostly it just comes off as petty and silly.

Yesterday, Gary's relative posted that his mom hadn't been feeling well.  I have a bad feeling that this will just be a series of trips back and forth to the hospital until the inevitable happens.

[AmazonGrace]

9 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I think his train of thought is that dressing up as something you're not (male, female, animal, Frankenstein's monster) leads to "identifying" as that thing.

 

How does he feel about Christmas pageants? I have seen toddlers dressed up as trees, sheep and angels.

Dressing up as Mary is sure to increase teen pregnancy rate.

[Mrs Ms]

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

How does he feel about Christmas pageants? I have seen toddlers dressed up as trees, sheep and angels.

Dressing up as Mary is sure to increase teen pregnancy rate.

My mother played Mary in an adult production of a nativity play. They were struggling to fill the position because for a number of years, every woman who played Mary became pregnant the next year. Sure enough, so did my mother. I was old enough to remember the joke she made when she took the role, my panic that she played her and then my reaction when she told me she was pregnant.

[thoughtful]

A little conversation under Gary's Helloween post:

Spoiler

The awkward silence visual is a gif - I caught it in mid-smirk.

 

[Xan]

The last update we heard on Gary's mom was that she was home, having some difficult days, and that her dog had to be euthanized.  Gary's sister(?) says that they're getting her a new dog baby since she misses the other one so much.

I have to admit, I have some difficulty with this.  It will be fine if there's someone to love and care for the dog if Sheila goes.  I'm not sure it's fair to a puppy though to bring it into a house, have it get adjusted to being a lap baby for Sheila, and then having its world change if she's not around anymore.  I know they're trying to make her happy but I'm not sure they've thought this through.

[thoughtful]

26 minutes ago, Xan said:

The last update we heard on Gary's mom was that she was home, having some difficult days, and that her dog had to be euthanized.

What awful timing.

I agree with you that it might be problematic if they get a new dog.

I get the impression that there are lots of people around all of the time in that household, so the new dog may end up bonding with a few family members, and Danny or someone else may end up keeping and caring for it. We can hope.

I think this family is a mixed bag when it comes to dogs - there does seem to have been some thoughtless adopting/purchasing and possibly dumping. I still wonder what happened to Caleb's dog that was staying with Becky and Gary, and Gideon the chihuahua.

But it looked like Prissy was well cared for.

 

[thoughtful]

Gary is getting in some more whining about Halloween:

Spoiler

 

I think there is a "say" missing between "HE will" and "it was wicked" - that's the only way I could make sense of that.

Some comments (don't bare your fruit, Randall - we don't want to see that):

Spoiler

 

 

[AmazonGrace]

So basically Gary is against Halloween because Preacherman Gary gets none of the money. 

[postscript]

Boy, Gary is in a pissier mood than usual about Halloween. He must be hearing more about it now that he’s off the road. Or perhaps he’s just got. Pre time to whine.

it’s going to be an interesting time at the Rapture if God has to tell off nearly everybody for participating in Halloween. Those big screens Gary believes in will be working overtime. I can just picture Gary himself standing next to God wearing his best I-told-you-so smirk as all his Halloween-celebrating friends file in. 

[Xan]

My afterlife daydream for Gary has him standing there as God ushers everyone in.  The look on his face is basically "What the...?"  He requests Chinese food and an angel tells him that no one eats in heaven.  There aren't any streets of gold and nobody has a mansion.  Gary is pissed.

[postscript]

23 minutes ago, Xan said:

My afterlife daydream for Gary has him standing there as God ushers everyone in.  The look on his face is basically "What the...?"  He requests Chinese food and an angel tells him that no one eats in heaven.  There aren't any streets of gold and nobody has a mansion.  Gary is pissed.

And Gary’s best bud John the Baptist is nowhere to be found! 

[AmazonGrace]

A bunch of heathen heretics show up and Jesus is good buddies with them.

[Alisamer]

16 hours ago, Xan said:

I have to admit, I have some difficulty with this.  It will be fine if there's someone to love and care for the dog if Sheila goes.  I'm not sure it's fair to a puppy though to bring it into a house, have it get adjusted to being a lap baby for Sheila, and then having its world change if she's not around anymore.  I know they're trying to make her happy but I'm not sure they've thought this through.

I agree. Like, it's super adorable to see an older person adopting a pet and being so super super happy about it, but if it's JUST that person... I can see how it could be an issue. I think after a certain age (and frankly I'm just about there myself) you have to look at the potential lifespan of the pet vs. your own, and if you don't have anyone to take that pet (preferably who knows the pet already) after you're gone maybe getting the pet is not a good choice. And if you're literally on death's doorstep pacing back and forth, maybe it might be best if you don't get your own new pet. It'd be better to figure out a way to enjoy time with a pet without the responsibility of one belonging to you. Enjoy a family member's pet, or volunteer to go cuddle kittens after their spays and neuters or something like that. 

20 minutes ago, postscript said:

Boy, Gary is in a pissier mood than usual about Halloween. He must be hearing more about it now that he’s off the road. Or perhaps he’s just got. Pre time to whine.

it’s going to be an interesting time at the Rapture if God has to tell off nearly everybody for participating in Halloween. Those big screens Gary believes in will be working overtime. I can just picture Gary himself standing next to God wearing his best I-told-you-so smirk as all his Halloween-celebrating friends file in. 

And then being all pissy when those people still get to go into heaven same as he does.

I don't quite get what these fundies believe, really. They say you can't lose your salvation (most of them, anyway) but they also seem to think you can be "not really saved" as well. And they disparage people who are saved but who do things they think God will disapprove of, but rarely come right out and claim that person isn't really saved. 

So, like, does Gary think that no matter how good a person you are, whether you are saved, even if you only use the KJV and follow all the other arbitrary "get into heaven" rules on the checklist, if you give out candy with a tract on Halloween God is going to boot you out of heaven? Do they ever preach on what will happen to people who don't 100% agree with them, once they get to heaven and watch their life's greatest hits play-by-play on the heavenly jumbotron? Will they get into heaven, but God will be pissy at them? Will they get into heaven but only have a McMansion instead of a big Mansion? Will the just-barely-saved people be stuck in a heavenly trailer park where the roads are paved in aluminum instead of gold? Maybe they'll only get their heavenly Chinese food on weekends? 

I enjoy the pointless scare-mongering about Halloween, because it's funny in a pathetic sort of way, but all the same I'm kind of done with it, too. If God is all powerful and knows everything why does he allow Halloween to exist, if it's so horrible? 

I mean, if a partner deliberately put something wonderful and fun in front of you and told you "you can't ever have that" but gave you no explanation and no reason and also made sure you were super curious about it... and then punished you when you inevitably gave in to temptation and checked it out... that'd be abusive. God did just that, and according to fundies still does, since they find so many things to be "ungodly" and "wicked" that God could simply have not created in the first place. 

[thoughtful]

8 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I mean, if a partner deliberately put something wonderful and fun in front of you and told you "you can't ever have that" but gave you no explanation and no reason and also made sure you were super curious about it... and then punished you when you inevitably gave in to temptation and checked it out... that'd be abusive. God did just that, and according to fundies still does, since they find so many things to be "ungodly" and "wicked" that God could simply have not created in the first place. 

Besides taunting Adam and Eve with the tree, God, according to the bible, lied about it, saying they would die that day if they ate of it. Of course, Gary and others, even those who claim the bible is inerrant and needs no interpretation, say it was a "spiritual death."

Only the snake tells the truth in that story. Not to mention that, since it was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, by definition Adam and Eve were unable to know right from wrong before they ate from it.

Other than that story, and a few other instances of their claiming things are a test from God, I think most IFBers chalk temptations and evil things up to Satan. Of course, that brings up the question of why they think God made Satan in the first place.

And I've been trying to figure out what the rules are about people who are saved but somehow still on the naughty list for years. Most of what I've heard as their punishment sounds like it's supposed to happen shortly after they get to heaven -  the film of their sins being shown, the blood of those they didn't godbother dripping from their hands, and not having crowns to throw at Jesus' feet. Maybe those punishments go on for eternity. I don't think there is a set theology about it.

People who say they are saved, but whose testimony seems shaky (i.e., they do things another fundy thinks they shouldn't), mostly get lots of shade thrown at them on this side of the veil, both for whatever the behavior is and due to the suspicion that they are not really saved.

Maybe the super self-righteous people figure that one of their rewards in heaven will be that they still get to treat those people like shit.

Edited October 28, 2023 by thoughtful
riffle

[Xan]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Only the snake tells the truth in that story. Not to mention that, since it was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, by definition Adam and Eve were unable to know right from wrong before they ate from it.

Thank you.  That story even bothered me when I was a child.  So much of the Old Testament is like that. He's just a vengeful, tricky god and seems more like Zeus or Jupiter than the actual Almighty that he's supposed to be.  Why make people, test them, and just throw them out?  Then again, I didn't understand the loyalty test that God gave Abraham by telling him to kill his own son.