M is for Mama 16

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

She has admitted that she does not feel strong emotions (or emotions strongly). She says she rarely cries. She has also mentioned that her oldest daughter is a deep feeler and that she (Abbie) has a hard time relating to her  daughter’s emotions and kindness. TBH, I think AH does feel some emotions: anger, resentment, envy, spite…

Amongst fundies culture, it’s pushed to bury your feelings starting in childhood. Small children are taught to immediately obey. No questions. No crying. No back talk. So even if you are feeling frustrated, angry, powerless, sad, jealous, or depressed, you aren’t supposed to show it or talk about it. Especially women who must keep sweet. They are made to smile through pain and sadness. Therefore I assume many fundies have a major disconnect with their feelings. Maybe they can’t even recognize some feelings as an adult because they were never allowed to. I wonder if Braggie does have some feelings but can’t describe them or name them. Maybe she’s just gotten very good at ignoring or denying them. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I think AH does feel some emotions: anger, resentment, envy, spite…

I think these are the only emotions Braggie has. I'll add rage -- she admits to that one and shows it often.

I will not add love, affection, sympathy, empathy.  We've never seen her display them. I don't believe she can.  She doesn't feel them.

Well ... except maybe went she buys a new Anthro sofa she loves because it was on rad sale with extra coupons. Then she loves something.

[Giraffe]

It's so bizarre to me to sell all of the belongings, too. I understand selling certain things with the house (furniture, appliances) but was it even the kids belongings? That's a new level of weird. If that's the case I feel even more sorry for the kids! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

It's so bizarre to me to sell all of the belongings, too. I understand selling certain things with the house (furniture, appliances) but was it even the kids belongings? That's a new level of weird. If that's the case I feel even more sorry for the kids! 

Remember that one time she got pissed because one of the little boys arranged his toys in his room in a way that wasn’t visually pleasing to braggie? Yeah she’s controlling as hell. So she probably only buys them toys she thinks are cute. So they may not even like their toys that much. 

[SassyPants]

Today’s IG- the family spent an hour (parents included) sliding down the concrete next to a set of stairs in Marseilles. I thought they were in a park. Nope it was stairs that people traverse to navigate the town. Are there no actual parks with playgrounds that these people can take their kids to play in on the European continent?

[anachronistic]

I find it extremely hard to believe that in a busy city, nobody wanted to bring their bike down or just walked down the stairs themselves while they were there. And those people were probably the least inconvenienced probably comic store neroli annoyed and had their travels delayed, by that family. For goodness sake's! There's a reason that they do not make slides out of stones! (the reason his safety, not that Abbie would know what that word is.)

The longer they are there the longer I am astonished that they have not had to have a visit to at least urgent care yet.

[IrishCarrie]

I dip in and out of the Abbie thread, she usually doesn't interest me that much because her utter lack of anything resembling humility or grace or kindness towards others tends to irk me. And I've been making a conscious effort this year to NOT read stuff that's actively irritating me!

But Abbie's thread right now? I. Am. Utterly. Obsessed. Checking it daily, sometimes multiple times.

I'm Irish and mainland Europe is obviously very accessible from here so I've have travelled all through Europe many times in every way possible; on the cheap with a backpack when I was in college and in a more spendy way as I've aged. Never, ever ,in my entire life have I before tried to imagine doing those self-same trips with ten kids. 

IT'D BE A COMPLETE FRICKEN NIGHTMARE, WHO THE HELL WOULD ATTEMPT IT???!!!!

I don't follow Abbie on her Insta or YouTube or any of those things so I really appreciate all the updates from you guys 😘 Keep 'em coming.

Although I might need to see my osteopath if my jaw continues to hang open like this for much longer... 

[SassyPants]

56 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

I find it extremely hard to believe that in a busy city, nobody wanted to bring their bike down or just walked down the stairs themselves while they were there. And those people were probably the least inconvenienced probably comic store neroli annoyed and had their travels delayed, by that family. For goodness sake's! There's a reason that they do not make slides out of stones! (the reason his safety, not that Abbie would know what that word is.)

The longer they are there the longer I am astonished that they have not had to have a visit to at least urgent care yet.

It’s as if Shaun and Abbie think that the Earth and all her glory and beauty were created for them and only their family to inhabit and enjoy. They seemingly do not see or consider other people or others’ needs. They are quite simply narcissists that know no bounds. 

How about instead of spending an hour clogging up the stairs and attempting to slide down concrete planes meant for other purposes, they find a park with a playground for the kids to run and play.

Why can’t they put the kids’ needs first for a change? How can 2 people have 10 children and still not have any basic parenting or child sense or instincts?

 

[Xan]

1 hour ago, IrishCarrie said:

I dip in and out of the Abbie thread, she usually doesn't interest me that much because her utter lack of anything resembling humility or grace or kindness towards others tends to irk me. And I've been making a conscious effort this year to NOT read stuff that's actively irritating me!

But Abbie's thread right now? I. Am. Utterly. Obsessed. Checking it daily, sometimes multiple times.

I'm Irish and mainland Europe is obviously very accessible from here so I've have travelled all through Europe many times in every way possible; on the cheap with a backpack when I was in college and in a more spendy way as I've aged. Never, ever ,in my entire life have I before tried to imagine doing those self-same trips with ten kids. 

IT'D BE A COMPLETE FRICKEN NIGHTMARE, WHO THE HELL WOULD ATTEMPT IT???!!!!

I don't follow Abbie on her Insta or YouTube or any of those things so I really appreciate all the updates from you guys 😘 Keep 'em coming.

Although I might need to see my osteopath if my jaw continues to hang open like this for much longer... 

I'm the same way.  I rarely read over here but I am following this hideous Abbie adventure.  Sliding down concrete almost put me over some edge.  What was she thinking?  And the way she lets the little ones just run around, endangering themselves and generally interfering with normal life?    Who does that?

She and the husband are utterly unable to put the children first -- ever.  They wanted a European vacation and Abbie needed content for her social media.  She's probably going to turn this entire mess into another stupid book.  It doesn't matter if the little ones are bored or tired or hurt.  It doesn't matter if the older kids are exhausted from taking care of the little boys.  The only thing that matters is that Abbie can show off her outfits and her dumb hats.  She gets to show people how her good, god-fearing, Christian family is entitled to have an expensive vacation that none of her followers can afford.

[SassyPants]

And today someone made this comment to her IG and set AH off. She went on and on about all her accomplishments to prove why they deserve this trip. She talks about the world having an “envy” problem. The woman protests far too much.

 

 

Edited May 18, 2023 by SassyPants

[Hane]

5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

And today someone made this comment to her IG and set AH off. She went on and on about all her accomplishments to prove why they deserve this trip. She talks about the world having an “envy” problem. The woman protests far too much.

 

 

What—and I cannot express this emphatically enough—the fuck.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Her head is way too far up Her own ass to ever recognize her extreme privilege. I have way way less money than this woman but I think about my privilege every day. I remind myself of my privilege because I never want to become an entitled asshole and have it mimicked by my kids. I refuse to raise entitled assholes to let loose on this world. 

[Charlie Brown]

Back in 2011 we took our then 5 and 7 year olds on an eight week trip through Europe and the UK with stop overs in Dubai there and back. It was horrendously expensive back then (NZ is far away) but my sister lived in The Netherlands at the time with her family and was coming back to NZ so we knew if we were going to do the trip it was now or never (we also had friends in Oxford, Dubai and the north of England which cut down our accommodation costs considerably). Anyway, Paris absolutely has children's playgrounds. We spent five days there in total doing a mix of things both my husband and I and the children would enjoy - Versailles, Disneyland, Eiffel Tower, visiting toy shops and markets. I would have loved to visit the Louvre but we knew our kids would be bored rigid so we didn't attempt that, just walked around the outside. We spent a wonderful few hours on a Saturday morning at a playground. Our kids had a blast playing with other children, even when they didn't have a common language between them. But I guess Braggie's children wouldn't be allowed to mix with other kids ... Our children were never allowed to run amuck anywhere and expectations for behaviour were very clearly spelt out before every activity. We walked everywhere in a single line, Mum or Dad at front, kids in the middle so no one could wander off and Mum or Dad bringing up the rear. May not work for everyone but it worked for us. I don't understand how they allow 10 kids to run around like ferals, and how they haven't lost anyone is a miracle.

[0 kids n not countin]

7 hours ago, SassyPants said:

It’s as if Shaun and Abbie think that the Earth and all her glory and beauty were created for them and only their family to inhabit and enjoy. They seemingly do not see or consider other people or others’ needs. They are quite simply narcissists that know no bounds. 

How about instead of spending an hour clogging up the stairs and attempting to slide down concrete planes meant for other purposes, they find a park with a playground for the kids to run and play.

Why can’t they put the kids’ needs first for a change? How can 2 people have 10 children and still not have any basic parenting or child sense or instincts?

 

What is wrong these people??  Apparently  it's a thing with like minded people. 🙄  

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

What is wrong these people??  Apparently  it's a thing with like minded people. 🙄  

OMG- these are the kind of people who endorse the criminal, Donald Trump. They support “certain” people being able to act uncivilized and to do whatever they please, and EFF everyone else or anyone who tries to correct their asinine behaviors. 

But by God, don’t you or your children act in kind. No way, no ma’am-

These are the kind of people who think the insurrection on 1/6 was NBD!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve never been to Europe so this is all just second hand knowledge. But I’ve read that in France and some other European countries, children are basically taken everywhere. In the US, children aren’t always taken everywhere. Like people don’t often take little kids to 5 star restaurants. But I’ve read that in France, kids just go where their parents go. And they teach the children how to behave in situations where you have to be quiet or sit still. Now I’m just imagining Braggie’s 3 youngest boys acting like wild animals everywhere they go while all the French parents are appalled by their shitty parenting. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Baxter]

45 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve never been to Europe so this is all just second hand knowledge. But I’ve read that in France and some other European countries, children are basically taken everywhere. In the US, children aren’t always taken everywhere. Like people don’t often take little kids to 5 star restaurants. But I’ve read that in France, kids just go where their parents go. And they teach the children how to behave in situations where you have to be quiet or sit still. Now I’m just imagining Braggie’s 3 youngest boys acting like wild animals everywhere they go while all the French parents are appalled by their shitty parenting. 

I'm guessing that most French parents only have two or three children so it would be much easier to teach them to sit quietly at a restaurant and to monitor their behavior. 

My husband and I took our son to a very quiet high end restaurant when he was two. My husband was at a conference and his childless coworker had chosen the place. Usually I would not have picked that sort of place because there really wasn't anywhere I could go with him if he started to act up. 

But my son was used to eating out and behaving properly. I think being in this sort of restaurant and sitting at a table with unfamiliar people was a novelty for him so he was a model child and quietly played with some little toys we has brought. Someone actually came up to me near the end of dinner and told me how well behaved he was.

So yes it is possible to take little kids to nice places. But I think it would be very hard to take that many little kids to somewhere like that. But then again so many of Abbie's problems are self-made by having way more children than she and Shaun can handle. 

[Ozlsn]

16 hours ago, SassyPants said:

And today someone made this comment to her IG and set AH off. She went on and on about all her accomplishments to prove why they deserve this trip. She talks about the world having an “envy” problem. The woman protests far too much

What was interesting to me in the comments was that she's all "10 kids is hard in different ways" which yes... but also if you have resources and are able to feed, house and clothe them without stress it's a lot easier than if you're in a financially precarious situation, even with fewer kids. She doesn't have the empathy and humility to see that her situation, with 10 kids by choice, stable income and enough for a long trip to Europe is a lot easier than being in a situation not of your making with limited options. 

16 hours ago, Xan said:

She and the husband are utterly unable to put the children first -- ever. 

Agreed. I googled "playgrounds in Marseille" and had multiple options pop up.  It would be so much easier to take them to a park, surely?

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

What was interesting to me in the comments was that she's all "10 kids is hard in different ways" which yes... but also if you have resources and are able to feed, house and clothe them without stress it's a lot easier than if you're in a financially precarious situation, even with fewer kids. She doesn't have the empathy and humility to see that her situation, with 10 kids by choice, stable income and enough for a long trip to Europe is a lot easier than being in a situation not of your making with limited options. 

Agreed. I googled "playgrounds in Marseille" and had multiple options pop up.  It would be so much easier to take them to a park, surely?

I totally agree. She has no idea how much harder her life would be if they were living on an average American income. Isn’t it like 50-60,000? She purposely makes her life more difficult. She might secretly know how over privileged she is and needs to make content so she comes up with the most ridiculous schemes. It’s all an act. And Braggie is the star 😐

[Pammy]

To be fair though, in Marseilles, there's no reason to believe that this particular staircase was any kind of 'fancy place' like a capitol building. North Americans see things like a marble staircase and our minds think it must be someplace special, to be respected. In Europe, lots of ordinary places look like that.

It doesn't seem like many other people wanted to use those stairs at that time (not that *she* would care if they did), but personally if I had an hour to kill (maybe waiting for something) I can see having let my kids play around in a place like that during my family's Europe trip. (My *two* kids were 11 and 14 at the time.)

(For example, my kids played, ran around, and did about 100 silly trick photos for an hour while we waited to climb the tour of Pisa. They were bothering no one -- I hope -- and keeping of the grass! But still being playful and physical and silly. I don't think I needed to take them to away to a playground for them to have a bit of fun.)

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, Pammy said:

To be fair though, in Marseilles, there's no reason to believe that this particular staircase was any kind of 'fancy place' like a capitol building. North Americans see things like a marble staircase and our minds think it must be someplace special, to be respected. In Europe, lots of ordinary places look like that.

It doesn't seem like many other people wanted to use those stairs at that time (not that *she* would care if they did), but personally if I had an hour to kill (maybe waiting for something) I can see having let my kids play around in a place like that during my family's Europe trip. (My *two* kids were 11 and 14 at the time.)

(For example, my kids played, ran around, and did about 100 silly trick photos for an hour while we waited to climb the tour of Pisa. They were bothering no one -- I hope -- and keeping of the grass! But still being playful and physical and silly. I don't think I needed to take them to away to a playground for them to have a bit of fun.)

However, I do doubt that they chose that spot, in advance, for an outing. And that is key to me. It wasn’t like she googled fun places to take young kids and picked that spot (because if she had, she’d have droned on about it). My 2 biggest beefs: 1) they never seem to plan anything in advance for the the youngest children to do (aNF are then shocked when the little ones act out) and 2) they seemingly do not consider others when they choose to go rogue. Abbie admits that she and Shaun (actually posted him) slid down the concrete too. If you want to act wild as a family, go somewhere that is conducive to acting wild. I seriously doubt they would have cared if there were many people using those stairs. They would have still acted like banshees.

 

[Wifey4Lifey]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I totally agree. She has no idea how much harder her life would be if they were living on an average American income. Isn’t it like 50-60,000? She purposely makes her life more difficult. She might secretly know how over privileged she is and needs to make content so she comes up with the most ridiculous schemes. It’s all an act. And Braggie is the star 😐

The tone-deafness of it all is astounding. This trip likely costs more than most Americans make in a year. And yet she's pretending that dealing with toddlers who are off their normal sleep schedule (which, to be fair, I'm sure is indeed hard) is the same type of hard as not having the money to feed said toddlers. And almost worse than her making that claim is all of her followers eating it up and defending her. 

 

On a totally different topic, their itinerary confuses me a little. When I first heard six countries in six weeks, I assumed they'd be spending roughly the same amount of time in each. But they're just now leaving France after almost three weeks there. I understand some places are going to interest them more than others, but it just seems like an odd way to split it up to me. At this rate I'm guessing Germany, Austria, and Switzerland are basically going to be an afterthought with only 1-2 days spent in each. 

[MomKB]

On 5/18/2023 at 10:38 AM, SassyPants said:

And today someone made this comment to her IG and set AH off. She went on and on about all her accomplishments to prove why they deserve this trip. She talks about the world having an “envy” problem. The woman protests far too much.

 

 

Wow, she totally shamed anyone who envies her, while as the same time doing the "poor me" routine, for having to put up with toddler meltdowns, etc. in Europe. Unbelievable. 

[Ozlsn]

5 hours ago, Wifey4Lifey said:

At this rate I'm guessing Germany, Austria, and Switzerland are basically going to be an afterthought with only 1-2 days spent in each. 

Guessing they'll be driving through Switzerland on the way to Italy, maybe stopping for lunch. Austria maybe overnight, a bit longer in Germany. Wonder if they're including Monaco in there.

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

they never seem to plan anything in advance for the the youngest children to do (aNF are then shocked when the little ones act out)

This is what surprises me too. You don't see either of them supervising the littlest kids at a playground which is boring Shaun and Abbie to tears but which the kids are really enjoying. I have no doubt sliding down the staircase was great fun, but I wonder what it was on the way to/from, and whose interests that activity was serving.

Have to say the places they've stayed so far are beautiful, wishing I could travel now!

[theotherelise]

Abbie and Shaun are going on weekly date nights alone in Europe while leaving their ten minor children (2-16yo) with a nanny they paid to bring on the trip. That privilege is laughably massive. 

Her life is only hard as a result of choices she’s made.