Josh and Anna 57: Singing the I'm Stuck in the SHU Blues

[Giraffe]

30 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wouldn’t be surprised if Mack wanted to get married and move out of Arkansas at 18 so she could get a name change and a new town. 

It'll be interesting what Mack, Josie, and Jennifer* do when they turn 18. 
 

*Jennifer's the second youngest? Otherwise I mean Jordyn

[mango_fandango]

Ah yeah, I forgot the ages of the eldest M kids, particularly Mackynzie being 14. I can absolutely imagine her wanting to change her name as soon as possible; I sure as hell would if it was me.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

A bit off topic but I always felt bad for Jenny. She’s so quiet and the house must be so loud.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Ah yeah, I forgot the ages of the eldest M kids, particularly Mackynzie being 14. I can absolutely imagine her wanting to change her name as soon as possible; I sure as hell would if it was me.

I love my privacy. And I’ve never even had 2 seconds of fame! Nor has my family. But if I was in Mackenzie’s shoes, I would probably marry young, move out of state, start going by Kenzie instead of Mackenzie, have zero social media, and ask all my family and friends to never post a picture of me on their social media pages. 

[viii]

11 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

A bit off topic but I always felt bad for Jenny. She’s so quiet and the house must be so loud.

Is the house still that loud, though? I'm sure when the family is over then it is, but there's only got to be a handful of kids left living at home, I think, and it's a big house. 

[Mama Mia]

5 minutes ago, viii said:

Is the house still that loud, though? I'm sure when the family is over then it is, but there's only got to be a handful of kids left living at home, I think, and it's a big house. 

I think there are 5 or 6? Teens/ early 20’s still full-time at home. And probably the M’s and various other kids and grandkids in and out a lot. Don’t Jana and another single adult have ADU type set ups on the property? And Joe has a house there. But still MASSIVE house and grounds. And many of the ones still left seem to travel quite a bit.  That would be a big culture shock from having constant noise and activity 24/7 to being able to hide out in one of the rooms and ignore folks for long stretches. 

[SassyPants]

15 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

A bit off topic but I always felt bad for Jenny. She’s so quiet and the house must be so loud.

These zoo houses would be awful for a person who hates noise. I am 1 of those people. I always knew I would never have a houseful of kids because I cannot stand extraneous noise. 

[Giraffe]

12 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

These zoo houses would be awful for a person who hates noise. I am 1 of those people. I always knew I would never have a houseful of kids because I cannot stand extraneous noise. 

I always wonder how the introverts or neurodivergent kids fare in these mega families. I have some processing disorders and adhd along with being very, very introverted.  I can't imagine how difficult life in those families would've been for me. I probably would've "loved" cleaning alone or doing any other chore everyone else hated just so I could be alone!

[JermajestyDuggar]

49 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

These zoo houses would be awful for a person who hates noise. I am 1 of those people. I always knew I would never have a houseful of kids because I cannot stand extraneous noise. 

Same. I have a hard time with constant or prolonged noise. As a teen, I realized how much I loved being alone. And that was because I had anxiety. I would have been miserable in a house like theirs as a teen. I still love being alone. But I am rarely ever home alone. 

[Cam]

I feel in a family that large, most interaction is very superficial. I can handle a big crowd sometimes, but I also have a need to connect one on one with people or in small groups of about four-ish. I’d have like to known my husband’s sisters better, but they’re always with spouse and/or kids. They never visit by themselves. I’m never around my sister’s adult kids unless she is right there,  so I rarely have any conversations with them without her input. My siblings like big family pow wows, but I limit myself to twice a year with them because it all becomes “groupthink” where the parentified sisters tell us what we are supposed to think. They want me there but they dislike if I speak. Um, no thanks. 

So with the Duggars, I don’t think there’s much of a connection to each other on any deeper level. It’s just a bunch of people caught up in the trivia of every day routines: cooking, cleaning, eating, going to the store, hanging out together while texting on phones.  Someone always coming or going, always interruptions. No serious conversations. I don’t think the parents ever encouraged close relationships between siblings and may have even discouraged it. 

 

Edited January 9 by Cam

[libgirl2]

I'm an only child, my house was usually quiet and peaceful. I only have one child, so it is just the three of us. Other than my husband having a booming voice, we are pretty quiet. At work, my manager is super sensitive to noise to the point of rudeness and we are a quiet workroom! 

[Alisamer]

6 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

I think there are 5 or 6? Teens/ early 20’s still full-time at home. And probably the M’s and various other kids and grandkids in and out a lot. Don’t Jana and another single adult have ADU type set ups on the property? And Joe has a house there. But still MASSIVE house and grounds. And many of the ones still left seem to travel quite a bit.  That would be a big culture shock from having constant noise and activity 24/7 to being able to hide out in one of the rooms and ignore folks for long stretches. 

I think the problem with the TTH is that it's a big OPEN house. There really aren't that many rooms, are there? And I'd bet the M kids are there a LOT. So it's probably a bit calmer than it was 10 years ago, but still unlikely to be really quiet. Not much solitude to be had - and that's by design, I think. The Duggars don't want the kids to have privacy, everything they do is mom and dad's business. They saw what Josh did with any privacy or semi-privacy allowed, and that was not good. 

 

[Zebedee]

45 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

think the problem with the TTH is that it's a big OPEN house. There really aren't that many rooms, are there?

Exactly. It might be much quieter now, but where can you be alone? Until there is only one girl/boy and JB and M, there is nowhere to just close the door and be alone. And even if you are the last kid at the TTH, I don’t think you get the “luxury” of a closed door meaning “do not disturb”. Maybe JB won’t go into the girls’ “room”, but I bet he’ll still summon Josie or whoever on that damned intercom.

But, as said, it’s all by design. I can’t imagine having to live like that. I get antsy when my partner is here a couple of days longer than usual. And he leaves me alone, mostly. If I close my door, he will really leave me alone. I just know he’s there, making a mess….

[viii]

That's a really good point. I remembered that it was a big house, but I forgot just how little it actually is in terms of rooms and space. 

[gustava]

18 hours ago, Zebedee said:

where can you be alone

The prayer closet?

[JermajestyDuggar]

I would hide in that crawl space above the boys room. They got a crawl space but the girls didn’t. I think they got a sewing nook.

Edited January 10 by JermajestyDuggar

[Father Son Holy Goat]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would hide in that crawl space above the boys room. They got a crawl space but the girls didn’t. I think they got a sewing nook.

Remember when they asked all the kids what they wanted and Josiah wanted a place to hide?

[Mama Mia]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would hide in that crawl space above the boys room. They got a crawl space but the girls didn’t. I think they got a sewing nook.

Each of those dorms is ginormous. Around 700 sq ft each, with 2 bathrooms. About the size of an average 2 bedroom apartment.  I think between the sewing room / av room / prayer closet / playroom / grandma Mary’s old room / pantry etc they can probably find some quiet space now, despite the absolutely atrocious use of space.  The boys room now must be just Jackson and James? Jason? I think one of them lives in an RV or Treehouse. 
I wonder if they have any outside people living there full-time. They probably don’t need full time tutors anymore, only the 3 youngest girls in school. Unless they combine with the M’s. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

16 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

They probably don’t need full time tutors anymore, only the 3 youngest girls in school. Unless they combine with the M’s. 

Don’t they combine with the Ms as well as the Seewalds? Likely Joe’s kids and other grandchildren too. Maybe that will be less true as it gets to be a bigger crowd.

[Alisamer]

43 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Don’t they combine with the Ms as well as the Seewalds? Likely Joe’s kids and other grandchildren too. Maybe that will be less true as it gets to be a bigger crowd.

Perhaps we've discovered a good use for that ridiculous house! Move everyone out, convert the "dorm rooms" into classrooms, and divide the kids into groups by age. Then hire 2 or 3 actual teachers to do the whole "old fashioned one room school house" teaching there for all the grandkids. They'll have enough to fill it up. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

9 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Perhaps we've discovered a good use for that ridiculous house! Move everyone out, convert the "dorm rooms" into classrooms, and divide the kids into groups by age. Then hire 2 or 3 actual teachers to do the whole "old fashioned one room school house" teaching there for all the grandkids. They'll have enough to fill it up. 

They wouldn’t have to worry about dating at school either. 

Of course your idea has one fatal flaw, it makes too much sense therefore they won’t do it.

[nolongerIFBx]

On 12/21/2023 at 10:16 PM, flowergirl said:

In Germany, prisoners keep their right to vote. And I'm so glad they do. 

But also, here every vote counts equally. We don't have electoral college. Just thinking that only the votes of the majority of people count, while the other votes are simply "lost". That sounds so frustrating and really not fair. 

When elections of the US president come up and I hear about "state x votes red/blue, that y amount of presidential electors" I'm like "but what about the other votes? People voted, their votes should matter, that's how democracy works". 

Except that one large US city has so many people that rural voters would be the ones whose votes don't count even though we make up the majority of land mass of the US. Taxation without representation started this whole thing. I saw it on a smaller scale in my state where the two major cities voted against rural voters on a farm issue and won the vote even though they have no experience of what it is like to live and work on a farm/in a rural area and the outcome wouldn't affect them while it could people who have been farming here for a century and could no longer afford to keep doing so under the new conditions.

[tanba]

3 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Except that one large US city has so many people that rural voters would be the ones whose votes don't count even though we make up the majority of land mass of the US. Taxation without representation started this whole thing. I saw it on a smaller scale in my state where the two major cities voted against rural voters on a farm issue and won the vote even though they have no experience of what it is like to live and work on a farm/in a rural area and the outcome wouldn't affect them while it could people who have been farming here for a century and could no longer afford to keep doing so under the new conditions.

I mean, why would land mass get a vote? Sure, it’s problematic if majority groups suppress minority groups, but this argument could easily be used to explain why rich people should have more of a vote, since they own more land. Icky to me.

[anjulibai]

Yeah, the landmass argument has never made sense to me. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Yeah, the landmass argument has never made sense to me. 

Me either. One person, one vote. It’s simple.