Maxwell 51: Empty Nesters, Empty Vesters? End of an Era

[kpmom]

13 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

 

Unpopular opinion: I see finding a partner for fundie woman as being rather limiting. Usually they have a new headship before they've fully escaped the old one. Yes, Anna and Mary have left Steve's house, but they're still under the headship of a very strict bible college. Mary in particular is young, and has many years ahead of her. I would like for her to have more time to figure out things.

This is Free Jinger.   Believing finding a partner for a fundie woman as being rather limiting is hardly an unpopular opinion here.  Most of us here would like for Mary to have more time to figure things out.

We are talking about it and speculating because so many of us wondered if the sisters would ever escape Maxhell, and marriage is usually the only fundie approved way to do so.  It's hard to believe Steve all of the sudden changed his mind about sending any of his kids to college, or careers for women, and we are assuming there's more to the story.

 

 

[fundiefan]

On 1/1/2022 at 9:21 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Anna and Marry are having fun wrapping a friend at the Christmas party. Mary’s male friend is behind her. Look at that genuine smile.

And here is Mary obviously watching a movie as a group. Those are couches not seats in an auditorium. So it must be a movie or a tv show. What would Steve think?

I am behind after days & days away from the online world. I was just going to share the gorgeous, natural, almost breathtaking picture of Mary. So naturally happy. So comfortable in her own skin. 

19 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

We don’t actually know anything about Mary and this guy. They could just be standing next to each other by chance, right? Aren’t we making rather a lot of assumptions about them? 

Probably. But that is nothing new here. It's what we do. Speculate. Guess. Deductive Reasoning. Break thee server when a fundie does something outside their image. 

[usedbicycle]

16 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Thus fornication, adultery, incest, sexual abuse of a minor, homosexuality, indecent exposure, sexual harassment, and other such activities are forbidden.

A perfect example of the damaging Sin is Sin mindset, where pedophilia and incest are just "activities" thrown into the same bag as masturbation and premarital sex. This is what enables predators. "I touch little girls, but he masturbates. I guess we're all sinners under the cross!"

Edited January 5, 2022 by usedbicycle

[HereticHick]

20 hours ago, BabiesForBucks said:

Mary Maxwell is FB friends with Samuel Hock's parents Keith and Wendy, missionaries to Uruguay.

They still could be just good friends and A and M could have come to know the family through their international missions adventures.

Though Steve M could not grasp the concept of a man and a woman being just friends.

I see she is also friends with one of Samuel's sisters in law.  I speculate that A and M knew this family, probably through their mysterious mission trips, even before they started studying online at ABC. For all we know, A and M have traveled to Uruguay.  It is very possible that it was the Hock family that suggested they attend ABC--and their local pastor encouraged it as well. Or maybe their local pastor is an ABC alum as well. As far as we know, Keith and Wendy could also be ABC alums.

[Bethy]

On 1/4/2022 at 5:08 PM, BabiesForBucks said:

Mary Maxwell is FB friends with Samuel Hock's parents Keith and Wendy, missionaries to Uruguay.

They still could be just good friends and A and M could have come to know the family through their international missions adventures.

Though Steve M could not grasp the concept of a man and a woman being just friends.

There's a lot of baggage around mixed-gender friendships in these circles. I worked at a family camp/conference center for a while in college (and I wouldn't describe it as "fundy," but definitely very conservative and purity-culture-ish) and their official stance on friendship was literally "Don't form friendships with the opposite sex, because after you're married you won't have any friendships with anyone from the opposite sex, so it would be a waste of time to have those friends now."

Surprise, 20+ years later, I'm married, and some of my closest friends are men. Come to find out, having priorities and interests in common makes for good friendships no matter what your gender, and I have yet to "fall into bed" with any of them. But that took a ton of unpacking over multiple decades and I wasn't nearly as deep in it as the Maxes were/are.

[JermajestyDuggar]

The thing is, Mary is always seen with Sam. Not Anna. It’s always Mary. So I imagine they are getting to know each other. It could turn into something more or they could part. We shall see.

[ContrastingButtons]

On 1/3/2022 at 4:31 PM, Mrs Ms said:

And contrasting buttons on the dress. (Were Steve and Terrie nutty about young children’s buttons too or was that just reserved for older hussies?)

Contrasting buttons, you say?!?  I never thought I’d see the day! 😂 

[Mrs Ms]

7 hours ago, ContrastingButtons said:

Contrasting buttons, you say?!?  I never thought I’d see the day! 😂 

When I FINALLY noticed your username, this got even funnier! 😂

[ContrastingButtons]

14 minutes ago, Mrs Ms said:

When I FINALLY noticed your username, this got even funnier! 😂

I briefly considered the name “cheese paper”, but knew only Maxwell folks would get it.  “Contrasting buttons” is a Maxwell hang up, but also more of a general fundie reference to that nasty business of drawing men’s eyes away from one’s countenance.

Those darn eye traps!  

Edited January 6, 2022 by ContrastingButtons
Clairity

[ElizaB]

Do any internet sleuths know if Elissa wearing pants is actually a new thing? Did the entire Maxwell family had a huge shake up or did they finally just start posting more things like this online? I have a feeling the Sarah wearing pants in new but I do wonder if a lot of the "extended" family has relaxed a lot of rules for some time now. 

[fundiefan]

2 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

Do any internet sleuths know if Elissa wearing pants is actually a new thing? Did the entire Maxwell family had a huge shake up or did they finally just start posting more things like this online? I have a feeling the Sarah wearing pants in new but I do wonder if a lot of the "extended" family has relaxed a lot of rules for some time now. 

It's an image thing, no doubt. With the blog, the only things we saw were carefully crafted by Sarah and approved by Steve. We saw what they wanted people to see. Now, the blog isn't the source - we see pictures of the families without Steve's filter. 

I'd bet most of the marrieds, except Christopher, have had far less strict rules than Steve & just appeased him when in his pictures on his blog. 

An unfiltered view is always more realistic than the filtered view of a control freak narcissist. 

I think it's new for Sarah and "the girls" as well, but not for the married families. 

[Black Aliss]

On 1/4/2022 at 2:58 PM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

4. Couples

Any male and female, dating or non-dating, alone together. This does not include brother and sister, or married students.

 

In none of these rules does their code of conduct acknowledge the possibility of same-sex relationships. But that simply wouldn't happen under any circumstances. 

Never mind. I see they lead with that restriction, lumped in with adultery and pedophilia. I'm surprised they didn't also mention bestiality in that sentence.

Edited January 6, 2022 by Black Aliss

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

In none of these rules does their code of conduct acknowledge the possibility of same-sex relationships. But that simply wouldn't happen under any circumstances. 

Never mind. I see they lead with that restriction, lumped in with adultery and pedophilia. I'm surprised they didn't also mention bestiality in that sentence.

It's  also in the displays of public affection section:

Quote

2. Display of Affection

There is to be no display of affection through physical contact (including holding hands) on the part of non-married couples on or off campus. Physical contact between members of the same gender must be within the bounds of biblically acceptable behavior.

As for bestiality, probably no animals on campus.

[Black Aliss]

1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

2. Display of Affection

There is to be no display of affection through physical contact (including holding hands) on the part of non-married couples on or off campus. Physical contact between members of the same gender must be within the bounds of biblically acceptable behavior.

Well, that gives them a lot of leeway, the brethren anyway:

Quote

 

Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. 1 Thessalonians 5:26

All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. 1 Corinthians 16:20

Greet one another with an holy kiss. 2 Corinthians 13:12

Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. Romans 16:16

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen. 1 Peter 5:14

And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even Gentiles do the same? Matthew 5:47

 

That last admonition sounds like the brethren are really supposed to take it to second base, at a minimum, to show they are better than the Gentiles.

 

[Howl]

Does the bible at any point reference anything specific about sexual relationships between women? 

 

[Alisamer]

Wow, dating couples are not even allowed to sit together in chapel? I thought sharing a hymn book was a big deal in these sort of college relationships. Like a public statement of "we're getting to know each other".  They might even touch pinky fingers accidentally. Scandalous!

On 1/5/2022 at 10:32 AM, usedbicycle said:

A perfect example of the damaging Sin is Sin mindset, where pedophilia and incest are just "activities" thrown into the same bag as masturbation and premarital sex. This is what enables predators. "I touch little girls, but he masturbates. I guess we're all sinners under the cross!"

I noticed this too. They are essentially saying that molesting children and mooning somebody are similar "sins". Ridiculous.

[freejugar]

The idea of missionaries going to Uruguay is hilarious to me. I'm from Argentina so the culture is pretty similar. 

50% of the population doesn't practice any religion, the highest percentage in the american continent. https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religión_en_Uruguay

If Anna and Mary did visit Uruguay, I hope they got to enjoy their beaches!

Edited January 7, 2022 by freejugar

[Black Aliss]

3 hours ago, Howl said:

Does the bible at any point reference anything specific about sexual relationships between women? 

 

Nope. Not a peep. Not specifically and not vaguely either. Not even in the Old Testament.

2 hours ago, freejugar said:

The idea of missionaries going to Uruguay is hilarious to me. I'm from Argentina so the culture is pretty similar. 

I'd like to think the "missionaries" are really undercover Nazi hunters. A vocation that should be dying out by now.

[theologygeek]

On 1/6/2022 at 11:36 AM, ElizaB said:

Do any internet sleuths know if Elissa wearing pants is actually a new thing? Did the entire Maxwell family had a huge shake up or did they finally just start posting more things like this online? I have a feeling the Sarah wearing pants in new but I do wonder if a lot of the "extended" family has relaxed a lot of rules for some time now. 

I was bored one day and was looking around.  Joseph and Jesse made a youtube video for Joseph's business.  Joseph is in a Santa Claus hat.  Start at the 30:37 mark.  They said something about people celebrating other holidays besides Christmas.  Never thought I'd hear those words coming out of the mouth of a Maxwell.  

 

[BigSandy]

1 hour ago, theologygeek said:

I was bored one day and was looking around.  Joseph and Jesse made a youtube video for Joseph's business.  Joseph is in a Santa Claus hat.  Start at the 30:37 mark.  They said something about people celebrating other holidays besides Christmas.  Never thought I'd hear those words coming out of the mouth of a Maxwell.  

 

Wow! Good for them, recognizing that there are other holidays! Granted, the bar is so low; for most people I would be like "big deal, and they can't even name the 'other ones'" but for the Maxwells, I think that's huge!

[Black Aliss]

2 hours ago, theologygeek said:

I was bored one day and was looking around.  Joseph and Jesse made a youtube video for Joseph's business.  Joseph is in a Santa Claus hat.  Start at the 30:37 mark.  They said something about people celebrating other holidays besides Christmas.  Never thought I'd hear those words coming out of the mouth of a Maxwell.  

The Santa hat and there is a Christmas tree in the background. Fetch me my smelling salts!

My memory is that Steve forbade Christmas trees and I remember when Joseph was betrothed to Elizabeth Munck there was some concern about this match not working out because the Muncks kept their tree up all year 'round and redecorated it for every holiday.

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

The Santa hat and there is a Christmas tree in the background. Fetch me my smelling salts!

My memory is that Steve forbade Christmas trees and I remember when Joseph was betrothed to Elizabeth Munck there was some concern about this match not working out because the Muncks kept their tree up all year 'round and redecorated it for every holiday.

The Munck’s house seemed down right fun compared to Maxhell!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I bet most of the married Maxes have trees up for Christmas. 

[kpmom]

52 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

The Santa hat and there is a Christmas tree in the background. Fetch me my smelling salts!

 

At one point they called their team members rock stars!  Do Maxwells know what an actual rock star is?  I mean they were brought up by a man who whited out the words to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in their music books.

[fundiewatch]

I think Nathan and family have been attending an in-person church for a very long time. They even led nursing home church while the MaxFam was away, but they met in church. They have more mainstream family through Melanie too. I’ll bet Steve regrets allowing the reversals attend though, and Sarah. Because he lost control. And it’s glorious. 
 

Joe and Elissa moving away was a big crack in the control. Jesse’s Anna never even inhabited the DebtFreeHouse. John has rocked things less in some ways, but he loves his firecracker (🙄) Chelsy, and her fam broke the engagement news. In pants! Maybe for the first MaxEver? 
 

I really love these updates, however people find them. It’s inspiring, legitimately, to see these stories take such a surprising turn. Also fuck Steve and all the narcissists out there. (Including my husband’s ex-wife.) FREEDOM! Haha.