Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 34

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[fraurosena]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Governor Duct Tape"

Quote

As a former gigging musician, I can truly appreciate the importance of duct tape. A guitar player will have guitar strings, pedals, straps, cables, picks, set lists, and other assorted musician goodies in his gig bag, but one of the more important essentials is duct tape. What’s the specific use of duct tape at a show for a rock band? There isn’t one but you never know what’s going to come up. Mostly though, you use it to tape cables to the floor so people don’t trip over them, including band members. I once did a show without a stage (did a LOT of those) and we were placed in front of the bathroom. People were walking between me and the bass player while we were playing. Duct tape was very important that night.

The company Johnson & Johnson invented duct tape for the military to use during World War II. They needed something waterproof to keep moisture out of ammunition cases. Duct tape literally helped us beat fascism. Too bad it was never used to strap down fascist Trump. But maybe we can use it on other gropey elected officials…even those who are not fascists and are actually pretty good at their jobs. Hey, it worked on an unruly airline passenger.

Things have been intense in the air lately. A lot of people flying have been really upset over airline mask mandates and causing a scene. They’ve even been getting violent with flight attendants. In fact, airlines are now offering martial arts classes to their flight attendants. And people know about the mask mandates before they get on the planes.

Last year, I had to wear a mask on a flight from Washington to Houston to Memphis, and then back from Memphis to Chicago to Washington. Last June, I had to wear a face mask on a train all the way from Fredericksburg to New York City and back. While in the city, I had to wear it each time I got on the subway and even in the stations. Wearing a face mask all that time sucked, but it’s not really a big deal. It didn’t make me take swings at people or scream like an overgrown crybaby.

The Federal Aviation Administration reported 3,271 cases of unruly behavior by passengers in the first half of 2021, including 2,475 instances where passengers refused to comply with the federal face mask mandate. Surprised? No, we are not. We know MAGAts are entitled assholes.

Some airlines have suspended selling alcohol on flights. One flight attendant had two of her teeth knocked out by a passenger.

On a Frontier Airlines flight from Philadelphia to Miami last Saturday, flight attendants had to literally strap a passenger to his seat with duct tape. Going from Philly to Miami, they should have known this wasn’t going to end well. Philadelphia is a city that booed Santa Claus and Miami….well, Miami is in Florida.

Maxwell (why does that make me think about a silver hammer?) Wilkinson Berry, a seriously entitled 22-year old, was caught on video screaming about how entitled he is. He was screaming that his grandfather is an attorney and hollered, “My parents are worth more than fucking two million goddamn dollars!” Not just any dollars…but “goddamn” dollars. Those are the more serious dollars only given to entitled families, like MWB’s family (I’m assuming his trust-fund baby friends call him “MWB”).

So anyway, this spoiled asshole got his stupid ass duct taped to his seat and his fellow passengers started started cheering and laughing at him.

Before he got duct taped, Barry took a swing at a flight attendant. He also groped a couple and grabbed some boobs. At one point, he took his shirt off so everyone could see his entitled pecs. The video of him being an entitled asshole has been viewed on Twitter nearly ten million times….I’m sorry…nearly ten million goddamn times. Barry is so entitled, instead of apologizing, he tweeted his outrage at being “dehumanized” on the flight and on Twitter.

The entitled asshole tweeted, “This will forever be the most dehumanizing experience in my entire life. Many people laughed and ridiculed me as I was mistreated by staff of a PROFESSIONAL airline. Just to make matters worth this has gone “viral” on the internet and will never disappear. My life will never be…”

I think he was still drinking while he sent that tweet. So, everybody stop making fun of Baby Barry. He’s getting upset.

Barry has been charged with three misdemeanor counts of battery, but maybe he truly is entitled because the flight crew has been suspended with pay pending an investigation. How dare they strap a rich white boy to his seat with duct tape…even though he was throwing punches and groping. That is some serious white privilege. Next time, strap his ass to one of the wings.

Another investigation of an entitled rich person says New York governor Andrew Cuomo is a Gropey McCroperson. Cuomo’s defense was, “I’m a gropey person. I grope everybody, women, men, children, white people, black people, Asians, puppies…I’ll grope you right now. C’mere….don’t you run from me.”

New York is a Democratic state and the Democratic Party may impeach their Democratic governor. The findings of the investigation were announced by the state’s Democratic attorney general. The nation’s Democratic president has called for Cuomo to resign. While Democrats will remove a fellow Democrat for sexual assault, Republicans would say of their own, “He says he didn’t do it.”

Charlotte Bennett, a former state employee and one of Cuomo’s victims, said, “It wasn’t an apology and he didn’t take accountability for his actions. He blamed me and said that I simply misinterpreted what he had said.” Yeah…I hate when people misinterpret when I grab them by the ass.

The state assembly session starts next month (in case you’re a Republican, that’s September), but Bennet says that’s not soon enough and they need to remove Cuomo now. I don’t live in New York so I’m not totally aware of how their system works, but in most states, a legislature can’t call itself into a special session. Only a governor can do that. And in case you weren’t paying attention (Republicans), the governor of New York is Andrew Cuomo. Good luck removing him before September.

The investigation concluded he had sexually harassed at least 11 women and violated state and federal law in the process. The speaker of the state assembly said Cuomo “has lost the confidence of the Assembly Democratic majority and that he can no longer remain in office.”

Part of Cuomo’s defense was showing multiple photos of him touching the faces of many people, with one of them being the president of the United States (the actual president, Republicans). When asked about this touchy-feely incident, President Biden said, “Look, I’m not going to flyspeck this. I am sure there were some embraces that were totally innocent, but apparently the attorney general decided there were things that weren’t.” Biden is old. What the hell is “flyspeck?” When asked about the president’s comments, Cuomo said, “I’ll grope that flyspeck.”

White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki said, “I don’t know that anyone could have watched this morning and not found the allegations to be abhorrent. I know I certainly did.” When asked about Psaki’s comments, Cuomo said, “Mmmmmmm.”

I’ve always liked Cuomo. I appreciated how straightforward and direct he was during the pandemic. He was the best source of information at the time about the virus while the president (sic…and the former fake one) of the United States was playing it down, telling us to use malaria medication and to shoot disinfectant up our asses. I always thought Cuomo was on the right side politically and would be a future president. Not anymore. He needs to resign…and if you can’t remove him from office until September…

…maybe strap him down with duct tape.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"GOP Comedy Night"

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Greg Gutfeld is a very unfunny person who thinks he’s funny. Fox News must think he’s funny because he has a show…but then again, Laura Ingraham has a show there too and it’s impossible, even for Fox News fuckers, to find her funny. But Greg Gutfeld is at least supposed to be funny. He does a show where he’s very sardonic which he mistakes for sarcasm. Instead of being funny, Gutfeld is cruel. But why is Greg Gutfeld so unfunny? It’s because he’s a Republican.

Republicans suck at humor. In fact, they believe cruelty is hilarious. Ever watch a Trump rally on TV? Ever been to a Trump rally? It’s horrible. The truth is, liberals own humor. No, not every liberal is funny but every funny person is a liberal. It’s the trade off for not every Republican being racist, but every racist is a Republican.

Here’s the difference: Greg Gutfeld bills himself as the conservative Jon Stewart (except Jon Stewart is actually funny). No comedian, or anyone for that matter, will EVER refer to him or herself as the liberal Greg Gutfeld. Now, if someone ever says you’re the liberal Greg Gutfeld, that means they don’t think you’re funny. That would actually be funny.

Why do Republicans suck at humor? They’re not critical thinkers. Ever meet a funny lemming? I’m sure open mic nights at your local cult is chock full of amazing talent.

They tend to punch down which is never funny. Beating up on the disadvantaged is mean, not funny. Beating up on assholes in power is hilarious. It’s better to hit people who deserve it. For example: It’s not funny to make fun of your grandfather for having dentures or for wearing an adult diaper. But it’s HILARIOUS to make fun of Donald Trump for having dentures and wearing an adult diaper. Now, if you’re grandfather is an old evil fuck, then have at it.

When I was freelancing for The Costa Rica Star, I had a very unfunny pro-Trump conservative editor (conservative Canadian in Costa Rica. Why? I don’t get why people who hate brown people retire to Central America and then act like they own the place). He once asked me to draw a cartoon making fun of immigrants fleeing for their lives into Costa Rica from Honduras. He thought punching down on them would be hilarious. Naturally, I found a polite way to tell him to go fuck himself which would have been hilarious if that wasn’t a metaphor for me simply saying, “No.”

Which brings us to metaphors and analogies. Republicans suck at them. For example, some Republicans are comparing Britney Spears being in a conservatorship controlled by her father to a controlling big government. Based upon that analogy, every Republican should be controlled by the government because they’re fucking dangerous to themselves and everyone else around them.

Republicans don’t do well with hypocrisy. They think golf jokes about Obama are hilarious while golf jokes about Trump don’t exist.

But Republicans do find each other funny. Last weekend, Kevin McCarthy told a joke to a large Republican crowd about hitting Nancy Pelosi with a gavel. The entire crowd laughed. How is it funny to joke about hitting an old lady with a large heavy wooden object? The point is cruelty. Remember when Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a “slut?” His audience loved that shit. Was “feminazi” ever funny? Rush’s audience seemed to think so.

They also thought Donald Trump was hilarious. They’re right. He is hilarious, but inadvertently. Him telling cops to rough up people they were arresting and “don’t be too nice” isn’t funny. But him believing he’ll be reinstated and he still has a “cabinet” because he thinks he’s still president is extremely funny. Who’s in this cabinet? The MyPillow Guy and the person who cleans his golf balls?

Donald Trump can’t tell a joke while President Obama can.

When going down the list of recipients for the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2016, President Obama said, “Today, we celebrate extraordinary Americans who have lifted our spirits, strengthened out union, pushed us towards progress. I always love doing this event, but this is a particularly impressive class. We’ve got innovators and artists … public servants, rabble rousers, athletes, renowned character actors, like the guy from ‘Space Jam.” That “guy from Space Jam” was Michael Jordan.

Donald Trump would never have been able to muster the nuance, timing or subtleness to pull off that joke. In fact, Trump probably doesn’t get it. You’d have to explain it.

You see, Donald…there are a bunch of celebrities there and many of them are movie stars. But Michael Jordan is there for his athletic achievements though he did make one movie…and that’s where the joke comes in…oh, never mind. The dog gets it.

Contrast that to when Donald Trump was honoring Navajo veterans of the second world war in the White House. Trump told them, “You were here long before any of us were here. Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas.” For extra humor, Trump told the joke from a podium placed in front of a portrait of Andrew Jackson.“ Trump stood there like Fozzy Bear going, “Ah? Ah? Get it? Pocahontas?” Even if that joke wasn’t racist, it doesn’t work. For one thing, the teller of the shitty old-person joke is older than Elizabeth Warren.

Trump had been on a roll of making racist attacks against Elizabeth Warren and used the event with native Americans to continue his racist attacks. The scary thing is, this joke may have been written for him. If so, probably by Stephen Miller, who is at least funny looking. Also, being a Jewish Nazi isn’t as funny as it is seriously fucked up.

How bad is Donald Trump at getting humor? He was told for months that the Pocahontas shit wasn’t funny and was extremely racist. For Trump, knowing it pissed people off, that was funny. It’s not. It’s like still believing gay and racist jokes are funny.

Even Trump’s staff knew his jokes sucked because they had to explain each of them. Asking Russia to help him win an election? Joke! Him wanting to slow down coronavirus testing? That was another joke. Shooting disinfectant up your ass to fight the coronavirus? Way over the media’s head. The only thing funny with Trump and the virus was when Trump ignored all advice and caught the virus.

It’s funny when shit happens to assholes.

I can understand to a degree why Republicans are so mean and miserable. All they have for humor is Greg Gutfeld, Tim Allen, and Dennis Miller. To be fair, Dennis Miller wasn’t funny when he was a liberal either. Republicans don’t think Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah, or Stephen Colbert are funny. It’s like thinking Jay Leno is funny but Conan O’Brien isn’t. And have you seen conservative political cartoons? There has not been a funny conservative political cartoonist since Jeff MacNelly died. Today, there is not one funny conservative political cartoonist in the nation. Though I have to admit, I think a good portion of the liberal cartoonists are boring too. You can’t be funny when you’re all telling the same joke.

Some of my colleagues often say political cartoons don’t have to be funny. That is true, but the only political cartoonists who harp on about that are the ones who are never funny.

The entire point of Republican humor is the cruelty. If you think conservatives are funny, then you’re probably an asshole.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[WiseGirl]

 

[ADoyle90815]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[WiseGirl]

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"DeSantis Deflections"

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President Joe Biden brought out a harsher tone to Republican governors who are doing everything they can to help spread the Delta variant of the coronavirus.

President Biden said, “Some state officials are passing laws that forbid people from doing the right thing. I say to the governors, please help. If you’re not going to help, get out of the way of the people that are trying to do the right thing. Use your power to save lives.”

It’s true Florida’s Ron DeSantis and Texas’ Greg Abbott are implementing rules forbidding local governments, hospitals, clinics, businesses, and schools from enacting measures to prevent the spread of the virus. DeSantis got upset over Biden’s remarks.

Refusing to use the title of “President” while attacking President Biden, DeSantis said, “Why don’t you get this border secure, and until you do that, I don’t want to hear a blip about COVID from you.”

On Fox News, he told Laura Ingraham, “He is lecturing people about imposing covid restrictions and lockdowns and not only doing nothing to stop the border surge but actually facilitating it on the other hand, he just loses all credibility when it comes to covid.”

DeSantis should know a lot about “facilitating” covid. He signed an executive order barring schools from mandating face masks. He’s refused to mandate all state employees to get vaccinated.

With more than 11,500 hospitalizations reported Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Florida is the most contagious state in the nation, accounting for 20 percent of the country’s total infection rate. Over the past three days, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that the state has had more than 50,000 new infections and 100 deaths.

DeSantis’ strategy for this has to been to attack Dr. Anthony Fauci, the media, and President Biden. His attacks on the president about the border is a deflection unless he can provide facts on how illegal immigration has affected the spike of covid cases in Florida. Maybe until he gets that number, we shouldn’t want to hear “blip” from him about the border.

DeSantis said President Biden is “bringing in people from over 100 different countries across the southern border.” President Biden is not “bringing in” people. And can DeSantis name all these nations, over 100, he’s claiming the president is bringing people in from? DeSantis is playing the Trump card by refusing to use the president’s title, playing the race card, and lying his DeBalls off.

Ron DeSantis is a racist liar and he’s continuing to politicize the virus which is leading to thousands of deaths in his state. DeSantis learned nothing from watching Donald Trump politicize the virus while watching his constituents die…except that it plays well with the Fox News base.

South Carolina’s governor, Henry McFucknut…I’m sorry, Henry McMaster, responded to the president in a tweet, saying, “Every day, illegal immigrants, drug dealers and sex traffickers enter the USA undocumented, unvaccinated, and untouched. Yet American citizens wouldn’t make it into an airport like that.” That’s another racist deflection that has very littl, if anything, to do with the increase in coronavirus cases. Sure, drug dealers and sex traffickers are bad, but what does that have to do with covid in South Carolina? Pot holes are bad too, but filling them isn’t going to cure covid. What will help get rid of covid are face masks, which have been proven to be effective.

Seven states, all red, have banned mask mandates. Those states are Iowa, Texas, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Tennessee and South Carolina. Guess where the virus is increasing the most. Red states.

Meanwhile, the Biden administration is considering vaccinating all members of the United States military, which is long overdue. In New York City, Mayor Bill DeBlasio has implemented vaccine mandates.

In late July, he ordered a vaccine mandate for hospital employees and other health facilities. Immediately, vaccinations in the city increased. He then ordered all 340,000 city employees to be vaccinated. The vaccination rate continued to rise. On Tuesday, Mayor de Blasio announced that residents and visitors over the age of 12 must show proof of vaccination to enter restaurants, bars, gyms, and movie theaters, either by showing their vaccination card or through the pending “Key to NYC Pass” mobile vaccine passport.

If you want to live a normal life and go out, and not be tested constantly by having an extremely long Q-tip rammed up your nose to tickle your brain, you’ll get vaccinated. That alone would be incentive enough for me, but in New York City, they’re also offering $100 to get vaccinated.

I didn’t feel either of the two shots I got to be vaccinated. What I did feel was the long swab going up my nose. Trust me on this, you want the needle, not the swab.

I’m all for these mandates. Let’s go ahead and mandate face masks again. It’s the conservatives’ fault anyway. Let’s mandate vaccines. Of course, you don’t have to get one, but if you want to go to Cheesecake or Cracker Barrel, you’ll get vaccinated. Let’s implement a system of vaccine passports. None of this is fascism or communism. It’s no more tyrannical than say, I don’t know….voter IDs.

Ron DeSantis is playing to the Trump crowd and to Trump himself by refusing to help save lives in his state. He’s also playing to Trump by refusing to call President Biden “President.” DeSantis is running for reelection and after that, if Donald Trump says it’s OK, DeSantis will run for president. He needs to be run out of the country.

DeSantis is deflecting while people die. Deflection is a GOP strategy preferred over acknowledging facts and problems. DeSantis is shouting “squirrel.” Meanwhile in Florida, people are still dying.

 

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, GreyhoundFan said:

Sure, drug dealers and sex traffickers are bad, but what does that have to do with covid in South Carolina? Pot holes are bad too, but filling them isn’t going to cure covid.

South Caroliina can't fill potholes either. North Carolina has some pretty terrible roads, but you can literally FEEL when you cross into South Carolina some places!

[fraurosena]

1 hour ago, GreyhoundFan said:

 

"DeSantis Deflections"

 

I love the dog lifting it's hind leg there... 

[AnywhereButHere]

What in holy hell are these things?! Sadly, I think these are real (please someone tell me they're a joke). What would you even do with them? It's not getting you access to Fucknut's remaining golf clubs. It sure as shit isn't a credit card. Are people seriously going to be proudly whipping these out of their wallets at parties to show how far up Fucknut's ass they are? Actually, never mind - that last one should really not be a question. 

Now, I think the cards are "offal" or "fecal", but I'm pretty sure the humpers all think they're just dandy, so they either really suck at proofreading or their printer is trolling them knowing the suck at proofreading. 

Edited August 5, 2021 by AnywhereButHere

[GreyhoundFan]

[47of74]

On 7/22/2021 at 7:49 AM, GreyhoundFan said:

30 years from now he'll be telling the family that he got those tattoo removal scars on his neck fighting off the Germans when they bombed Pearl harbor. 

1 minute ago, GreyhoundFan said:

I've actually come across some Cuomo defenders who are going on about how touchy feeley Italians are and that's why we should excuse him.  Bullshit.  Having been there a number of times yeah they're a bit more demonstrative but many of them are respectful of people and the boundaries.

I wonder if these defenders were saying the same thing when Bush II grabbed Chancellor Merkel all those years ago.  I doubt it. 

[Cartmann99]

2 hours ago, AnywhereButHere said:

What in holy hell are these things?! Sadly, I think these are real (please someone tell me they're a joke). What would you even do with them? It's not getting you access to Fucknut's remaining golf clubs. It sure as shit isn't a credit card. Are people seriously going to be proudly whipping these out of their wallets at parties to show how far up Fucknut's ass they are? Actually, never mind - that last one should really not be a question. 

Now, I think the cards are "offal" or "fecal", but I'm pretty sure the humpers all think they're just dandy, so they either really suck at proofreading or their printer is trolling them knowing the suck at proofreading. 

The top left one reminds me of the Nazi eagle who is usually portrayed clutching a swastika ?

[GreyhoundFan]