John and Chelsy 9: Title Update: Baby Madeline Is Here 10 Weeks Early

[fundiefan]

15 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

And yet dozens of fundies manage to have babies closer together than that with rarely a premature birth like this. It may increase the odds a little, but it doesn't full explain what happened.  Most people fundie or not don't seem to wait 18 months. 

I agree about the fundies but not the "most people fundie or not" not waiting 18 months. 

 

Edited July 11, 2021 by fundiefan

[JermajestyDuggar]

Waiting 18 months means the children are 2 years and 3 months apart. I know so many families that have spacing similar to that. It seems like a pretty common spacing nowadays. 

[Foudeb]

That's the first I'm hearing about recommended spacing. I've heard wait one year after a csection to try to conceive - meaning kids 21 months + apart - but never heard recommended waits after vaginal births. 

Sometimes bad stuff happens for no reason. 

[AuntCloud]

This atheist has treasured the life of her two preemies (30w, 845g and 26w, 745) beyond anything. The birth of my youngest was my cue to stop at two rather than tempt faith. Both have received every therapy and developmental follow-up their medical team referred them to. I get it, Sarah, your family is so much better than us heathens. Premature birth and Nicu stay shakes you to the core. I hope wee Madeline gets all the time she needs to catch up and is cherished like her aunt claims her to be rather than become #3 out of who knows how many because Jesus.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

45 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I agree about the fundies but not the "most people fundie or not" not waiting 18 months. 

 

It's probably not most people, but seems like I know a lot of people with kids that close in age. Then again I know a lot of people who might be considered fundie. 

My point was it's common enough that people kids less than 2 years and 3 months apart that I think there must be more to the story. 

3 minutes ago, Foudeb said:

That's the first I'm hearing about recommended spacing. I've heard wait one year after a csection to try to conceive - meaning kids 21 months + apart - but never heard recommended waits after vaginal births. 

Sometimes bad stuff happens for no reason. 

I've heard of recommended spacing, but 18 months is more than I've ever heard.

[JulineD]

9 minutes ago, AuntCloud said:

This atheist has treasured the life of her two preemies (30w, 845g and 26w, 745) beyond anything. The birth of my youngest was my cue to stop at two rather than tempt faith. Both have received every therapy and developmental follow-up their medical team referred them to. I get it, Sarah, your family is so much better than us heathens. Premature birth and Nicu stay shakes you to the core. I hope wee Madeline gets all the time she needs to catch up and is cherished like her aunt claims her to be rather than become #3 out of who knows how many because Jesus.

Yes, unbelievable that you can love your children even if you are an atheist! Actually, you love your children just as much, if not more, than those who continue to have baby after baby regardless of the risks. I respect that, and have little to no respect for people who do not think of  taking care of the needs of their actual living children. 

[Jana814]

3 minutes ago, JulineD said:

have little to no respect for people who do not think of  taking care of the needs of their actual living children. 

I feel the same way. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, AuntCloud said:

This atheist has treasured the life of her two preemies (30w, 845g and 26w, 745) beyond anything. The birth of my youngest was my cue to stop at two rather than tempt faith. Both have received every therapy and developmental follow-up their medical team referred them to. I get it, Sarah, your family is so much better than us heathens. Premature birth and Nicu stay shakes you to the core. I hope wee Madeline gets all the time she needs to catch up and is cherished like her aunt claims her to be rather than become #3 out of who knows how many because Jesus.

It’s interesting to think about what mainstream folks would likely do in a situation like this. I think a lot of people who had a hard first birth and a 10 week NICU stay with the third, would likely say, I’m done. It’s just a lot to deal with. Even if Medicaid covers the hospital bills, John will likely lose some money because he won’t be able to work as much as he had planned. And the gas money of driving to and from the hospital every day. Luckily they don’t need to pay babysitters.
 

Interesting note: Steve and Teri had two boys and then a girl just like John and Chelsy when Steve decided to get the infamous vasectomy. 

[SassyPants]

Yes, the baby will likely qualify for some government financial services and will definitely qualify for all f/u special services and early intervention d/t being born early. The only roadblock I see is her parents possibly refusing to comply with filling out and submitting the paperwork.

[Coconut Flan]

She's too heavy for the automatic qualification for Medicaid and would have to have some disability not simply prematurity to qualify for Medicaid otherwise.  In most and maybe all states services are based on need.  So after leaving the hospital her parents would have to get an evaluation to see what services she would qualify to receive, if any.  

[allyisyourpally5]

Would a premature baby be covered by Medicaid or normal insurance? I absolute,y dread to think of the cost. 

[Ozlsn]

2 hours ago, AuntCloud said:

 Premature birth and Nicu stay shakes you to the core. I hope wee Madeline gets all the time she needs to catch up and is cherished like her aunt claims her to be rather than become #3 out of who knows how many because Jesus.

Totally agree. I hope it at least causes them to think about how many children they can support, and support well. I hope Madeline has a straightforward NICU stay and is home soon (it won't feel straightforward to John and Chelsy, but medically speaking.)

[Coconut Flan]

30 minutes ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

Would a premature baby be covered by Medicaid or normal insurance? I absolute,y dread to think of the cost. 

Micropreemies are covered by Medicaid.  Other preemies may be covered depending on if they have a qualifying condition.  A healthy, but young, infant with no extra issues won't be covered.  

[usmcmom]

13 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I get your point, completely.

But it makes me sad. And in some ways, angry. Given I don't know them and their lives don't affect mine, the anger is something that needs to be explored internally, but I feel it none the less.

"The girls"  - not Sarah, she is not the babysitter - will forever be their brother's babysitters/extra moms. They won't get to have lives of their own because they will always be helping out their brothers & their wives. 

Anna gets cancer & travels around the country for treatment - "the girls" step in as parents. Nathan & Melanie keep making babies (or, did keep making babies) knowing their miserable fertility record and "the girls" stepped in and took care of the kids & cleaned the house while Melanie was on months of bedrest. Now, John & Chelsy have a premature baby with two toddlers at home and you know "the girls" will be stepping up and taking care of the kids so John & Chelsy can be at the hospital with the baby. 

I do not begrudge parents needing help or having help close by for tough times. But really - this is brother #3 who lives within walking distance so it's just oh so easy for "the girls" to walk on over & fill the parental gaps. 

When "the girls" and/or Sarah get a life of their own, I'll be happy that they're close enough family to be able to rely on each other. (Then again, they've said plenty of times that the females Maxwells will probably move away with their headship when they marry so...ah, never mind).  As it is now, they are just wasting away living with dad & mom, doing bible study several times a day, and killing time until a brother's wife needs help raising the kids. 

Family helps family. But family doesn't live entirely to serve their married brothers & sisters-in-laws & nieces & nephews while they wallow with no future of their own. 

You’ve stated this so well. Thank you. 
 

I have always wondered if one reason Steve has not let “the girls” get married is because he thinks they need to be available to their brothers. 
 

I understand helping out in a crisis but it seems the girls have been available for their sisters-in-law for things that most young mothers manage on their own.  Also, we will likely never know how the brothers and their wives would reciprocate these kindnesses, but I do wonder if the girls will ever be on the receiving end of such help if they have families of their own. 
 

 

[fundiewatch]

I think that helping with their brothers’ children is the highlight of their lives. Getting to step in for an evening, or days, or weeks is the most “parenting” they’ll ever do. 

[MomJeans]

I was an AuntieMom to my sisters' kids, and I though I don't doubt the Maxwell sisters are willing to help, I also seriously doubt they are receiving fair gratitude and compensation from their brothers. 

The likely expectation by Steve, Terri and their brothers that they will step in and help is also really toxic.  It connotes that their value to the family is their usefulness to helping the married children, and vis-a-vis, they are worth less than a married child.

I also don't think being an on-call babysitter is the "highlight" of their lives.  A woman doesn't need to have children to find happiness or be worthy.  And women don't have to like being around children to live a fulfilling life. 

[Cults-r-us]

2 hours ago, JulineD said:

I respect that, and have little to no respect for people who do not think of  taking care of the needs of their actual living children. 

But in Quiverfull, denying children access to medical care from birth onward, denying vaccination, providing poverty, food insecurity, inadequate education, dumb religion overdose and false belief overload is giving them care.

[Lgirlrocks]

My parents really wanted four children. I’m trying to have a fourth my mom almost died. She had a miscarriage at home and was bleeding so bad she went to the hospital. They released her without taking her blood pressure laying down. My dad stopped to get her ice cream, she laid her seat back and passed out. My dad didn’t realize until he got her home. He called for an ambulance and it took forever for one to come. 
after that my dad said enough was enough and they stopped trying. Fundies only seem to value births not life. 

[Caroline]

2 hours ago, JulineD said:

Actually, you love your children just as much, if not more, than those who continue to have baby after baby regardless of the risks.

My husband and I were lucky enough to have a baby when we were both almost 40.  I had had a miscarriage early on with the pregnancy before my healthy pregnancy, and even though it was early on (13 weeks) it really woke me up and made me realize that anything can happen and nothing should be taken for granted.  

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Fundies only seem to value births not life. 

I very much agree with this.  

[NancyDrewFan1989]

Just caught up on the news for Chelsy having Madeline ten weeks early. I am really hoping that she will be okay. I do have a feeling that Chelsy be spacing out her pregnancy between Madeline and her next one. Like it was said before on this thread she had complications with Axton. The only child she was able to safely deliver safely at home, so far, has been Elliot. I hope that John and Chelsy after this experience consult medical professionals for continuing on with child bearing. Honestly, I just really hope that they "delay" having their fifth child until Chelsy is healthy enough to carry again with the guidance of healthcare professionals. 

5 hours ago, Foudeb said:

That's the first I'm hearing about recommended spacing. I've heard wait one year after a csection to try to conceive - meaning kids 21 months + apart - but never heard recommended waits after vaginal births. 

Sometimes bad stuff happens for no reason. 

I think that is the problem with most fundies. John and Chelsy, like most newlywed funides, were in a rush to start a family as soon as possible. She had Elliot last June and, admittedly was due in mid-September, gave birth to Madeline yesterday. Many times fundie wives post about miscarrying. Part of it could be the mother was still recovering from giving birth. When Chelsy got pregnant she might not have been entirely healed from going through two pregnancies in rapid succession. Almost all fundies who get married focus on starting a large family to the point where I think they forget the mother needs time to heal. 

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

Would a premature baby be covered by Medicaid or normal insurance? I absolute,y dread to think of the cost. 

As homeowners with no mortgage, would Chelsy & John be eligible for Medicaid? I’m guessing not! ETA. But @Coconut Flan seems to think otherwise, and I withdraw my thought!  I bow to more informed people’s info.  

Also ETA: The thought of TeriSteve on a Sweet Fellowship Schedule cracks!  me! up!  The stuff Monty Python sketches were made of. 

It also makes me sad to think of the lack of spontaneity snd real passion in a marriage, but so goes ”Quiverfullitude-iness.”

Edited July 12, 2021 by MamaJunebug

[MamaJunebug]

3 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

I think that helping with their brothers’ children is the highlight of their lives. Getting to step in for an evening, or days, or weeks is the most “parenting” they’ll ever do. 

Which wouldn’t be tragic  it had been their choices. But it’s not. It’s all been planned by Steve. 

[SPHASH]

2Anna had three babies three years in a row...Ruthie (Feb 18 2014), Lydia (March 23 2015), and Danny (July 5 2016). Then she had Lizzy (Feb 23 2018).  With all the talk about risk of miscarriage when getting pregnant so quickly after giving birth I wonder if she miscarried between Danny and Liz which explains the longer than usual gap.  Can miscarriages raise the risk of cancer?

Edited July 12, 2021 by SPHASH

[mango_fandango]

Could Michelle have had more than two miscarriages and just not mentioned them? 

And I actually almost forgot that Chelsy was pregnant. Madeline Sue is a nice name. I hope everything goes well for her.