Josiah and Lauren 15: The Drama Llama Rolls On

[SolomonFundy]

Say what you will, but "Waller On The Stump" sounds like a traditional Alabama wedding ritual.

[ShadowCat]

I haven't been good at keeping up with the Duggar threads recently, but last night I watched the marriage retreat episode. Sweet suffering baby Jesus... Lauren and Josiah. That is just a disaster in the making. 

Obviously, I know neither of them, but those vibes!

I can see those "Oh honey!" moments, turn into walking on eggshells and nit picking. I can see the tolerant smiles turn to gritted teeth. And, I can see Josiah turning up alone to every family event, because Lauren has one of her migraines/is tired/overwhelmed or any other excuse. If it's not going be about Lauren or her kids, she's not going to be arsed about it.

I felt so sorry for Josiah renewing vows to his phone last night. Lauren needs to put in a bit of effort, quit complaining about other people's kids keeping her awake and drop the self appointed princess, routine. If she was feeling that tired and shitty, then she should have stayed at home, people would understand. If pregnancy is stopping you stringing a few twigs and leaves together for approx 20 mins, then you need to get a grip and cop the fuck on. The gods help her when she has a toddler or two racing around her ankles and another pregnancy in the works.

For their own sakes, the sake of Bella and any future children, I hope I'm very wrong.

[Coco]

On 11/28/2019 at 9:39 PM, church_of_dog said:

Idk the Wallers but this just looks like something a super young mom would think was a good idea who doesn't know much about keeping a baby comfortable. The cringey stage everyone goes through, plus parenthood. Yikes. Poor little guy. 

[AliceInFundyland]

17 minutes ago, Coco said:

Idk the Wallers but this just looks like something a super young mom would think was a good idea who doesn't know much about keeping a baby comfortable. The cringey stage everyone goes through, plus parenthood. Yikes. Poor little guy. 

That's a pretty good description. The Wallers appear to embrace the remarkably expressive personalities of their children in the photos since that one. Most of us hope to see that continue as they age on up.

But, as a family immersed in IBLP and ATI, there is a healthy dose of skepticism that comes along with said desires.

[kiwi]

Lauren just comes across as a bitch. Im blunt and honest. She is a spoilt bitch - who has likely had her way her entire life and has had younger siblings pander to her every whim. She now has a husband, who doesn’t know how to be a husband and she is expecting him to pander to her every whim and not have an opinion or thoughts of his own, because hers have always been right and will continue to be right despite what he thinks.

Poor josiah is in a loose loose situation. He can’t possibly win with her - she will just fake a headache and go lie on a couch, “out of sight” but close enough to still be controlling.

Seriously?? Your at a holiday home with dozens of BEDS, had she been genuinely unwell with a headache and she lays on a leather couch (ick) right in the middle of everything. [emoji2360]

[CaricatureQualities]

Lauren and Josiah were both born into a fundamentalist cult where neither one of them likely got to know what it is even like to "get their own way"  with hardly anything. Not really. And now both of their personal lives are thrust into the public eye and there are cameras and asshole producers in their faces about every little stupid or embarrassing or highly traumatic moment. And whether they are on the show or not there will always be an army of watchers on the internet and social media (that includes us by the way) to judge and evaluate every move they make. They are in their early twenties.  Did either one of them actually get to make a real choice about getting married to each other or having their lives broadcast for all of us to dissect? Did they? Because it seems  to me like it was decided for them.  I'm all for watching and following these people with a very critical eye but I think we should do so with some principle of charity.  That is not giving them a free pass or being uncritical of the fuckedupness of it all. It's just realizing that a lot of these people don't have the same freedom of thought or expression or honest self reflection that a lot of us have refined over the years of our lives. That is one of the things that makes fundies so different from non or ex fundamentalists and why we watch them and worry. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by CaricatureQualities

[Idlewild]

I think Lauren came from a fairly well off family? She’s used to being well provided for and having nice things. No doubt much of the appeal of being married to a Duggar is they appear to live comfortably for what seems like little effort- wedding and honeymoon paid for , well paid photo shoots with magazines and opportunities to sell skincare on Instagram. Of course she is expected now to sing for her supper- participate in this ridiculous show & its made up scenarios & keep sweet for the cameras even if she feels off colour or depressed. Anna understood this- but I guess she was happy to do it for a nice home etc having grown up poor. It may be a steep learning curve for Lauren.

[BookwormExtraordinaire]

Lauren strikes me as immature more than anything else. Sure, she seems to be quite insufferable at times, but she has the self-obsessed air that many teenagers have - they think the world revolves around them. It’s unbecoming and tedious for everyone around, but is in no way unusual.

Most people eventually grow out of it at least a bit, and by the time they get married and become parents they have matured enough to realise that there are other people on this planet with feelings and needs of their own. Jessa is a fundie example of someone who once came across as quite selfish, but has become a (by fundie standards) good parent and seems to have a stable marriage.

What concerns me when it comes to Lauren is that unlike Jessa and Ben, I’m afraid that she and Josiah are not very well-suited to each other. I think she’d be better suited to someone like Ben or Joe, while Josiah would fit better with someone more independent and outgoing. I doubt his relationship with Marjorie would ever have worked in the long run, but personality-wise I think some like her would’ve been a better fit, or maybe one of the Bates girls who are all quite outgoing. I think neither of them was ready for marriage at all, and for Bella’s sake I hope that they both do some growing up very quickly.

[singsingsing]

They're just so damn young. I remember when Joy was catching a lot of flack for being so negative and done with it when she was shopping for wedding dresses. All I could think was, "Yeah, when I was 19 I probably would've behaved exactly the same." Same with Lauren, when I was her age I was very easily overstimulated and had high anxiety and had not yet learned how to effectively manage it. And I wasn't married to someone I barely knew/pregnant/having babies/postpartum! I had the opportunity to mature as a person and learn healthy coping techniques, but Joy and Lauren exist in such a fucked up environment, I have no idea what their personal growth from 20 to 30 might look like. ? 

[LilMissMetaphor]

On 11/30/2019 at 7:00 PM, louannems said:

I made myself go find it!

Um well that's terrifying.

"When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.  Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son." 

[Glasgowghirl]

I have always thought Marjorie was a better match for him as well, she was bubbly and outgoing and maybe if it wasn't at the time of Josh's scandals and they were both a bit older they would have worked out better, glad for Marjorie's sake it didn't work she seems happy with her life but Josiah is now married to someone who is not that compatible with him and appears to not be making an effort with it either. They are the least suited Duggar couple and the one I think may eventually divorce. 

[singsingsing]

I don’t get a good vibe from Josiah at all. And I don’t necessarily mean anything sinister by that, just that he seems like he would be a very difficult/unpleasant person to be married to. Lauren also seems difficult and unpleasant, but she doesn’t have the tense angry/bitter vibe Josiah does.

Edited December 3, 2019 by singsingsing

[Idlewild]

46 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I don’t get a good vibe from Josiah at all. And I don’t necessarily mean anything sinister by that, just that he seems like he would be a very difficult/unpleasant person to be married to. Lauren also seems difficult and unpleasant, but she doesn’t have the tense angry/bitter vibe Josiah does.

I loathe ‘pranks’ so he always annoyed me- I often find that pranksters aren’t very pleasant when the tables are turned and that’s the vibe I get from him. 

[viii]

45 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I don’t get a good vibe from Josiah at all. And I don’t necessarily mean anything sinister by that, just that he seems like he would be a very difficult/unpleasant person to be married to. Lauren also seems difficult and unpleasant, but she doesn’t have the tense angry/bitter vibe Josiah does.

I agree - I feel like Josiah would be a very high strung individual. He seems to have a lot of repressed resentment, and I don't blame him. This probably isn't what he wanted for his life, and now he's stuck. 

I often sympathize with the young men in these situations as well, because they must feel such overwhelming pressure to provide for households that just keep growing. 

[CuttySark]

1 hour ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Um well that's terrifying.

"When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.  Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son." 

I was just coming to the end of the thread to post that!! Do you think they were trying specifically for the whole akedah vibe, or was that wholly accidental? (I need someone to photoshop a ram into the bush behind him now.) 

[just_ordinary]

I don’t think Lauren came across as bad as some seem to think. But yes, the both of them don’t seem to be really at ease with each other.

But honestly, Lauren didn’t seem to think it possible to openly criticise Josiah in front of the others. If that would have been me, I would have taken to the couch as well with an obvious excuse. Putting a handle on the nest? Who am I kidding, I would have flat out told him it’s a stupid idea and might destabilise the whole construction. 

I agree that I think Josiah doesn’t give of the nicest vibes. They are probably quite similar in their high maintenance and needy personalities.

The whole retreat was a whole lot of crap (as expected). If those Fundies need that for a successful marriage there situation must be more dire than I realised.

[DillyDally]

They posted some pics of their first family outing the other day and I'm sorry for the incoming BEC comments but something immediately caught my attention:

I had a baby this spring and I'm certainly no expert on all things BABIEZ but that poor baby needs more neck/head support* and a proper hat instead of that stupid bow.

*at least that's what I learned while doing research on baby carriers (ours had a special newborn inlay so the head would be held in place)

[nvmbr02]

it has been a long time since I used a sling and I am way too lazy to look through old pictures on baby wearing my kids but it doesn't look too bad to me.  It is very possible to the sling has been bunched up a bit for better pictures and then can be pulled up to be more supportive after the pictures are done. It is significantly better than the death trap Jill used. 

But as I said, I am years past sling usage and I totally could be missing something. Just the picture at face value doesn't look horrible. 

[bal maiden]

The ring sling looks okay to me, typically you only bring the fabric of those up to the nape of the neck with those, even with a newborn (not like a stretchy wrap that you'd tuck the baby's head under the shoulder fabric to support it). Maybe her top rail is a tiny bit bunched and tight, and Bella's back a little loose, but she's okay in there, and most first time mums take a while to get in the swing of wrapping and slinging to a perfect level of comfort for baby and wearer! 

That headband, on the other hand, looks sodding uncomfortable. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

The alphabet as a naming theme is such a bad idea. I’m picturing a menopausal woman yelling at a fertility specialist, “But we need our Zebedee!!”

Here’s a way to do the alphabet theme (in theory - the ship has sailed). Go around the whole family. Number 27 starts over with A (ideally he would be Aaron for aa). Once everyone is married and breeding, you might not know which letter you will get until the last minute.

Edited December 3, 2019 by QuiverFullofBooks
Added family-wide idea

[justoneoftwo]

13 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

The alphabet as a naming theme is such a bad idea. I’m picturing a menopausal woman yelling at a fertility specialist, “But we need our Zebedee!!”

It also ends any hope that Bella won't forever be number 2...

[Nikedagain?]

13 hours ago, kiwi said:

Lauren just comes across as a bitch. Im blunt and honest. She is a spoilt bitch - who has likely had her way her entire life and has had younger siblings pander to her every whim. She now has a husband, who doesn’t know how to be a husband and she is expecting him to pander to her every whim and not have an opinion or thoughts of his own, because hers have always been right and will continue to be right despite what he thinks.

Poor josiah is in a loose loose situation. He can’t possibly win with her - she will just fake a headache and go lie on a couch, “out of sight” but close enough to still be controlling.

Seriously?? Your at a holiday home with dozens of BEDS, had she been genuinely unwell with a headache and she lays on a leather couch (ick) right in the middle of everything.

ugh at calling her a bitch. do better. 

[Peaches-n-Beans]

I don't much care for Josiah either. Unlike Lauren his family was prohibitively large and he likely grew up not getting everything he wanted all the time, so I think now that it's just him and one (now two) other people he's kind of... not sure what to do and just barreling on ahead because he can finally have his way. 

Lauren on the other hand I think is used to getting her way all the time and having to share that with another person - especially one who was never the focus of anyone's attention before now - is a bit of a learning curve. 

Basically they're both insufferable and I do not see this working out in the long term. Frankly I think if they were a real world couple they'd've broken up by now, but they wouldn't be married yet either so there's that. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by Peaches-n-Beans
spelling

[Charliemae]

2 hours ago, bal maiden said:

The ring sling looks okay to me, typically you only bring the fabric of those up to the nape of the neck with those, even with a newborn (not like a stretchy wrap that you'd tuck the baby's head under the shoulder fabric to support it). Maybe her top rail is a tiny bit bunched and tight, and Bella's back a little loose, but she's okay in there, and most first time mums take a while to get in the swing of wrapping and slinging to a perfect level of comfort for baby and wearer! 

That headband, on the other hand, looks sodding uncomfortable. 

It looks great when you compare it to some of the babywearing mistakes I've seen.  Wasn't Jill Dill a pretty terrible baby wearer? 

That headband left and indent on that poor babies head. =( I would have taken it off as soon as I saw that. 

[meee]

Wait, do we know for sure that they are doing an alphabet theme? Duggar Data posted that it's confirmed, but I don't know from where.