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Coconut Flan

Josiah and Lauren 15: The Drama Llama Rolls On

nelliebelle1197

Hey Friends! Let's keep the Homeland Security raid talk here:

 

That way we all get ALL the gossip!

Message added by nelliebelle1197

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Someone Out There
7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I hope Bella and Lauren are fine. It's a bit strange that she hasn't posted #bestpapaever #oursecondchild pictures yet (apart from the birth one). 

I also hope her mom is helping her. She's the eldest, so probably her parents are willing to be with their grandchild.

Is that because she's now realising that babies will keep you up at night and there isn't anything you can do about that?

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Iamtheway
9 hours ago, LacyMay said:

And mom friends are great! They always carry snacks. 

:romance-inlove:

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Cheetah
8 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I hope Bella and Lauren are fine. It's a bit strange that she hasn't posted #bestpapaever #oursecondchild pictures yet (apart from the birth one). 

I also hope her mom is helping her. She's the eldest, so probably her parents are willing to be with their grandchild.

Didn't Lauren's mom also have a baby recently?  (I know Kendra's mom did... but I think Lauren's mom did as well, just not quite as recently... maybe back in the spring?)  Or am I misremembering?  It would be hard to be very helpful with your grandkid when you have your own baby still to deal with.

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amendgitan
On 11/14/2019 at 8:01 PM, kmachete14 said:

Someone that young should not be "trying" to get pregnant!!! I mean you just discovered sex and are in the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship. Shouldn't you just be going at it like bunnies and discovering how to orgasm in every which way??? I can't imagine the drudgery of "trying" and tracking ovulation and all that at an age where I was so horny I was basically wet 24/7 and would jump my boyfriend (and vice versa) any time we were alone . . . 

so sad they've already reduced such a fun and bonding activity to an anxiety-ridden means to one end

I don't have an insight into the sex lives of the other fundies but it seems like the other young couples get pregnant "on accident" from just too much lovin -- not because they are TTC !! 

They are Quiverfull and in their culture the only sure way to measure a woman’s worth is via childbearing. 

Getting married is like graduating a real high school. Having a baby is like an AA degree. A few kids is a BA. A large family is like a master’s. 

Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates have the equivalent of doctorates in their culture. 

These people can’t be understood through our experiences. 

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amendgitan
On 11/15/2019 at 2:46 PM, Glasgowghirl said:

I do have empathy for Lauren and worry for her, she is young and I can understand her wanting to try again after miscarriage and it probably felt like an eternity for her those months in between miscarrying and getting pregnant with Bella but she didn't give herself enough time to grieve for Asa and that is probably a good explanation for her behaviour. Lauren will have to grow up now and put Bella first and from her actions this pregnancy I am worried that she will struggle, Kendra who seems to be coping well with motherhood expressed that it is still strange to adjust to going from a teen to being a wife and mother. I also worry for Josiah and how he is dealing with all this because I can see Lauren being difficult to live with at times. 

It’s so hard for me to relate to because they’re inundated with babies, they grow up as sister moms and have a future dedicated to having multiple babies. 

I guess these people really don’t enjoy sex much or their spouses. Instead of enjoying time alone as a couple, having nice bodies and getting to focus on each other and relax, they can’t wsit to jump from a house full of siblings and drudgery to a house full of babies and drudgery and endless bloat from pregnancy. 

Just hearing them talk about morning sickness and how they’re feeling and realizing they’re mostly going to go through that over and over and over again, fills me with horror. It’s such a trap. And yet for them it’s identity. And the pinnacle of success. 

13 hours ago, Smash! said:

As someone who was the one who was ghosted by a very good friend, in my opinion it's not okay to ghost someone you were close with. I wondered for two years what I did to her and asked for clarification but never got one. It was horrible and my self esteem suffered a lot.
I don't say you should stay friends with people who do more harm than good. But have the decency to text said friend and (shortly) explain why you don't want to be friends anymore and block her afterwards. You can prevent a lot of suffering on the other side.
In my case said friend reached out to me 2 years later to apologize. We met for drinks and I honestly could understand why she cut me off. I just wished she would have said something. After that it took a long time to be friends again but we grew gradually closer after finding out we'd make a pretty good sports team and went jogging together regurarly.

Yes. Without an explanation how can anyone grow and change? (Although I admit to ending a friendship with no discussion but the person never asked. And is very much like the ex-friends mentioned here- the relationship was really one-sided. If they don’t care to ask then I don’t need to explain).  

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kiwi

Double post

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justmy2cents
1 hour ago, Cheetah said:

Didn't Lauren's mom also have a baby recently?  (I know Kendra's mom did... but I think Lauren's mom did as well, just not quite as recently... maybe back in the spring?)  Or am I misremembering?  It would be hard to be very helpful with your grandkid when you have your own baby still to deal with.

Lauren’s youngest brother Duke will be 2 in February. He’s the same age as Gideon.

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Giraffe

I hadn’t thought of how it could be if the grandmother isn’t available to help because she’s postpartum herself! Not all grandmothers are interested in helping and many don’t have the availability even if they wanted to, but it’s sad that these grandmothers may not be able to because they still have young kids at home.
 

They’re so wrapped up in baby collecting that they miss out on other great stages of life! And no, I don’t believe Michelle’s relationship with any of her grands is remotely similar to Mary’s relationship with Amy. 

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neuroticcat
4 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

The current Homeland Security shitshow may be keeping some of the Duggars off the internet.

I agree. And it’s possible Josiah us involved somehow given the car lot.

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scoutsadie
5 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

The current Homeland Security shitshow may be keeping some of the Duggars off the internet.

Yeah. I suspect no Duggar wants to field questions about the HS visit in their comments sections.

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Glasgowghirl

I think the potential scandal breaking and them not posting on social media, may do them a favour in the long run. Lauren has time away from scrutiny and comments to adjust to being a mother. She may not be likeable to a lot of people but some of the comments she gets every time she posts must be hurtful, even on Joy's Instagram she was getting hate because of Bella's name. While being in the public eye means you will get hate and sometimes people may be justified in their opinions but often people go too far. 

 

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FreeCalifornia
On 11/22/2019 at 9:09 PM, justmy2cents said:

Lauren’s youngest brother Duke will be 2 in February. He’s the same age as Gideon.

Even if Her Mom couldn’t help out you’d think either of them would have sisters, or Michelle if they REALLY needed help

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grandmadugger

Poor Si. He’s the one that always gets screwed over by the scandals. 

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Peaches-n-Beans
On 11/24/2019 at 11:54 AM, FreeCalifornia said:

Even if Her Mom couldn’t help out you’d think either of them would have sisters, or Michelle if they REALLY needed help

Bold of you to assume Michelle is capable of helping with a child, Lauren’s mother, while funds and thus I’m sure horrible, she does seem to have at least raised her children herself.

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CarrotCake

And Laurens sister Lily also seems like she would be willing to help. Would not surprise me if she is at their house all the time now.

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Wine time!
allthegoodnamesrgone

She may NEED help doesn't mean she will ask for it. Christian women are notorious for "keeping sweet" and putting on a happy face while falling apart behind that facade. Why do you think so many of them go from happy go lucky young women to biter nasty old ladies?

And yeah, Michelle seems to do the bare minimum with her own kids, but I'm sure if Si asked she'd send  Hannie or Jenni over to help for a bit. 

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portraitpixie

Alright Lauren, come on

I want to see more pictures of Bsa

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CheeseGirl

This thread drift on ghosting has brought up a lot of old buried memories.  I've been ghosted and watch friendships fade when I thought we'd be friends forever.  It hurts and it can be a doozy to your self-esteem. 

My sincerest empathy to everyone  :hug:

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FluffySnowball

I honestly don’t think Lauren will have all that many children. I’m sure she’ll have more than the average American, but either resulting from a decision to use birth control or due to abstinence, she and Si will have 6 kids tops. Some people genuinely enjoy having a large family, but Lauren isn’t as mature and emotionally stable as she’d need to be to be suited for such a lifestyle.

While I don’t think I’d like Lauren if I met her IRL, I say this without any glee or malice! I actually feel sorry for the situation she’s in and the grief she has experienced and might be going through right now. I just wish the two of them knew that their values as human beings aren’t tied to being patriarchs or mothers of large quivers.

And I wholeheartedly agree with the posters above who said that their sex lives already seem so strained by loss and the longing for another pregnancy. Even for non-fundy people who communicate openly, learning how to have a fulfilling sex life takes time and lots of trial and error until you know what you really like, how you can orgasm, if you want to use sex toys, which phantasies you have and how you want to live them with your partner... Pregnancy should come quite a while after someone has figured all that out. 

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Wine time!
allthegoodnamesrgone

@FluffySnowball I don't even think they will have 6, I'm betting 3 or 4 TOPS and that will be a huge strain on them.  I can also see these two divorcing I don't think she'll put up with being that unhappy and I think don't think Si will be able to stand his misery for 10 more years. I'm willing to put down money, that of the currently marrieds these two will the be 1st to divorce. There is no way JB & M will escape with all 19 of their kids never divorcing. 

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allthegoodnamesrgone
1 hour ago, FluffySnowball said:

While I don’t think I’d like Lauren if I met her IRL, I say this without any glee or malice! I actually feel sorry for the situation she’s in and the grief she has experienced and might be going through right now. I just wish the two of them knew that their values as human beings aren’t tied to being patriarchs or mothers of large quivers.

Lauren reminds me so much of my EX friend , she's very uptight, very arrogant, very controlled and very much must be IN control at all times, and that friend wasn't able to handle having more than 1 child emotionally.  Of course she wasn't raised quiverfull and she was expected to hold down a full time job while doing all the "womins work" and child rearing, but she could never handle the uncertainty as the parent of a newborn/infant.  Lauren, may be able to do a few more since she will not have to work, but I'm not so sure she'll be much better off than this person I knew was. 

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Peaches-n-Beans
1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Lauren reminds me so much of my EX friend , she's very uptight, very arrogant, very controlled and very much must be IN control at all times, and that friend wasn't able to handle having more than 1 child emotionally.  Of course she wasn't raised quiverfull and she was expected to hold down a full time job while doing all the "womins work" and child rearing, but she could never handle the uncertainty as the parent of a newborn/infant.  Lauren, may be able to do a few more since she will not have to work, but I'm not so sure she'll be much better off than this person I knew was. 

This is exactly the impression I get from Lauren too, I do not think she can last in this life style, frankly though I think any sort of actual adulthood would throw her off.

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JermajestyDuggar
1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@FluffySnowball I don't even think they will have 6, I'm betting 3 or 4 TOPS and that will be a huge strain on them.  I can also see these two divorcing I don't think she'll put up with being that unhappy and I think don't think Si will be able to stand his misery for 10 more years. I'm willing to put down money, that of the currently marrieds these two will the be 1st to divorce. There is no way JB & M will escape with all 19 of their kids never divorcing. 

I agree that there will be Duggar divorces. I also think there will be at least one or two that just leave fundie land completely. I think it will probably be one of the younger girls. Like Jenny or Jordyn. 

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Libby96

The thread drift about being dumped by a friend hits home with me.  My BFF growing up, who I’ve known my entire life (and we were in each others’ weddings), has kind of dumped me over the past five years.  The last time we got together I had initiated because my mom told me she and her husband were divorcing.  We had a nice lunch and we talked very openly about our lives and I thought maybe this was a rebirth, so to speak, of our friendship.  Nope.  After a bit of texting back and forth to plan another lunch, I haven’t seen her in five years.

Did I mention that she only lives 25 minutes from me?  Did I mention that in that five years she’s managed to get together both here and abroad with her friend who lives in Europe?

Did I mention that many years ago my husband and I signed paperwork to be her only child’s guardian should anything happen to her and her husband?

So I’m done, and whenever  my mom tells me what this “friend” is up to, I just say “Oh, okay.” and move on.  Feels good to vent about it here.

Back on topic, if Lauren is self-aware enough to stay off social media and actually spend these early days of motherhood just caring for and enjoying her daughter, good for her!  Less snark for us, but better for Baby Bella.

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amendgitan
6 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

I honestly don’t think Lauren will have all that many children. I’m sure she’ll have more than the average American, but either resulting from a decision to use birth control or due to abstinence, she and Si will have 6 kids tops. Some people genuinely enjoy having a large family, but Lauren isn’t as mature and emotionally stable as she’d need to be to be suited for such a lifestyle.

While I don’t think I’d like Lauren if I met her IRL, I say this without any glee or malice! I actually feel sorry for the situation she’s in and the grief she has experienced and might be going through right now. I just wish the two of them knew that their values as human beings aren’t tied to being patriarchs or mothers of large quivers.

And I wholeheartedly agree with the posters above who said that their sex lives already seem so strained by loss and the longing for another pregnancy. Even for non-fundy people who communicate openly, learning how to have a fulfilling sex life takes time and lots of trial and error until you know what you really like, how you can orgasm, if you want to use sex toys, which phantasies you have and how you want to live them with your partner... Pregnancy should come quite a while after someone has figured all that out. 

Except when has a lack of maturity made most people refrain from overburdening themselves with kids, let alone insane cultists? I mean you think she’s going to secretly acquire birth control and not tell anyone? They even see fundie approved doctors. 

And if she lacks self awareness how will she know to try to limit the size of her family in violation of the edicts taught by her religion and family and adopted by her husband? 

I think too often people overestimate the ability of these fundies to self reflect and know anything substantial enough about the real world to veer from their cultural norms. 

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