Lori Alexander: 64: Continuing the Sardines into the Next Generation

[Lgirlrocks]

Before it’s gone. 

someone else pointed out that Lori call them children in the article, I didn’t read it, but Lor is talking about 18 year olds. 18 is an adult. In some states it’s 17. Unless a parent is paying their childs way or have rules about them living at home after high school they shouldn’t get to tell them what they can’t do. 

[Libby96]

31 minutes ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

The whole "colleges have a Marxist agenda" thing is a hoot. Sure, you might encounter Marx and his work in certain classes, and you also might be introduced to scholars influenced by Marx, but schools are hardly pushing a "Marxist agenda".

Lori and her ilk like to paint a similar picture of public schools, calling them government indoctrination centers and the like.  According to them, public school teachers like me spend our days passing out condoms and teaching evolution.  Never mind that what I actually do is spend my days teaching little kids how to read.

But I’m also a mother who works outside the home, so despite the fact I’m a Christian she’d say I’m being deceived by Satan and breaking God’s heart with my evil, money-earning wiles.

[Dreadcrumbs]

24 minutes ago, Libby96 said:

Lori and her ilk like to paint a similar picture of public schools, calling them government indoctrination centers and the like.  According to them, public school teachers like me spend our days passing out condoms and teaching evolution.  Never mind that what I actually do is spend my days teaching little kids how to read.

But I’m also a mother who works outside the home, so despite the fact I’m a Christian she’d say I’m being deceived by Satan and breaking God’s heart with my evil, money-earning wiles.

Haha, I wish public school teachers here passed out condoms. Here in Florida abstinence is highly stressed in sex ed.

 

[livinglongerthanyou]

9 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

Total speculation bus....but in Alyssa's newest IG story (Part 2 of baby gender reveal)....you see many family members.   Despite his tiresome behavior, Ken and Alyssa seem to have a genuine and very close relationship.  Lori's sister also makes an appearance and appears to be warm and genuine.    Lori is once again in the distance /far edge of the group.   again, total speculation, but could be 1 - she/family knows she has negative public perception so she intentionally tries not to be in the shot or 2 - her relationship with Alyssa is not that warm/close -- much like when they broke the news to Ken/Lori and Ken immediately hugs Alyssa, and Lori just stands their awkwardly for a period of time. 

 

I believe that Lori is incapable of connecting with people. She wrote how she wasn't excited, swooning or feeling love as she prepared to marry Ken. She also wrote how it took several days to feel that bond that most mothers have the minute they lay eyes on their babies. I also suspect she was a terrible teacher because she couldn't connect with her students. Not being able to connect with people is why she has no business being a mentor.

[louisa05]

3 hours ago, polecat said:

That was my experience, too, Eowyn. 

Oh, and I started my family at 30, lol. These people have such a constricted view of life.

My college roommate had her first babies (twins) at 33. She now has seven children. None of my close friends had any kids before 30 and only one had to have any fertility assistance. 

The women are all infertile by 30 thing is ridiculous. They worship people like Michelle Duggar who had over half of her kids after 30 (11 of the 19 were born after her 30th b-day and Josiah was born a few weeks before--just looked) but tell other women it is hopeless to have any then. Okay. 

 

[Destiny]

1 hour ago, Libby96 said:

Lori and her ilk like to paint a similar picture of public schools, calling them government indoctrination centers and the like.  According to them, public school teachers like me spend our days passing out condoms and teaching evolution.  Never mind that what I actually do is spend my days teaching little kids how to read.

You mean you don't? *gasp* I thought schools started giving kids condoms in kindergarten! You are clearly the worst teacher ever if you aren't forcing condoms on younglings!

Seriously though, this is a super prevalent rumour that I will never fully understand. Why rag on the people that are teaching your kids things like reading and science? I sure as heck haven't the ability to explain such a huge concept as the fact that letters make words that mean things. The very idea of home schooling my hypothetical child makes me shudder. I will never understand teacher or public school hate.

[mango_fandango]

Fundies make out like children are all gonna end up liberal atheists if they attend public school, which is the most ludicrous idea ever. There are a huge number of church goers/Republicans in America! (Am aware they are not necessarily linked).

[Hane]

I guess I must have screwed up big time when I was a college instructor. I spent all my class time teaching international students how to read, write, and use the English language correctly.

[EowynW]

1 hour ago, livinglongerthanyou said:

I believe that Lori is incapable of connecting with people. She wrote how she wasn't excited, swooning or feeling love as she prepared to marry Ken. She also wrote how it took several days to feel that bond that most mothers have the minute they lay eyes on their babies. I also suspect she was a terrible teacher because she couldn't connect with her students. Not being able to connect with people is why she has no business being a mentor.

i know many women who didn't bond with their babies immediately and they guilted themselves horribly over it. The topic comes up often on pregnancy boards as well with many mothers sharing that it took anywhere from a few days to a few months to bond.  I don't agree with the mindset that women who don't bond with their baby as soon as they hold it is indicative of someone being unable to connect, JMO. Though Lori certainly is unable to! 

[dairyfreelife]

32 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

My college roommate had her first babies (twins) at 33. She now has seven children. None of my close friends had any kids before 30 and only one had to have any fertility assistance. 

The women are all infertile by 30 thing is ridiculous. They worship people like Michelle Duggar who had over half of her kids after 30 (11 of the 19 were born after her 30th b-day and Josiah was born a few weeks before--just looked) but tell other women it is hopeless to have any then. Okay. 

 

I was diagnosed as infertile just after I turned 25, which means I was infertile in my early 20s, maybe even always. So, if I had been married at a young age fundie-style, there would have been little to no naturally conceived babies. The Duggar and Bates high numbers were not in my cards ever. Just because you marry young doesn't mean you'll automatically get a bus full of babies. 

Fundies act like it's some divine thing to have baby after baby and cite people historically while ignoring that yeah, because you hoped some would at least survive to adulthood. They didn't see it as some divine back pat, but as a way of surviving. 

[livinglongerthanyou]

31 minutes ago, EowynW said:

i know many women who didn't bond with their babies immediately and they guilted themselves horribly over it. The topic comes up often on pregnancy boards as well with many mothers sharing that it took anywhere from a few days to a few months to bond.  I don't agree with the mindset that women who don't bond with their baby as soon as they hold it is indicative of someone being unable to connect, JMO. Though Lori certainly is unable to! 

I understand that some women don't immediately bond for a variety of different reasons and they shouldn't feel guilt about this. Pregnancy and birthing can be hard in the best of circumstances. 

For Lori though, the lack of bonding is a pattern of behavior outside the sphere of birthing children. I also suspect she was quite distant from her kids, even when they were small. I think this because it's evident that her needs came first; from letting babies cry it out because she needed her rest, to shuttering them in their rooms for a few hours every day because she needed her rest, to letting the nanny and housekeeper hold her fussy kids because, once again, she needed her rest, to hitting them (sometimes over several hours) because they weren't towing her line (even in diaper changes). 

[Briefly]

On 4/2/2019 at 5:42 PM, Frog99 said:

I think because many of them can’t fathom a woman doing anything other than stereotypical secretarial work- the highly specialized young female who shows extreme deference and submission. They can’t fathom the fact that many women are self-directed and independent in the work arena- I for example, have a very loosely identified set of tasks- essentially, maintain funding for existing long-term grant programs and explore new funding opportunities. How I go about that is up to me and for a great deal of what I do, there are no obvious outputs, unless we agree to . Essentially, I get paid to think. Even before this job, I had a set of guidelines but how I carried out those duties was up to me. These men are the ones- who if they have any supervisory responsibility- are the ones that micromanage their employees and ignore the research that shows the importance of even small bits of autonomy in the workplace.

Yeah secretary = submissive, deferential.  They would be very surprised to visit most offices.  Very surprised.  I say it often:  secretaries run the world.  I'm actually the office manager, but same difference as I've heard the expression used.  I'm sure most other professions are similar, and just because the employee is female that does not mean she's submissive, less-than, or anything!  

[Free Jana Duggar]

31 minutes ago, Briefly said:

Yeah secretary = submissive, deferential.  They would be very surprised to visit most offices.  Very surprised.  I say it often:  secretaries run the world.  I'm actually the office manager, but same difference as I've heard the expression used.  I'm sure most other professions are similar, and just because the employee is female that does not mean she's submissive, less-than, or anything!  

Sometimes the secretary knows more than the boss.  They are the glue that holds business together.  

I know when I was teaching full time I would go to the secretary for something before the principal.  

[Briefly]

8 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

PS.  Please keep Wally in your thoughts and prayers.  He's getting very old, and is struggling to stand and walk.  My poor little Jack Russell Terrier rescue dog is about ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge to join his brother Cosmo, and his cousins T-2 and Hank.  

Of course I will.  They are family, too.  It's hard to know when they are ready, sometimes they make the decision and sometimes we have to make it for them.  I'm sure he knows how loved he is.

4 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

Fingers and paws are crossed here and good toughts are on the way to you.

@samurai_sarah My dirty mind didn't think of fish bones stuck in the troath when hearing St. Blasius. For the non-german speakers, "blasen" means fellatio. But one of the few things I like about the catholic church is their rich canon of saints for everything, many of them female. At least one thing better than the protestants.

Not all protestants are anti-saint!  I'm United Methodist and we acknowledge the saints.  My church, like many UM churches, is named for a saint. But I know what you mean, I don't think that a Baptist church exists in any flavor of Baptist, that is named for a saint!

As far as 30 being too late for a family, I was 30 before our daughter was born.  As I've mentioned before, it took us 7 years. I feel so much for Lori's daughter, I had enough issues dealing with non-family members who just thought it was their duty to get on my for not having a baby already (even though it was not something we were avoiding) and I imagine Lori is so, so much worse than what I had to put up with.

[Petronella]

I had my first pregnancy easily at 30 (baby came at 31). But my fertility dropped sharply thereafter and getting pregnant with baby 2 was much, much harder.

Lots of women do have babies in their thirties or forties but, for some, it can be much less likely then. I would never push anyone to have babies when they’re not ready, but if someone is ready and idly wondering if they should go for it or wait a little longer, I encourage “go for it.” You don’t know if you’ll be one of the “it’s much harder in your thirties” people until you get there, and if you are it can be devastating.

So I guess I’m saying I get where the age concern comes from, but not why it’s Lori’s or her commenters’ business. If someone is really, really, really keen to have kids, then keeping age in mind is a smart thing to do. But why in Lori’s mind this applies to every woman on earth is a mystery to me.

[Hane]

Re bonding with your new baby: My child was much wanted and greatly anticipated. But when she was born and the doctor held her up to me, she might as well have been any other cute baby he’d randomly brought in from some other delivery room. I think it was because I’d pictured her so differently in my mind—as having the same light brown hair and blue eyes as her father and my youngest sister, when she was born with the same nearly-black hair and eyes as my middle sister and I. When I saw her I was reminded of the old cliched term “little stranger” and felt she and I were getting to know each other during our time in the hospital. I still remember her hematite eyes looking for me the first night the nurse brought her to my room. 

On the JRod thread, we were talking about Jill’s date night while she had a house full of sick kids. Hell, that hematite-eyed baby is a self-sufficient 40-year-old mother and professional woman now, but I want to drive the 50 miles to her house in the middle of the night because she’s running a 101.5 F. fever.

[Frog99]

Hang on to your hats, FJ. Expect Lori to have a post on women in sports soon. Exactly what that has to do with her supposed “Titus 2 ministry”, I don’t know.

On her blog comments about women keeping silent in church, a commenter of course supports Lori’s narrative and then makes a remark about women in sports.

My 11 year old is athletically inclined and a natural leader. Her peers are drawn to her. They trust her. We talk often about the responsibility that comes with leadership and trust from others. I refuse to stifle her God-given personality/ gifts because she is female. I’m so glad I get to be her mama.  

Spoiler

 And then we have this gem: 

Unrelated, but wanted to note- dear Tassia is hooked in with Sev and that crew, and I believe attends the church of Israel (I hate calling it a church- maybe we need an acronym or code word). 

*I don’t know what happened to my spoiler boxes for the other two images and can’t get them to load right.

 

[Lgirlrocks]

Both of my cousins from my moms older sister had kids later in life. Val always had a hard time getting guys to date her and didn’t meet her now husband until after college. She’s in her 40’s and has three boys. Her brother met his wife in college. She was younger than him. They have two kids. Be fruitful and multiply was said because they were populating the earth. And having a quiverful of arrows was because most kids didn’t survive and many hands make light work. 

once again you miss the mark. It’s not about not needing men. They will always be needed. It’s about women being able to choose to work or choose to stay home. Most women can’t stay home because the cost of living it to expensive. I can’t stay home because I have student loan and car debt. Without the student loans I wouldn’t be able to get a decent paying job. I know that doesn’t matter to you but my mom didn’t have the money to pay my way and my younger brothers way through school. I worked my way through school to pay for as much as I could out of pocket, to help my mom with the bills, and to buy my own things. 

Why did my mom work? Because my dad died and we would have starved without the money she made. Not everyone wants to work but some HAVE to. 

[delphinium65]

Hey, Lori actually 'credits' women with an invention today!  Way to go, Lori.  Pick out one thing, and call it evil.  Never mind 'the availability of birth control which men created for them and abortion.'  Nope, let's go straight for the female jugular, because EVERYTHING a woman's fault. 

[SweetLaurel]

23 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Why did my mom work? Because my dad died and we would have starved without the money she made. Not everyone wants to work but some HAVE to. 

Just like me and my situation - my husband died and I'm working 2 jobs - Lori won't preach to our 'exceptions'.  I was banned for saying I worked so my kids could eat and have a roof over their heads and what did she think I should do instead?  And man, I was glad I had skills so I could, and I'd make darn sure my girls did also.  (I've worked all my life, evilness personified I am.  Even though my Command Man demanded I did when I was bawling my eyes out not wanting to go back and leave the tiny babies.  In retrospect, I realize as a penis bearer, he knew better, of course.  I was just an emotional female.)     Weirdly, she had no other resort but to delete and ban hammer.   Your mom and I, we hate God and his perfect ways, in Lori's eyes.  It is the only answer.  

[polecat]

16 hours ago, Destiny said:

The very idea of home schooling my hypothetical child makes me shudder. I will never understand teacher or public school hate.

You know what's funny? Homeschooling my kids is exactly why I appreciate public school teachers so much. Don't get me wrong -- I absolutely loved the years I had my kids at home. I feel like we have a closer relationship today because of it, and my kids remember those years fondly. We all had a great time and had lots of experiences we couldn't have had had they been in PS. But now that they're in PS, they're having experiences that they couldn't have had at home. And boy-oh-boy, do I appreciate their teachers because I know exactly how much work must go into teaching so many kids every single day and putting so much effort into each one of those children. Those teachers are worth their weight in gold and thanks and appreciation (and also pencils. I think kids must eat pencils. Please send pencils in with your kids. Teachers will love you).

22 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Hey, Lori actually 'credits' women with an invention today!  Way to go, Lori.  Pick out one thing, and call it evil.  Never mind 'the availability of birth control which men created for them and abortion.'  Nope, let's go straight for the female jugular, because EVERYTHING a woman's fault. 

I suppose vacuum aspiration couldn't possibly be used for miscarriages to save women's lives, eh, Lori? But sure, call it evil.

[delphinium65]

9 minutes ago, polecat said:

I suppose vacuum aspiration couldn't possibly be used for miscarriages to save women's lives, eh, Lori? But sure, call it evil.

Does Lori even know it can be used for that?  I had a miscarriage years ago, the bleeding wouldn't stop, and I had to have a procedure done to remove the products of conception that were still there.  But I don't suppose Lori would consider my life worth saving.    

[LouisvilleGirl]

14 hours ago, Briefly said:

Not all protestants are anti-saint!  I'm United Methodist and we acknowledge the saints.  My church, like many UM churches, is named for a saint. But I know what you mean, I don't think that a Baptist church exists in any flavor of Baptist, that is named for a saint!

I actually attend a Baptist Church named after a saint...but I think it's more for the area of town--the region is actually called St. _________________. It's still quite funny to be asked about when our fish fry will be or how often I go to confession!

[elliha]

No one told my body 30 was too late. Had my daughter the day before my 30th birthday and my son a couple weeks after my 34th birthday. My mom and sister both had a child each in their late 30s and one of my great grandmothers married at age 34 and had 5 kids, three of them born after 40. Yes, some may experience lower fertility and it is something to take into consideration but most women will be able to have at least 1-2 babies even if they marry at 30. Some may even have large families, even larger than Lori's own family. I think it is not unlikely that if I didn't use birth control I would be on my fourth kid or so by now as I seem to regain fertility very early too despite full breastfeeding with both kids. Big families are common in my family history and many had kids after 35 and some after 40 too so I am glad I have some control over this myself today. I would not be a great mom of 13 (11 surviving) like my other great grandmother. Even adding a third child would mean stretching myself to my limits and that is why that is unlikely to happen. 

[SuperNova]

19 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

I was always tagged as the one "who abandoned the family"  WTF.  

I'm happy that you were still able to do what was best for you despite the guilt trip. A high school friend of my daughter's was put through the same thing and caved to family pressure. She was ready to move out after HS but her family made her feel guilty about "abandoning" the grandma that she lived with and cared for, so she stayed. After a year of attending the local JC she was able to get a scholarship for a Uni that was 2 hours from home. She found excuse after excuse not to go and eventually lost her chance because she didn't pay her housing deposit on time. To this day I think she sabotaged herself on purpose. She and I had a conversation specifically about housing, I even offered to give her the deposit if she didn't have the money but she insisted that it wasn't a problem. She's still living with grandma, working at a fast food joint, and no longer attending JC. We usually see her when Baby Nova comes to visit and it makes me sad to see how bitter she's become.