Bates 26: Do Not Attempt This at Home

[Ali]

Lawson posed in such a way to make sure everyone sees his badge. He is even using his hand to keep his jacket from blocking it.  

[mollysmom]

1 hour ago, lumpentheologie said:

Wow, Jackson with a new haircut is a mini Lawson. 

I can't even with this family! They are SO full of themselves! What in the world happened to "modesty"? It's disgusting.

[backyard sylph]

Is Jackson about to out-Lawson Lawson?

I expect there's a pun in that for someone who cares to make the effort.

[Audrey2]

That definitely looks like the Bates Fundie GQ Testosterone Crew.

[Dominionatrix]

17 minutes ago, backyard sylph said:

Is Jackson about to out-Lawson Lawson?

I expect there's a pun in that for someone who cares to make the effort.

"A New Low"son?

"How Bro Can They Go?"

Edited April 1, 2019 by Dominionatrix

[Mrs.Right]

4 hours ago, mollysmom said:

I can't even with this family! They are SO full of themselves! What in the world happened to "modesty"? It's disgusting.

$$$ That’s what happened. They could never afford snazzy clothes and fashionable haircuts before now. 

[ophelia]

I bet there are a lot fundie maidens out there drooling over this picture.

[nastyhobbitses]

Lawson Bates reminds me of a Russian doll: full. Of. Him. Self. 

[llucie]

Lawson managed to take a picture where he looks as tall as his brothers and he didnt even have to be on his toes as he usually does! The wonders of perspective.

Edited April 1, 2019 by llucie
.

[WhoompThereItIs]

Who's the one standing next to Lawson? He looks like his twin!

Edited April 1, 2019 by WhoompThereItIs

[rebeccawriter01]

2 hours ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

Who's the one standing next to Lawson? He looks like his twin!

Lawson answered on Instagram that it's Jackson. That kid has grown up. 

[NoKidsAndCounting]

13 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Lawson Bates reminds me of a Russian doll: full. Of. Him. Self. 

I love this comment.  Are you a fan of RuPaul's Drag Race?  Made me chuckle.

[fluffernutter]

Dear lord. Could they be any less modest or humble? It's all so shallow.  It's all about how handsome they think they are. Same with Carlin and Evan. All about their looks.

[just_ordinary]

17 hours ago, llucie said:

Lawson managed to take a picture where he looks as tall as his brothers and he didnt even have to be on his toes as he usually does! The wonders of perspective.

But he still looks really small. I have never really noticed it before but in this photo it instantaneously caught my eye. 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

I wonder, do they prearrange who will look at the camera, look down, and look off into the distance?  I'd really like to know.

[RosyDaisy]

Wow, Jackson with a new haircut is a mini Lawson. 

Looks like a fundie version of Playgirl.[emoji15]

[Bobology]

On 4/2/2019 at 2:30 AM, just_ordinary said:

But he still looks really small. I have never really noticed it before but in this photo it instantaneously caught my eye. 

Maybe because his jacket is too large for him?

 

 

14 hours ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

I wonder, do they prearrange who will look at the camera, look down, and look off into the distance?  I'd really like to know.

They probably take around 50 shots and choose the one they can all agree on. And by 'all' I mean Lawson.

[llucie]

No live this week. Lawson had a concert and like other times he was busy the rest of the family seems unable to learn how to do a facebook live. I get that they probably are not so used to technology, specially Kelly and Gil since they are older. But they have so many teens and none of them knows how to work a phone? I get the "dangers of internet" for sheltered fundies, but nowadays not nowing how to use technology can be very detrimental to you, you need it for everything.

[nokidsmom]

On 4/1/2019 at 10:11 PM, fluffernutter said:

Dear lord. Could they be any less modest or humble? It's all so shallow.  It's all about how handsome they think they are. Same with Carlin and Evan. All about their looks.

I can't help but think that the amount of preening that Lawson and his brothers do might actually be a hindrance in attracting a helpmeet.    It seems over the top to us, how do folks in fundie circles actually view this?  It doesn't seem well, godly.

On 4/1/2019 at 12:13 AM, ophelia said:

I bet there are a lot fundie maidens out there drooling over this picture.

But the maiden's Daddies might not be so impressed.    Yes, they look good but can they actually do something that would matter to a fundie Dad?    Like earn a real living?   Stop looking in the mirror and focus on Jebus?   Mayhap Gil's reputation as a grifter might make some Dads hesitate that like father, like son?   Maybe some Dads don't want to see their daughters paraded out on TV?   As much as the family is fundie royalty, I would like to bet that there's some fundie families who steer clear of this bunch.   

[Lurky]

8 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

I can't help but think that the amount of preening that Lawson and his brothers do might actually be a hindrance in attracting a helpmeet.    It seems over the top to us, how do folks in fundie circles actually view this?  It doesn't seem well, godly.

Especially when they're using dressing up to go to church as an excuse to primp and preen and spend ages getting the perfect shot of themselves.

It's so weird that modesty is such a cornerstone of their beliefs, but in practice they are the opposite.  They're just screaming "look at me, I'm pretty", and while it should be refreshing that even within their toxic masculinity, the menfolk are allowed to care about what they look like, and be into fashion etc, it's wildly hypocritical in the context of the belief system they want to force the rest of the world to adopt.

[WiseGirl]

9 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

But the maiden's Daddies might not be so impressed.    Yes, they look good but can they actually do something that would matter to a fundie Dad

I never thought of it this way before but you could be on to something. I can see it now Lawson asking to court, the dad asking him how he will support his daughter, and Lawson replying something on the lines of ummm I can pose really well for Instagram photos. 

 

Edited April 5, 2019 by WiseGirl
Spelling is challenging

[just_ordinary]

6 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

I never thought of it this way before but you could be on to something. I can see it now Lawson asking to court, the dad asking him how he will support his daughter, and Lawson replying something on the lines of ummm I can pose really well for Instagram photos. 

 

Lawson, at least has his lawn service (even though I think Trace does or did the actual work) and his music. I actually don’t think the Dads are afraid because of money but because of the tv exploitation, the new modesty standards the Bates have (hello Whitney), their utterly vain behaviour etc. 

The Bates boys probably think they are too good (looking) for many families now. Their lifestyle is very different to other Fundies due to their TV money. I think they might be too superficial to be interested in normal Fundie girls.

[lumpentheologie]

Trace is sweeping Alyssa's floor in her latest instagram story.  I wonder what he's doing in Florida.  

[QuiverFullofBooks]

No one posted a recap of this week’s episode, so I’ll give it a shot.  Gil is taking the boys muddin’ (renting vehicles that they drive in the mud). This is for Zach’s 30th birthday, but he doesn’t know that. Kelly says “idear” for “idea” twice while explaining this. Kelly’s staying home with the girls and monitoring Tori, who thinks she might have the baby soon, but as a first-time mom she’s not really sure. Nathan flipped the muddin’ vehicle last time. Kelly wants Jeb & Jud to ride with Gil, because he’s the safest driver. They’re at a place called Brimstone in the mountains with nice cabins (it’s brimstonerecreation.com). There’s a safety meeting that basically says “keep your helmets and seat belts on.”

In a muddy field in the mountains, Nathan is whooping it up. The other guys (not yet mudding) say “no wonder he’s not married” and “he might not live to get married.” Chad is holding a small boy; I wasn’t sure if it was Carson or Bradley, who was mentioned later as being on the trip. There wasn’t a little boy in the scene where everyone (including Chad) was mudding, so I wonder if Erin was there off-camera. Gil flips his vehicle. Once it clear that everyone’s okay, this is very amusing.  Jeb wants to call Kelly and tattle, and Kelly calls right then with the news that Tori is probably in labor.

At Tori’s apartment, she’s been awake since four and not sure if she should go to the hospital. Kelly recommends getting checked out. 

Back on the mountain, the guys go skeet shooting. Erin and Carlin decorate the cabin for Zach’s birthday. They explain that the cabin wasn’t far from home. His present from Jackson, Warden, and Isaiah is a smart watch. Erin and Carlin left a decorated cheesecake in the fridge. There’s no mention of dinner; presumably the women cooked that too, but UP would rather not mention it.

That night, Tori’s in labor at the hospital. Erin says in a TH that the hospital was skeptical that she was in labor, so she was discouraged. Kelly tells her to walk, and when she stands up her water breaks. She gets an epidural. It’s after midnight, so it’s Alyssa’s birthday.

The stars in the mountains are incredible and probably UP-enhanced. Everybody’s asleep at the cabin when Kelly calls Gil to summon him and Lawson to the hospital. They pick up Erin and Carlin (or were they already there?) and drive to Nashville. Carlin and Lawson are being extra in the car and filming themselves. In a TH, Gil mocks Lawson for offering advice to Tori over the phone (though my guess is that Lawson actually does know a good deal about childbirth from his mother’s home births). Tori is excited and scared. Bobby said not a single word in this episode, presumably so that UP wouldn’t have to pay him. Next week: Kade arrives!

[TeaELSee]

The entire timeline was so stupid and not at all logical or believable. 

I forgot the name of the park they were staying at, but I looked it up and it blew the entire “boys only” story. It looked like it was an hour north and closer to Nashville area where Tori was having her baby.

1. As Quiverful above mentioned there was a lot of zig zag of little boys included and then missing. Somebody was watching them.

2. The girls supposedly went up and decorated while they were out. (2 hour drive just to decorate?) 

3. Kelly calls and tells Gil that Tori is in labor. Gil then states he and Lawson drove home to pick up Erin and someone else then drove to Nashville all while fretting they wouldn’t arrive in time. Added bonus, they were driving on rural highways and not the interstate which makes no sense if they were coming from where they live. 

Sofa king stupid. There is no way they all drove back and forth like that, plus driving back to pick up Erin would have added at least 3 hours to the trip to Nashville. I don’t understand why they make shit up like this.

i clearly have too much time on my hands.