Dillards 71: YAAAAAY

[SillyDillys]

I think if jill and derick werent in the fundie beliefs, they would have divorced not too long after Izzy's first birthday. It's so obvious that they want two very different things and all of this #besthubby/wifeyever crap is just a coverup for 'holy crap this is not how we thought marriage and babies were gonna be'

Then again if they weren't into fundie christianity/courtship they would have only dated and never made it to the altar.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Can I just say I chuckle whenever I see the acronym SCA? It gives me a laugh to imagine Derick and Jill in the Society for Creative Anachronism. The funny thing is that I could actually see them being totally into it if they weren't fundies.

Agreed. Derick would be the superior know it all who points out everything that's not historically accurate. I could also picture alternate universe secular Derick as a D&D geek who lives in his mom's basement and plays online video games all day.

[artdecades]

23 hours ago, SillyDillys said:

Jill also went from being the golden daughter and the most popular one on a high rated TV show to being one of the most disliked and not being in front of the cameras. I honestly believe she thought that after she got married and pregnant, she would have an easy home birth, throw Israel off on the next generation of sister moms and get pregnant again in 6 months. Rinse and repeat. Also she would still be in the big house, maybe go on a mission for two weeks once a year and Derick would be the perfect fundie husband. When the total opposite happened, she did not know what to do. As much as I hate both of them. I kinda do feel somewhat bad for Jill. Her parents sold her this amazing idea of marriage and kids, but did her a great disservice.

I am gonna challenge the idea that she was the most popular one on the show. Golden daughter, for sure, but she really only was the most popular/attention grabbing by virtue of being the first daughter to get married and have kids. Jessa and Jinger were always the stars of the show and as soon as Jessa started her own family she eclipsed Jill easily.

[Georgiana]

2 minutes ago, artdecades said:

I am gonna challenge the idea that she was the most popular one on the show. Golden daughter, for sure, but she really only was the most popular/attention grabbing by virtue of being the first daughter to get married and have kids. Jessa and Jinger were always the stars of the show and as soon as Jessa started her own family she eclipsed Jill easily.

I agree that she wasn’t actually the most popular overall, but she had a window of being the “star Duggar” that was pretty significant and seemed to go a bit to her head. I think Jill considered herself the most promising Duggar offspring, expected to become the next  Michelle, and completely expected she would be the main media focus of the next generation of Duggar media. She seemed very personally assured of this. Jessa looked like the afterthought/b-story, which is how I think Jill expected things to stay. I think Jill expected a typical Counting On episode to feature St Jill heroically homeschooling in Central America in between shifts at the maternity center like an IBLP Mother Teresa, interspliced with a “relatable” B story where Jessa struggles to adult for levity. Occasionally, we might see milestones in other siblings’ lives, with a lot of time spent focusing on how Jill is helping with those milestones and what Jill thinks and would advise. 

I think Jill still doesn’t understand how she went from being the star to being off the show, how she went from Golden Bride to being essentially replaced (on what was partially HER spinoff) by her own buddy Joy, and I’m kind of with her on that: it’s been one hell of a fall out. It’s more of a free fall than a spiral. 

[SillyDillys]

37 minutes ago, artdecades said:

I am gonna challenge the idea that she was the most popular one on the show. Golden daughter, for sure, but she really only was the most popular/attention grabbing by virtue of being the first daughter to get married and have kids. Jessa and Jinger were always the stars of the show and as soon as Jessa started her own family she eclipsed Jill easily.

Oh I agree. That's what I meant she was the star for a season. Alot of people watched her wedding and she got a people magazine cover to announce her pregnancy. But anything else she was just ugh

[nst]

3 hours ago, Georgiana said:

I agree that she wasn’t actually the most popular overall, but she had a window of being the “star Duggar” that was pretty significant and seemed to go a bit to her head. I think Jill considered herself the most promising Duggar offspring, expected to become the next  Michelle, and completely expected she would be the main media focus of the next generation of Duggar media. She seemed very personally assured of this. Jessa looked like the afterthought/b-story, which is how I think Jill expected things to stay. I think Jill expected a typical Counting On episode to feature St Jill heroically homeschooling in Central America in between shifts at the maternity center like an IBLP Mother Teresa, interspliced with a “relatable” B story where Jessa struggles to adult for levity. Occasionally, we might see milestones in other siblings’ lives, with a lot of time spent focusing on how Jill is helping with those milestones and what Jill thinks and would advise. 

I think Jill still doesn’t understand how she went from being the star to being off the show, how she went from Golden Bride to being essentially replaced (on what was partially HER spinoff) by her own buddy Joy, and I’m kind of with her on that: it’s been one hell of a fall out. It’s more of a free fall than a spiral. 

i think we realized early on when she was hardly on the spinoff that carried her name, so they had to change the name of the show. And essentially she didn't want us to know she didn't have proper prenatal care for Sam, unless she counts her idiot husband using a doppler. 

[Tatar-tot]

8 hours ago, SillyDillys said:

I think if jill and derick werent in the fundie beliefs, they would have divorced not too long after Izzy's first birthday. It's so obvious that they want two very different things and all of this #besthubby/wifeyever crap is just a coverup for 'holy crap this is not how we thought marriage and babies were gonna be'

Then again if they weren't into fundie christianity/courtship they would have only dated and never made it to the altar.

It is a major red flag when you need to keep telling yourself you love your partner.  It should not be this hard at this stage of the game.  It will be wonder if they are still married by the time he graduates law school. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, Tatar-tot said:

It is a major red flag when you need to keep telling yourself you love your partner.  It should not be this hard at this stage of the game.  It will be wonder if they are still married by the time he graduates law school. 

If they aren’t he’ll be the one who walked.

I will put money on her being completely incapable of leaving him.  If it’s up to her they’ll be together for the next 60+ year happiness or living honesty be damned.

[SillyDillys]

1 minute ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If they aren’t he’ll be the one who walked.

I will put money on her being completely incapable of leaving him.  If it’s up to her they’ll be together for the next 60+ year happiness or living honesty be damned.

Theres no doubt in my mind that if they were to divorce he would be the one to initiate it. As much as he acts like he's the next savior, it wouldn't surprise me if just says screw it and leaves Jill and the kids. Hell, he's walked out on responsibility before.  If any Duggar couple were to divorce, my money is in the Dumbards 

[Tatar-tot]

There are plenty of sweet young things at the University of Arkansas who would love to listen to Detrick’s woes. 

[Anna Bolinas]

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I will put money on her being completely incapable of leaving him.  If it’s up to her they’ll be together for the next 60+ year happiness or living honesty be damned.

That would be like admitting defeat, and for the girl who rushed down the aisle so she could be the First Official Duggar Daughter to get married, I don't think she would be able to do that without completely shattering any sense of self.

I feel somewhat bad for Jill, in spite of her reprehensible beliefs, as one woman to another, but I take some smug satisfaction in the fact that Jim Bob messed up so badly in his matchmaking. All this promotion of courtship and courting rules and blah blah blah, and his daughter is slumming it with her melted wax candle of a husband. He should thank his lucky stars that Ben and Jessa found Jeremy for Jinger; even though he's as awful as Derick, he at least has a veneer of normalcy and toes the Duggar party line.

[singsingsing]

I don't want to seem like I'm gleefully anticipating it or anything, but it really will be interesting to see who ends up being the first Duggar couple to divorce.

[Georgiana]

I think Derick Dillard is still trying to milk the “married to Jill Duggar” angle. I think he hopes that his famous wife and twitter pontificating will land him a job that’s essentially a better version of what Josh had with the FRC. 

I think as soon as being married to Jill no longer has “perks” for Derick, things will go downhill fast. And I think it will be very confusing for Jill because I don’t think she will understand what changed or why it is happening. 

[singsingsing]

2 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

I think as soon as being married to Jill no longer has “perks” for Derick, things will go downhill fast. And I think it will be very confusing for Jill because I don’t think she will understand what changed or why it is happening. 

I wonder if this hasn't happened already. It seems like they may have lost their Jim Bob funding (maybe - big maybe - they're no longer in the mansion, but Derick's funding law school somehow), and they're no longer on the show. The Duggars' star has also diminished a fair bit from its height right around the time he married Jill to now, post-scandals. Jill is the only reason he has followers on social media to rant to, but I wonder how much he truly realizes that. I could see him thinking that people actually give a crap about what he says because he's Derick Dillard, not because he's married to a Duggar.

[SillyDillys]

16 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I don't want to seem like I'm gleefully anticipating it or anything, but it really will be interesting to see who ends up being the first Duggar couple to divorce.

I'll admit I have a tiny bit of glee. Especially when turd's affair was uncovered. Anna did so much preaching about how her marriage was the proper Christian marriage. Sure turd was a part of the FRC, but let's not forget anna has all the same hateful beliefs and preached that their marriage was the best example and everyone should follow them and look how holy they are. Call me mean and bitter but I have a little chuckle when any Duggar gets knocked down from the holy high chair

[CaricatureQualities]

Really, in the past 5 years Jill's life has changed so drastically and publically...I wonder if it has all even caught up with her yet. 

In 2013-14 Jill was:

-on her family's hit reality show which was the highest rated on TLC 

-her family and lifestyle were being praised and the Duggar biz was a success, the advertisers were there and the money was flowing. So much positive feedback

-and she was in position for all the focus to be on her with her courtship and marriage, it was her time to shine

-and she was enjoying being a successful author and mentor to youth with her sisters writing Growing Up Duggar and touring it with them etc...

-She has her wedding and her all about Jill episode

-they get to live in that huge house that's bigger than everyone elses

-yay pregnant! Jill is an amazing midwife so best pregnancy and birth ever!!...

-not quite

-leaving home and becoming a wife and mother so fast is a a big change for anyone to be fair and especially for the Duggar girls (and boys) who go from being chaperoned and sheltered to a married sexual adult in a flash and then become parents also as fast as they can

-Oh shit Central America sucks and Jill is for real distressed and scared and seperated from what she is used to and seems fairly traumatized when speaking of it

-also whenever that midwifery fallout happened with her teacher so that went to shit

-then BOOM! the josh scandals and all the implications of that, she is publicly re-victimized, her family falls from grace, her parents get slammed and the magazine covers aren't fun anymore... she and Jessa defend Josh to their own detriment, the advertisers pull out and the show is cancelled. 

-they the siblings manage to salvage their brand and get a spin-off with Jill's name attached to it

-Sam's birth and whatever the fuck happened there

-Derick and Jill as a couple get continuously slammed for grifting 

-Derick fuck's it all up with his hateful tweets and they get fired from the show and lose that income and that platform. 

-Derick continues to fuck up on twitter and becomes more and more disliked 

-Jill becomes known on social media for being a terrible cook, is really bad at social media in general and because of that gets severely judged for nearly everything she posts. Her and D are both really bad with the social media thing. While the other couples in the family manage to use it to some benefit all  they do is hurt themselves with it. 

Anyway, my point is if 2014 was the peak of Jill"s Golden Period it has really all been shit from there for her (except having her 2 boys of course, I wouldn't count them as shit...but they are a big responsibility) and a lot of changes and trauma to process (fairly publicly) in a pretty short period of time...while parenting mostly alone. So I wonder how much of it she really has processed or how she reconciles how she got from that life to this one in 5 short years.

 

 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, CaricatureQualities said:

So I wonder how much of it she really has processed or how she reconciles how she got from that life to this one in 5 short years.

The Lord is testing her contentment.

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

I just need say: I just caught up from thread 63!!! FINALLLY!!!!111!!1!11 Honestly, I had my baby somewhere around 63 and got behind and wow does this thread move sometimes, took like 6 months ?

I have two comments that are a little off topic, but they stuck with me and I wanted to add:

re: their housing. I have not seen this mentioned yet as a possible answer. We are actually renting out house from a church. As far as I can gather this particular church (we don't attend it as we are Catholic and they are Protestant, but boy they tried) owns this row of house mainly to have the land and is not really allowed to just have them sitting empty/not worth it (they only just got the last one, in the middle of the row no less, the year before last) so they rent them out at a ridiculously low rent for the size of the house. Not the best condition and they are not the most attentive landlords, not bad by any means, just sadly don't care about these could be gorgeous houses. All that to say, it may be that Cross Church have a lot of land and houses on them, some intended to be kept for their ministry school, but also some that they just rent out to make some more money and retain the land in the meantime until they decided what to do with it.

re: the curse words drift. I don't want to resurrect a dead and moved on topic, but that drift made remember the very best compliment I ever received. Years ago I was dating a guy and I forget what happened, but something made me go on a huge rant (probably politics?). I will never forget he said: "You know, you don't cuss very much and because of that, when you do, it really makes an impact on whatever you are saying". I never noticed and though I actually cursed a lot, but through quite a few years that has stuck with me, how much power word choice has. I actually decided I am going to rein it back in this year and be that person again. So many great words out there and I want to use more them and less of other (so they have that impact again).

Yay for catching up, I look forward to commenting on Jill's uhm...interesting?...life

[Bobology]

12 hours ago, SillyDillys said:

but I have a little chuckle when any Duggar gets knocked down from the holy high chair "highchair"

Fixed that (and perhaps that was your intent)

Because they are such big cheap babies

[Glasgowghirl]

I have said before Jill's posts saying besthubbyever with him doing mundane things reminds me of Jenelle Evans and her posts about which ever soul mate she has that month, she would post all that stuff then next day or week then either her, her bf or both of them would be arrested on Domestic violence charges.

I agree Jill and Derick are a couple that if they were not fundie would like you have divorced or separated by now. They seem less happy and compatable than even Josh and Anna, when your marriage looks more in trouble than the ones that had a cheating scandal only a couple of years ago then you are in trouble.

 

[HarryPotterFan]

I bet Derick really regrets that covenant marriage, even if he can’t admit that to himself 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I bet Derick really regrets that covenant marriage, even if he can’t admit that to himself 

Yep, if he thinks about the bill of goods that he (and Jill) were sold and bought into, hook, line and sinker, this one has to rankle.  He not only inadvertently but willingly walked in a prison of sorts* and agreed to make the bars stronger.

* figuratively speaking but that guy strikes me as stuck and seriously unhappy with his life.

[Coconut Flan]

Eh, all he has to do is move to Oklahoma for 90 days to establish residency and file there.  With his love for OSU that shouldn't cause him much pain.  That apparently won't happen while he's in law school, but the covenant marriage is only a noose if he files for divorce in three states.

[nastyhobbitses]

22 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

Agreed. Derick would be the superior know it all who points out everything that's not historically accurate. I could also picture alternate universe secular Derick as a D&D geek who lives in his mom's basement and plays online video games all day.

Don't do D&D geeks dirty like that. 

[mpheels]

Even without the covenant marriage, it would be a messy, contentious divorce. I’m not sure the technicalities of the covenant marriage make it worse it any meaningful way. You know JB would hire all the lawyers and fight like hell of one of the in-laws tried to leave the Duggarverse.