Bro Gary Hawkins 8: F is for Felony and No Longer Funny

[Ozlsn]

14 hours ago, PumaLover said:

He's been thinking about his wife Becky who's had a migraine for 9 days and she's taken medicine. Well fuck, I also suffer from migraines so no snark, I feel awful for her. I know how that feels. I am guessing she doesn't have proper insurance where she can get medication and that is horrible. Migraines don't go away. Even in my unemployed days I could still afford my prescriptions so I do feel very bad for her. Plus having to listen to Bro Gary while having a migraine. I am sure she still has to get up to prepare the gravy and weens though.

This somehow has to do with heaven and eternity. 

I could see where Becky’s thoughts might be turning to eternity after 9 days with a migraine listening to Bro Gary.

On 9/30/2018 at 8:34 AM, mango_fandango said:

My grandfather says “Wenzdee”, “Fridee” etc. And he’s not American. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s a regional thing. My grandma, aunt and mum (his daughters) don’t say it. I don’t know if I’ve come across anyone else who pronounces days of the week like that. 

Growing up our church youth group leader was known as "Uncle Tuesdee" because his surname was "Mundy". It took me about a decade to realise just how strong an accent we must have had. I still laugh at the whole "did you come here to die?" "No we came here yesterdie" thing although it doesn't really work in either my current or growing up accents. Works in parts of Sydney apparently.

[AlwaysExcited]

On 9/29/2018 at 8:04 PM, griffin said:

This time , he spent the first whole minute saying it was Fridee. Yep, it's Fridee. Sundee's comin'. 

Now I'm having Rebecca Black's Friday playing in my head, but with Gary's accent. 

Fridee, Fridee, gonna get dawn on Fridee... Tomorrow it's Saturdee, Sundee cames after that.... 

[CTRLZero]

I'm having some electrical work done, and when I returned to check in on the progress, the electrician had a radio program of hell-and-brimstone preachin' going full blast.  Who knew that people listened to that sort of thing voluntarily?  It was a little scary, and I felt like I was not only going to hell, but in hell!  If I'm lucky, the electrician will be raptured up before he gives me the bill, ha ha!

Anyway, I truly was interested to find out that people listen to this sort of thing on their own time, and that there are more articulate versions of Bro Gary out there screaming at the saved and unsaved alike.  It was nice when he left, and I could listen to my soothing heathen jazz again.

[Briefly]

@PumaLover I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  That is very hard.

As far as days of the week, tomorrow is Fridee and I am hapee about that.

[nokidsmom]

On 10/3/2018 at 8:11 AM, CTRLZero said:

I'm having some electrical work done, and when I returned to check in on the progress, the electrician had a radio program of hell-and-brimstone preachin' going full blast.  Who knew that people listened to that sort of thing voluntarily?  It was a little scary, and I felt like I was not only going to hell, but in hell!  If I'm lucky, the electrician will be raptured up before he gives me the bill, ha ha!

Anyway, I truly was interested to find out that people listen to this sort of thing on their own time, and that there are more articulate versions of Bro Gary out there screaming at the saved and unsaved alike.  It was nice when he left, and I could listen to my soothing heathen jazz again.

Now I am hoping that the washing machine repair man gets raptured before he gives me the bill!  

DH would listen to some screaming, fire and brimstone preacher on a local radio station just to keep himself awake when driving home late at night.    It worked for that purpose but only that.  

[PumaLover]

OK folks, Bro Gary updated his cover profile. 5 times. Same pic. 

[Georgiana]

OH NO! Bro Gary’s phone camera has been possessed by the same face-blurring demon that has also taken over Zsu Anderson’s camera! 

[AliceInFundyland]

1 minute ago, Georgiana said:

OH NO! Bro Gary’s phone camera has been possessed by the same face-blurring demon that has also taken over Zsu Anderson’s camera! 

They look remarkably polished. I was startled.

[Carol]

They look like the before photo of a new plexus diet supplement.

[AliceInFundyland]

Some people have an evil twin. Well, looking back and forth between this guy and Puma’s avatar I’m tempted to call him Gary’s kinder, gentler twin Larry.

[MayMay1123]

 it was probably becky who filtered that pic, I doubt ghaw would be able to figure out how to do it. I think there's another one of her that's heavily blurred too

[zeppelincommander]

To be fair, my new nexus phone came with the face blur preselected, and after taking way too many doll people photos, I found the setting to turn it off.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

15 hours ago, Georgiana said:

OH NO! Bro Gary’s phone camera has been possessed by the same face-blurring demon that has also taken over Zsu Anderson’s camera! 

Bro Gary’s nose demon has done gone and infected their phone.  Oh nose!

[LovelyLuna]

Meme I found recently, Everyone is doing it. 

[unholypoledancer]

In defense of filters, no makeup needed, I look great even with a breakout. 

Dare I say they seem almost like normal people? Like just chilling at home one night and we decided to take a cute picture? 

It's okay, I'll wait for something to happen that washes that idea away. 

[PumaLover]

Took this at the fair yesterday. The ween is even red!

[Snarkylark]

Ok, folks. I think I discovered why Bro Gary can’t/ won’t put roots down and be a pastor (besides his obvious ineptitude, but I digress.) Bro posted a video of two other pastors duking it out about the Bible and what it says about divorce. At one point one of the KJV-only preachers (duh) says that a man who is divorced is not allowed to be a pastor. He can evangelize and preach or teach but cannot hold the office of pastor. So there you go! 

[MarblesMom]

^ That and that pesky sexual offender thingy.... just Gary and his shadow(s).

[Snarkylark]

1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

^ That and that pesky sexual offender thingy.... just Gary and his shadow(s).

Does that matter though if one wanted to start a church? Are there really any rules about that? 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK folks Bro Gary is in Texas and wants us to guess where they’re eating!  I’m guessing Chick Fil A or House of Weens.

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

OK folks Bro Gary is in Texas and wants us to guess where they’re eating!

From a trough?

[Briefly]

On 10/8/2018 at 6:14 PM, Snarkylark said:

Ok, folks. I think I discovered why Bro Gary can’t/ won’t put roots down and be a pastor (besides his obvious ineptitude, but I digress.) Bro posted a video of two other pastors duking it out about the Bible and what it says about divorce. At one point one of the KJV-only preachers (duh) says that a man who is divorced is not allowed to be a pastor. He can evangelize and preach or teach but cannot hold the office of pastor. So there you go! 

The Baptist Church doesn't prohibit divorced pastors from holding the office, but they can't remarry if they want to continue as pastors.  I'm not sure about any churches, though.

[Snarkylark]

29 minutes ago, Briefly said:

The Baptist Church doesn't prohibit divorced pastors from holding the office, but they can't remarry if they want to continue as pastors.  I'm not sure about any churches, though.

Exactly, he’s remarried. Although, according to the debate, they aren’t all in agreement with that, either. 

[Dandruff]

I think his marital status is the least of the issues the Baptist church should have with him.

[Snarkylark]

1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

I think his marital status is the least of the issues the Baptist church should have with him.

I know we’ve speculated about it but what proof do we have that he did anything or what it was? Was he charged, did he plead? Was it really him? I don’t remember all the details of the original revelation about him but he does have kids that live with him. Of course I don’t know the laws on that and each state is different. Not that I’m saying I don’t believe it, I just don’t remember there being specific or verifiable information. Sorry if I’m rambling. It’s late. Lol