Lori Alexander 48: The Complaining of the Shrew

[Seahorse Wrangler]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

Well, it does seem you are ready for some greater challenges so...see if you can find the puppies and kitten. I've had no luck so far...

P.S. Sorry, everybody! I couldn't get them to go under a spoiler. But, if ya gotta use up too much space, this is the way to do it; right? 

 

 

 

Honestly all that water is a slipping hazard!

[Loveday]

14 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

If everyone can remove their eyes from trying to find the puppies and kittens.... the BBC just post an article that Multi-use kitchen towels cause illness

I just had to come over and post on Loris thread

 

But seriously--the first sentence made me recoil in horror:

Quote

Scientists from the University of Mauritius examined 100 kitchen towels that had been used for a month.

A month? Do they mean a month without washing them? Who--besides Lori with her nasty Norwex rags  --uses the same kitchen towels and dishcloths for a solid MONTH without washing them? I change mine every day, sometimes more than once. And I'm not that fanatical about cleaning or anything! 

[polecat]

6 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@polecat, you may not use "chemical" suscreens on yourself or your kids, but you do use mineral sunblock/sunscreens.

Yes. Sunscreens are those with oxybenzone or similar ingredients, and they absorb UV rays. That's why they need to be reapplied frequently.

Sunblocks are physical barriers (typically zinc oxide or titanium dioxide), which reflect the UV rays.

I only use sunblocks on my kids and myself. We do not use sunscreens. They're two different things. I didn't explain clearly.

[polecat]

4 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Every time this comes up, several people here feel the need to announce that they, too, dress super modestly, almost fundie or whatever. Not to single you or anyone out, but why do people here feel the need to proclaim their own modesty in clothing? I start to feel like people agree with her on some weird level. It's always, "yeah, Lori/Duggars/whateverotherfundie's modesty crap is horrible, but I never wear (fill in the blank with whatever the fundie in question finds immodest) either.". 

My philosophy:

"If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it, flaunt it. Because what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?" (credit to Mindy Kaling)

Actually, I don't go out of my way to dress "immodestly," but I wear whatever I want without worrying about what others think. Some of my stuff may be "Lori modest," but given the sheer size of my breasts, I can guarantee nothing would be approved of by her. We all know how she feels about busty women, lol. Yoga pants, leggings, v-necks ... I wear comfy clothes. Period.

 

 

[Sarah92]

A guy holding a puppy almost always gains a ton of attractiveness points. An intelligent, well spoken guy holding a puppy is attractive. Also add a great sense of humor and loves Jesus and we have a winner. 

[Hane]

Re the stupidity of having gradeschool girls sit through a “modesty” seminar:  I often see Muslim women wearing hijab and other traditional dress (generally long-sleeved, ankle-length dresses). Today, I saw a group of them walking downtown with a couple of young girls, maybe eight or ten years old, also wearing hijab and long dresses. This was the first time I’d seen the modesty standards of adult Muslim women applied to children.

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

7 hours ago, Briefly said:

Ramble all you need!  I do wonder what Lori's opinion would be.  Probably negative, because she is so anti-woman on her best days.  I'm sure it would be some garbage about women being so easily deceived and thinking we don't need men, you know - her standard feminists are evil and ignorant crap.

And I do know exactly how you feel. I don't talk about this too much anywhere else, except that Mr. Briefly obviously knows and has no problems with it, but I am what used to be described as Bi.  Although I probably fit more on what is now known as Pan.  And I have pretty good reason to suspect that my mother actually was a lesbian, but stayed closeted all her life.  But then knowing the time/generation she was born and raised in, she probably felt like she had no choice but to marry a man and have children.  I have always wondered if that "runs in families" for lack of better words to use.  There are a few gays in my family that are out and at least a couple that I suspect but are still closeted.  I can not imagine how hard it must have been for you.  I hope that it will never be bad again, for anyone.

Thank you so much   I am blessed with a wonderful and supportive husband who is my best friend and partner in life and who never makes me feel damaged or strange.  He had an understanding of my sexuality before I did (though he thought I was more solidly bisexual, but I am probably a 5 on the Kinsey scale, there are a few exceptions but raised in a different family and circumstances I probably never would have even dated a man, much less married one).  I did think that marrying him would make my "unnatural urges" go away, and when it didn't I had a breakdown.  That was fun. But he's been amazing every step of the way.

What you say about your mother is so interesting - I have suspicions and some evidence about both of my parents and one brother is pansexual and recently told me he is genderqueer.  Apparently our father was telling my brothers from the time they were small that if they ever "decided" to be gay he would do something I don't even want to repeat here.  Just horrible and traumatizing, especially to a child.  I don't believe all or even many homophobes are in the closet but in my father's case there is some reason to believe. 

I've come out to that brother, my sister, and my mother, who reacted better and more lovingly than I had any reason to believe she could or would.  Not perfectly, and I think she's mostly okay with it because I married a man in the Catholic church so nothing else matters, but I expected a completely different reaction.  She also said she always suspected, which I never suspected lol

6 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Well, it does seem you are ready for some greater challenges so...see if you can find the puppies and kitten. I've had no luck so far...

P.S. Sorry, everybody! I couldn't get them to go under a spoiler. But, if ya gotta use up too much space, this is the way to do it; right? 

 

  Hide contents

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

All I see is puppies LOL  seriously, men like that are what I can appreciate on an aesthetic level, but I'm like I want more puppies and kittens!  The men should be covered in them!

 

3 hours ago, polecat said:

My philosophy:

"If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it, flaunt it. Because what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?" (credit to Mindy Kaling)

Actually, I don't go out of my way to dress "immodestly," but I wear whatever I want without worrying about what others think. Some of my stuff may be "Lori modest," but given the sheer size of my breasts, I can guarantee nothing would be approved of by her. We all know how she feels about busty women, lol. Yoga pants, leggings, v-necks ... I wear comfy clothes. Period.

 

 

Fellow big breasted lady here....accused of being immodest in a turtleneck 2 sizes too big.  You can't win.  

I would also dress very differently with a different body....most of my clothes are "modest" but only because I don't fit anything else right now.

1 hour ago, Hane said:

Re the stupidity of having gradeschool girls sit through a “modesty” seminar:  I often see Muslim women wearing hijab and other traditional dress (generally long-sleeved, ankle-length dresses). Today, I saw a group of them walking downtown with a couple of young girls, maybe eight or ten years old, also wearing hijab and long dresses. This was the first time I’d seen the modesty standards of adult Muslim women applied to children.

Wow, I live in a heavily Muslim area and have never seen children in hajib.  Here I am actually seeing the opposite, more groups of teen and young adult girls some with hajib some without (all with western clothes, only the older married women wear the long tunics in my neighborhood) and even families where it is mixed.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

Today, I saw a group of them walking downtown with a couple of young girls, maybe eight or ten years old, also wearing hijab and long dresses. This was the first time I’d seen the modesty standards of adult Muslim women applied to children.

My kids' elementary school has a fairly diverse student body, and we do have some girl students who wear a hijab (with pants or whatever), or a long dress and hijab. I think most or all the girls whom I've seen wear a hijab are from families who are refugees from African countries. The families I've seen who are from Middle Eastern countries, the girls dress like everyone else, but the mom might wear a hijab. One mom whose daughter is in my youngest's class only wears a hijab when she dresses more formally. 

There was a cute little girl at my daughter's first day of kindergarten wearing a dress and a hijab. I almost think that the only word she knew in English was "kindergarten". She was in the other class, but I got to see her with the other kids when they all lined up before class. Within a short time, she had friends who called her name and greeted her with a hug, and she was chattering away in English with them. Kids can be so amazing!

[Sarah92]

Modesty is an issue that I struggle with. I hate when young teens are dressed too adult. Not because I think they bear any responsibility for sexualization. but because I think society is making kids grow up too fast. Girls shorts are notoriously shorter than boys shorts even in the little kids section. Why?  Idk it's complicated and hard to articulate what's in my mind. I see kids on Instagram dancing/acting sexually and can't help but wonder what's going on. Then older men comment on those posts. It's all kinds of gross. 

So it's not exactly purity code modesty but maybe more age and place appropriate dress.  Once you're an adult, you're an adult and can dress how you like with appropriate time and place in mind. I'm not gonna wearing my shorter shorts and cleavage bearing top to a meeting. 

[fluffy]

Lori deletes many readers who ask understandable questions or pose other viewpoints, but jimmy christmas, she really loves her whackadoos! This guy will be guest-posting next, just like my favorite KB Davies who went on a tear about racy women wearing their "lace wigs" that the crowd went wild for. I still don't have a clue what the hell that was about. Sometimes I like to imagine Lori having to interact with these nut cases in real life. Like KB and Joshua Joseph Hughes and that nutcase Earl Nagle all just showed up in her driveway, expecting the little lady to cook them up some hash or sourdough einkorn bread SLATHERED in butter... As the poet laureate of The Transformed Wife, Lindy, so memorably puts it: "Very no Biblical stuff." 

[fluffy]

In fact, KB Davies was recently the guest author of a second (or third?) post Lori shared. 

I 

 

I decided to look him up to see just who Lori is listening to, and I was not surprised to find his webpage advocating such unsurprising views as: 

 

Here's the link to his page: 

https://transformationalpower.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/can-spousal-rape-occur-in-a-christian-marriage/

 

 

 

[crawfishgirl]

14 hours ago, Briefly said:

Yes, that was me that brought up Daniel Craig!  I am not ashamed!  But I am a redhead with Irish/Viking ancestry and I must tell you that I really, really like the picture you posted!

Ramble all you need!  I do wonder what Lori's opinion would be.  Probably negative, because she is so anti-woman on her best days.  I'm sure it would be some garbage about women being so easily deceived and thinking we don't need men, you know - her standard feminists are evil and ignorant crap.

And I do know exactly how you feel. I don't talk about this too much anywhere else, except that Mr. Briefly obviously knows and has no problems with it, but I am what used to be described as Bi.  Although I probably fit more on what is now known as Pan.  And I have pretty good reason to suspect that my mother actually was a lesbian, but stayed closeted all her life.  But then knowing the time/generation she was born and raised in, she probably felt like she had no choice but to marry a man and have children.  I have always wondered if that "runs in families" for lack of better words to use.  There are a few gays in my family that are out and at least a couple that I suspect but are still closeted.  I can not imagine how hard it must have been for you.  I hope that it will never be bad again, for anyone.

I also suspect that it 'runs in families'.  There is one branch of my family where a few people are out, but it is uncommon in other branches.  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Well here you have it. More proof that Lori sees everything as a battle. So like I've said this is war. 

 

[dairyfreelife]

Okay, what's with this idea that leggings are some new thing people are wearing? I recall wearing leggings as a kid. Not yoga pants tight of course, but still leggings. Leggings have been worn for decades now. Tight leggings have been worn with a dress or skirt or long shirt since the 80s. I know there are creepy people out there, but to straight up say that you can't stop looking at young girls and teenagers crotches in leggings while out is beyond fucked up. How are you looking at people's crotches while eating out? Seriously, shouldn't everyone's heads be above the table and the lower halves be under it therefore not in eyesight? 

Also, Joshua and KB are creepy MFers who should stay far away from all women of all ages. Can KB point us to a verse in the Bible that claims that sex in marriage is a right? Because I must have read a different Bible. 

[cindyluvs24]

Oh boy, I come back after a couple of weeks and Lori is still.... Lori.     Is it me or does she seem to be a tad afflicted with the sour grapes?  She's so proud of her "modesty" but I suspect she never felt very pretty and was never looked at in "that" way.  And of course if Ken is looking them and not her... well, then clearly the other women are to blame.    Lori, I know you read here.  Try some moisturizer and a smile.

[Mellowing With Age]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Well here you have it. More proof that Lori sees everything as a battle. So like I've said this is war. 

 

What about "Mercy Ships?" Oh wait, that doesn't fit Lori's views. 

[Maggie Mae]

10 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Modesty is an issue that I struggle with. I hate when young teens are dressed too adult. Not because I think they bear any responsibility for sexualization. but because I think society is making kids grow up too fast. Girls shorts are notoriously shorter than boys shorts even in the little kids section.

It's weird, but also, what's wrong with short shorts for both sexes? Nudity is not inherently sexual. To me, short running shorts are the most comfortable thing imaginable. However, I'm not going to wear them to work. Kids have no such obligation, and it drives me nuts when parents demand longer shorts and dresses as per dress code. Why does it matter? And if your school is so tied up in dress code, just give them uniforms! 

Some running men wear the short shorts and it gives them an advantage. SO used to have a friend (who I disliked) who locked those split shorts endlessly. Why? Why is masculinity so toxic?

10 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

 

So it's not exactly purity code modesty but maybe more age and place appropriate dress.  Once you're an adult, you're an adult and can dress how you like with appropriate time and place in mind. I'm not gonna wearing my shorter shorts and cleavage bearing top to a meeting. 

Yes, but honestly kids should be allowed to wear what they want for free time (or nothing at all). They have tons of time once they grow up to be concerned with how the world sees them. Let them wear sparkle crowns and roller skates with their bathing suits or cowboy boots and shorts and a hoodie with a unicorn! 

[Hisey]

Have you ever seen a four-year old who is just plain delighted with her outfit of bikini top, sparkly skirt, tiara, and blue nail polish?  Her over-the-top confidence and belief in her outstanding gorgeousness is really beautiful. The way she dances around to make her skirt swirl and watch her braids bounce. How happy she is with it all.

A talk about modesty would just dampen her happiness and completely confuse her. Who would want to do that?

 

 

[Sarah92]

Th disconnect is strong in this one.... Reading into scripture what isn't there... Hmm you mean like talking about women being a stumbling block when the entire biblical passage that houses the verse used for that has to do with food and eating? What about the never speaking or praying aloud in church? Never denying one's husband? Yes Lori never does such a thing.

Lori, not everyone has to teach the same thing. An English teacher isn't going to teach math in class. People teach different things for a reason. Pastors speak on different things for a reason. If your pastor is only talking about gender roles he's not being a pastor. And idk about Beth Moore's theology because I honestly don't like structured Bible studies in general so I've never participated in one of hers. But on Twitter she always seems nice, kind and thoughtful. People can teach biblical conduct without explicitly saying it. People can show humility without saying "I'm being humble". You just have to be smart enough to recognize the lesson. 

Honestly Lori, you preach,yes preach, on and on about modesty, "wifely duties", sex, and the expensive organic foods but fail to teach how to actively live out the faith as a woman. At least not in an accurate way and not in a way that doesn't tear down others. When was the last time you posted without saying something negative towards others? Without saying "most women do this?" You deleting comments shows an active lack of grace, humility, and lack of faith. If you truly believed that God was sovereign then others comments wouldn't matter.  

Okay end rant 

[Sarah92]

16 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

It's weird, but also, what's wrong with short shorts for both sexes? Nudity is not inherently sexual. To me, short running shorts are the most comfortable thing imaginable. However, I'm not going to wear them to work. Kids have no such obligation, and it drives me nuts when parents demand longer shorts and dresses as per dress code. Why does it matter? And if your school is so tied up in dress code, just give them uniforms! 

Some running men wear the short shorts and it gives them an advantage. SO used to have a friend (who I disliked) who locked those split shorts endlessly. Why? Why is masculinity so toxic?

Yes, but honestly kids should be allowed to wear what they want for free time (or nothing at all). They have tons of time once they grow up to be concerned with how the world sees them. Let them wear sparkle crowns and roller skates with their bathing suits or cowboy boots and shorts and a hoodie with a unicorn! 

I think you're right and that's why it's so complicated to me. Because my brain acknowledges that side but also acknowledges the society we live in. I don't want it to be that way, that's why I work to change it when I can. My thoughts were "why are girl shorts made shorter than boys when adults tend to see short shorts as being adult? It's like they're sitting girls up to be shamed and sexualized." But I personally don't care if shorts are shorter on either boy or girl because they're children and I don't sexualize them. I just wish others weren't creepy.  I also don't really plan on having a modesty talk with my children in the way most would. 

But I'm all for crazy sparkly unicorn outfits or running around naked in the sprinklers if they want in free time. I'd never disrupt a little girls joy to tell her to be more modest. I dress very differently when I'm at work vs in my free time. I can go from blouse and dress slacks and neutral makeup to all black and sparkling pink eyeshadow. 

[Lgirlrocks]

2 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I think you're right and that's why it's so complicated to me. Because my brain acknowledges that side but also acknowledges the society we live in. I don't want it to be that way, that's why I work to change it when I can. My thoughts were "why are girl shorts made shorter than boys when adults tend to see short shorts as being adult? It's like they're sitting girls up to be shamed and sexualized." But I personally don't care if shorts are shorter on either boy or girl because they're children and I don't sexualize them. I just wish others weren't creepy.  I also don't really plan on having a modesty talk with my children in the way most would. 

But I'm all for crazy sparkly unicorn outfits or running around naked in the sprinklers if they want in free time. I'd never disrupt a little girls joy to tell her to be more modest. I dress very differently when I'm at work vs in my free time. I can go from blouse and dress slacks and neutral makeup to all black and sparkling pink eyeshadow. 

I always had a problem with finding clothes that fit my body and my parents modesty standards. I’ve always been tall 5’9” since I was 13. When going through my growth spurt I wore sizes in the littles Girls section but had to by in the jr department because everything was super short. My parents didn’t want me to show my stomach at all but it was hard because of how tall I was. I had no problem with showing a little of my stomach if the shirt fit otherwise. 

[polecat]

A few disjointed thoughts: 

We don't have a pool, so public pool it is. The pool has lifeguards, of course, who're typically teens, and are both male and female. Last summer, one of the boys startled the heck out of me when he ran along the edge of the pool, top speed, and hopped in right next to me. Why? Because a kid was nearly drowning. Literally within three or four feet of me. It was shocking and horrifying how close I was to a kid who might've died had that young man not seen him. I never even noticed (mostly because I was watching my own kids, but drowning really IS silent). 

 

Now -- imagine a world in which teen boys were really as hormonal, distractable and out-of-control as the average dress code makes them seem. That lifeguard was surrounded by teens his age, all wearing fairly skimpy bikinis. And yet ... he was still perfectly able to do his job. 

Our problem isn't that teen girls are immodest or dressing "too sexy." Our problem is that adults -- both men and women -- spend way too much time sexualizing them. 

Another story: Growing up, teen boys were more likely to be found in "immodest" clothing. 

Like crop tops

Spoiler

 

And short shorts

Skin-tight pants

 

And chest-baring tops. 

 

 

So come on, Lori, now it's your turn to tell me all about the "exceptions." 

 

eta: I hope I didn't defraud anyone! 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Random thought 1: Regarding today's post, I have a closet full of clothes (some almost 10 years old), and I wear them all at some point in the year. I most certainly have worn each of them more than 7 times. 

Random thought 2:. Went out for pizza today and saw a few tank tops and leggings. Hubby was more concerned with watching the kitchen area for when they were going to bring his fave pizza out. I wouldn't have noticed either except Lori popped into my head.

[Koala]

12 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Random thought 1: Regarding today's post, I have a closet full of clothes (some almost 10 years old), and I wear them all at some point in the year. I most certainly have worn each of them more than 7 times. 

Lori's obsession with what other women have in their closets is....strange.  Remember the time she was talking about looking in her neighbors closet?  Yeah, that was weird.

She's always trying to make up rules about how long you can go between wearing outfits/how many outfits you can have, and on and on.  This is just shit she makes up.  It's rules she makes for other people, because she just can't bear to be about her OWN business.

I don't know anyone who has clothes they only wear once or twice.  The avg. piece of clothing is only worn 7 times?  In what world?  I wear my clothes until they wear out.  Period.  

I am something of a minimalist.  I keep every piece of clothing I own in one dresser drawer (with the exception of a sweater box that lives under my bed).  At the moment, I have 3 pair of jeans, 2 pair of leggings, 5 tops, 2 t-shirts, 5 nightgowns, 2 sweaters, a sweatshirt, a swimsuit, and a swim-cover.  That's it.  Believe it or not, I've recently shopped.  I had several pair of leggings, but they were wearing out.  Now all I can find is capris (which don't work well for me.  I am 5 ft., and capris look like pants that are too short).

Anyway, I tend to think this is a product of Lori's privilege.  The rest of us wear our clothes until they aren't even worth donating.

Besides that, she seems to have a large variety of clothing based on her Youtube videos and Instagrams.

[AuntKrazy]

I have to confess that I have enjoyed watching Donald Glover/Childish Gambino in "This is America" several times. 

And I seriously doubt Lori would understands what it is about.