Dillards 52: Making Life Look Complicated

[Ivycoveredtower]

50 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

Do we know if the j slaves had to get up at night with littlest or be mainly responsible for them when they're sick, hurt, or other high needs situations. I mean even if they were "little moms" then they might still get breaks. Being the "head mom" is 24/7 especially if you don't have any buddy team system. You think about your babies all the time even when your not with them. I think it's more mentally and emotionally  taxing than people expect. Being a little sister mom is just mostly physically demanding since they're mainly following orders.

we know that they did the potty training and that JIm Bob and Michelle left the country and the littles in the care of the elder children as seen when Josie had her seizure. the babies seemed to be in J and M's rooms about six months maybe a year and then moved into play pens in the girls dorms to make room for next baby. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

The Beige Bottomed Buddy Team!

Which makes her initial responses to mothering Izzy and Sammy so surprising- it's like she had never been with any babies at all. Maybe Michelle was hands-on for the infants?

My guess is maybe some PPD/PPA. I'm not diagnosing via the interwebz but that would make a huge difference in her abilities to take care of an infant. And she does seem to get better as time goes on. Like PPD/PPA often does even if it's left untreated.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

14 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

As far as I remember, the babies were transferred to their buddy teams at around six months old. I believe that meant they were sleeping in the girls’ dorm - which, of course, means the buddy leaders were most likely the ones getting up at night with them. 

I was 28 when my daughter was born and I spent the first few months pretty exhausted, even though she was a really good sleeper. I can’t even imagine how tired those poor girls must have been taking care of those babies. Jill was just six when she got her first buddy - if she was actually fully responsible for Joy at that age then that’s just ridiculous. Children need their rest and they need to be allowed time to just be children. 

(Again, I believe six months was when they were moved. I’m not positive though, so someone please correct me if I’m wrong.)

If this website is correct then James wasn’t originally on Jill’s team. Her team was Joy, Justin, and Jenni:

http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2016/07/celebrating-with-jason.html?m=1

So if that’s correct, Justin was switched to Jessa’s team and James was added to Jill’s sometime after the buddy group photos were taken in 2010. 

That’s just a fan blog. James was always on Jill’s team. In their first book they said that James volunteered to be Jennifer’s buddy when she was about to be born or a newborn. Michelle told him it would have to be okay with Jill and Joy.

[Pretzel]

@VelociRapture Weird. I seem to remember from their first book Michelle 'saying' that James had the cutest little face and when Jenni was born, she decided he was mature enough to become her buddy. AFAIK Jenni was in Jill's buddy team from the beginning. So it would only make sense that James was already her buddy. I may be totally wrong, though.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, KelseyAnn said:

Maybe she's 'mothered' out. 

My SIL, 1 of 5 born within 4 years time (and 2 more added on a couple of years later), and only daughter, was mothered out. She therefore made the decision to marry on older man who had already raised a family, and actually remained childless herself.

Again, lack of choice. Lack of self awareness.

[Pretzel]

@QuiverFullofBooks You beat me to it, obviously.

[Ivycoveredtower]

17 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

As far as I remember, the babies were transferred to their buddy teams at around six months old. I believe that meant they were sleeping in the girls’ dorm - which, of course, means the buddy leaders were most likely the ones getting up at night with them. 

I was 28 when my daughter was born and I spent the first few months pretty exhausted, even though she was a really good sleeper. I can’t even imagine how tired those poor girls must have been taking care of those babies. Jill was just six when she got her first buddy - if she was actually fully responsible for Joy at that age then that’s just ridiculous. Children need their rest and they need to be allowed time to just be children. 

(Again, I believe six months was when they were moved. I’m not positive though, so someone please correct me if I’m wrong.)

If this website is correct then James wasn’t originally on Jill’s team. Her team was Joy, Justin, and Jenni:

http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2016/07/celebrating-with-jason.html?m=1

So if that’s correct, Justin was switched to Jessa’s team and James was added to Jill’s sometime after the buddy group photos were taken in 2010. 

maybe they just meshed better with the other sibs.so they switched around. Jessa  jill and Jana seem okay with their buddy's though you know Jessa was not thrilled. I dont' really think JInger wanted much to do with hers except for saying this one was her's when Johanna was being born and I think that one had more with it being the first girl after so many boys then her wanting a buddy. 

don't know about the James/Jenni thing but here is Michelle talking about Jackson wanting Josie on his buddy team. 

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/michelle-duggar-her-familys-buddy-system/

[Satan'sFortress]

I am loathe to admit that I do recall how long the babeez stayed in JB & M's room at night--it was 1-1/2 years for the regular kids and longer for HRH Josie--maybe 2 years.  I know this because I happened to have recently watched a video where Michelle said so.  I will try to find it & post a link.

I found it:  Around the House with Michelle Duggar.  Not sure at what point she says it & I am not watching it again!! 

Edited again to add--

Oh, who am I kidding, of course I looked for it! The comment--starts about 12 minute mark--she also says kids are coming into their room during the night.

 

[luv2laugh]

4 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

Yes, I think maybe strong attachment to Jackson and strong responsibility for Josie. 

Although, after Michelle accepted she would no longer get pregnant it seems like she started zoning in on the youngest girls like she had the oldest. That probably gave her more time with Josie than Jana with Josie.

Now that Joy is gone is her teamed transferred to one of the twin boys? Or all the young girls Michelle's buddies?

Are the middle few left to fend for themselves. It's confusing.

 

 

 

 

I am starting to think Jill might’ve not done so much of the mothering as much as just providing affection to her buddy team. Jana seemed to be the “go to” and on call Mom.

Jill seems like a first time Mom with her babies and that surprises me...

[Naga Viper]

5 hours ago, cptbailey said:

 

Helping hungry people, my ass. Fred's clearly a prepper.

[EmCatlyn]

7 hours ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Maybe, but I’m concerned that Izzy is already being indoctrinated into the belief that he should regard disadvantaged people or victims of injustice as “moochers and looters.” The lessons we learn as young children stay with us and can be very hard to shake off completely. It’s just another way to reinforce the belief that god loves white reactionary Christians best and it just plain sucks to be anyone else.

Oh, the indoctrination bothers me too, but not specifically in connection to these books * which, as several have pointed out, are not likely to make any sense to the kid yet.

I think there are two issues here. One is the toxic views and indoctrination.* The other (to which I was responding) is whether the kid could really enjoy books with content that is not exactly at his age level or particularly rivetting for kids at whose age level it is.  

If the Dillards think the kid’s enjoyment of the books is because the books are well-written or informative, they are deluding themselves.  At that age the addition table can be rivetting if turned into a rhyme. (But it sure doesn’t mean the kid understands addition or is going to be good at math.)

*For the record, re-stating the (I thought) obvious, these books are terrible.

[Cleopatra7]

13 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

Oh, the indoctrination bothers me too, but not specifically in connection to these books which, as several have pointed out, are not likely to make any sense to the kid yet.

I think there are two issues here. One is the toxic views and indoctrination. The other (to which I was responding) is whether the kid could really enjoy books with content that is not exactly at his age level or particularly rivetting for kids at whose age level it is.  

If the Dillards think the kid’s enjoyment of the books is because the books are well-written or informative, they are deluding themselves.  At that age the addition table can be rivetting if turned into a rhyme. (But it sure doesn’t mean the kid understands addition or is going to be good at math.)

I don’t think Jill, at least, has any concept of what age appropriate means. She grew up in a family integrated church world where everybody in the family had to do the exact same thing, whether the person in question was two or twenty. You’d think Cathy and Derick would have a bit more knowledge in this realm, which leads me to believe that their love of the Tuttle Twins’ horrid message overrides any concept of whether the intended audience will get anything out of the story. 

[AtlanticTug]

1 hour ago, Satan'sFortress said:

I am loathe to admit that I do recall how long the babeez stayed in JB & M's room at night--it was 1-1/2 years for the regular kids and longer for HRH Josie--maybe 2 years.  I know this because I happened to have recently watched a video where Michelle said so.  I will try to find it & post a link.

I'm surprised it's that long, I lasted 6 months before moving my son out and it was glorious. Counting down the days until my daughter is in her own room too. I am a very light sleeper and my children are like freaking velociraptors at night with their noises. The other thing is that Michelle was basically always trying to get pregnant or pregnant so I'm even more surprised that she'd keep a toddler at her bedside for so long.

At least then by the time the kids moved to the dorm rooms they would have been sleeping through the night. Not that it excuses the concept of sister-moms in the slightest.

[Kittikatz]

Dear FSM, Michelle's hair is just tragic in that video. She seems more engaged in this shoot than the more recent videos I've seen of her. I wonder what changed?

[Snarkasarus Rex]

37 minutes ago, Naga Viper said:

Helping hungry people, my ass. Fred's clearly a prepper.

Oh come on now, what hungry family wouldn't want an industrial-sized jar of tomatoes, a #10 can of beans or 20 lbs of sugar to take home with them?  

[MamaJunebug]

6 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

I'm surprised it's that long, I lasted 6 months before moving my son out and it was glorious. Counting down the days until my daughter is in her own room too. I am a very light sleeper and my children are like freaking velociraptors at night with their noises. The other thing is that Michelle was basically always trying to get pregnant or pregnant so I'm even more surprised that she'd keep a toddler at her bedside for so long.

At least then by the time the kids moved to the dorm rooms they would have been sleeping through the night. Not that it excuses the concept of sister-moms in the slightest.

Meechelle could have told any lie she wanted, the black circles under the J’slaves eyes for the first several years of fame showed that those young girls weren’t getting good sleep. Except for her fried hair,OTOH, old Michelle always looked flower-fresh! 

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 hour ago, Satan'sFortress said:

I am loathe to admit that I do recall how long the babeez stayed in JB & M's room at night--it was 1-1/2 years for the regular kids and longer for HRH Josie--maybe 2 years.  I know this because I happened to have recently watched a video where Michelle said so.  I will try to find it & post a link.

I found it:  Around the House with Michelle Duggar.  Not sure at what point she says it & I am not watching it again!! 

Edited again to add--

Oh, who am I kidding, of course I looked for it! The comment--starts about 12 minute mark--she also says kids are coming into their room during the night.

 

Oh Michelle needs to stop lying no way she had both Jessa and Jinger in her room at once they are only 13 months apart and I'm positive we never saw Jordyn and Josie both in the parents room and I'm sure there are other kids with less then a year and half gap. 

[TatiFish9]

I remember Josie being with Jana a lot. Maybe she was already two by then.

They say all the kids chose to be in the same rooms together. I find it difficult to believe that. Unless it was easier to care for the younger ones, if they were in the same room. 

Otherwise seems like another form of control. Less privacy, less opportunity to get into trouble.

[2manyKidzzz]

@Kittikatz I am laughing because I was thinking just the same when I saw Meechelle’s hair and I laughed when you called it tragic. It is tragic. Great word for it. 

Guess I need more excitement in my life, ha ha. 

[Naga Viper]

34 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Oh come on now, what hungry family wouldn't want an industrial-sized jar of tomatoes, a #10 can of beans or 20 lbs of sugar to take home with them?  

Yeah, WTF is up with the quarter ton of sugar Fred has stockpiled? Even if his intentions are on the up-and-up, he's gonna turn everybody on Skid Row into a Type 2 diabetic.

[meowfundiecatz]

If Derick is serious about answering questions, he totally should do a Reddit AMA. Just saying.

[klabourdeth]

Right, and I seem to recall him being allergic to "meat" too...? Which, like... yes, there is such thing as a "meat" allergy, but it's pretty damn rare. And yes, sometimes allergies are mild, but why would you eat the things you know you're allergic to and make yourself feel sick anyway? And why on earth would you screw around with something like a peanut allergy? Part of me wonders if the "allergist" he saw was one of those naturopaths who does phony blood tests and then says, "You're allergic to peanuts, dairy, meat, and air. Take these special $400 supplements and turn around in a circle on one leg every time there's a full moon, and you will be cured."

Odds are Derick could be in the same boat as me with food allergies and they just developed later in life (or not found out to much later on). I spent 10+ years vomiting on regular basis although rarely excised induced. For me it was things I ate daily or at least very regularly like chicken( just chicken not eggs or other poltury), wheat, peanuts, and tree nuts. Cutting wheat out has been very hard for me. Chicken I still have cravings for despite being allergic and sometimes it's a bit insane. I learn it's better to on occasion to cave in. I would rather have a day of stomach discomfort then go without. Although when I do so it's with a lots planing. Maybe it's the same with Derrick, one day of discomfort is worth tasting what's one desire.

* I'm so catching up on the thread and the latest of the Dillard's poop fling

[PainfullyAware]

6 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

However, I think Jim Bob's point was if Michelle wanted to stop he would have been okay with her decision.

I'm not sure that's possible when the wife must always be 'joyfully available', there's no birth control and marital rape is not even believed to exist. I think it's a PR line...Michelle will never not want to have more kids because she's a full fledged member of the cult.

Interestingly, to me anyway, is that Jeremy's mentor at San Antonio Grace Church said he and his wife stopped at 5 because she said she was too wiped out and he agreed *because he loved her like Jesus loved the Church*. What does Jim Bob say to that? Michelle was pretty wiped out crying over the laundry in the middle of the night...

Anyway on the buddy thing, I agree they have almost like mini nuclear families within the larger family. I wonder if it will survive adulthood?

[viii]

Did the older boys have Buddy teams, or was it just the girls? 

[marmalade]

I want to say that Smuggar was a buddy to Joe for a time when they were much younger.