Maxwell 19: Life is Still Boring

[mango_fandango]

Ooh. That could be a “f*n” blog post idea: a trip down memory lane. Include photos of the older three graduating... old Christmas/birthday photos... old Colorado trips... photos when the oldest three were babies... etc. 

[Black Aliss]

Quote

keep the photo framed properly,

there is this post-processing technique called "cropping". . . .

[VVV]

1 hour ago, Tatar-tot said:

Fellowship drives me nuts along with the term “kiddos”.  They both make my skin crawl.

Oooh, "kiddos." Fingernails on the chalkboard, that one.

[Black Aliss]

On the subject of peppers, when I'm inundated with them at the end of summer, or in the winter when they're on sale somewhere, I'll often roast them on the gas grill, scrape the charred skin off, cut them into strips, and vacuum seal them for the freezer. Or I'll cut them into strips, saute' them with onions, and freeze them in just the right quantity for a couple of Italian sausage sandwiches.

I would worry about cognitive decline if I knew someone who defrosted and cooked 4 pounds of meat for the sole reason of using up half an onion (and no, I do not GAF how big that onion was, unless it was as big as my head), and then froze the meat again. That makes no sense at all.

Also, is it really multitasking when you are just cooking several dishes at the same time? Because it's all just cooking. And it seems like a real waste of electricity/gas/kitchen cleanup to cook just one dish.

[Captain Obvious]

Right now I am holding this phone, while also typing on it, breathing and presumably generating cells. Yay multitasking!

[danvillebelle]

I don't think Teri has ever really learned how to cook.  She raised her kids on frozen pizza and burritos every weekend, for chrissakes.  Chelsy needs to stage a kitchen intervention and teach them how to ACTUALLY COOK FOOD WITH FLAVOR.  She'll need to bring her own supplies though, because whatever spices Teri has in the kitchen are undoubtedly years old and stale.

I am also personally befuddled by the "leftover onion".  We go through onions like water around here; at least 2 bags a week.  They go in EVERYTHING in mass quantities, along with garlic.  I don't care if the onion I'm chopping is big, the whole damn thing is going in the soup/chili/spaghetti sauce/casserole/stir-fry/whatever.

I've got half a mind to send a copy of Mark Bittman's "How To Cook Everything" addressed to Mary or Anna.  They might actually enjoy learning to cook real dishes, not Glop Du Jour biscuits on old pork and rice. 

[front hugs > duggs]

Every time someone says "F*n", I read it in my head as fucking. And then have to backtrack and realize it means fun.

9 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Ooh. That could be a “f*n” blog post idea

My head: That could be a fucking blog post idea, for example.

[mydoggoskeeper]

I'm calling it.  The Maxhellians have to be trolling us.  There is no way in rufus using half an onion in ground beef while making perhaps the most tasteless chicken noodle soup ever concocted can be held up as a paradigm of multi-tasking.  High five, Steve -- you made me waste 3 minutes of my life reading the mundane for Jeebus.  

[Coconutwater]

11 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

I ended up down a Maxwell blog rabbit hole recently and came across a series of posts about the various kids' homeschool graduations; just about vomited when I saw a photo of Steve and Teri captioned as "Principal and Lead Teacher." Because of course the person with the main responsibility for educating the kids still needs a boss! It makes me queasy just thinking about it. What a repugnant worldview. Fuck that noise.

I just looked at the graduation posts and noticed that on each one except John’s Teri cries at their gifts, etc...but on John’s post it was more like an underhanded insult comparing it to make it not seem like a birthday party for him and he gives Teri an invitation to dinner, but no tears or emotion in his post. Steve commented on the post before that it’s all non-accredited and they don’t take the GED, I wonder if John did to get his real estate license. 

His post was sad compared to the others...

[Ivycoveredtower]

3 minutes ago, Coconutwater said:

I just looked at the graduation posts and noticed that on each one except John’s Teri cries at their gifts, etc...but on John’s post it was more like an underhanded insult comparing it to make it not seem like a birthday party for him and he gives Teri an invitation to dinner, but no tears or emotion in his post. Steve commented on the post before that it’s all non-accredited and they don’t take the GED, I wonder if John did to get his real estate license. 

His post was sad compared to the others...

okay I read John and Joseph's graduations and so freaking weird. Joseph couldn't even graduate on time because he had to work the family business and go on tour with them and then fucking Steve took for ever to go over his last paper work. 

 

Joseph's was just as funky lets see months after the fact they finally have the graduation. and Steve made him outline the bible and a bunch of other crap before he was allowed to graduate.  don't you know they order blank deploma's and Nathan fills them in. yep that happens and Teri is such a great teacher (not) that the kids just had to gift her and Steve with a couples night away as appreciation for all her hard work 

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, danvillebelle said:

 

I am also personally befuddled by the "leftover onion".  We go through onions like water around here; at least 2 bags a week.  They go in EVERYTHING in mass quantities, along with garlic.  I don't care if the onion I'm chopping is big, the whole damn thing is going in the soup/chili/spaghetti sauce/casserole/stir-fry/whatever.

 

Yeah; if the onion is "too big," I just shrug my shoulders and declare "Well, this is gonna be extra oniony this time," and keep choppin' and tossin' them into the pot. 

Onions were one of the few concessions I made to my kids when they were little. I quit using them in my cooking for a while because they didn't like them.  But one day, during our weekly religious trek to eat under the shrine of the Golden Arches, I relized their happy meal burgers had tiny chopped onions on them - 'cause USMCMOM did NOT allow special orders at the Arches. So, I took those little onions off and said "Look! You DO like onions!  Try these."  They both ate the little specks of onions and were all like "You're right, Mommy!"  

So I used fast food (probably) faux onions to convince my kids they LOVED them. 

Also, I have no idea how my story relates to multi-tasking. 

By the way, what is MULTI multi-tasking? 

[Fascinated]

11 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

 

By the way, what is MULTI multi-tasking? 

It is achieved by speaking to someone while doing two other things that are the same as each other AT THE SAME TIME!

[Melissa1977]

I bought fresh grounded beef yesterday. Saulted it with salt, black pepper, red pepper, fresh herbs and garlic and made meatballs. Then I made a casserole with the meat and 2 onions (2!!!!!), carrots and peas. Majoring on the multitasking, at the same time I used an extra onion (WoW!!!!), zuchinni  and potatoe to make a creamy soup. I ate it while drinking some red wine. And I did it after work... ooops.

 

[freejugar]

Terri is a terrible chef, homemaker and planner. She really needs to stop giving advice

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, freejugar said:

Terri is a terrible chef, homemaker and planner. She really needs to stop giving advice

The Maxwells should stop giving advice on everything, because they're basically terrible at everything they claim to be experts on. Cooking/meal prep? Come on. 'Making Great Conversationalists'? LOL! These people are truly awful communicators. Courtship? Sure, they've managed to marry off four sons, but at least two of them had broken courtships (actually, one was a broken engagement) and all three of their daughters are still single and at home, including the eldest who is 36. 

I guess the only thing they've really been successful overall at is having their sons buy houses debt free. Big deal. Not all debt is bad debt. I'd love to ask Sarah whether she'd prefer to wait until she was 43 to get married to hold out for a man with no debt, or if she would've preferred to get married at 23 to a man with a mortgage.

[catlady]

12 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

there is this post-processing technique called "cropping". . . .

and if the framing was Chris's advice, he doesn't follow it himself; least year (i think), he did the wedding for the Mennonite couple, and his shots outside the church were loaded with utility lines, empty parking spaces, and parking-lot puddles.  most of them were not framed properly.....  

3 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Every time someone says "F*n", I read it in my head as fucking. And then have to backtrack and realize it means fun.

and yet, in Steve's world, Fun is probably the worse of the two words.  

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

Saulted it with salt, black pepper, red pepper, fresh herbs and garlic and made meatballs. Then I made a casserole with the meat and 2 onions (2!!!!!), carrots and peas. Majoring on the multitasking, at the same time I used an extra onion (WoW!!!!), zuchinni  and potatoe to make a creamy soup. I ate it while drinking some red wine. And I did it after work... ooops.

#1, you were definitely multi-multitasking; yay for you! and if you were talking to your family all the while, Eleventy!1!!11!  

#2, your liberal use of multiple onions is just way to decadent for decent folk; off the the prayer closet! 

[freejugar]

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Delicious!

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

I bought fresh grounded beef yesterday. Saulted it with salt, black pepper, red pepper, fresh herbs and garlic and made meatballs. Then I made a casserole with the meat and 2 onions (2!!!!!), carrots and peas. Majoring on the multitasking, at the same time I used an extra onion (WoW!!!!), zuchinni  and potatoe to make a creamy soup. I ate it while drinking some red wine. And I did it after work... ooops.

 

You, ma'am, can just see yourself straight to the prayer closet this instant! you multi-tasking, job stealing, over onionizing, alcoholic hussy. I weep for you! 

And save me a seat. M'kay?!?

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

3 hours ago, Coconutwater said:

Steve commented on the post before that it’s all non-accredited and they don’t take the GED,

So, none of the kids actually have a HS degree -- the minimum usually required for any job. No wonder they are self-employed. Stevehovah has made sure none of them can work in the "world".

Evil, evil asshat

[nomoxian]

4 hours ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

I'm calling it.  The Maxhellians have to be trolling us.  There is no way in rufus using half an onion in ground beef while making perhaps the most tasteless chicken noodle soup ever concocted can be held up as a paradigm of multi-tasking.  High five, Steve -- you made me waste 3 minutes of my life reading the mundane for Jeebus.  

I have family members who would use less than a whole onion. They'd consider it actual cooking because it didn't come directly from a can or box. These same people would say that cooking 'real' soup (like noodles or rice, water, tomato paste, etc.) in a pot with meat you fried on pan is multitasking. After all, there's a pot and a pan! Put some Pillsbury crossants in the oven and boy howdy you're pretty much a chef.

[OhNoNike]

I somehow missed “leftover hot dogs” as a meal before.   And 4 days after hot dog meal, at that!

How do you have leftover hot dogs??  It’s one of those things you do 1-2 per person for... and even if you did have leftovers, how are there so many it counts as a full meal?  

[Melissa1977]

I wonder if all these leftovers recipes are a message to Chelsy. Maybe Steve is controlling her rubbish bin and has discovered she throws nutricious half onions or some delicious four days old cooked rice.

Anyway, Maxwells have been invited to eat really nice homemade food several times, plus they actually go to restaurants. I don't believe they think they're really good cooks, they must know the truth. So if they are not sending a message to Chelsy, I think they're twisting the reality and feeling superior, considering their tasteless, cheap recipes an evidence of godliness.

[Kelsey]

What are they doing to that salad?

[mango_fandango]

Food is another way to maintain control for these folks. Erika Shupe was similar: Maxwellian green smoothies for breakfast and salad for lunch. (It's changed now those kids are at public school, though). Erika once shared a recipe for a pasta that sounded like it made much too small an amount for 11 people.

[bluelady]

Why is all of their food so brown?  The only veggies to be seen are hidden under a metric crap-ton of mayonnaise. 

And I'm by no means a food snob. Gimme some jarred pasta sauce all day. But how depressing would it be to sit down to brown/beige/white food every damned day?