Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed

[General Jinjur]

Bless his heart. He just ain't bright.

 

 

[Four is Enough]

6 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

Bless his heart. He just ain't bright.

 

 

Ain't bright doesn't begin to cover it. He's completely burnt out!

[Georgiana]

"All the rock n roll in them and take a man and he play Jesus"

What?  Does Bro Gary think this is a Jesus biopic?  90% sure that's not what these admittedly idiotic movies are about.

Also, does Bro Gary object to church pageants or living stations?  They also take a man and he play Jesus.  

Big props to Bro Gary for being like the last man in America to still be complaining about rock n roll.  Most people have moved on to hip hop or rap, Bro.  

My favorite exchange from the comments:

Bro Gary: All I need is the KJB!

Friend: Well, all I need is King Jesus!

 

Gird your loins weens, friends, we got ourselves a HOLY WAR here.

 

[smittykins]

Living stations(of the cross, I presume)=ebil pagan Catholic. 

 

[keepercjr]

15 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

 

Gird your loins weens, friends, we got ourselves a HOLY WAR here.

 

We sure do!

[Gimme a Free RV]

If Bro is going to argue about something he obviously knows zero about, he could at least do a little fact checking, first.  It's like those "friends" on FB who post precautionary tales that seem too unbelievable.   I usually respond with a link to snopes.com

 

[Yogi]

Question, when he says KJB does he mean King James Bible or is that a typo for KJV meaning King James Version?

i feel like most people (looking at you JRod) say KJV. 

With our Gary you just never know whether he is making a typo or being deliberate. 

[mango_fandango]

Every time I see "KJB" I automatically read it as "KGB". Somewhat different... I tend to refer to it as KJV to avoid that confusion.

 

[Georgiana]

47 minutes ago, Yogi said:

Question, when he says KJB does he mean King James Bible or is that a typo for KJV meaning King James Version?

i feel like most people (looking at you JRod) say KJV. 

With our Gary you just never know whether he is making a typo or being deliberate. 

MOST people I have seen here and elsewhere say KJV.  I think Bro Gary, never one for clarity or fact checking or accuracy, misheard KJV as KJB, assumed it stood for King James Bible, and went with it.  

Also, every time Gary says KJB, I think of this:

 

There's only ONE author of the KJB, amazonian and that's JESUS CHRIST!!

[PumaLover]

Oh Bro Gary, you fill my days with laughter. I had heard of the movies before but didn't know anything about them so I read the Wikipedia summaries. Sounds like a movie he would like if he actually went to see it, but what do I know?

[Dandruff]

4 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Bless his heart. He just ain't bright.

So what does he expect Hollywood to do- get the real Jesus to play himself in a movie?

[Ozlsn]

8 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

So what does he expect Hollywood to do- get the real Jesus to play himself in a movie?

Well obviously. How else is Hollywood going to makea real 'god is not dead' movie without him?

I feel like I'm missing something here, surely Bro Gary should be objecting to "God is dead" movies rather than "God is not dead" movies?

Sis Ozlsn, who needs coffee 

[Georgiana]

Hold on here folks, what if you could get a man and take all the rock n roll out of him.  Then might he be OK to play Jesus, but only if he wears a sign that clearly labels him as NOT Jesus so that no one gets ignorant? 

[General Jinjur]

And all the dialog in the movie has to be straight outta the KGB.

[Granwych]

5 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Bless his heart. He just ain't bright.

 

 

Gary, Gary, Gary.  There's too bloody much that you are ignorant about, I just can't start.  And please, Gary, how do you reconcile your main gig (preaching) with the KJV saying "the foolishness of preaching?"  Maybe since the foolishness of paparazzi and other MLMs are a teeny bit more lucrative? 

What say you, Bro? 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

What say you, Bro? 

Wimmins no tell Gray KJB say wimmen silant.  Preaching fool if no Bible need truth.  Pray for salvaton good weens Lord provied.  HAY-MAYUN!

[Gimme a Free RV]

@Dandruff, when do you find the time to do the Rosetta course on Weenese?  I'm so impressed at your fluency!

 

[K'Z'K]

10 hours ago, Dandruff said:

So what does he expect Hollywood to do- get the real Jesus to play himself in a movie?

They could. *A* real Jesus anyway. Perhaps this one:  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5631118/

 

(OK, so it's actually Jesús, but Gary probably definitely doesn't know about foreign things like the letter ú, so we're good).

[Granwych]

5 hours ago, KZK said:

They could. *A* real Jesus anyway. Perhaps this one:  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5631118/

 

(OK, so it's actually Jesús, but Gary probably definitely doesn't know about foreign things like the letter ú, so we're good).

So long as the portrayer is hot, I'll give it a glance.  And since the idea of Jesus being even remotely hot is sinful, I'm back to the prayer closet.  Angry Orchard, anyone? 

[Coy Koi]

Paparazzi has a ring called Pyramid Scheme. I just thought you all should know.

Gary is such an idiot, but Becky should really be realizing that adding more and more pyramid schemes to their repertoire is not ever going to be the answer. They clearly worked out what they considered some sort of business plan (with the ridiculously unrealistic number of Pyramid Schemes they would sell and all) and it honestly reminds me of the time my then-14-year-old sister decided to run away, and had a notebook full of all these absurd plans for her fabulous new life as a 14-year-old runaway. She would make and sell pipes to earn money, for example. (Anyway, she did attempt to run away but we found her and brought her home later that day and she stopped being a moron about a year later, so she's a few decades ahead of the Weens.)

[Georgiana]

1 hour ago, Coy Koi said:

Paparazzi has a ring called Pyramid Scheme. I just thought you all should know.

Gary is such an idiot, but Becky should really be realizing that adding more and more pyramid schemes to their repertoire is not ever going to be the answer. They clearly worked out what they considered some sort of business plan (with the ridiculously unrealistic number of Pyramid Schemes they would sell and all) and it honestly reminds me of the time my then-14-year-old sister decided to run away, and had a notebook full of all these absurd plans for her fabulous new life as a 14-year-old runaway. She would make and sell pipes to earn money, for example. (Anyway, she did attempt to run away but we found her and brought her home later that day and she stopped being a moron about a year later, so she's a few decades ahead of the Weens.)

I am rather ashamed to say I actually like that ring!  I WONT buy off paparazzi, but I really wish someone else made it.  

Also, the paparazzi logo looks like stylized brass knuckles.  An interesting choice, to be sure.

[General Jinjur]

Ok folks, look like Gary took down the post about movies. He must not have liked being called out on his stupidity. Hey bro, if you can't stand the weens, get out of the gravy.

[Ms. Squishels]

Okay Foks.  Bro Gary Hawkins has done got butt-hurt and took down his very informative yet totally illiterate post about movies.  I had trouble even trying to interpret some of it and his comments in the back and forth.  Bro Gary needs a secretary to make him look a little smarter. HAY-MAYUN.  Hope that didn't scare none of y'all!

[acheronbeach]

You can get better quality (and more expensive looking, IMO) costume jewelry for way cheaper on AliExpress or Ebay.  I guess there's a market for it because Maurice's sells really similar stuff at my hometown mall.

 

 

[Black Aliss]

On 3/13/2018 at 1:16 PM, smittykins said:

Don't get me wrong,  I'm firmly on Team Gary Needs To Get A Real Job, but what would he be qualified for? With his apparent level of homeskooling, I think he may be underqualified for McDonald's. 

(And I'm not knocking fast-food work, as I did it myself for almost a decade.)

He's not healthy enough to be on his feet for an 8 hour shift.

22 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

And all the dialog in the movie has to be straight outta the KGB.

I'm dying here. Guessing autocorrect changed KJV or KJB (Bro. G-Haw's usage) to KGB, but it works so perfectly.