Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed

[Carol]

My favorite selling line so far(I'm only halfway through but I had to stop to catch my breath) is, "You wanna buy this stuff!  It's not bad.  It's not bad".

Oh.  My.  Fucking.  God.  He just gets hilariouser and hilariouser.  

I thought of posting, "Don't give up your day job" but, I realized he doesn't have one.

[MayMay1123]

2 hours ago, griffin said:

I don't get why you all are saying "toothpasta". I have listened to him a few times and read his text and I don't see where he doesn't just say toothpaste. What am I missing??

Someone posted the misspelling in the comments on the toofer witnin videe 

[Candydandy]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I was looking up dog memes to send to my brother (who’s at uni) and came across this. Not exactly Bro Gary’s profile pic, but his videos.

 

Wish I could photoshop in a plaid shirt!

 

[mango_fandango]

Just now, Candydandy said:

Wish I could photoshop in a plaid shirt!

 

And glasses 

and yellow teeth

[griffin]

Thanks, MayMay, I saw that and I thought that she was correcting him for something. I don't know when I have ever been so fascinated by anyone online. You couldn't make this stuff up

[MayMay1123]

If someone wrote this as a spoof, it would be just as hilarious...but it's not, it's real...how can anyone not see how ridiculous ghaw is? Get a J*O*B gary!

[Snarkylark]

1 hour ago, MayMay1123 said:

If someone wrote this as a spoof, it would be just as hilarious...but it's not, it's real...how can anyone not see how ridiculous ghaw is? Get a J*O*B gary!

Oh, noes! Jobs are for losers who aren’t called to ministry!! I have a BIL and his family that are like this. “Called to ministry” but get welfare and assistance because he won’t get a real job. Wife has a useful degree but stays home with their ever-expanding brood. 

[keepercjr]

I think something is up with Bro Gary’s daughter.  I believe she is 18 or older and she has been removed from their website biographies.  Also in the toothpasta video he mentioned him and his sons using the toothpasta but nothing about his daughter.  I hope she escaped!

edit: here is his quote from the video.. “I used it, my wife used it and my 2 boys used it”

[MayMay1123]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

I think something is up with Bro Gary’s daughter.  I believe she is 18 or older and she has been removed from their website biographies.  Also in the toothpasta video he mentioned him and his sons using the toothpasta but nothing about his daughter.  I hope she escaped!

edit: here is his quote from the video.. “I used it, my wife used it and my 2 boys used it”

hmmm, i can't imagine why children keep disappearing from the basement

sissy may, who knows where all her children are, even and especially the ones who won't move out ::sigh::

[General Jinjur]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

I think something is up with Bro Gary’s daughter.  I believe she is 18 or older and she has been removed from their website biographies.  Also in the toothpasta video he mentioned him and his sons using the toothpasta but nothing about his daughter.  I hope she escaped!

edit: here is his quote from the video.. “I used it, my wife used it and my 2 boys used it”

I think you're right. He only mentioned the boys in the pupperoni video too. I wish her the best.

In other news: there actually is a Whiting Florist.

I don't know if they make toothpasta though.

ETA: Just did some creeping. Daughter has a new Facebook account, and is friends with Becky's oldest daughter.

[Coy Koi]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

I think something is up with Bro Gary’s daughter.  I believe she is 18 or older and she has been removed from their website biographies.  Also in the toothpasta video he mentioned him and his sons using the toothpasta but nothing about his daughter.  I hope she escaped!

edit: here is his quote from the video.. “I used it, my wife used it and my 2 boys used it”

Ooh, good catch. I wonder where she went. I can't imagine that she would have any friends to get an apartment with or anything normal like that, and we know she's not in college. And if she was doing something fundy-approved like getting married, I think that would have been mentioned. The only thing I can think of that seems at all plausible is that she's staying with a relative.

25 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

hmmm, i can't imagine why children keep disappearing from the basement

sissy may, who knows where all her children are, even and especially the ones who won't move out ::sigh::

I think we found the one thing the Weens are good at: chasing off children! That could be their new business, parents could hire them to stay at their house until their young adult kids decide to move the hell out. I don't think it would take long.

[keepercjr]

I don’t see a Facebook page for her.  I see one for Becky’s 2 older daughters but not one for Mackayla (don’t remember how she spelled it) .

 

edit.. found it.  She didn’t spell her name like I thought.  Said she joined fb in this past month.  

[FullOfGravy]

OK Folks,

Just want y'all to know that after a few months of silent lurking mostly in the JRod threads, Bro Gary (or your discussion of him, anyway) finally pushed me to make an account here.  Also, I had weens for dinner last week, for the first time in years.  So, um, thanks for that, I think.

Sis Gravy

[LovelyLuna]

5 minutes ago, FullOfGravy said:

OK Folks,

Just want y'all to know that after a few months of silent lurking mostly in the JRod threads, Bro Gary (or your discussion of him, anyway) finally pushed me to make an account here.  Also, I had weens for dinner last week, for the first time in years.  So, um, thanks for that, I think.

Sis Gravy

Welcome! A lot has transpired since J Rod went friends only.  Between having time to discover Bro G and awesome thread drifts including fundie porn Jillie’s choice has enriched all of our lives.  

[FullOfGravy]

Thanks, @LovelyLuna!  The fundie porn was hilarious.

[Carol]

Oh dear god in heaven.

GarynBecky went live again and it's scarier than the first video.  Much scarier.  Sold two more pieces, Gary said Becky would take care of everything related to purchasing(does HE do anything except sit on his ass and giver her orders???!!).  By my calculations they still have 13 pieces left.

There are 2 girls/women in the background in the kitchen(is one his daughter?), a boy getting into the refrigerator behind her and then crawling along next to her to get out of the view, stopping and starting of video, moving around, poor sound quality.  Somehow this did not enhance a shopping experience.

The first video was a train wreck.  This was a train wreck with mass casualties.

[Nikedagain?]

Good grief. He is such a dick. 

Also, I was a bit nauseated from all the movement. 

[Coconutwater]

6 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I don’t see a Facebook page for her.  I see one for Becky’s 2 older daughters but not one for Mackayla (don’t remember how she spelled it) .

 

edit.. found it.  She didn’t spell her name like I thought.  Said she joined fb in this past month.  

Do you have a link? I can’t find any of the kids on there...or spelling and is the last name Hawkins? 

[keepercjr]

3 hours ago, Carol said:

Oh dear god in heaven.

GarynBecky went live again and it's scarier than the first video.  Much scarier.  Sold two more pieces, Gary said Becky would take care of everything related to purchasing(does HE do anything except sit on his ass and giver her orders???!!).  By my calculations they still have 13 pieces left.

There are 2 girls/women in the background in the kitchen(is one his daughter?), a boy getting into the refrigerator behind her and then crawling along next to her to get out of the view, stopping and starting of video, moving around, poor sound quality.  Somehow this did not enhance a shopping experience.

The first video was a train wreck.  This was a train wreck with mass casualties.

Don’t forget him burping midway through!

i am not sure who the women in the background are.  One could definitely be his daughter but it is hard to tell.  They are staying with someone.  He posted a few weeks ago asking for a place in NC from the 16th to the 18th but it appears they have stayed past the dates they specified!  I know that his daughter said in her profile that she lives in nc so maybe she came over for dinner (if she escaped).  Last weekend Becky visited her kids in  (Edit.. it looks like his daughter created her fb page on the 16th so I dunno what to think about her living situation.  Also curious that Gary’s family all live in NC but nobody can host them?)

I will post the kids names under a spoiler

Spoiler

Carly isaacs (dad is Carl Isaacs)

Adrienne Isaacs

Michaela Lynn Hawkins (friends with Adrienne)

for anyone searching their friends lists, Krystal Hawkins is married to Gary’s brother.   “Joeyand Kim Wells” is Gary’s sister.  Shiela Hawkins is their mom.

i know all this because when I looked into them a few months ago nobody had their profiles locked down.  Now they all do!

 

[Black Aliss]

On 3/26/2018 at 12:54 PM, CTRLZero said:

Anyway, in addition to Nu Skin, we also noticed billboards for Young Living and Doterra, so am guessing Utah is a hotbed for MLMs.   

"Hotbed" is putting it mildly. Utah is home to 119 MLMs, mostly dietary supplements, but also cheap trinkets, including papatrotsky jurry

http://www.npros.com/MLM_by_state_list.asp?MLM=Utah

[Coy Koi]

I have a friend from Utah who used to work for Nuskin (she did customer service for their actual customers, who are the "associates" or whatever they call themselves...I can't remember). They let her buy their products for almost free. Like it would be under a dollar to purchase some bullshit that would cost their associates tens of dollars. My friend gave me some of these products and they are REALLY not very impressive. This was years ago, but I feel like her steeply discounted price for the products was about what they're actually worth.

But yeah, Utah is Pyramid Scheme Central. I think because they have laws favorable to them, and also because Mormons love themselves some pyramid schemes.

[MayMay1123]

17 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

I think we found the one thing the Weens are good at: chasing off children! That could be their new business, parents could hire them to stay at their house until their young adult kids decide to move the hell out. I don't think it would take long.

can i hire them while i'm on vacation (without all these freeloaders)? because i would...seriously. someone get these people out of my house. i'll pay. a lot. send help...

sis may-who had to take out all the damn trash herself this morning and dropped it down the steps and almost fell down ::sob::

[Yogi]

I think omen of Bro Gary’s fans went and commented on JRod’s pregnant profile pic. Who else would write something like,   ‘God blessed is that’s bunle of jore ‘

 

[EyesOpen]

37 minutes ago, Yogi said:

I think omen of Bro Gary’s fans went and commented on JRod’s pregnant profile pic. Who else would write something like,   ‘God blessed is that’s bunle of jore ‘

 

A drunk person. Seriously. I was wondering when we first started following this crazy family if he was medicated or drunk. 

[Carol]

55 minutes ago, Yogi said:

I think omen of Bro Gary’s fans went and commented on JRod’s pregnant profile pic. Who else would write something like,   ‘God blessed is that’s bunle of jore ‘

 

You're kidding!?!  You don't know what a bunle of jore is??!!