Lori Alexander 40: Learning Nothing, Teaching Nothing

[Mellowing With Age]

I was a SAHM for many years. I now work because I want to, not because I have to. It got to the point where my emotional well being was at an all time low. I needed to get out and return to work. My children are happy for me. I am happy, and that makes everyone else happy. 

 

 

[quiversR4hunting]

@HoneyBunny I found the post. I see Pearl wrote that in 2005. I wonder, has he ever acknowledged his kids divorce? Also what does the fan girl Lori have to say of divorce in her idol's family?

Also this just came up on my Facebook feed. 

[Briefly]

2 hours ago, Jenn43 said:

Yes! This!!! I would love to be a sahm, but we need money to survive.  My hubby's hours are cutting back and we need a roof over our heads and food on the table.  It's not always about women wanting to work to afford their luxurious lifestyles.  Geesh. 

Exactly! If someone wants to work, that's fine because it's their choice. If someone has to work, that's still fine because it's a necessary thing.

[EowynW]

[Loveday]

Rachelle is on a ROLL! 

[dairyfreelife]

I don't know who that Toni Bark person is, but I don't know she ever made it through any medical school or even got into one for an MD title. I nearly failed Chemistry in college and even I know that cholera is a waterborne illness. Clean water means no cholera. Basic biology and chemistry. It still exists and outbreaks still occur. Tuberculous still exists also. If was not an issue or concern that anyone could carry TB, I would not be required to be tested every 2 years to work with children. 

Also, for everyone who says they don't do any vaccines...if they got bit by a possibly rabid animal, are they not going to get the rabies vaccine? Because once symptoms begin, you are dead. Literally, you have maybe a week until your life is over and it will be a horrible to the end. Once symptoms start, the fatality rate is around 99%. Good luck with those odds. I'd say no one would knowingly gamble with those odds, but nothing surprises me anymore. 

[Lgirlrocks]

7 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I'm kinda confused about the ones that are like "I did this, this, and this during my time at public schools" it's very similar to the way Lori treated her husband before she was submissive (and still does). It's not really anyone else's fault if you behaved a certain way. Sure parents bear a lot of responsibility and are supposed to teach their kids moral and how to be a good person but ultimately our actions are our own. If a person stole things, was a bully, and punched another kid, chances are it's not the school's fault. 

When I was in high school I hung out with all sorts of kids, ones who smoke and drank and cussed. I did none of those things. No one judged me for it. They never forced me. True friends won’t. My parents didn’t pick my friends or even meet them all and I turned out fine. At some point you have to let your kids make decisions for them selves.

[PhoenixRising]

9 hours ago, EowynW said:

My sister told me the other day she can still hear my Mom's voice in her head, lol. It does fade but it's a slow process. 

For me, it's my father's abusive voice.  Have you read about C-PTSD and Codependency? 

[Koala]

1 hour ago, dairyfreelife said:

Also, for everyone who says they don't do any vaccines...if they got bit by a possibly rabid animal, are they not going to get the rabies vaccine? Because once symptoms begin, you are dead. Literally, you have maybe a week until your life is over and it will be a horrible to the end. Once symptoms start, the fatality rate is around 99%. Good luck with those odds. I'd say no one would knowingly gamble with those odds, but nothing surprises me anymore. 

Pffttt...Lori has posted about juicing away cancer, and was genuinely baffled that researchers weren't "knocking on her mother's door" asking her how to cure Colitis.  I am 100% certain she could find an equally idiotic "cure" for rabies in no time flat.  Give her a wi-fi connection and she's good to go.  

Seriously though, if it was Lori, she'd be to the hospital so fast your head would spin.  Her readers?  Not so much.  She'd probably explain that rabies isn't such a big deal, link them to an article written by some half baked quack, and encourage them to buy the "cure" from Amazon.  Easy. 

[slp]

3 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

@HoneyBunny I found the post. I see Pearl wrote that in 2005. I wonder, has he ever acknowledged his kids divorce? Also what does the fan girl Lori have to say of divorce in her idol's family?

 

They never addressed it head on.  However, they wrote a book on divorce after Gabe's divorce and taught about why some divorces are ok and others aren't.

Lori may not know about Gabe's divorce.  Most people don't.  I didn't until it was brought up here on FJ.

[Imrlgoddess]

I wonder if Lori even knows what section 8 housing is? I notice anytime she & her entourage start bashing wives/mothers who work, they bring up high priced houses and keeping up with the Jones'. I'm sure that might play a role for some ppl, but that's certainly not the norm. What would she do if Ken decided to take a road trip up to Inglewood subdivision. She'd lose her pretty little entitled mind. Shoot, she's not far from Oceanside, there are plenty of trailer parks loaded with young Marines struggling to keep the lights on... yes Lori, complete with SAHW's & deployment babies under foot. 

I think it's her uppity attitude that gets to me the most. A person can have a privileged upbringing & life & still have compassion for those who didn't have it so easy. How her poorer followers can keep hanging into her message is beyond me. Even if she & Ken lived check to check at one point, I'm certain she didn't know or didn't want know. She's the type who would keep spending & make him deal with the overages. 

[EowynW]

59 minutes ago, PhoenixRising said:

For me, it's my father's abusive voice.  Have you read about C-PTSD and Codependency? 

No! Do you have a good resource?

[PhoenixRising]

46 minutes ago, EowynW said:

No! Do you have a good resource?

* EMDR therapy is often helpful for reprocessing traumatic memories
* Codependency No More- a book by Melody Bettie
* http://outofthefog.website/toolbox-1/2015/11/17/adult-children
* http://outofthefog.website/toolbox-1/2015/11/17/complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-c-ptsd
* https://psychcentral.com/lib/trauma-and-codependency/
* http://pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm
* https://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/about1

As a starting point....

It's a long, and difficult process

[PhoenixRising]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I wonder if Lori even knows what section 8 housing is? I notice anytime she & her entourage start bashing wives/mothers who work, they bring up high priced houses and keeping up with the Jones'. I'm sure that might play a role for some ppl, but that's certainly not the norm. What would she do if Ken decided to take a road trip up to Inglewood subdivision. She'd lose her pretty little entitled mind. Shoot, she's not far from Oceanside, there are plenty of trailer parks loaded with young Marines struggling to keep the lights on... yes Lori, complete with SAHW's & deployment babies under foot. 

I think it's her uppity attitude that gets to me the most. A person can have a privileged upbringing & life & still have compassion for those who didn't have it so easy. How her poorer followers can keep hanging into her message is beyond me. Even if she & Ken lived check to check at one point, I'm certain she didn't know or didn't want know. She's the type who would keep spending & make him deal with the overages. 

When I was 13, my biological family was lucky enough to be admitted to a family shelter. I say lucky, because the waiting list was always very long. The pastors at the church that I attended in 7th grade helped us to get into the shelter. My family got to be in a room that had three beds that my parents, siblings and I shared. Everyone in the shelter used the communal bathrooms, and ate in the cafeteria. There were usually gnats flying around the morning pastries, but it was all of the food that was available. You could eat or not.  

All of the adults had to look for employment on a daily basis. If you didn't obey the rules, your family could not stay. The other shelters in the area didn't take families. When working is the only option, pride generally goes out the window. 

[Hisey]

3 hours ago, PhoenixRising said:

For me, it's my father's abusive voice.  Have you read about C-PTSD and Codependency? 

You both might want to check out Raised by Narcissists on reddit. It's a wonderful community of people who have experienced all sorts of trauma and abuse. Helped me way more than any book or therapy. Eowyn, I don't know your whole story, but it does seem like you are struggling with (understandable) anger about your family. I apologize if I'm off base. 

This reddit is really good (there are rules in place) about not victim-blaming. It helps people focus on setting boundaries with crazy family members.

[lilwriter85]

13 hours ago, Frog99 said:

This is what we call looking at the experiences of others through your lens without stepping outside and making an effort to understand the perspectives of another. That's why her posts and the subsequent comments tend to be broad and inaccurate assumptions of what they believe to be true.

I swear Lori and her fangirls are jealous, judgmental snits who need her echo chamber to validate their own life choices. They don't seem to understand that the majority of us don't have a problem with their life choices- so why all the attention on what others choose to do? I don't understand how the choices made by other moms impact Rosa and the likes of Lori's readers.

I am a Christian (also a feminist) and I recognize that my walk looks different than the walk of others AND that not everyone believes as I do. That's ok. I can be friends with people who believe differently or don't believe at all.

I always get a jealous vibe from the fangirls. Maybe, some of them are happy with their choices and that's fine. I can't stand the assumptions they make. 

These things from Rosa's post annoyed me.

Quote

Nothijng wrong with being well off, but if you're well off and still choose to stick your kid in school 8 hours so you don't have to teach them or care for them then that's even more of a problem. Everyone thinks it's so impossible to still live on once income, but how can it be when there's still many women doing it who aren't even rich? It just comes down to choices and priorities

Some well off mothers might not feel they are capable of successfully homeschooling their kids and they have their kids in school because they care about them. I suspect Rosa probably dislikes well off SAHMs whose children attend private schools.

The part where Rosa says "there's still many women doing it who aren't even rich?" is just stupid for a few reasons. Many working women with or without kids know they aren't going to become mega rich just because they work alongside their spouses. They work for access to certain benefits and resources and also to stay off government assistance. Rosa also doesn't consider the fact that some two income households are quite frugal She might see working mothers who don't have designer clothes, expensive cars, or expensive things, but those women might have large savings accounts for their rainy days, education, and retirement.

The fangirls like Rosa and Lindy also don't consider the fact that women work so they won't have to spend their golden years in poverty. My aunt died in January. She was a working mother. Her career consisted mostly of working as receptionist for a medical clinic and some years working as nurse's aide in nursing home. My uncle was a maintenance manager for a government research lab. My uncle and aunt were frugal and they also had a side business doing carpentry. My uncle and aunt started having health issues in their early 70s. But, when it came to medical and medication bills, they had savings, SS,and pensions to keep them out of financial ruin. My uncle died six years before my aunt. My aunt was always glad that she had financial security in her old age. Rosa and the other idiot fangirls don't realize things like that.

Quote

 Looking back, I'm really glad she stayed home because I saw her cooking, cleaning, ironing, sweeping, mopping, grocery shopping, and just all the stuff mothers used to do back in the day themselves before technology took over. And today I find myself doing the same things I saw her do when I was a kid"

Rosa,  plenty of moms are still doing those things. Does Rosa believe that most people have access to high tech chore gadgets or robot maids lol?

[Petronella]

On 01/03/2018 at 1:14 AM, Fascinated said:

Does anyone else make ‘egg-in-a-cup’, complete with ‘soldiers’ when their kids are poorly?  I’m guessing those of us who are British, or living in the colonies might?  My 36 year old son wasn’t feeling well a week or so ago and he asked his wife to make him some. I believe her response was, fuck that, or similar. 

Wait, why would she say that? That's awful! 

[99bottlesofPlexus]

15 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Although I'm wondering do these women really get made fun of by others as they claim or do they just have people wondering what in the world are they doing? I can also imagine some of them are alienating themselves from others by pretending to be more holy.

I think they’re either:

A. Misinterpreting normal interactions with working mothers 

(ex. Lori Leghumper: “All women should stay home with their children!”

Working mom: “That would be nice, but we need my salary to pay bills.”

LL: *views this as a personal attack*);

B. Getting back as good as they get. I can see these women going into message boards, Facebook groups, etc. with huge chips on their shoulders and looking for a fight, and being dealt with accordingly; or

C. Outright making it up.

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

You both might want to check out Raised by Narcissists on reddit. It's a wonderful community of people who have experienced all sorts of trauma and abuse. Helped me way more than any book or therapy. Eowyn, I don't know your whole story, but it does seem like you are struggling with (understandable) anger about your family. I apologize if I'm off base. 

This reddit is really good (there are rules in place) about not victim-blaming. It helps people focus on setting boundaries with crazy family members.

Thank you for this resource, I will check it out.

@EowynW, a very helpful book for me is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748  it has been invaluable in understanding what happened to me and in beginning to heal.  I wish I had found it sooner.  

Hey Ken, if children are the only reason for marriage, should infertile couples who aren't in a position to adopt divorce?  Which is the greater evil here?  Should you and your repulsively cruel shrew of a wife divorce since all your kids are grown?

 

[Liza]

 

 Well, when nothing else works, you can always invoke the Devil.   One of the fan girls actually said that she had wanted to work outside the home, but it must have been the "Jezebel" in her.  

[kpmom]

I don't get Lori at all (shocking, I know).

 She has said women are easily deceived.  Can't trust ourselves at all.  Then she posts something by Nancy Campbell that women are the protector of their children and must be home to protect their children the lies of the deceiver, Satan.

So are we women so easily deceived we must look to men for all decisions, or are we strong enough to fight off the deceiver himself, Satan?  Which is it?

I'm very confused.  Must be the woman in me.

[Sarah92]

4 hours ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

Thank you for this resource, I will check it out.

@EowynW, a very helpful book for me is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748  it has been invaluable in understanding what happened to me and in beginning to heal.  I wish I had found it sooner.  

 

 

I took an acute trauma intensive last fall for my degree and this book was brought up quite often! Many people really enjoyed it citing it to be very helpful. I need to buy a copy. 

Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman was a book I really enjoyed and thought helpful. I can't remember if she's one of the founders of the concept of complex-PTSD or not buts she's been a big influence in the study of trauma and PTSD. 

[HoneyBunny]

14 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Which post quotes Michael Pearl?

Yesterday’s.  

https://thetransformedwife.com/his-children-will-not-ride-the-train-to-hell/

[SongRed7]

22 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

The "If you are a Christian, you must agree with me" keeps getting stronger with Lori.  

But even if you agree with Lori, you are wrong and she'll argue with you as we've seen.  Lori is just always "righter"

[SongRed7]

12 hours ago, Koala said:

Pffttt...Lori has posted about juicing away cancer, and was genuinely baffled that researchers weren't "knocking on her mother's door" asking her how to cure Colitis.  I am 100% certain she could find an equally idiotic "cure" for rabies in no time flat.  Give her a wi-fi connection and she's good to go

against my better judgement I read a post from her old blog about how just eating fruits and vegetables will prevent breast cancer, even those with BRCA 1 or 2 genes and how she is appalled women would cut their breasts off to prevent breast cancer.  I work in the healthcare field and I'm astonished not only at her so-called medical advice, but how readily and scarily her fangirls accept it as the gospel truth. 

This woman is dangerous.