Bro Gary Hawkins 4: HAY-MAYUN!

[Gimme a Free RV]

8 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Although I wonder... have they never passed a Hoss's, or a Golden Corral., or laws a mercy, a Cracker Barrel?

Just to be clear, are we talking about the NICE Cracker Barrel?

[JillyO]

I mean, the Bates kids didn't know what broccoli was until they were teenagers, so nothing surprises me anymore. As long as you know the basics (weens, cream of crap soup from a can, tater tots), you're good!

[Lillymuffin]

1 hour ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

Also want to add:  if he's grifting for a new RV and trips to places he's never been, why not just go ahead and ask for filet minon?  Why eat crap like weens when people could be putting expensive food in your mouth, Bro GHaw?

Ah,  but, that there Frenchified stuff ain’t MAN FOOD. Bro G-Haw only eats the manliest of man foods, like them there pink weens in ME. Glory to God, halleluyer, HAAAYMAYUN. 

[missy1228]

If he got his lazy f-ing ass off the recliner and sat up a little bit, maybe that would help his singing. He's basically lying down and bellowing. Of course, realistically, I don't think there's anything that can be done to improve on his singing. But at least try, for pete's sake!

Also, what's the status of the RV? Is it still broken down? Are they going to have to grift funds to fix it AND THEN grift funds to go to Maine and wherever?

[mango_fandango]

I'm surprised that grifters manage to earn anything. I'd've thought people would be really resentful of handing over their hard-earned cash to support a group of strangers, who get this money for doing nothing, when the donors had to actually work for the money. I don't believe in God, but I would think that He would reward people who worked hard. Sure, the Hawkins might be "spreading the Word" *ahem* but plenty of people manage to spread the Word/do other good deeds as well as working to earn a living. 

[Coy Koi]

3 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

And I agree with @Texas Heifer I also thought he sounded very aggressive at the beginning of that video. I wouldn't be surprised at all if Bro G wasn't abusive to his family. 

Asshole. 

I'd be shocked if he wasn't physically abusive to his family, because before he made his old posts private, he had some posts that were downright gleeful at the idea of parents beating their children. He seems to think it's not only necessary, but also really fun.

He just acts like a big ol' doofus as long as everyone is doing exactly what he wants, but I bet he can get vicious real quick as soon as his children (and probably his wife too) dare assert themselves in any way.

1 hour ago, missy1228 said:

Also, what's the status of the RV? Is it still broken down? Are they going to have to grift funds to fix it AND THEN grift funds to go to Maine and wherever?

I really don't think the "new" bus has been fixed. They seem to have been staying in a church for a long time now, and I don't know what they're doing for transportation but I think either driving the old RV (which shouldn't be on the road either, according to them, but it technically runs, and the bus doesn't at all) or maybe they're just taking a car.

Ooh, good news, guys, I just noticed Sis Becky's page is back.

And here's something really surprising. I looked up their "new church home" that they told of in their newsletter. First of all, it's a tiny church over 600 miles away from their old home base, so what on earth brought them there? But here's the weird part, this is the congregation:

Something is amiss. There's no way they just chose that random, faraway church because it was such a great fit with their racist asses.

[General Jinjur]

Never mind. I'm losing my weens.

[Texas Heifer]

1 hour ago, Coy Koi said:

He just acts like a big ol' doofus as long as everyone is doing exactly what he wants, but I bet he can get vicious real quick as soon as his children (and probably his wife too) dare assert themselves in any way.

Yes! This! "Big ol' Doofus" is exactly how I thought about him before I watched that video (snippet, because I couldn't stand much), and vicious is a great word to express what I was thinking.

You articulated it much better than I did.

They all just seemed so anxious to please, and I felt anxious watching it and listening to him yell, "do it agin!" at them. Could Bro G be a narcissist? He seems like he feels nothing is ever his fault, uses his god as cover for why he's never wrong, etc.

I wonder if this side of him is why, every so often, we get a hint that all is not well in Weensland. Like when Sis Becky deactivated her Facebook because she was mad at him? Or when he talked about wayward children?

It's kind of chilling.

[Coy Koi]

I first saw what I considered his scary side on one of the videos where he was aggressively demanding money for the $60k RV. It seemed like he had a lot of rage barely under the surface. He felt entitled to that money and he was pissed not to be getting it. It made me feel anxious just watching it and I've never been anywhere near the guy, so imagine how his family must feel! And that's not even to get into how much worse he may act when the camera ISN'T on him.

He's such a doofus that it's easy to think that's all he is. But unfortunately for his family, I don't think that's the case.

Oh, and I think I was wrong about the church. There seem to be THREE churches with almost the exact same name within a few blocks, for some reason. (Morning Star Baptist something...maybe the neighborhood is called Morning Star? In any case, it seems unnecessarily confusing!) I'm willing to bet the one Bro Gary joined is a good 100% whiter, but they don't seem to have any sort of web presence at all, at least not that I can find. At least this part of the universe makes sense again.

[Dandruff]

Didn't they need to get permission from a judge to be able to even speak to Becky's kids again?  Depending on the reason, I wonder whether any authority has taken an interest in Bro's kids (if they can find them).

[Gobsmacked]

Dear sisters 

Please could someone with a whole lot more technical know how than me post the videos y'all talking 'bout? 

Thanks in weens

A desperate Sis GS

[Carol]

I would like to know why Gary switched churches.  I think he said it was a better fit?  My guess is that the old church got tired of his grifting and told him to find another group of suckers place to stay .  I doubt it was a happy parting.

The bus's whereabouts remain mysterious but I sure hope he comes back with it.  Everything about it was hilarious.  And now that the kids are gone(except his son), I can laugh about it without feeling bad for them.

PLEASE JESUS, BRING BACK GARY'S BUS!!

 

[Texas Heifer]

52 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Dear sisters 

Please could someone with a whole lot more technical know how than me post the videos y'all talking 'bout? 

Thanks in weens

A desperate Sis GS

I don't know how either, but they are publicly posted on his Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/ghawkins38

[Texas Heifer]

4 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

I first saw what I considered his scary side on one of the videos where he was aggressively demanding money for the $60k RV. It seemed like he had a lot of rage barely under the surface.

I never saw those. I can't bear to watch people beg, because I immediately want to help and I rarely can, but these I don't watch because they're just cringeworthy. JillRod's are a surprising exception, except for when she starts to "sing." She needs to dial it down and stop trying to be Fundie Beyoncé. Nurie has a rather lovely singing voice, because she hasn't started trying to be the Fat Lady in Harry Potter like Jill has; attempting to break glass with her high notes. Good lort.

BUT I DIGRESS.

I am sad that Gary isn't fun anymore. Now he's just a creep...but I suppose it's best that I don't see him as harmless when he totally isn't.

[Gobsmacked]

Sadly I'm having internet/Facebook problems so cannot access Bro Gary's page.

[Carol]

Gary Hawkins and the Caterwalling 4.

I hope this is OK to post for Gobsmacked.  My sincere apologies for  any hearing damage that may occur while listening to this.  This is about an hour old.  It's frightening.

ETA. It looks like he has all 3 of his kids there.  Hopefully this was family visitation night and not permanent.

[Texas Heifer]

5 minutes ago, Carol said:

I hope this is OK to post for Gobsmacked.  My sincere apologies for  any hearing damage that may occur while listening to this.  This is about an hour old.  It's frightening.

Oh my god. I can't. I can't. I got about a minute in, and Bro Tex said, "What IS that? It's terrible!" I said, "it's Bro Gary's family band, and people pay them for this." Then my husband's face melted and fell off, haymayan, god is good allatime.

[MsSaylor]

Ok folks, Im not watching the video but can someone explain who the family band consists of? Is it just this one son of Bro Gary’s that he forcing to sing? 

 

[Gobsmacked]

Thank you Carol! 

Oh my goodness! Bro Gary reminds me of Jim Royale, dad in the Royale Family (Uk sitcom written by the late brilliant Caroline Aherne). Only because he sits in that chair, yells orders to the family and looks grubby and unkempt though. Jim Royale wasnt a  Hay-me-en-ing twit!!!!!

Shoes!!!!! No nasty socks. Still that grubby shirt!!!! 

Puleeeeese Bro Ween - change the camera angle - we DO NOT want to see up your NOT  very clean and tidy nostrils. No sireeeee Hay-me-en they be disgusting. 

The room looks like someone's basement? With sprinklers added for fire regulations?   Ammirite thinking possibly a church basement? I think that may have been mention a few pages back?

Sis GS 

[Texas Heifer]

13 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Shoes!!!!! No nasty socks. Still that grubby shirt!!!! 

Puleeeeese Bro Ween - change the camera angle - we DO NOT want to see up your NOT  very clean and tidy nostrils. No sireeeee Hay-me-en they be disgusting. 

The socks are marginally better than his gross bare foot, but not by much.

I think he must have whatever device he's using to record these soul-destroying videos sitting in his lap. If it's a mobile device, maybe on a stand? But I agree, he needs to rethink the angle.  (I say that assuming that he can think at all. I'd hypothesize that he's a robto, but god doesn't like those, and god loooooves Gary. If you don't believe him, just ask him!)

Sweet mother of pearl, how anyone can get through any of these most recent recordings and still have the will to live, I can't fathom.

[MarblesMom]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

Thanks in weens

I am not sure of the current exchange rate....

[AuntK]

OMG! I was browsing the forums tonight, and having never heard of Bro. Gary, I thought I would quickly just check it out, but, HAYMANYUN, I fell down this rabbit hole, and thought I would never climb out! I have been crying laughing, the weens, the videos, the SUPPER BOWEL. . .How have I missed this? I literally dropped my tablet watching the first video when the first HAYMAYUN came out!   

I don't even understand half of what he says, but damn, these threads are the best! Thanks for giving me the best laughs I have had in months! HALLELOOYER!

[Texas Heifer]

Ok folks, I couldn't help but get a screenshot of the very beginning of the third video from yesterday, and I thought I would share it with all y'all. I will put it under a spoiler so you don't hate me, but this is what happens when there aren't socks, because G-Haw doesn't think ahead.

Spoiler

Now that could be Sis Becky's foot, but either way...

Scarred for Life,

Sis Tex

[Dandruff]

Imagine sitting up front at a church, anticipating spiritual refreshment, and getting a dose of Bro's caterwauling ween breath followed by a request for money.

[SuperNova]

43 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

Ok folks, I couldn't help but get a screenshot of the very beginning of the third video from yesterday, and I thought I would share it with all y'all. I will put it under a spoiler so you don't hate me, but this is what happens when there aren't socks, because G-Haw doesn't think ahead.

  Hide contents

Now that could be Sis Becky's foot, but either way...

Scarred for Life,

Sis Tex

Sweet Rufus on a raft! Look at that hoof. I finally understand why toes are called piggies. Sis Becky better be careful, G-Haw's gonna get hungry and bite one of those weens off.