Maxwell 17: Life After John Left

[luv2laugh]

I’m very upset for Sarah Maxwell. She’s someone’s raised to want to marry and have babies. I feel so sad for her dreams to have been dashed. Why have they never tried to facilitate suitors for her? 

[HermioneSparrow]

1 minute ago, luv2laugh said:

I’m very upset for Sarah Maxwell. She’s someone’s raised to want to marry and have babies. I feel so sad for her dreams to have been dashed. Why have they never tried to facilitate suitors for her? 

Cause Steve doesn't want non maxwell grandchildren, his daughters out of his orbit and with another headship. None of those girls will EVER marry.

[luv2laugh]

2 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Cause Steve doesn't want non maxwell grandchildren, his daughters out of his orbit and with another headship. None of those girls will EVER marry.

What a sick man. I have a friend who went to a Maxwell meeting back when they did them and they said Sarah said she really wants to marry and hopes God’s brings one along soon.

[HermioneSparrow]

4 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

What a sick man. I have a friend who went to a Maxwell meeting back when they did them and they said Sarah said she really wants to marry and hopes God’s brings one along soon.

Steve and Teri are the worst fundies.. They fucked up their children's lives in so many ways. There's a collective sentiment here of feeling very sad for Sarah. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

I have to admit the big reason I check the Titus2 blog is to see an announcement that Sarah is getting married. But so far, it's just been Christmas shoe box, coffee talk, and one time a post about washing the siding on the house. I'm about as disappointed as Sarah at this point. 

[Captain Obvious]

2 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Cause Steve doesn't want non maxwell grandchildren, his daughters out of his orbit and with another headship. None of those girls will EVER marry.

See, I disagree - I don’t think Steve necessarily has an issue with the girls leaving the fold, judging from Sarah’s recent comments about “when we girls are married and living interstate”.

I think his main concern is that any husband has to be both a dominionist AND be able to buy a house debt-free - a combination that only  exists in a small section even of the fundie population.

That said, given that Steve is convinced that his way is the Lord’s way and he has a direct hotline to Jebus, I actually think he just expects perfect husbands to fall from the sky like penis-endowed manna.

It would be against Maxwellism to actually  socialise with wider fundie communities - like IBLP, which they appear to be no longer associated with (the Titus2 logo has also disappeared from the IBLP website) - yet it’s the only way they will find even partially suitable spouses. Anyone else would see the problem, but not Stevehovah. He’s still waiting for that Sky Husband.

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

It would be against Maxwellism to actually  socialise with wider fundie communities - like IBLP, which they appear to be no longer associated with

The Maxwell parents were featured speakers on the IBLP Family Conference circuit last year, rather to my surprise.

Yes, Sarah is 36.  Sarah Rae Maxwell born January 19, 1982 Lancing Kansas. I usually rely on @Bethella for birth dates and her wondrous project is here.   http://www.fruitofthewomb.freejinger.org/individual.php?pid=I119&ged=fotw2

I don't think Stevehovah is against his daughters marrying in theory.  It would be fulfilling their womanly function.  It is more that that he expects perfect home-owning Godly suitors to be dropped into their lives by the Lord.  So he does nothing to help them meet eligible men and keeps them tied firmly to his or Teri's apron strings at conferences.  They struck me as very shy.

Of course, for all we know he has turned down people interested in Sarah, Anna, or Mary as not Godly enough for his ewe lambs.

[HarleyQuinn]

I really do not understand their obsession with buying a home debt free with cash. Is he allergic to mortgages? It's not the worst thing in the world. You're telling me Sarah's dream guy could show up but because he rents an apartment he's automatically disqualified? It's just so ridiculous. 

[fundiefan]

The lives of women at 36 are as varied as the number of women there are. (I don't think that makes as much sense as it did in my head - sorry. It's early).

What makes Sarah a pathetic case is not that she is single at 36, or even really the fact of living with her parents (skipping completely over the kind of life and reasons for living with her parents) - it's that she was raised in a world where her worth and value as a human being lie in being a wife and mother. In serving a man. Since she doesn't have her own man to serve, she serves her father, and brothers. She's living as a child in her father's world. 

We all know women her age, and younger, who are married, with kids; have careers; have traveled; basically, who have lived life and become autonomous human beings. Big girls in the real world and all that entails. Comparing her to any of those women, or ourselves, is just kind of...futile. I don't mean that in a hand slappy way. I mean that there is actually no comparison. It's like apples and oranges. There will never be an intersection to start a true comparison.

It boggles my mind in ways I often can't comprehend. What, in any realm, makes Steve believe that he has done a good thing for her, or any of his offspring? What fucked up bug killed off the part of his brain that should know that 'children' grow up, always have and always will, and and the parent's job is equip them for reality, not some religious utopia you've imagined in your twisted brain? 

[nelliebelle1197]

@Bethella I totally apologize for not coming to you about ages. For some reason I did not think you tracked Maxwells. I should have known better!

[petrushka]

50 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I really do not understand their obsession with buying a home debt free with cash. Is he allergic to mortgages? It's not the worst thing in the world. You're telling me Sarah's dream guy could show up but because he rents an apartment he's automatically disqualified? It's just so ridiculous. 

None of the recently wed Bontrager brothers owns a house yet.  Surely the Maxwell "girls" became aware of that fact while attending the weddings.  But would they be capable of entertaining any doubts about Steve's "wisdom"?

[Bethella]

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

@Bethella I totally apologize for not coming to you about ages. For some reason I did not think you tracked Maxwells. I should have known better!

Don't worry about it. I track most of the families discussed here but certainly not all. If I seem people wondering about ages/birthdays/etc I try to post a response for the ones I have.

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 hours ago, catlady said:

pretty sure Sara is either 36 or 37 this year.

She's 36. We were born in the same year (82). Steve and Teri were also married around the same time as my parents in the 70s. I'm just always amazed that our lives seem to parallel in timing but our lives are so completely different (I have degrees, husband, kids, house, etc) and she's still reading to her adult sisters before bed like they are children. 

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I really do not understand their obsession with buying a home debt free with cash. Is he allergic to mortgages? It's not the worst thing in the world. You're telling me Sarah's dream guy could show up but because he rents an apartment he's automatically disqualified? It's just so ridiculous. 

I wonder if Steve would approve of buying a tiny house debt free. 

1 hour ago, petrushka said:

None of the recently wed Bontrager brothers owns a house yet.  Surely the Maxwell "girls" became aware of that fact while attending the weddings.  But would they be capable of entertaining any doubts about Steve's "wisdom"?

I was thinking one brother did actually have a home on the Bontrager property somewhere. Maybe Carson? One of them had a lot of work to do building a house over the summer. But I guess he could have taken out a large loan for materials. 

[nausicaa]

13 hours ago, AllisonWndrland said:

Add me to the category of people shocked as hell that Sarah reads books to improve her writing. My mind is blown, y'all. 

As someone who also reads books to improve my writing, I am shocked as well, but probably for a different reason. 

Most writing books quote extensively from well-written novels to demonstrate examples of whatever topic they are discussing. And a lot of those novels that are being quoted are NOT Maxwell approved. I'm reading a well-known, and otherwise inoffensive book on plot and structure right now, and so far the book has quoted from White Oleander, The Deep End of the Ocean, The Catcher in the Rye, and has summarized the plot of the film Heat. 

Also, most writing books get into a lot of Freudian type psychology when discussing creating a character's inner self versus outer self and one's personal quest. And discussions of writing natural dialogue include a lot of words that would give Steve Maxwell heart palpitations. 

[Palimpsest]

3 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I really do not understand their obsession with buying a home debt free with cash.

The mortgage aversion could be a Steve created obsession but it may come from that IBLP Financial Freedom course by Jim Sammons.  The Duggars used to be very hot to trot for living debt-free because of that course, although it didn't stop Michelle from trying to weasel out of medical bills.

Not wanting to give $99:00 to IBLP or to make my brain bleed for 16 hours I haven't watched Jim Sammons work of questionable genius.    https://iblp.org/seminars-conferences/financial-freedom/overview

[Dandruff]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Of course, for all we know he has turned down people interested in Sarah, Anna, or Mary as not Godly enough for his ewe lambs.

I suspect he has a spreadsheet containing detailed info on every potential suitor that he's ever heard of.  The guy, IMO, would need to have sufficient resources, be sufficiently hardass fundie, AND be willing to compromise with Steve and his requirements.  I don't think this combination is likely to happen.

[Dark Matters]

13 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Why can't Sarah read to herself?  Do Anna and Mary actually enjoy being read to at night?  Holy crap.

Considering how infantilized they are, I expect they do.

[anjulibai]

I think Steve's aversion to marrying his daughters is the result of 3 things kind of combined together:

1) He wants them to have a husband who a) has bought a house debt free; b ) lives locally; and c) is willing to be under Steve's thumb. These things are just rare and not likely to happen. 

2) He really doesn't want non-Maxwell grandchildren. He seems obsessed with his name, which is interesting considering it's not his birth name. Notice that you Gigi is never invited to be part of the yearly family portraits - she's not actually a Maxwell. 

3) He's terrified of being alone, even with Teri. He needs people around him and serving him and if his daughters go, they won't be there to serve him. His sons he can deal with because they only leave on marriage and they'll give him his Maxwell grandchildren. But he needs his daughters to take care of him and give him the adulation he craves. 

 

I think he consciously thinks he wants the girls to marry and talks about it with them, too. He has to keep up the facade that they will marry one day because it would be too weird not to. But when suitors have appeared, his subconscious reasons push him to find some reason to not allow a courtship to go forward. 

[Ozlsn]

5 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

I think Steve's aversion to marrying his daughters is the result of 3 things kind of combined together:

1) He wants them to have a husband who a) has bought a house debt free; b ) lives locally; and c) is willing to be under Steve's thumb. These things are just rare and not likely to happen. 

2) He really doesn't want non-Maxwell grandchildren. He seems obsessed with his name, which is interesting considering it's not his birth name. Notice that you Gigi is never invited to be part of the yearly family portraits - she's not actually a Maxwell. 

3) He's terrified of being alone, even with Teri. He needs people around him and serving him and if his daughters go, they won't be there to serve him. His sons he can deal with because they only leave on marriage and they'll give him his Maxwell grandchildren. But he needs his daughters to take care of him and give him the adulation he craves. 

 

I think he consciously thinks he wants the girls to marry and talks about it with them, too. He has to keep up the facade that they will marry one day because it would be too weird not to. But when suitors have appeared, his subconscious reasons push him to find some reason to not allow a courtship to go forward. 

Also 4. He wants a son-in-law who will recognise and submit to his authority, same as he's trained his sons to do from birth. I tend to think that's one of thd biggest stumbling blocks in Sarah finding anyone - Steve will not approve of them for micro reasons because he is afraid of losing control. 

I am vaguely hopeful that the wider family connections via marriage may give the three "girls" a better chance at meeting someone and marrying, but I think Sarah at least would have to go against Steve's wishes and be cast out. And that is hard.

[HermioneSparrow]

I think deep down he doesn't want them to marry, when a suitor approach him he probably just makes excuses and unreachable requirements.

[FloraDoraDolly]

20 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

Also 4. He wants a son-in-law who will recognise and submit to his authority, same as he's trained his sons to do from birth. I tend to think that's one of thd biggest stumbling blocks in Sarah finding anyone - Steve will not approve of them for micro reasons because he is afraid of losing control.

#5-- NO SPORTS!!! Even if a suitor appeared who fit all the previously discussed criteria, it will be nearly impossible to find a man who would be willing to give up watching/playing sports. This means no Christian homeschooling leagues, no FamTeams, no Duggars vs. Bateseses type football matches, no attending college games (not even Christian college games). The poor guy won't even be allowed to play catch in the backyard with his own kids because it might give the kids an "appetite" for sports. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I've always put Sarah and JD Duggar together in my head. I think their personalities would work well together and it would mean JD wouldn't have to have a dozen children because of age without actually having to use BC. They've seen one another enough over the last 6 months with the weddings. Therefore I've lost hope they will ever get together. I guess it's likely Steve doesn't approve of JD for some silly reason. 

[OhNoNike]

1 hour ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

#5-- NO SPORTS!!! Even if a suitor appeared who fit all the previously discussed criteria, it will be nearly impossible to find a man who would be willing to give up watching/playing sports. This means no Christian homeschooling leagues, no FamTeams, no Duggars vs. Bateseses type football matches, no attending college games (not even Christian college games). The poor guy won't even be allowed to play catch in the backyard with his own kids because it might give the kids an "appetite" for sports. 

What’s with the no sports thing?  The girls have played games and those are competitive?

[FloraDoraDolly]

1 hour ago, OhNoNike said:

What’s with the no sports thing?  The girls have played games and those are competitive?

Steve is rabidly anti-sports. Way back in the day, Christopher and Nathan were involved in Little League baseball and were apparently quite good players. But Steve objected to the kids having games/practices on Sundays and decided that baseball was taking too much time away from their family Bible readings. He also didn't want his sons looking up to the coach as a leader; they were only allowed to look up to Steve as their leader. The Maxwells used to go to major league baseball games, but that ended because they served beer and played rock music. Steve also thinks men spend too much time watching sports on The Beast (i.e. TV) when they should be working or spending time with their families. Something as innocent as letting the kids kick a soccer ball around in the yard could create an "appetite" for sports, so they're  not allowed to do that, either. They are allowed to exercise/work out and play competitive board games. But NO SPORTS!!!

[SPHASH]

12 minutes ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

Steve is rabidly anti-sports. Way back in the day, Christopher and Nathan were involved in Little League baseball and were apparently quite good players. But Steve objected to the kids having games/practices on Sundays and decided that baseball was taking too much time away from their family Bible readings. He also didn't want his sons looking up to the coach as a leader; they were only allowed to look up to Steve as their leader. The Maxwells used to go to major league baseball games, but that ended because they served beer and played rock music. Steve also thinks men spend too much time watching sports on The Beast (i.e. TV) when they should be working or spending time with their families. Something as innocent as letting the kids kick a soccer ball around in the yard could create an "appetite" for sports, so they're  not allowed to do that, either. They are allowed to exercise/work out and play competitive board games. But NO SPORTS!!!

As a sports fan that is the thing that pisses me off the most about Coward Steve.  My best childhood memories were playing sports from pick up softball games in the big yard to competing on varsity teams in high school.  Fuck you Steve!  And go Vikings tomorrow!