Lori Alexander 36: Still Confused on What Discipline Really Means

[EmiGirl]

2 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

I'm starting to dip my toes into the world of Lindsay's Logic. It would be hilarious if there ended up being a power struggle between Lindsay and Lori and then young Lindsay manages to take away Lori's followers.

I'll bring the popcorn!!

[fluffy]

Well, right now Lindsay's busy telling the poor woman who doesn't want to do certain things in the bedroom that even if her husband is an alcoholic she cannot deny him sex because it's her responsibility but it's a big no to threesomes or anal. You know those discrete Christian women. So modest.   

[Frog99]

7 minutes ago, fluffy said:

Well, right now Lindsay's busy telling the poor woman who doesn't want to do certain things in the bedroom that even if her husband is an alcoholic she cannot deny him sex because it's her responsibility but it's a big no to threesomes or anal. You know those discrete Christian women. So modest.   

I get why a threesome would be a no-no. I know nothing about anal (aside from what it means)- why is that prohibited? Is it akin to homosexuality? Doesn’t lead to possible babies (but then wouldn’t oral be on the list)? 

[fluffy]

@Frog99 Sodomy, donchaknow?

Lori has a long history of discussions about anal sex and often refers to a conversation she had with her father, a doctor, on the topic. 

[EmiGirl]

12 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

I get why a threesome would be a no-no. I know nothing about anal (aside from what it means)- why is that prohibited? Is it akin to homosexuality? Doesn’t lead to possible babies (but then wouldn’t oral be on the list)? 

I'd say oral is on the no-no list too. But according to Lori anal is "playing in a case pool"

[fluffy]

20 minutes ago, EmiGirl said:

I'd say oral is on the no-no list too.

I wonder this too, but then there's "drain him dry" admonition she lovingly tells followers. 

[Celtic Rose]

I concur with @fluffy about Lindsay.  She comes across as very smug but also very emotionless. She does not agree with Lori on vaccinations and does I admit put forward a good case for with proper scientific evidence. Also when Lori posted about women not being made in the image of God she also rebutted what Lori said. But that is all the good I can say about her.

I remember one time in the chatroom someone posted a comment about how her husband wanted to have sex in a way that was very painful for her as in her words bite on the sheets kind of pain.  I think there may have been past abuse issues at play also.  Cue fangirls giving advice on how to maybe miminize the pain but nothing like that she did not have to submit in this case.  As I remember Lori didn't chime in on this one.

[Frog99]

@fluffy and @EmiGirl I do recall reading a comment from Lori about how it’s unsanitary, now that you mention it. I’m fairly new to all of this and had forgotten. There’s so much to keep track of. 

Daughter Cassi is in the chat room but none of the others are. 

[fluffy]

Celtic Rose, thank you! You said it better than I did about the emotionless aspect! That is what I wanted to say but couldn't. She seems robotic. Very perfect and weirdly lacking any sense of humor...or humanity. You're also right that Lori does not chime in about some of the sketchier topics. She chimes in much less than in the past. I've noticed that in the last few weeks. Now, if someone needs to be encouraged to beat her child, she'll pop in with some hardcore encouragement, but about abuse or alcoholism, she's gone awol.

[Frog99]

2 minutes ago, Celtic Rose said:

I remember one time in the chatroom someone posted a comment about how her husband wanted to have sex in a way that was very painful for her as in her words bite on the sheets kind of pain.  I think there may have been past abuse issues at play also.  Cue fangirls giving advice on how to maybe miminize the pain but nothing like that she did not have to submit in this case.  As I remember Lori didn't chime in on this one.

What kind of man wants to have sex with his wife in a way that causes her to bite the sheets in pain? Does he not get that if the sex is enjoyable for her, that it will become more enjoyable for him? 

And what kind of woman responds in that way? That’s why I have such dislike for these women. In their competition to be most submissive or most holy or most whatever it is they think they are, they have lost all ability to demonstrate compassion and empathy for others. Makes me wonder just how nurturing they are to their children. If that were my daughter married to that man and either DH or I caught wind, you would hear about us on the news. 

[Sarah92]

2 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I get why a threesome would be a no-no. I know nothing about anal (aside from what it means)- why is that prohibited? Is it akin to homosexuality? Doesn’t lead to possible babies (but then wouldn’t oral be on the list)? 

I'm gonna try to be as nongraphic as possible because I'm not totally sure what is and isn't allowed on here. But anal sex is not cool with a lot of Christians because of its connection with homosexuality and lack of procreation abilities. It's also seen as being very unclean (which it really kinda is without protection). I haven't heard many other arguments other than those from a church standpoint. 

Why it's not cool with me- From a sex stand point, from what I know  is a lot of guys want to try it because it's a big thing in porn. (These are things I've just heard and read about at sites like Fight the New Drug) What a lot of these guys don't know  or care to know is that it can be very, very painful. Bleeding and tearing is possible. I suspect that's what was happening to the above mention woman who had to bite the sheets in pain. Her husband is a bastard for continuing or even doing it in the first place, whatever may be going on. From my understanding, most women receive very little pleasure from such acts making it entirely for males to enjoy. Of course there's always exceptions to the rule. I don't know if anyone really even cared to know this information or not but there yah go. 

Oral on the other hand I've heard both for and against. It depends on if one believes that "sex=procreation only" or "sex =procreation +fun".  

I've also heard pastors say that as long as there's consent pretty much anything goes except threesomes and swinging. But the key word is CONSENT and in my opinion enthusiastic consent. 

[Liza]

https://thetransformedwife.com/contempt-kills-a-marriage/

*****y   says:

After 36 1/2 yrs of marriage, contempt is winning. I am dead tired of the mental manipulation.   He tells me to get some friends and when I do, he criticizes and cuts them down. He blows up if I talk to anyone. It seems he wants to control everything I do. We need to help his ailing parents, but when I do he finds some reason to blow up over that. He can be the nicest guy when he’s in the mood and he usually acts very nicely around others. But when it’s just him and me, he flips. I know he’s probably an alcoholic. He says it’s only beer, but he drinks alone, most of the time he doesn’t seem too affected by it but some nights I can tell and he’s meaner than usual. I have always been here for him. We are self employed so we’re always together. I try to do things the way he wants but it’s getting harder to know what he wants because it always changes! And I have never talked about him to anyone because that would feel like betrayal. The only ones who know how things are, are our grown children because they saw it growing up. Yes I am growing bitter but I feel the life is being sucked out of me. I am losing interest in everything because, even though he tells me to get involved in things, I know he’ll turn it around on me.
I have tried to be the wife in 1 Peter, I have pleaded with God over this. I am driven to the point where I don’t even care anymore.

Lori Alexander says:  

It sounds like you do need to get involved in things, mainly with godly women who you can gain encouragement and support from even if he turns it around on you. You can kindly remind him that he was the one who encouraged you. Pray for an older, godly woman who you can spend some time with. Are you in the Word daily and finding your strength from the Lord? For He promises that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow.  Lori misses the mark every single time.  The woman is obviously being abused.  It is very clear from what she writes.  The answer is:  Leave!  I wanted to reach out to this woman so much but I knew Lori would delete what I had to say and the woman in question does not seem to have a clue.

I read the posts about disciplining/training (abusing) children and recently the ones about special needs kids.  I think fundamentalism is an evil thing that has nothing to do wih Jesus and is, in fact, an antihesis to what He stood for.

[Liza]

https://thetransformedwife.com/was-jesus-the-gentle-parent/

Okay these posts about discipllining and, right now, about disciplining (abusing really)children with special needs has me very upset.

Logical person asks:

"I  am not against spanking, but in all seriousness what could a child that can’t walk, talk or do anything for themselves do that would require a punishment?"

Reply by a parentwith child with special needs:

"Constantly grinding her teeth, chewing her tongue until it bleeds, sucking her thumb until it cracks bleeds refusing to eat her food for no good reason other than being in a foul mood etc. She is allowed to be unhappy. But when she starts letting everyone know about it and acts miserable all day its unnaceptable. We always search for a reason, (in pain,thirsty,hungry,tired,too hot, too cold, dirty etc) and if no good reason can be found it needs to be dealt with immediately."

WTF IS WRONG  WITH THESE ARSEHOLES!!!!!

[Koala]

Lori:

Quote

This is how women of old dressed and there was a clear delineation between men and women back then. I much prefer it that way!

Lori dresses nothing like "the women of old".  Seriously, which women of old wore flannel shirts, black skinny jeans or leggings, and black boots?  Which women of old wor\e navy tops cut down to their navels?  Which women of old wore tight black dresses cut above the knee?  Which women of old wore short shorts that were cut up to god knows where?  

If she prefers to dress like women of old, let her get to doing it.  She can start by getting rid of pretty much everything she owns, because none of it's going to work for the "women of old" look.

Quote

I sure wear them more than I used to wear them and I know my husband sure loves it when I wear dresses and skirts!

If Ken loves it, then she should do it all the time!  

[delphinium65]

8 hours ago, EmiGirl said:

I'd say oral is on the no-no list too. But according to Lori anal is "playing in a case pool"

I think Lori says anal is wrong because she personally finds it disgusting, so of course her god says it's wrong. 

[usmcmom]

I believe Lori's reason for why anal is wrong is:

"It's the wrong hole."  

Because we all know what a discreet woman she is; and we all know what an amazing writer she is. *sigh* 

This wording is supposedly what she came up with after talking to her father, the pathologisit about the topic. I can't even imagine why she is asking her dad about this kind of thing. I also can't imagine that is how her dad would actually phrase his explanation; unless, of course, he knows he has to talk to Lori in as simple way as possible, given the dim bulb that she is. 

[TeddyBonkers]

If Lori wants to dress like a woman of old, I'll volunteer to cinch up her corset. EXTRA tight, of course.

[EowynW]

Well I've been waiting for Lori to throw herself in with the Bayley brothers. They're all cut from the same cloth. 

Dear Lori, there is a women deacon in scripture, you fool. 

 

https://www.cbeinternational.org/resources/article/priscilla-papers/our-sister-phoebe

[KatBonD]

Lori has written two recent posts where she allows exceptions to the rules. First, the don't leave your husband a list post. She uses Matt Walsh's idea that leaving a husband a list is the same as treating him like a child. However, as soon as any of her readers state that their husbands like a list, then all of a sudden it's okay to do it because your husband likes it.

Then there's the don't dress like a man post. Women must appear feminine, meaning skirts, dresses, and flowing shirts. Readers then started talking about how their husbands don't mind pants. So, now pants are okay - even Lori says that Ken is okay with pants. 

Why does she even bother with these posts? She insists that women must do or not do something, but she isn't setting any ground rules. Anything can be broken as long as the husband approves. It seems more like she's grasping at air to simply write a post. 

[fundamentallyfearless]

Discipline stuff:

Has anyone called the cops about this...? Or tried contacting DCFS??? I think it might need to happen with regards to the child abuse...

[SilverBeach]

Does Lori not realize how simple-minded her idiotic posts make her appear? Just state that anything goes if hubby approves, one and done! The only exception is if he doesn't want to play quasi-BDSM with all her submissive wife nonsense and instead wants a fully formed responsible adult as a partner. Then, he is disobeying God/her, same thing to her. She is one messed-up person.

I just finished the three 2014 Horse of Truth threads. The third one ended abruptly on the fifth page, after a lengthy, somewhat graphic sexual discussion. Do any of you who participated in that thread know why it ended that way, maybe you @Koala? By the way, kudos to you for the way you handed Ken his arse in those threads, Koala. He kept insisting that you mischaracterized (I never want to see that word again) their words when all you did was quote verbatim his and Lori's posts. What a nutter.

Some speculated, probably correctly, that Ken was getting off on the sex discussion with a group of women. I speculate that Lori didn't like the sex talk and threatened to cut him off if he didn't leave, and he finally flounced like he had promised to many times. What a creep, the king of word salad and gaslighting. He and Lori truly deserve each other, as they are both monsters.

 

 

[Hisey]

12 hours ago, Frog99 said:

Here is what Lindsay wrote about shame (from her public FB post):

It's time we re-implemented societal shaming. Without it, we have only two options - let people do whatever they want, no matter how stupid or destructive, or bring in government to regulate their lives. Societal shaming is a great, less invasive way to influence people's behavior without government laws which violate their rights. If only it weren't so politically incorrect.

People should be ashamed of bad behavior, especially when it is destructive to others or to society. They should be expected to live respectable lives of healthy choices and contribute to society or else face disapproval from their peers. We don't need government to make laws to regulate every facet of our existence if we will work as a society to elevate expectations and encourage people (rather than force them at government gunpoint) to behave as rational and decent beings.

A lot of the problems in our society could be largely solved if we hadn't limited ourselves to either a completely hands-off approach or making heavy-handed laws.

Too many women having children out of wedlock? It's terrible for the children and terrible for society. It leads to high school dropouts, gangs, drugs, crime, even more children born out of wedlock, abuse of women and children, and lots of emotional pain, among other things. The studies are clear that it is harmful.

But should be made it illegal? Should people have to get government permission to bear a child or be punished by government for having a child without being married? Of course not. People have an inalienable right to procreate as they choose and government does not have any more right to tell a person that they can't have a child than you or I do individually. Nor would that solution be feasible without the kind of draconian measures, heavy fines, and forced abortions you find in China, all of which violate human rights.

So, how do we solve this problem? Given the current taboo on shaming, we default to doing nothing while children are deprived of fathers and society goes to hell in an handbasket. Yet shaming worked for centuries as a very effective deterrent on out-of-wedlock childbearing without requiring government intervention. Maybe it's time we revisited it.

@fluffy Lindsay is in the chat room- she’s listed as a admin. Lindy is not in the chat room. Jilly is the one that was kicked out- she made an appearance on the undeleted page and I think said she realized reading lori’s stuff wasn’t helpful, but she’s presumably commenting on the blog posts. 

I'm in favor of shaming Lindsey for being an incorrigible shrew!

Seriously, does she think that Jesus wants us to reject and isolate innocent children who are born to out of wedlock parents? Because that's what generally happened in the "shaming" scenarios she is so nostalgic about. "Good" families told their kids not to play with the "bastards," teachers terrorized them, they couldn't find jobs as adults in the communities where their mothers shame was known about.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Ken's crazy reply to sad lady filled with inferences that its her fault....

Ken says:

December 30, 2017 at 5:40 pm

Quote

 

I assume you have spoken to him about “not being nice to you.” Men sometimes need to define what they are doing, and I would suggest that you try to set up a “deal” with him and you are trying to please him, and all you would love to see from him is that he is “nice to you” in how he asks and speaks to you.

If he is a good guy overall, he may respond to seeing his values of being “nice” to others violated. If he agrees to the game, ask him if you can gently say his name, and continue saying his name until he stops being mean or starts being nice.

Imagine a wife who gives up her resentment and contempt, supports he husband tries to model for him what being nice looks like… an a husband willing to allow his wife to call his name out gently when he starts being “not nice.” It may take a while, and he won’t turn nice overnight, but if you can play your part it is very hard for a husband who believes he is a nice person overall, not to be “nice” to his wife… unless his own contempt drives deep. And in that case only winning him with your own love may allow the Lord to do His mighty work of change.

Never give up! Remember, this is not about you, but about the Lord Jesus and your marriage. Find out from him is anything you are doing sets him off… and ask him to hold you accountable for not doing those things in ways that are always “nice,” not by getting upset or mean.

We often do not realize how much hurt and pain we have caused our spouse over 36 years. Sure, he or she has caused us pain and frustration too, but to get to the heart of the matter, confessing ones own sins, and asking for forgiveness, and accountability to change those things, can go along way to begin to break down the resentment that stands at the door ready to spring back with unkind remarks and contempt.

 

 

[Hane]

Yeah, Ken, because the typical “good guy overall” has no problem treating his wife like crap and gaslighting her.

[SuperNova]

From today's post about woman deacons:

"We’ve all seen a rebellious teen-ager or wife. Wise pastors and elders have learned to pick up the non-verbal cues that show this rebellion. Usually you can see it in the eyes or the expression on the lips. God made us this way and it is only through a cultivated ignorance that officers of the church are unaware of the obvious signs. I wish I could pick up the cues as easily as my African students do."

Am I missing something? What does the highlighted portion mean? I cannot for the life of me figure out what this man is getting at.