Safe at Home (Arndts) 3: No penguins were harmed in the making of this thread

[usedbicycle]

She definitely sews all of her tops out of the same pattern, they have posted about it. 

I think her "uniform" is a good insight into the rigidity of their lives. Both she and Rick seem extremely averse to change, and base their life around timeless, endless traditions (softball, VV, vacations to Maine, collecting lighthouses and penguins).

Cathy has worn the same clothes, same hairdo and same lip gloss for at least 20 years. She's still a stay-at-home mom to 14 kids. No grandkids to make her feel old. Whether it's the fear of aging or the fear of change, they truly have found a way to make time stand still.

[VVV]

33 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

She definitely sews all of her tops out of the same pattern, they have posted about it. 

I think her "uniform" is a good insight into the rigidity of their lives. Both she and Rick seem extremely averse to change, and base their life around timeless, endless traditions (softball, VV, vacations to Maine, collecting lighthouses and penguins).

Cathy has worn the same clothes, same hairdo and same lip gloss for at least 20 years. She's still a stay-at-home mom to 14 kids. No grandkids to make her feel old. Whether it's the fear of aging or the fear of change, they truly have found a way to make time stand still.

Nailed it.

[nokidsmom]

8 minutes ago, VVV said:

Nailed it.

Completely.  I know from experience what it is like to have parents who are adverse to change to the point that they never want their children to leave home, but the Arndts take it to a whole new level.   Especially considering the number of kids.    There had to have been a very strong message sent to all of them throughout their lives that their place was with Mommy and Daddy, including the message that change is a bad thing. 

[The Mother Dust]

On 11/29/2017 at 7:53 PM, JenniferJuniper said:

It can't finish.  The only alternative would be to move somewhere where the elderly boys can be required to play softball year-round. And those places probably have too many gays or brown people or *gasp* Democrats for Rick's liking.  No, it must be softball in the spring and summer, Vine Valley filming in the winter and Vine Valley editing in the autumn. Every year for the rest of their lives.

We need a "kill me now" reaction emoji .  Though I suppose the "disgust" reaction emoji is not too far off base.

[MarblesMom]

On 8/9/2018 at 12:32 PM, nokidsmom said:

There had to have been a very strong message sent to all of them throughout their lives that their place was with Mommy and Daddy

There are several sons who photograph weddings.  They must see the joy in other's meaningful relationships, right?  Not to mention hot bridesmaids... How can they cleave so to the parental units?

Is it possible some are dating and it is just totally off social media?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

There are several sons who photograph weddings.  They must see the joy in other's meaningful relationships, right?  Not to mention hot bridesmaids... How can they cleave so to the parental units?

Is it possible some are dating and it is just totally off social media?

I suspect maybe some have dated but hid it from their parents. Or maybe they dated and their parents talked them out of getting serious. I just can’t believe none of these guys have even gone on a date! 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I suspect maybe some have dated but hid it from their parents. Or maybe they dated and their parents talked them out of getting serious. I just can’t believe none of these guys have even gone on a date! 

I think it's possible that they have dated and kept it hidden from their parents.  Might be the only way they can manage it.  And in the case of dating someone, possibly Mommy and Daddy talked them out of getting too involved.   But assuming that either is the case, what kind of life is that?  Especially as you get older?  How frustrating must it be to both parties (meaning manboy and gf) to keep it hidden or not take a relationship to the next level because Mommy and Daddy don't want it?

ETA: Even if any of them dated at some point something has to give as far as, well, living your own life.

[nokidsmom]

Thinking further about @MarblesMom's post, she raises a good point about their work in wedding photography, seeing the joy in these relationships.   Would they not want the same thing for themselves?    Are they so focused on the work and don't think about anything else?  Or do they go back to the homestead, wistfully thinking "gee, I wish that would happen for me?" 

It's just so weird.  Maybe some day, when Rick is not around to put the nice face on their lives, maybe we might get something that indicates that there was a lot more going behind the scenes.  If you asked me to be a fly on the wall in a fundie family's house, the Arndt household might be one I would pick in hopes of seeing what's really going on in there.  Then again, I might die of boredom because of the chance that it really is what it looks to be.  

 

[Markie]

What do the adults in this family do? Which of the sons are court reporters, which of them are wedding photographers? Are there any other occupations? I don’t include Vine Valley Videographer or Penguin Wrangler as full-time occupations? 

[Tatar-tot]

This family is like watching paint dry.  Change the title or start a new thread if anything ever changes, okay?

[The Mother Dust]

On 7/26/2018 at 3:58 AM, anjulibai said:

Peter turns 18 today. There are now 13 adults living at home with their parents. Because that is totally normal.

Two and half more years until all 14 Arndt "children" are legal adults, and just over 2 years until the first Ardnt "child" turns 40. 

I have no doubt that in 2.5 years, nothing will have changed at all.

Of the families we follow here, will he (the oldest son) be the first "kid" to hit 40, while still in a "stay at home" situation?  The Maxwell stay at home kidults would be next, I think?  Gonna get more and more awkward as the second generation ages at home.  

[anjulibai]

2 minutes ago, The Mother Dust said:

Of the families we follow here, will he (the oldest son) be the first "kid" to hit 40, while still in a "stay at home" situation?  The Maxwell stay at home kidults would be next, I think?  Gonna get more and more awkward as the second generation ages at home.  

He might be. There's one family with a few older sons at home, but I forget their name and I'm not sure the sons have passed for 40. 

[AnnaSofia]

I'm pretty sure Kelly and Andrea Reins are over 40, though they're known for their own blog rather than their family, so that may not count.

Sarah Mally should turn 40 this upcoming January, so she'll beat out the oldest Arndt by just a bit.

[The Mother Dust]

9 minutes ago, AnnaSofia said:

I'm pretty sure Kelly and Andrea Reins are over 40, though they're known for their own blog rather than their family, so that may not count.

Sarah Mally should turn 40 this upcoming January, so she'll beat out the oldest Arndt by just a bit.

Ah, I haven't read any of the Reins threads at all.  Do Kelly and Andrea still live with their parents?  Also, I feel like I should say for the record (though i think most reading here would get it) that i'm not throwing shade on adults living with their parents in general. It's just the hypocrisy of these fundies with all of that "stay at home" stuff and the rest of their rhetoric.  Edit to say, I am a pearl clutcher now, haha!  

[teachergirl]

Yes, the Reins sisters live at home while posting about Plexus and meeting anti vaxxer "doctor" Andrew Wakefield.

[AnnaSofia]

1 hour ago, The Mother Dust said:

Ah, I haven't read any of the Reins threads at all.  Do Kelly and Andrea still live with their parents?

It looks like Andrea is 38, and Kelly is 41, so I was a bit off.

They've gone pretty quiet these days. I think they closed their "Ah, the Life" blog, but some of their old contributions are still around on "Ladies Against Feminism" (yes, an actual website).

This is the blog post that earned them true FJ infamy: 

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018014408/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2006/09/bringing-home-rebecca.html

And the FJ thread on the follow-up to the story:

Kelly is still on social media, pushing her quackjob "health" ideas.

https://www.instagram.com/ah_the_life/

https://twitter.com/Ahthelife

I'm going to be totally catty here, but for someone who ingests eleventy billion health tonics per day, she's aging like hell.

[The Mother Dust]

1 hour ago, AnnaSofia said:

It looks like Andrea is 38, and Kelly is 41, so I was a bit off.

They've gone pretty quiet these days. I think they closed their "Ah, the Life" blog, but some of their old contributions are still around on "Ladies Against Feminism" (yes, an actual website).

This is the blog post that earned them true FJ infamy: 

http://web.archive.org/web/20101018014408/http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2006/09/bringing-home-rebecca.html

And the FJ thread on the follow-up to the story:

Kelly is still on social media, pushing her quackjob "health" ideas.

https://www.instagram.com/ah_the_life/

https://twitter.com/Ahthelife

I'm going to be totally catty here, but for someone who ingests eleventy billion health tonics per day, she's aging like hell.

Wow, thank you for the great links and info @AnnaSofia!  Do I have some reading to do. And I am ok with that.  I love the wayback machine.  I glanced at the Bringing Home Rebecca post (i will read more in depth later) and I was immediately overwhelmed with eau de smug.  Was Rebecca a friend of the Reins family?  That is so crazy about her husband going to prison, WOW.  I am trying not to cackle too gleefully about that.  I don't want to drift this thread too far away from the Arndts, but does anyone know what Rebecca and her husband are doing now?  I am going to have to track down the Reins thread....

And heh.....I will be catty right along with you. ;-) In fact, there is a bottle of some kind of lotion? on her insta, and I just saw the word "radiation" on it, and noped right out of there.

[Petronella]

5 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

I don't want to drift this thread too far away from the Arndts...

Me neither, but man, “Bringing Home Rebecca” never gets old. It’s so off-putting and, as you said, smug.

I just re-read and these two lines made me giggle:

”Because of where her office is she won't see us coming.
Her co-workers will be surprised too.”

I bet they will!

And this one, under a picture of Rebecca herself being surprised by this bizarre entourage:

”Oh, wow, everyone is here!”

She seemed from the whole context to be on board with the weirdness, but that line combined with her seemingly hesitant expression in the photo made me read it as teeth-clenchingly fake-polite. Hee hee!

I just can’t get over how cocksure these fundie blogs are. Life is long. Being compassionate to others leaves room for compassion for you when things don’t go as planned, but they don’t allow for any of that. Just control, control, control and such childish, simplistic black-and-whites.

Dear Arndts: we have been reduced to discussing other fundie families in your thread. Please DO something!! ;-)

[Howl]

Quote

Mrs. H,
Sam and Rebecca are friends and business associates of our family. You can find more "coverage" of our little party here-http://www.heumoore.com/2006/09/restoring-manhood-to-america.html

~Andrea

So, did the "business" pay legal fees and keep Rebecca and kids afloat while hubs did hard time? What exactly was the business? Gun related?

[Lisafer]

Every time someone refers to "Bringing Home Rebecca," I rejoice that it has not been forgotten. It was so gross and really (to me) sums up the smugness and controlling nature of fundamentalism, and the idea that everything will be perfect in this little fundie wonderland.

Well, it wasn't perfect. Her husband went to jail...and I've had a friend who had been incarcerated, but the difference was that they came out and owned what they did, admitted their problems, and worked to change. Rebecca's husband was full of frantic justification of what he did. I remember that clearly.

[Briefly]

The Bringing Home Rebecca post was really terrible.  I don't mean the way it was written or anything, I mean the subject.  As Lisafer said, her husband tried to justify what he did and never took responsibility for his actions.  He did what he wanted and that was supposed to make it all right.  Sorry, the real world does not work that way!

Mr. Briefly commented the other day that he wishes our home-based business was enough that I could quit my job.  I had this immediate vision pop into my head about how I would want to be brought home!!  It would probably involve a trail being placed from my office to my house, and the trail would be made of chocolate candy and bottles of wine.  He couldn't figure out why I was laughing so hard.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Let me guess. When her husband went to prison and her GFM produced very little, Rebecca started shilling some MLM. 

[nokidsmom]

11 hours ago, Petronella said:

And this one, under a picture of Rebecca herself being surprised by this bizarre entourage:

”Oh, wow, everyone is here!”

I remember that picture from the blog and just saw again courtesy of the Wayback machine.  I agree she looks surprised that they all showed up at her workplace.  Like it wasn't enough for her to get through the last day herself, they had to make a big, smug show of it all and escort her out.

I bet her former coworkers always remembered that day.  There's some work experiences you never forget.

[Briefly]

2 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

I remember that picture from the blog and just saw again courtesy of the Wayback machine.  I agree she looks surprised that they all showed up at her workplace.  Like it wasn't enough for her to get through the last day herself, they had to make a big, smug show of it all and escort her out.

I bet her former coworkers always remembered that day.  There's some work experiences you never forget.

I would not be surprised if her former coworkers were glad to get rid of her.  She seems to be like the type that would constantly talk about herself, her belief system and how she is so much better than they are/her beliefs or church are the only way, etc.  I can also see her proselytizing to them.  Beating them over the head with her religion, in other words!  Especially if they were female, since males are the only ones supposed to work.

[nokidsmom]

8 minutes ago, Briefly said:

I would not be surprised if her former coworkers were glad to get rid of her.

I wouldn't be surprised if her boss(es) were also glad to see her walk out the door.  Especially with that smug entourage invading the workplace to escort her out.  It had to have been disruptive.