Dillards 35: Waiting on People Magazine

[JenniferJuniper]

1 hour ago, mtc3659 said:

I mean it's a crap shoot we are even going to have a boy tbh. We each have 2 sisters and most of the extended family members are girls. So I'm going into this completely open actually. I know that my family name is going to be passed down, but my fiance is the last male in his family to have his last name. It would be nice to see it passed down regardless of gender. However fiance shares a name with his dad and grandpa. So it would be super cool to pass down a first and last name to a boy (we have picked a different middle name than what fiance has). 

My oldest two have my name. One of my sister's children has our family name.   My two brothers and two male cousins are the last males with the name and none have or are likely to have children.  You may have a son who doesn't have kids or has kids who have their mother's name.  He himself may take his partner's last name. The world is changing; I'd probably avoid pinning those hopes on any child.

[VineHeart137]

31 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

The gender disappointment discussion is fascinating. When I was pregnant with my son I was sure he was a boy (decided not to find out beforehand), but would have been happy with either. I did tell my husband that if we were going to have both I'd rather have the boy first, but that's mostly because I loved having older brothers, and having a girl first would not have been the end of the world.

I remember wanting a boy first when I was pregnant for the same reason, except I never had an older brother, but I had friends with older brothers and I thought their relationships were pretty cool. My husband wanted a girl. We both felt like I was having a boy before the anatomy scan but she's a girl! Now of course I can't imagine having a son instead of her. 

We're strongly considering only having one more (assuming we can get pregnant again and it's a singleton!) and now I honestly don't care if we have another girl or a boy. It will be nice to experience raising a boy but it would also be cool to give my daughter a sister so this time around we don't care.

[flycat]

I wonder if the Duggars are waiting for M5 to be born to show pictures of Jill and family. It would be a perfect way to distract from Josh.

[epic fail]

Not sure if it was discussed previously. Just some thoughts on baby's sex disappointment.

In Jills case I got the feeling (from watching the show) that Cathy really wanted a girl. The few seconds on 19kac  made it seem like she was a bit disappointed about Izzys being "another boy" and in Sammys jinder reveal episode  the "maybe the next one will be a girl" comment (Sammy wasn't even born yet!) and the pink shirt for a girl thing.

I do not want to say that Cathy doesn't love both Izzy (as is obvious) and Sammy but she wasn't shy do hide her wishes from international tv.  Guess there was a lot of prayer for a girl involved and Jill must know this. Jill might feel the pressure of birthing a girl and combined with difficult L/D that might be daunting.

[Four is Enough]

12 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

Actual medical terminology can be stigmatizing. Mentally retarded was previously a medical term, and before that idiot, imbecile, and moron were "real" medical terms. Language, including medical language evolves.

in 1973, in nursing school, I learned the word "cretin" for the most impaired "retarded" child. No lie.

1 hour ago, rosastrohhut said:

I just saw the weird video clip in which Jessa introduced Samuel. I now, too believe something went wrong. 

 

I'm sorry, but I've been looking at those pictures of Sam, and he looks yellow to me, You know, Jaundiced? especially in the early ones. I know that Derick has a more olive complexion than Jill, and I'm hoping that's all it is, but...

1 hour ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

 get pregnant again, I suspect I'd be disappointed if it were a boy, especially because we're on the fence as to how many to have and I want at least one girl. That said, it's mostly based on gender norms in the US and when you come right down to it, health is most important.

We adopted One. He was male, healthy. We were happy. We adopted Two. Male, happy. Part of me wanted a female.. but another infant adoption would be another tossup. So we thought, adopt one already born! And that's how we got Three, male, and Four, female. And they have ALL disappointed the hell out of me, and they have ALL made me the happiest, proudest, most joyous and grateful woman on this planet, at some time or another.

2 minutes ago, epic fail said:

.  Guess there was a lot of prayer for a girl involved and Jill must know this. Jill might feel the pressure of birthing a girl and combined with difficult L/D that might be daunting.

If Cathy was hoping for a girl to be a sister mom, boo. If she was hoping for boy-girl-and-done, yay.

[Exposedknees]

I'm the oldest- I had 5-count em-5 younger brothers....I had multiple chances and multiple marriages of my parents and got brothers...

I always wanted a sister. I don't really remember wanting girls or boys when I was pregnant but I just expected more boys. SURPRISE! I got 2 girls and seeing their close sisterhood has been amazing.

(I did finally get sisters...I just adopted them from my own friends.) 

[Snarkylark]

7 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

 

If Cathy was hoping for a girl to be a sister mom, boo. If she was hoping for boy-girl-and-done, yay.

Cathy had two sons. I'd imagine she just wants a little girl to finally dress up and fuss over:)

[Screamapillar]

I would like to have one of each, but I always pictured myself having boys. Boys run in my family. (I was the only girl born in my father's line of the family for 3 generations. His Dad only had boys, his brothers only had boys, his grandpa only had boys...) When I was pregnant everyone kept telling me it was going to be a boy because of that old wives tale that girls make you sicker with pregnancy, and I wasn't sick at all. I kind of had a gut feeling it was a girl though, and it was!

I never wanted one more than the other, though I have such a great older brother that I thought it would be sweet to have a boy first with a younger sister. (My younger brother, on the other hand, frequently drove me crazy growing up!) You never know how the kids are actually going to get along together though, of course. I would be thrilled with either a boy or a girl with the next one. I love having brothers, but I always wished I had a sister too, so I would enjoy seeing my daughter get to experience life with a sister. Right now we're on the fence about whether we're going to have just one more or two, and I honestly can say I don't care what sex they are, as long as they're healthy. I might be out of my element with 3 girls though, since I grew up fighting with brothers. I have no idea how to handle sister fights!

[PennySycamore]

My husband only has sisters and his dad had one sister and one brother.  His dad's brother had two girls and one boy.  My unmarried daughter wants to retain her last name if she ever does marry.  My daughters think that husband's uncle's son is gay.  I think it will be funny is the person that passes on the family name is a gay man with kids.

@Screamapillar,  you'll learn to deal with sister fights if you should have girls.  My girls' fights were primarily about who got to sleep with the cats.  We only had two cats, but we had four daughters.  I suppose we needed more cats!

[VelociRapture]

Before my miscarriage I really wanted four or five kids and at least one of each sex. After? I'm just happy if my baby is relatively healthy and happy. And after my horrible morning sickness with my daughter* and her premature birth, I told husband I'm only open to one more for now. Possibly two, but that really depends on how the next pregnancy and delivery go (if we are so fortunate to be able to have another kid.)

We'll still likely find out the sex ahead of time. I liked being able to talk about Velocibaby by name with husband. It made the pregnancy feel more real and helped me feel a little calmer.

*And for anyone who does still believe that girls make their mothers more sick than boys, I present my mom and MIL as exhibit A and B. Mom birthed two girls with minor nausea both times. MIL birthed three sons with the worst morning sickness all 9 months of each pregnancy. So yeah, it's 100% old wive's tale. 

[JordynDarby5]

Even though I've dreamed of having two girls and a boy I'd really be happy with whatever combination I got. All boys, all girls, a combination of each. I just really want kids. The first born in my family has always been a boy I'd be shocked if it was a girl.  There's also always so many boys in my family it would be surprising to end up with more then one girl. The really fun part is seeing the personalities the kids develop. 

[jozina]

Not 100% old wives take, there is an element of truth to it. If you get severe morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum) you are more likely to be having a girl. Like, so says the science kind of more likely, not just something my grandmother told me. Doesn't mean everyone with no morning sickness is having a boy or that everyone with severe morning sickness is having a girl, just that it's more likely the baby if you do get severe morning sickness.

[zygote373]

32 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

My girls' fights were primarily about who got to sleep with the cats.  We only had two cats, but we had four daughters.  I suppose we needed more cats!

The solution to every problem is more cats.

[freshlemonade]

21 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Maybe I'm just old but I can't wrap my head around the birth wars...at the end of the day the goal is healthy mama, healthy baby. Does it REALLY fucking matter HOW they got here? 

I think I understand your point here.  Healthy baby and healthy mama should be the end goal for any pregnancy,and how you get to that end goal shouldn't matter.  You and your baby are well, so you should be content and happy.  

For me, this just wasn't the case.  I have had two emergency  c-sections for two totally different reasons.  (one due to failed induction at 42 weeks, and one at 29 weeks due to reverse end-diastolic flow)   Although our youngest spent months in the NICU, the end results for both pregnancies were healthy babies and I was healthy.  I knew I should be thankful, and I was incredibly thankful and joyous and happy.  But, I also dealt with a lot of feelings of inadequacy for having to have c-sections and disappointment that they were not the natural, vaginal  births that I had hoped for. I never felt a single contraction.  I don't know exactly how to explain it, but I felt like I missed out on that badge or bond that women who endured the pain of childbirth share.  And I know that can sound crazy, because why would I wish for pain?  I also know that it sounds ungrateful and spoiled.  I feel guilty for having these feelings because so many other women are struggling TTC or suffering miscarriages, or have sick children.   

[SapphireSlytherin]

25 minutes ago, jozina said:

If you get severe morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum) you are more likely to be having a girl.

I'm proof-positive.

Princess Kate/Duchess of Cambridge is not. She had it both pregnancies, first with Prince George and then with Princess Charlotte.

[December]

My grandma couldn't understand why couples today would opt not to learn the sex of the baby, just out of curiosity. But I suppose that makes a lot of sense as when she had kids you didn't have the option for scans to see how the baby was progressing and they'd often knock you out for the birth itself. It's awesome that people have options now to choose what's best for them in conjunction with doctors' advice. 

[cascarones]

10 hours ago, Greendoor said:

If she sues for an infection that is grifting at it's finest.

I had a C-section, was released 3 days later, then back in three days after that and didn't get out for another nine days due to an infection.  Honest to Pete, there are side effects to just about anything, I think an infection fall in that category, it's not life changing. 

Actually, you can sue for HAIs (hospital acquired infections) and quite often win, hospitals are currently fined for any readmittance, because it is so dangerous to patients. If the strain is one specific to the hospital it's easy to prove you got it there (ex. Battey bacillus was one of the first studied at Battey TB hospital in GA). They are often infections with strains already drug-resistant, which require much stronger drugs and longer inpatient stays, 9 days is no joke, and the readmittance mortality rate is appalling. So I'm very glad you were fine 

It's an avoidable side effect if hospitals are using proper sanitization and disinfection methods, but many are still using outdated technology, methods and poor sanitary habits on staff. I used to work for a medical device company and closely with infection control and I've seen some horrible bad habits when investigating why the use our device wasn't decreasing their HAI rates. Things like cleaning a OR, pushing a dirty surgical cart in there to clean the next OR, therefore reinfecting it and not realizing that was wrong. 

So if anyone is going into the hospital for a stay, surgery, birth, whatever I suggest checking their stats ahead of time or asking your provider to inquire from the infection control and get you a write up!

Fun fact: All of those 'kills 99.9% of bacteria' on your cleaning stuff? Well, that's only true if the surface is wet with the compound for 5 minutes.

[Flossie]

8 minutes ago, cascarones said:

Actually, you can sue for HAIs (hospital acquired infections) and quite often win, hospitals are currently fined for any readmittance, because it is so dangerous to patients. If the strain is one specific to the hospital it's easy to prove you got it there (ex. Battey bacillus was one of the first studied at Battey TB hospital in GA). They are often infections with strains already drug-resistant, which require much stronger drugs and longer inpatient stays, 9 days is no joke, and the readmittance mortality rate is appalling. So I'm very glad you were fine 

It's an avoidable side effect if hospitals are using proper sanitization and disinfection methods, but many are still using outdated technology, methods and poor sanitary habits on staff.

Don't give the Duggars any ideas.  Jill might go for it as an excuse of why she's not destined to have a hundred kids, or even just as an excuse to stay in town and not go back to Danger America.

Now, having said this, I hope that Jill hasn't developed an infection.  I have a feeling that if she's having problems, it's more like PPD.

[Nikedagain?]

1 hour ago, zygote373 said:

The solution to every problem is more cats.

You're my favorite today. <3

[SuhrEnity]

2 hours ago, jozina said:

Not 100% old wives take, there is an element of truth to it. If you get severe morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum) you are more likely to be having a girl. Like, so says the science kind of more likely, not just something my grandmother told me. Doesn't mean everyone with no morning sickness is having a boy or that everyone with severe morning sickness is having a girl, just that it's more likely the baby if you do get severe morning sickness.

I have 2 girls and both times I ended up with hyperemesis gravidarum so I am proof of this too.

[MiddleAgedLady]

Thread drift: 

Would the Duggars ever do DNA testing? It's becoming cheaper to do. Do they ever talk about their heritage? 

[HereticHick]

I'm getting tired of waiting on God's  People Magazine's Perfect Timing.

[Jessie E]

The more time that passes without any real update, the more I am starting to wonder what might be going on.  I think something most likely happened during labor.  That's the only thing I could see the Duggar's not being so quick to sell out to the media.

Sam looks good and I think if he was having any sort of issue (regardless of how big or small) the Duggar's would be all over that. Derrick may even use it to gain sympathy and get donations from the leg humpers. I think it all goes back to Jill. Something is off there and it's not matching up with their Fundie views so they have to hide it.  Maybe PPD that they think they can just pray away or she may have to be done with baby making.

[viii]

Reveals don't necessarily mean anything. My friend and her boyfriend found out at 20 weeks, bought everything they would need, painted the nursery, bonded with their daughter Penny... only to actually have a boy. Now they're happy with Zeke, but they were definitely thrown for a loop. 

[meee]

21 minutes ago, Jessie E said:

Maybe PPD that they think they can just pray away

i don't know anything about PPD. Can it be, I guess, "hidden"?  Is it like regular depression in that some people are able to at least appear to have a normal life (certainly long enough to take a "family of 4" picture)?  I would have thought that someone like Jill, if indeed PPD is what's going on (which I doubt) would specifically be asking for prayers and posting more things along the lines of that bible verse she posted that i don't remember.