Old Fashioned: A Creepy Christian RomCom/Drama

[Jasmar]

On 7/2/2017 at 3:05 PM, NachosFlandersStyle said:

One of my favorite poems, from suffragist Alice Duer Miller: 

"Chivalry

It's treating a woman politely

As long as she isn't a fright:

It's guarding the girls who act rightly,

If you can be judge of what's right;

It's being—not just, but so pleasant;

It's tipping while wages are low;

It's making a beautiful present,

And failing to pay what you owe."

ZOMG, this is my ex!! So chivalry is just the pretty side of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

[catlady]

many apologies if i missed this, but Clay The Self-Important Controlling Douchebag runs an antiques store, right?  if he won't be in the same room alone with a woman who is not his wife, how does he handle female customers?  does the movie address this?

[Coy Koi]

46 minutes ago, Jasmar said:

ZOMG, this is my ex!! So chivalry is just the pretty side of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Oh, you dated Tyrone too then? My condolences.

I just love that poem @NachosFlandersStyle posted so much! And I'm so glad to be done with assholes like that. I will never again subject myself to this. Ever.

[Cartmann99]

On 7/5/2017 at 11:45 AM, catlady said:

many apologies if i missed this, but Clay The Self-Important Controlling Douchebag runs an antiques store, right?  if he won't be in the same room alone with a woman who is not his wife, how does he handle female customers?  does the movie address this?

Good point! I've had jobs where I opened up and ran the place by myself for a few hours, because we didn't have very many customers in the mornings. I guess Clay would have sat out in the parking lot until one of my coworkers showed up for work.

 

The modern world is just a simmering pot of temptation for men like Clay.

[Lurky]

The thing I've never really understood about "a man can't be alone with a woman" is that the man usually says it, as if he's being virtuous, but what I hear is "I literally have no control over you, and if there was no one else around, I'd try to rape you".   If I knew a man who said he didn't want to be alone with me, in this Fundy way, I'd make damn sure he never was!

This is the thing abut the Patriarchy, is while they obviously hate women, they have a lower opinion of men than even the most Radical Separatist Lesbian from the 1990s! The whole reason women have to cover kneecaps and shoulderblades is because one glimpse could cause a man to turn into a literal monster.  That's a terrible way to see yourself, or the men you purportedly love and respect.

[L1o2u3]

The question whether it's problematic for Clay to be alone with a woman in the antique shop remains unanswered and is never brought up in the movie. But I think that in the book, there is a situation where Lisa comes with her daughter, I think, to the shop to talk to Clay and that is okay. Well, it would be really weird if he couldn't control himself in a situation like that with a toddler in the room. 

In Chapter 19 ("nobility isn't just for royals") of the devotional, the author mentions Billy Graham that stepped out of an elevator to avoid being alone with a woman. 

Maybe the antique shop counts as public space? I don't know. I can partially understand the elevator thingy because some are really small and if somebody would seem to be afraid or uncomfortable and I can afford to wait, I would probably wait and let them be alone because they might be claustrophic or something like that, but I don't think this is a man - woman thing. Unless the elevator  gets stuck, you're only alone for a few seconds and it would be really creepy if someone couldn't control themselves for a fucking few seconds  

I've already said in this thread that I am a little uncomfortable with men (except for my boyfriend) in my apartment and that is because the apartment is my private space. And it's very small since it's only one room. And that's not really because I am afraid I might get raped, but simply because my room tells a lot about me that a janitor or some other guy doesn't need to know (although the janitor probably doesn't care). Unless people behave in a creepy way, I'm not afraid or uncomfortable with being alone with a man anywhere else, I also don't have an issue with male doctors or whatever. So if the public/private space thing would be the reason, I think it makes at least some sense. 

[Beermeet]

You'd think it would be the opposite. 

Like, I'm so Christian and self controlled because Jesus, I can be alone with a woman for weeks and not touch her.  I mean, my guy friends when I was single managed it.  My husband can manage it with me and female friends.  Unless you are some sexual deviant, this is a common occurance.