An Oklahoma School Had a Christian Sex Educator Speak to Kids, and (Surprise!) It Was a Disaster

[lilwriter85]

From The Friendly Atheist

(Article contains additional info and links)

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/03/24/an-oklahoma-school-had-a-christian-sex-educator-speak-to-kids-and-surprise-it-was-a-disaster/

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March 24, 2017 by Hemant Mehta

Administrators at an Oklahoma public high school foolishly invited a Christian sex-ed lecturer to speak to the senior class, and now they’re getting the inevitable backlash because that talk was a disaster.

On Wednesday, Shelly Donahue spoke at Jenks High School, and the reason we know about what she said is because a senior, Brooklyn Wilson, posted about it on Facebook. She was appalled that her school would invite such an uninformed, irresponsible person to present on such an important topic.

 

 

[Cleopatra7]

Comparing boys to waffles and microwaves and girls to spaghetti and crock pots was weird and offensive. Don't schools vet adults who are supposed to be lecturing to the students as authority figures or do they just pick the first person who comes up in a Google search?

[lilwriter85]

18 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Comparing boys to waffles and microwaves and girls to spaghetti and crock pots was weird and offensive. Don't schools vet adults who are supposed to be lecturing to the students as authority figures or do they just pick the first person who comes up in a Google search?

Incidents like this have happened before. Best example is ultra religious speaker Pam Stenzel, who has managed to land speaking gigs at both private and public schools. I do hope this school and other schools in surrounding areas starting vetting speakers.

[wotdancer]

4 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

Incidents like this have happened before. Best example is ultra religious speaker Pam Stenzel, who has managed to land speaking gigs at both private and public schools. I do hope this school and other schools in surrounding areas starting vetting speakers.

Omg her video (Sex has a Price Tag 2000) was an annual event in my youth group. I still get twitchy when I think about it.

[louisa05]

10 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Comparing boys to waffles and microwaves and girls to spaghetti and crock pots was weird and offensive. Don't schools vet adults who are supposed to be lecturing to the students as authority figures or do they just pick the first person who comes up in a Google search?

Speaking from experience in education, if someone offers a free speaker, most schools will jump on it. We had some really awful ones that were "sponsored" by outside organizations or local businesses. I wonder if some group or individual offered to pay if they had this woman do the assembly. 

One was a motivational speaker who told the kids about all the drugs she did once upon a time and that it was "great" and "a lot of fun" but "not really healthy". She was also there the day after 9/11, so getting pumped up and motivated and cheering about "follow your dreams" was pretty hollow. The staff wanted it canceled and the principal thought it would be rude. 

We had some guy who competed at "the world's strongest man" events that a local business also paid for. He told the kids steroids were fantastic and a great tool for his career. He also had a terribly sexist moment when he asked for the strongest kid in school to come up and the kids all pointed to a girl. He argued that it should be a boy who played football. He did not know (as the students did) that that girl had won a national powerlifting competition. She was also able to do whatever it was (can't remember) that he was going to prove no one but him could do. He ended up looking kind of stupid which was the highlight of that assembly. 

And a local "ministerial association" pushed an abstinence group on us by paying for both the public school and our Catholic school to have them in. They were college aged kids telling teenagers all about sex. All self proclaimed virgins and half of them proudly declaring they'd never been in a relationship ("your spouse should be the only person you ever date!"--except they didn't say no dating, so no idea how that was going to work). One of the ones who had never been in a relationship tried to explain emotional intimacy, too. They did the pieces of your heart nonsense with torn up construction paper hearts and the wedding skit with all the former partners at the altar nonsense and some scare tactics about STIs (including claiming that UTIs and yeast infections are STIs). For that one, we were sent to homerooms with a discussion sheet. I was proud that my homeroom kids saw through most of it and we actually had a good discussion about what emotional intimacy actually is (virgin who had never dated painted it as something a 12 year old girl would come up with--flowers and giggles and secrets...) and even about sex. And I ended up reassuring a freshman girl who privately told me she'd had a yeast infection when on an antibiotic and was terrified that her mom or her doctor must think she'd had sex. 

The teacher who did sexuality in theology class was really angry about that assembly. She taught abstinence but not with that dose of nonsense and fear. She left STI info to health class for one thing. And she thought it was extremely important to tell students that while the church regards premarital sex as a sin, that doesn't mean that it is going to ruin your life or future marriage, etc... Especially in light of the fact that some kids who came into her class had probably already had sex by their own choice and that some may have been sexually abused. 

[ViolaSebastian]

It really says something about a school when a high school senior has more sense than the entire administration put together. 

[lilwriter85]

4 minutes ago, wotdancer said:

Omg her video (Sex has a Price Tag 2000) was an annual event in my youth group. I still get twitchy when I think about it.

I had to watch that video and another one of hers when I did Catholic confirmation classes in high school. Everyone in my class hated her. Years later, she spoke at the Catholic high school that my cousin's kids attended and they thought she was too extreme.

[Jasmar]

30 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Comparing boys to waffles and microwaves and girls to spaghetti and crock pots was weird and offensive.

That one went through Evangelicalism about 5-7 years ago. It was a really big passing fancy with groups like Family Life Today and Focus on the Family. Lots of Christian radio time expounding on Pam Ferrel's book.

Aaand, apparently they still are (article dated 2017):

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/gods-design-for-marriage/why-are-men-like-waffles-why-are-women-like-spaghetti/why-are-men-like-waffles-why-are-women-like-spaghetti

[louisa05]

14 minutes ago, Jasmar said:

That one went through Evangelicalism about 5-7 years ago. It was a really big passing fancy with groups like Family Life Today and Focus on the Family. Lots of Christian radio time expounding on Pam Ferrel's book.

Aaand, apparently they still are (article dated 2017):

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/gods-design-for-marriage/why-are-men-like-waffles-why-are-women-like-spaghetti/why-are-men-like-waffles-why-are-women-like-spaghetti

I had never heard that one before. And I did my time in evangelical world. I had heard microwaves and crock pots before, but not spaghetti and waffles. That may be getting close to the bottom of stupid. 

Also, now I am hungry for waffles. 

[ofDany]

So, while I kind of get the spaghetti concept, I don't get the reasoning for the waffles = compartmentalizing in boxes.  Is it because waffles come in boxes?  Because the only waffles people know of anymore are in boxes?  If so, I'd like to point out that spaghetti also comes in boxes... Also, the spaghetti has to be cooked for this analogy to work.  And now I'm hungry for spaghetti.

[louisa05]

Just now, ofDany said:

So, while I kind of get the spaghetti concept, I don't get the reasoning for the waffles = compartmentalizing in boxes.  Is it because waffles come in boxes?  Because the only waffles people know of anymore are in boxes?  If so, I'd like to point out that spaghetti also comes in boxes... Also, the spaghetti has to be cooked for this analogy to work.  And now I'm hungry for spaghetti.

I think it's because a lot of waffles can be split into pieces easily because of the separated squares or triangles. Like this: 

http://www.ihop.com/-/media/DineEquity/IHop/Images/Menu/MenuItems/Belgian-Waffles/belgium_waff.ashx

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Wow, even the nun in my Catholic school in the 1970s did better than this. Sixth grade, some wild rumors were circulating about what sex was & the nun got annoyed & set us straight.

[clueliss]

I  heard the Spaghetti and Waffles bit in women's group at Church.  (Mainstream to Evangelical)

[Howl]

Oh boy oh boy, the comments section on that kid's fb post heated up fast.  "Feminazi" and the f-word were flying around fast and furious, but most people were appalled that this woman was called in to talk in a public high school assembly.  

[RosyDaisy]

OMG! That is disgusting and offensive as hell!

[polecat]

On 3/24/2017 at 2:03 PM, lilwriter85 said:

From The Friendly Atheist

(Article contains additional info and links)

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/03/24/an-oklahoma-school-had-a-christian-sex-educator-speak-to-kids-and-surprise-it-was-a-disaster/

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So, I'll take this as an opportunity to recommend that if your kids' schools offer sex ed, ask to see the curriculum. Not just a review or a survey but the entire curriculum. Why? Because Christian organizations (usually crisis pregnancy centers) have found this is a great way to get their messages out. They offer their sex ed curriculum free or at super low costs to public schools, and of course, cash-strapped districts take them up on it more often than you'd expect.

In Missouri, one of these curriculums is called "Thrive," and there is a dedicated parents' group trying to get it out of the schools. They've succeeded somewhat but are still fighting. In Illinois, one popular one is called Mosaic/Rel8, and to date, it is still being used. They don't just use shame-based methods to bully the kids about abstinenece -- they also give them patently false (or really shady) info about STIs and STDs and tell kids that having sex before marriage causes cancer and depression; they tell them that getting HIV/AIDS ruins your life and will lead to you being an outcast forever; kids who get STIs can't be trusted by their parents. And so on.

So as I said -- don't just trust your school that they're doing what they're supposed to be doing re: sex ed. Many of them are NOT even when it's flatly illegal (for example, Illinois is required to provide comprehensive sex ed, not just abstinence-based sex ed).