Lori Alexander 17: Pooping on Someone Else's Lawn

[dairyfreelife]

I don't see anything wrong with children helping their parents. My siblings and I have discussed often how to help our parents since my father is not doing well at all in health. Yes, my mother works full-time now and has a job with health insurance and will soon sadly have to be the sole breadwinner. There's disability, but it's not anything close to what my father is making now (they are planning to get him started on the process in the next couple of months because he can no longer work like he used to and is struggling to do his job now thanks to his disease). 

So, it's nothing they did to cause the illness or sudden change to my mother being the primary breadwinner where she wasn't in the past. Normal people don't hide behind things to irk reality and responsibility. They see the circumstances and get up off their ass and do what must be done. 

However, though my siblings and I wish to help our family in any way we can, physically, mentally, financially, it's not an obligation. Not once have I ever thought that my parents gave me life therefore I am obligated to help them because I am so grateful I was born. I would love to know someone who actually thinks this. No, I think how much my parents have done to help me and how great they were and how lucky I was to have great parents. They are family and as such I want to help them in any way I can. That they gave me life never entered the picture. Ken and Lori are so weird. Also, do they or have they ever actually helped our their own families? I just can't see Lori ever giving a penny to her parents to help them out. 

 

[Caribou]

16 minutes ago, dairyfreelife said:

I don't see anything wrong with children helping their parents. My siblings and I have discussed often how to help our parents since my father is not doing well at all in health. 

However, though my siblings and I wish to help our family in any way we can, physically, mentally, financially, it's not an obligation. Not once have I ever thought that my parents gave me life therefore I am obligated to help them because I am so grateful I was born. I would love to know someone who actually thinks this. 

I agree wholeheartedly with this. If any of our parents were still alive, we'd do anything and everything we could for them. And I know our children would/will do the same for us.

The difference, in my understanding of what Lorken said, is that they are telling people to forgo putting aside money into silly things like retirement accounts and instead use that money now to have more and more kids. And, in return, this boatload of progeny will, can and must take care of you in your senior years. In my opinion, this is selfish, unrealistic, short-sighted, unfair and an absolutely appalling reason to have a shit-ton of kids.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

My mom recently told me that her & my dad used to give his parents $20 a month (in the 70's) because they could not always afford food. My grandmother was embarrassed to ask the first time. My parents just decided they should continue giving them some cash. They could afford it. My mom never mentioned this before now because it was private and not a big deal.

This is what families do. Food insecurity is common in lower-income seniors. But helping out a parent is different from living large and not saving at all for retirement and expecting your kids to pay for your retirement.

[Caribou]

3 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

But helping out a parent is different from living large and not saving at all for retirement and expecting your kids to pay for your retirement.

Exactly.

[lilwriter85]

7 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

I don't see anything wrong with children helping their parents. My siblings and I have discussed often how to help our parents since my father is not doing well at all in health. Yes, my mother works full-time now and has a job with health insurance and will soon sadly have to be the sole breadwinner. There's disability, but it's not anything close to what my father is making now (they are planning to get him started on the process in the next couple of months because he can no longer work like he used to and is struggling to do his job now thanks to his disease). 

So, it's nothing they did to cause the illness or sudden change to my mother being the primary breadwinner where she wasn't in the past. Normal people don't hide behind things to irk reality and responsibility. They see the circumstances and get up off their ass and do what must be done. 

However, though my siblings and I wish to help our family in any way we can, physically, mentally, financially, it's not an obligation. Not once have I ever thought that my parents gave me life therefore I am obligated to help them because I am so grateful I was born. I would love to know someone who actually thinks this. No, I think how much my parents have done to help me and how great they were and how lucky I was to have great parents. They are family and as such I want to help them in any way I can. That they gave me life never entered the picture. Ken and Lori are so weird. Also, do they or have they ever actually helped our their own families? I just can't see Lori ever giving a penny to her parents to help them out. 

 

 

7 hours ago, Caribou said:

I agree wholeheartedly with this. If any of our parents were still alive, we'd do anything and everything we could for them. And I know our children would/will do the same for us.

The difference, in my understanding of what Lorken said, is that they are telling people to forgo putting aside money into silly things like retirement accounts and instead use that money now to have more and more kids. And, in return, this boatload of progeny will, can and must take care of you in your senior years. In my opinion, this is selfish, unrealistic, short-sighted, unfair and an absolutely appalling reason to have a shit-ton of kids.

 

3 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

My mom recently told me that her & my dad used to give his parents $20 a month (in the 70's) because they could not always afford food. My grandmother was embarrassed to ask the first time. My parents just decided they should continue giving them some cash. They could afford it. My mom never mentioned this before now because it was private and not a big deal.

This is what families do. Food insecurity is common in lower-income seniors. But helping out a parent is different from living large and not saving at all for retirement and expecting your kids to pay for your retirement.

I don't think there is anything wrong with helping elderly parents in different. The issues are that Lori expects her children to completely support her to the lifestyle she has had throughout her life and she doesn't consider that other issues my arise. 

Like dairyfreelife, I also don't see Lori helping out her parents out if they needed. It seems Lori's dad planned and saved for his retirement well. I would be curious if Lori and Ken ever helped out Ken's parents as he did mention that his father was a poor pastor or missionary.

As mentioned before, I don't think Lori would be satisfied trying to survive on government programs. She wouldn't be satisfied with the foods that are given via government commodity programs. She would probably be hitting up her kids for money for her big salads.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Lori's post today is all based on the assumption that if your husband leaves you, you must have done something to push him away. This is not always the case. Sometimes people are just selfish and have their own issues. 

[Koala]

I think it's wonderful to help aging parents.  My issue is with parents who plan to use their children as a retirement plan.

Lori encourages her readers to: skip college, marry young (making sure not to worry about "having all of their ducks in a row"), have as many kids as possible, and live on one income.

Then she tells readers not to worry about retirement, because you can just kick back and let your kids support you.

Umm, how?  They have no education, a dozen kids, and one income?  Do you really think they have the funds to help elderly parents?

It's shitty advice, but that doesn't matter at all to Lori, because she has Daddy & Ken ready and willing to support her.  She knows that she can go out and spend gobs of money on wasteful things and never have to worry about whether she can still afford groceries or the mortgage payment.  

She doesn't give a rat's pajamas what happens to these people, so she gives them crappy advice, and assures them that they don't have to worry about money because "God owns everything".    I am sure she never gives them a second thought when she's out wasting $70 on a denim skirt, and they're trying to figure out how to make 2 chicken breasts feed a family of 11.

Lori gives careless, reckless advice because she knows she will never have to live the life she "prescribes". 

[onemama]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

She doesn't give a rat's pajamas what happens to these people, so she gives them crappy advice, and assures them that they don't have to worry about money because "God owns everything".    I am sure she never gives them a second thought when she's out wasting $70 on a denim skirt, and they're trying to figure out how to make 2 chicken breasts feed a family of 11.

I agree. To Lori, that woman has either earned her "predicament", should be practicing "contentment" or is just one more "how tragic" case.  No skin off Lori's nose. 

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Lori gives careless, reckless advice because she knows she will never have to live the life she "prescribes". 

Exactly. I sure wish she got a taste of it. Not the most desperate situations, just a few years of serious financial worry would do wonders.  

Lori doesn't realize the future may have a nasty surprise or two in store. Her children have only just begun their lives as adults. Just like John Piper's son got a divorce, one of Lori's children could go through a divorce.  One of John Piper's children took a holiday from the faith, and so could one of Lori's "well-raised" children suddenly have a crisis of faith and walk away, if only temporarily.  Ken could have an accident or get sick so that he could no longer provide for her. Her children may not be able to care for her, financially or otherwise. The Bible teaches that what you sow, you reap. Well, what is Lori sowing?

Lori doesn't realize that you can't control life.  You can do the best with what it hands you, you can learn how to let go of things that are out of your control, you can use your experiences to help others, but sitting there, doing what she does, is asking for trouble. 

[onemama]

I'm wondering where Dave and Trey have gone.  I don't think they've posted on Lori's blog in the last few weeks. I guess Lori's missing the flirting. Perhaps Ken got her to submit? 

[Free Jana Duggar]

28 minutes ago, onemama said:

I'm wondering where Dave and Trey have gone.  I don't think they've posted on Lori's blog in the last few weeks. I guess Lori's missing the flirting. Perhaps Ken got her to submit? 

Yea, maybe Ken finally told her to stop posting their replies.  Either that or she has not posted about wives not putting out lately.  It seems that was all they wanted to comment on anyway.

[onemama]

23 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Yea, maybe Ken finally told her to stop posting their replies.  Either that or she has not posted about wives not putting out lately.  It seems that was all they wanted to comment on anyway.

I expected them to jump all over the post about wives' "bad thinking" or the one on how submission isn't "bondage", especially considering the picture Lori originally posted on that blog.  

[Flossie]

Is it possible that Ken has the password to Lori's blog and has quietly accessed it and banned the MRA's without her realizing it?

[Koala]

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This is what I have almost every night for dinner. 

There's something for Ken to look forward too.

The first half of their marriage she made big salads every night and left Ken to fend for himself, and the kids to beg for Ken's food.  Now it's soup mush almost every night.

She has some real control issues with food.  I make a pretty good veg. beef soup, but I would lose my mind if I had to eat it every night. 

The other day she was posting pictures of her lunch salad.  Salad and soup, soup and salad.  Meanwhile she harps on other women about cooking.

[jerkit]

Look, I eat the same things over and over again because it's easy and I don't mind. But I also don't lecture people about their cooking habits.

[onemama]

24 minutes ago, jerkit said:

Look, I eat the same things over and over again because it's easy and I don't mind. But I also don't lecture people about their cooking habits.

So do I. Her soup mush looks and sounds appetizing to me, and I might make something like that for myself every other night if I didn't have a family that like variety and more meat on their plate.  

 

49 minutes ago, Koala said:

She has some real control issues with food.

Maybe Ken should start leading in the food area, after all, according to Ken, a wife should submit to her husband in everything and that means relinquishing control and becoming vulnerable.  

[onemama]

1 hour ago, Flossie said:

Is it possible that Ken has the password to Lori's blog and has quietly accessed it and banned the MRA's without her realizing it?

I guess if he did, he'd only be applying what he teaches. Discipline, control and all that....

[YourMamaKnew]

Her blog post from today...does she make up her own scripture? She has said consistently that if a man divorces his wife (or divorce in general) his eternal soul will be lost. AKA losing his salvation. There is LITERALLY not a single verse in the bible to support that! FRAUD! And of course she doesn't approve or will delete messages she doesn't agree with. Ugh this woman.

 

Also, Ken used to be on this forum? How did yall know it was actually him?

 

[jerkit]

Just now, YourMamaKnew said:

Her blog post from today...does she make up her own scripture? She has said consistently that if a man divorces his wife (or divorce in general) his eternal soul will be lost. AKA losing his salvation. There is LITERALLY not a single verse in the bible to support that! FRAUD! And of course she doesn't approve or will delete messages she doesn't agree with. Ugh this woman.

 

Also, Ken used to be on this forum? How did yall know it was actually him?

 

Can you post the actual quote for this?

[YourMamaKnew]

“they are not only fighting for their husband’s eternal sou...l”

 

She has also said in one of her videos that a husband will go to hell if he divorces.  

[Loveday]

43 minutes ago, YourMamaKnew said:

Her blog post from today...does she make up her own scripture? She has said consistently that if a man divorces his wife (or divorce in general) his eternal soul will be lost. AKA losing his salvation. There is LITERALLY not a single verse in the bible to support that! FRAUD! And of course she doesn't approve or will delete messages she doesn't agree with. Ugh this woman.

 

Also, Ken used to be on this forum? How did yall know it was actually him?

 

The admins have a way of verifying accounts. But all you have to do is read his posts to know for sure, it's so obviously Ken it's ridiculous. 

[Showtunesgirl]

Today's post is...disturbing? Distressing? I'm trying to come up with an appropriately summative word and failing. It seems as if the wife who Lori quotes is basically apologizing for all problems in her marriage and justifying her husband's insults. That's not ok.

[onemama]

Oh my, a conversation on the post:

A reader asks

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Can you expound upon what you mean when you say “they are not only fighting for their husband’s eternal soul”?

Lori replies:

Quote

 

I have a friend and her sister’s husband moved out of their home and lived in an adulterous affair with another woman. My friend’s sister didn’t fight for him and now he is on his third woman and a mess; far from the ways of the Lord. If he doesn’t repent and believe, he will suffer in hell for eternity.

Other women have had the same things happened to them but they fought for their husbands (as the woman who wrote the above letter is doing )and have won them back. These husbands have repented of their sins and believed in Christ as their Savior. Their marriages are strong, their children are happy, and they attend church regularly. These women fought for their husbands’ eternal souls, as God has told them to do in 1 Peter 3:1-6, and won them to the Lord and back to them.

 

She actually has the gall to blame her friend's sister for her husband's choices. 

Reader asks:

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Is there a specific verse that says a man will go to hell for this? .... Almost 2 decades ago, I was divorced. ...... I don’t believe that he will spend eternity in hell for that. He still loves the Lord and believes in Him as Savior and follows him. That is the only ‘act’ for salvation. And it certainly would not be MY fault if he lost his salvation.

And Lori:

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As long as a believing wife is in an unbelieving husband’s life, he is seeing Jesus who lives in her and this sanctifies him. There is a much better chance that he will repent and believe if the wife fights spiritual warfare for his soul. ..... Disobedient husbands are won to the Lord by godly wives who are willing to live in subjection to them, without preaching the Word to them, but showing Jesus to them by the way they live. This is powerful stuff!

That passage is talking about non-believing husbands who are still married to their wives and living with them.  It's telling wives not to go and preach at them with words but with their example.  There's no talk about a wife being responsible for her husband's soul or that a wife should keep taking her wandering husband back. 

She quotes 1 Corinthians 7:14, but look at what the very next verse says:

15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

Lori consistently quotes Scripture out of context, misinterprets it and mangles it in such a way that it's unrecognizable.  I call that abusing Scripture, not faithfully teaching it. 

What do you make of this? It's at the very end of a long comment:

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See, we forget that our husbands are Jesus wearing size 32×32 Levi’s or size medium Fruit of the Looms or a 15.5 x 33-inch dress shirt. This man is a soul, and every spiritual battle we fight, every prayer we pray, every meal, swept floor or pair of clean socks is worth it so he’ll never whiff the fumes of hell. If we wouldn’t wish hell on Jesus, we must do everything in our power to see that our husbands don’t go there either.

 

[Showtunesgirl]

@onemama That last comment is so wrong, not to mention theologically incorrect and dangerous. A husband is NOT Jesus. Being the picture-perfect domestic goddess does not ensure anybody's salvation. I agree that believers are called to live out the gospel every day, but as a testament to the transforming grace of God in our lives, not because it is their job to make sure their spouse doesn't go to hell. It is not our effort, or lack thereof, that makes or breaks another person's salvation, as if salvation is ours to give or withhold. 

[BlackSheep]

Regarding taking care of one's parents...

I went from full time to part time last summer because our parents need more help. Our siblings live out of state, so it's all on us. Currently my biggest project is helping my FIL to find a senior apartment and clean out his house.

Our budget is very tight now, but I'm thankful to be able to help them like they helped us all our lives.

If I didn't work and we fully supported our parents, as Lori says, we'd be broke and homeless in no time, and then we'd be no help at all to our parents.

As for $70 on a denim skirt... I bought my clothes at Walmart even when I was full time.

[onemama]

15 hours ago, Showtunesgirl said:

 That last comment is so wrong, not to mention theologically incorrect and dangerous. A husband is NOT Jesus.

I think the commenter was thinking about Matthew 25:40 

40And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’

But I don't believe Jesus is talking about allowing a husband to walk all over you in the name of serving "the least of these". 

15 hours ago, Showtunesgirl said:

It is not our effort, or lack thereof, that makes or breaks another person's salvation, as if salvation is ours to give or withhold. 

True.  I do believe we are called to love one another and treat others as we would have them treat us, but whether they accept Jesus as their savior or not is their business.

Here you have the whole story of one widow Hulquist, who patiently waited for her husband for 12 years. It's heartbreaking, especially the "moral" this commenter attaches to it. 

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Until her prodigal husband “came to his senses,” as the Word says about the prodigal son, Widow Connie Hultquist cried out to God daily for her wayward man, setting a place for him at the head of their dinner table for 12 long, horrific years. She did battle for him on her knees in prayer, listening for the door, ears cocked for the sound of his footsteps. He came home numerous times, and she asked no questions. That’s what shame does, asks why did you leave me? Asks, what were you thinking? She never shamed Jim. She said she just poured her love out on him, helped him bathe, exchange his rags for clean clothes, poured in the oil, massaged his broken body, filled his stomach with a delicious, hot meal that she had stirred with love and seasoned with reverence and compassion.

Widow Hultquist fought on her knees in obedience to the Word of God for the soul of her ungodly husband. Finally, after 12 long years of running from God, Connie’s faithful prayers chased her husband down; Jim couldn’t refuse that kind of deep love for another second. He yielded and humbled himself before God and went back home. He decided he wanted Connie’s God. His widow says it was worth every tear shed, every trying moment of every lonely night in their bed. Jim was Connie’s Jesus, and when she acted upon her faith in these ways toward “the least of these,” she had done it unto Jesus.

 

It sounds like this woman's husband was a criminal given to disappearing and coming back home to his long-forgotten and neglected wife whenever he had nowhere else to go.  So this woman decided to show him the love of the Father in the parable and welcomed him every single time he came home, serving him and not asking any questions.  I won't tell her she sinned or did wrong, but their children may have a different story to tell.  

But should every wife do that? I think it takes a very strong woman to pull through that, and her strength has to come from inner conviction that she's doing the right thing.  Lori wants to guilt trip women into doing something that only love and the Holy Spirit can inspire anyone to do, and as @Showtunesgirl said, she uses very poor theology.

Lori plans to publish that comment as a post, so look forward to that!