Girl Defined

[CurlyWurly]

Every time I come back to Girl Defined all I can think about is how these are the Serena Joys of the real world (following on from what @Goodnightngo said earlier--they're absolutely fundamentalists they're just more effective at selling it).  Honestly these women are selling a pretty bleak looking future.  I feel like Kristen's schtick for the last little while has basically been that she's miserable in her marriage (all the articles about how only God can fulfil you, not your husband), and I feel like a lot of their blogging has been about lowering expectations of your husband.  Add to that the fact that they're doubling down on the virulent homophobia.

I would not be at all surprised to hear that Dav had done reparative therapy.  I know people who did it in the 80's and it's honestly the most heartbreaking stuff.  But this new focus leaves me wondering if one of these women is winding up to tell us about her own 'struggles with same-sex attraction'.  Kristen wrote an article a while ago about her 'struggles with masturbation' and this seems like a similar bent.  

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, CurlyWurly said:

Kristen wrote an article a while ago about her 'struggles with masturbation' and this seems like a similar bent.  

 

I haven’t read this! I’m seriously shocked she wrote about that. It seems quite taboo for female fundies to even say the word masturbate! 

[CurlyWurly]

4 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I haven’t read this! I’m seriously shocked she wrote about that. It seems quite taboo for female fundies to even say the word masturbate! 

https://www.girldefined.com/masturbation-wrong-christian-girls-part-1

Buckle up, it's pretty ridiculous 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, CurlyWurly said:

https://www.girldefined.com/masturbation-wrong-christian-girls-part-1

Buckle up, it's pretty ridiculous 

“In fact, from that point on until I got married (7 years later), I only gave in to masturbation a handful of times.”

??

[Goodnightngo]

Kristen and Bethany put out a video today about early morning bible study/quiet time. Bethany was talking about how she often has to reread chapters of the Bible to understand * and she was like "I'm not a super brain, I'm not the smartest" and was ? "Girl tell me something I don't know!" 

 

*not like there is a problem with this, I know some people have learning disabilities that make this a necessity, I just thought it was hilarious she admitted she wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box ?

[CatholicLite]

Bethany wrote an article today that has all the journal entries from her and Dave throughout their relationship and their writing just seems, I don't know, off? Almost as if they were written by teenagers.

Take a look:

https://www.girldefined.com/a-peek-inside-dav-bethys-journals

Also, is any one else bothered by the spelling "Dav"?

[yeetedonem]

I will always say Dav in my head like Dahv, I can't undo it. 

I only made it about halfway, but there is something odd about their writing styles, particularly Dav. He seems like he's trying very hard to sound smart, but diary entries are usually more casual and stream-of-conscious (which is why I'm not too bothered by Bethy sounding like a teenager). Dav keeps using phrases like "I observe" and over-defining (On Sunday, October 22, 2017, Bethany and I officially entered an official relationship  …for the purpose of intentionally figuring out whether or not we should get married) as if he is expecting someone else to read his writing. 

Also, even though they both mention October 22 as The Big Day, they both don't bother to mention it until about 2 weeks later lol

[CatholicLite]

1 hour ago, yeetedonem said:

I will always say Dav in my head like Dahv, I can't undo it. 

I only made it about halfway, but there is something odd about their writing styles, particularly Dav. He seems like he's trying very hard to sound smart, but diary entries are usually more casual and stream-of-conscious (which is why I'm not too bothered by Bethy sounding like a teenager). Dav keeps using phrases like "I observe" and over-defining (On Sunday, October 22, 2017, Bethany and I officially entered an official relationship  …for the purpose of intentionally figuring out whether or not we should get married) as if he is expecting someone else to read his writing. 

Also, even though they both mention October 22 as The Big Day, they both don't bother to mention it until about 2 weeks later lol

If someone was reading his diary, it could be that he just pretended to like Bethany as more than a friend because he wanted some people in his life to stop thinking he was gay? But I could be wrong. Just observing.

[freethemall]

Ok so I'm new to these girls, is there a primer somewhere?

I'm also confusing them - which one got married recently? Are they both married? When did the first one get married?

So many questions, sorry in advance!

[CatholicLite]

7 hours ago, freethemall said:

Ok so I'm new to these girls, is there a primer somewhere?

I'm also confusing them - which one got married recently? Are they both married? When did the first one get married?

So many questions, sorry in advance!

These girls run a youtube channel called "Girl Defined", have a blog called girldefined.com and are fundie though they come off a bit as fundie-light, and the youtube video they are most known for called "How to wear makeup in a God-honoring way": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcgbejzZwho . They're a real rabbit hole. Bethany got married in October, at thirty. Her husband (David, goes by Dav) is most likely gay? I get those type of vibes from them. If you go on her instagram, instagram.com/bethany.beal he sometimes hijacks her stories to sing really creepy love songs! It's a blast. Kristen (the older one) is thirty two, and I think has been married for eight years to this guy named Zack.

[louisa05]

From Dave (spelled normally on purpose, Dav with a vowel sign is pretentious and stupid), his "first mention" of Bethany: 

Quote

I observe that I have been becoming very attached to Bethany Baird.

I am overwhelmed by the romance. I teared up. I can't go on until I am less overcome...

Or not. Was he chronicling the ongoing results of his 9th grade science fair project? 

[yeetedonem]

10 hours ago, freethemall said:

Ok so I'm new to these girls, is there a primer somewhere?

I'm also confusing them - which one got married recently? Are they both married? When did the first one get married?

So many questions, sorry in advance!

Just to add - they are very much into the purity movement and most of their content is geared towards making sure girls and young women don't even so much as have a sexual thought until marriage. They also have some firey anti-LGBT posts. 

If you're looking for some hilarious commentary on them, check out the YouTube videos made by CodyKo and Noel Miller reacting to their channel. 

 

[freethemall]

All they do is TALK. endlessly. Like how is it even possible to talk so quickly and so much??

[Tryamon]

I wonder how these two ladies feel, after obsessing over ‘honoring god’ all the time, yet god hasn’t rewarded them the way they’d expect. I suppose that they would say that is ‘god’s plan,’ but how long can they be okay with ‘god’s plan’? When they are doing all the right things, even going above and beyond (spreading gods word through ministry or saving their first kiss for marriage), how is it that they are not reaping the rewards?

Bethany recently married at the age of 30. A good portion of the comments on their engagement video talk about how he is gay. I have to wonder what she thinks about this. Is it the devil itrying to ruin her marriage? or does she think that god is punishing her for not honoring him enough? She has waited all this time for a man that (by his body language) isn’t that into her. 

I am facinated by the inner thought process they must be having. Are there any ever whispers of doubt? Do they not observe the ungodly people around them living full, healthy lives?

Also yeah, they can take any little topic and spin it into a seven to twelve minute video about “Doing X in a god honoring way”. I have to admit, that is a talent. 

 

[CatholicLite]

Also, are they against women working outside the home whilst they are married? Because I feel like I'm getting contradictory messages. They refer to what they do as work.  They travel, speak at their own conference, run a ministry where they put out two blog posts and a video each week, and their sister-in-law is a counselor, so... I still really don't know what their opinion is. Anyone know?

[Plexus31Wife]

On 1/5/2019 at 11:01 PM, CurlyWurly said:

https://www.girldefined.com/masturbation-wrong-christian-girls-part-1

Buckle up, it's pretty ridiculous 

Ridiculous and also utterly depressing. The most she can muster up in terms of biblical justification for her position is a vague reference to 2 passages about the garden variety sin of "sexual immorality", and then tells girls they should confess masturbating to another person and also try to distract themselves by doing...chores. What kind of advice is this?? 

Did get a kick out of 2 or 3 of the comments, though. This one in particular:

 

[Timetraveler]

Good channel.

I despise these girls.

[luv2laugh]

These girls were involved in ATI/IBLP. They come off as privileged and unrelatable.

[PurpleCats]

Dav(e) took over Beth’s stories today.  For like four frames I was like oh he’s not too terrible, just goofy.  Then he made some crack about the unjust and “millions of years I don’t think so” which I can only imagine means he’s a young earther... and... 

 

Then the most punchable, sh** eating grin.

[luv2laugh]

All of the comments keep saying Dav is gay. He’s outgoing, goofy, and a bit flamboyant but I don’t think we can know for sure if he is gay? 

If he is gay, I feel really bad for him and I can’t imagine this going well. I remember a Mormon couple, Josh & Lolly Weed married, knowing the husband was gay and chose to marry anyway.

They are now, after 4(?) kids, divorcing but remaining best of friends so that he can live a life that’s true to himself.

Edited February 2, 2019 by luv2laugh

[Tryamon]

1 minute ago, luv2laugh said:

I remember a Mormon couple, Josh & Lolly Weed married, knowing the husband was gay and chose to marry anyway.

They are now, after 4(?) kids, divorcing but remaining best of friends so that he can live a life that’s true to himself.

I wonder if it is a youth thing. A person grows up in a culture like Mormonism or in ATI, and they only see people that have bought into it. They don’t see the gay disowned aunt or whatever. So they see that THIS IS HOW IT MUST BE and deny that they are gay. 

Then after a decade or two of being an adult, being a bit more exposed to things (especially the men who are typically less sheltered in adulthood), they see that there are happy gay people out in the world. They did the right things according to their god, and they are miserable. So they either double down or give up.

As for Dave, I agree that is impossible to know that he is gay. And even if he is, it is only our business because they have chosen to have this public ministry of hate. 

[picklepizzas]

On 1/30/2019 at 1:33 PM, Timetraveler said:

Good channel.

I despise these girls.

Youtube just suggested one of his videos to me where he reads through a post of theirs about christian women overcoming "SSA" ("same sex attraction" ?) line by line and rips it to shreds. Loved the commentary (was thrown off by his video editing tho - holy quick cuts, batman!).  I knew I had seen a thread on them before and was wondering if one of them was gay, bc the blog post he dissected was incredibly thorough and long and it seems like a lot of effort to go to unless it's an issue close to your heart.  Interesting to see the speculation here that one of them is married to a gay guy... i guess that could explain why they're so interested in this subject. 

[CatholicLite]

Btw, this week's video they will be talking about sexual assault, b/c apparently last week when they answered their Q and A, they had a question that mentioned sexual assault, but they glossed over it. They sent out a short video apologizing. I'm sure they got a lot of hate. Apparently they will be deleting that Q and A. Here is the short response:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lziaWn5Lclo

I'm sure their next video will be an interesting one.

[Pecansforeveryone]

Wow, are they really that cowardly that they just delete hard questions?! These two are creeping up my list of most annoying/infuriating funded. 

[CatholicLite]

Here's the video: (it's not bad, i actually agreed with them) 

Spoiler