Tedious, Complicated, and Particular: Erika Shupe, Part 8

[mango_fandango]

7 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

They went to the West Coast Conference in the Seattle area. Erika linked to the National Conference which took place a few months ago instead of the West Coast one which was June 3-4. I checked because going all the way to Florida didn't sound like them.

Ohhhhh. I thought Florida sounded too far for them. If it was only Seattle they went to that makes a lot more sense. 

[IrishCarrie]

I think any change in routine at all would throw Erika a loop - the real question is why she took the radical and unprecedented decision to bring them to the park in the first place...

My money's on her being stuck at home with the little buggers and no sister-slaves to mind them and deciding that anything had to be better than another minute in that house. Welcome to motherhood, Erika!!!

[feministxtian]

I loved spending time with my kids. It was occasionally messy, not fun, nerve-wracking and insane, but I loved it! Erika doesn't seem to enjoy her children. How sad.

[Hisey]

Now that my kids are teens, I would love a day in the park, but they have better things to do! Erika needs to stop bitching.

I think "Bit off more than I can chew" actually means:

two of the kids got dirty and will now need a bath before their scheduled time,

Lacy had to go to the bathroom so I had to leave the other kids alone for two minutes,

a possibly non-Christian child played with my boys,

the kids were introduced to "lava monster" which I consider inappropriate, 

the kids cones were "small" when I actually ordered "kid-size",

. . . and other Erika-type disasters.

[mango_fandango]

41 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Now that my kids are teens, I would love a day in the park, but they have better things to do! Erika needs to stop bitching.

I think "Bit off more than I can chew" actually means:

two of the kids got dirty and will now need a bath before their scheduled time,

Lacy had to go to the bathroom so I had to leave the other kids alone for two minutes,

a possibly non-Christian child played with my boys,

the kids were introduced to "lava monster" which I consider inappropriate, 

the kids cones were "small" when I actually ordered "kid-size",

. . . and other Erika-type disasters.

Erika said this in reply to someone:

 For me the key is in choosing carefully where we go, so that I can be successful and relaxed (not stressed and frustrated). And the time of day that we go there.

For parks we usually go to elementary school playgrounds after hours! Usually no one else there, so I don't have to work so hard to keep track of the children. And almost always there is an adjacent nice big field where we can also bring our balls and Frisbees to play with. If there are too many people at a park we choose somewhere else - ends up being best for the children and for me. Even if you just have a nice big field somewhere, the opportunity for children to run and run full steam, and throw things hard (fristies, footballs, baseballs, wiffle balls...) that is one of our children's favorite things

So that takes care of the potential meeting between a non-Christian and a Shupe. 

Riley is nine years old. Does Erika really not trust him to look after/keep an eye on the other kids? I'm not saying Erika needs to totally check out (something she'd never do) but he can keep tabs on the others and report to Erika if something serious happens. I honestly think that they are so used to being confined in the Hamster Cage of Horrors with limited activity time that going to a playground freaks Erika out. I also think that they go out-of-hours so that they don't mix with other children. She can't even trust HER OWN CHILDREN to manage inter-personal relationships, there is no way she'd allow them to mix with strangers' kids, and that's before we consider the whole religion thing. How on Earth she thinks her kids are going to get spouses I have NO idea. Wonder if Karen will spot some guy she likes at the conference? She'll be 18 in two months. Finding a potential spouse for Karen, and very soon Melanie, has got to be on Erika's mind.

[AuLait]

Ok, I have 4 kids (5-12) and last year I took (they would say forced) them on a 2 mile hike. They are well old enough to be responsible for themselves, to walk 2 miles without a problem, etc. and yet it was TERRIBLE, lol. Like, they complained the whole way. They didn't like the snacks I brought, it was too hot, they wanted soda instead of water, its too steep!, are we there yet? At the end I was totally frazzled and was like, "Never again!". But of course I will I guess I kind of relate to taking a passel of kids somewhere and all the related stuff that happens. While we saw happy pictures, who knows how much whining actually happened. Playgrounds should be easy. My kids are essentially on their own and every few minutes I just do a visual check but I know a TON of parents who hover over their freaking pre-teens even. If you are going to handle it like that, yeah, playgrounds are gonna suck for you when you have more than one kid.

[Hisey]

26 minutes ago, AuLait said:

Ok, I have 4 kids (5-12) and last year I took (they would say forced) them on a 2 mile hike. They are well old enough to be responsible for themselves, to walk 2 miles without a problem, etc. and yet it was TERRIBLE, lol. Like, they complained the whole way. They didn't like the snacks I brought, it was too hot, they wanted soda instead of water, its too steep!, are we there yet? At the end I was totally frazzled and was like, "Never again!". But of course I will I guess I kind of relate to taking a passel of kids somewhere and all the related stuff that happens. While we saw happy pictures, who knows how much whining actually happened. Playgrounds should be easy. My kids are essentially on their own and every few minutes I just do a visual check but I know a TON of parents who hover over their freaking pre-teens even. If you are going to handle it like that, yeah, playgrounds are gonna suck for you when you have more than one kid.

Been there. The secret to hikes with kids is this: bring a friend. In your case, bring a couple of friends. Inexplicably, with another non-family chld along, the hike becomes fun.

[refugee]

7 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

With Teri I kind of get it, since clinical depression can make everyday tasks incredibly difficult, but Erika, the other Maxwell cultists, the Duggars, and Sierra do not have that excuse.

Maybe being a SAHM can induce clinical depression. Just a guess. Or would it be called something like situational depression?

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, refugee said:

Maybe being a SAHM can induce clinical depression. Just a guess. Or would it be called something like situational depression?

I wouldn't make such a blanket statement, since plenty of SAHMs don't suffer from a serious mental illness, but I don't see it being out of the realm of possibility that many fundie women have undiagnosed postpartum depression or other mental health issues that go undiagnosed or untreated/insufficiently treated because you're supposed to be perfectly happy all the time or else Satan has taken hold of you.

[refugee]

40 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I wouldn't make such a blanket statement, since plenty of SAHMs don't suffer from a serious mental illness, but I don't see it being out of the realm of possibility that many fundie women have undiagnosed postpartum depression or other mental health issues that go undiagnosed or untreated/insufficiently treated because you're supposed to be perfectly happy all the time or else Satan has taken hold of you.

You're right. I probably should have said "fundie SAHM" -- and even then, I was trying not to make it a blanket statement, by using the phrase "can induce" instead of simply saying "causes". Thanks for not jumping all over me, though. I really was trying to tread lightly. Even though we deal with several variations on mental illness in our own family, I don't know how to write about it here in a PC manner that doesn't tick somebody off. At least, it feels that way.

[feministxtian]

When I lived in BFE Indiana, there was an elementary school on the corner (they didn't go to school there, I was homeschooling), however, every kid in the neighborhood would go play there after school and on weekends. The older 2 who were probably 9 & 7 at the time were allowed to walk down there on their own and I'd take the younger three...my method of watching the kids was to kick back under a tree with a book and occasionally find and count heads. They knew that when mommy stood up and started calling names it was time to go home. I mean...yes, there were 5 of them and if the oldest was 9, that meant the baby wa 2-ish. No, I wouldn't let him go w/o me, but he could run free...his big sisters hovered over him. Yes, there were other kids there but so what!?! 

Erika has some serious issues...her need for utter control is what worries me the most. 

[ChairmanMeow]

21 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I always find it oddly sad/hilarious (sadlarious?) that fundies who go on and on about what awesome homemakers they are can barely handle simple tasks and activities like going to the park, completing a DIY project, cooking a meal, or going for a walk, or if they do accomplish those things, they write about them like they solo-climbed Mt. Everest. With Teri I kind of get it, since clinical depression can make everyday tasks incredibly difficult, but Erika, the other Maxwell cultists, the Duggars, and Sierra do not have that excuse.

Hell I can do all these and I'm physically disabled!

I feel like Erika dislikes being a mum and grits her teeth spending time with the kids. How else can you explain so much complaining?

[Foudeb]

That says a lot about how much work the older kids (probably Karen and Melanie) do the rest of the time, if she gets that overwhelmed when left to her own devices.

I hope said sister-moms had a nice time away from home, a good whiff of freedom, and will be able to escape soon.

[AuLait]

18 hours ago, Hisey said:

Been there. The secret to hikes with kids is this: bring a friend. In your case, bring a couple of friends. Inexplicably, with another non-family chld along, the hike becomes fun.

Good advice, I'm taking it! I would gladly supervise 8 happy kids than 4 cranky ones

[crawfishgirl]

Quote

For parks we usually go to elementary school playgrounds after hours! Usually no one else there, so I don't have to work so hard to keep track of the children.

I know that comments have been made about her doing this to avoid other kids, but it's just common sense.  She wouldn't be allowed to be there during school hours.  Schools are very security-conscious.  If she tried it while school kids were at recess or PE, the school would go into lockdown and call security or the police to have her escorted off the playground.  At my daughter's elementary school, I have to be allowed through two sets of limited-access doors to get anywhere near the kids, and they have 'intruder in building' drills.  

[mango_fandango]

1 hour ago, crawfishgirl said:

I know that comments have been made about her doing this to avoid other kids, but it's just common sense.  She wouldn't be allowed to be there during school hours.  Schools are very security-conscious.  If she tried it while school kids were at recess or PE, the school would go into lockdown and call security or the police to have her escorted off the playground.  At my daughter's elementary school, I have to be allowed through two sets of limited-access doors to get anywhere near the kids, and they have 'intruder in building' drills.  

In Britain no one uses school playgrounds out of hours. They're all locked up and you'd have to climb a fence to get to them. There are plenty of public playgrounds. But we all know Erika wouldn't dare go to one.

[princessmahina]

I have to laugh at Erika thinking she only shows the good side of their life. If underfed, depressed looking children are the "good part," then I would shudder to see the reality of Shupe-land. 

[alexandracabot]

3 hours ago, crawfishgirl said:

I know that comments have been made about her doing this to avoid other kids, but it's just common sense.  She wouldn't be allowed to be there during school hours.  Schools are very security-conscious.  If she tried it while school kids were at recess or PE, the school would go into lockdown and call security or the police to have her escorted off the playground.  At my daughter's elementary school, I have to be allowed through two sets of limited-access doors to get anywhere near the kids, and they have 'intruder in building' drills.  

This isn't true everywhere and thus are not necessarily obvious. Where I grew up, public schools' playgrounds were for public use (usually attached to public parks with playing fields, etc) and were open for anyone to use at all hours, including during the school day. 

[usedbicycle]

Phew I just got home from chaperoning my daughter's 2nd grade class at the zoo. I don't know how their teacher does it, but all 28 kids listened to her, generally behaved, and had fun. The 2 other parents and I just kind of stood on the sidelines because their teacher had it all under control. The final hour they had water play on some kind of play structure, the teacher set some rules and consequences, and then we just let them be and hung out and chatted. 

It makes me mad that Erika brags she used to be a teacher. I can't imagine her for a second in a classroom, she would be instantly overwhelmed. She can't even handle her own 5 kids by herself at a park (and we're not talking toddlers, her kids are all old enough to understand  rules). This means they're either extremely misbehaved, or she's a complete control freak. I think that question answers itself... 

 

 

[princessmahina]

7 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Phew I just got home from chaperoning my daughter's 2nd grade class at the zoo. I don't know how their teacher does it, but all 28 kids listened to her, generally behaved, and had fun. The 2 other parents and I just kind of stood on the sidelines because their teacher had it all under control. The final hour they had water play on some kind of play structure, the teacher set some rules and consequences, and then we just let them be and hung out and chatted. 

It makes me mad that Erika brags she used to be a teacher. I can't imagine her for a second in a classroom, she would be instantly overwhelmed. She can't even handle her own 5 kids by herself at a park (and we're not talking toddlers, her kids are all old enough to understand  rules). This means they're either extremely misbehaved, or she's a complete control freak. I think that question answers itself... 

 

 

Erika in a classroom would be hilarious. She'd run screaming after five minutes after realizing she couldn't stick each child on a towel, beat them, or underfeed them. 

I don't remember whether or not she actually taught in a classroom other than student teaching. I remember that she has a degree in it and met Bob at a Christian summer camp (the summer after graduation?) where they were both leaders. 

[elliha]

9 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Phew I just got home from chaperoning my daughter's 2nd grade class at the zoo. I don't know how their teacher does it, but all 28 kids listened to her, generally behaved, and had fun. The 2 other parents and I just kind of stood on the sidelines because their teacher had it all under control. The final hour they had water play on some kind of play structure, the teacher set some rules and consequences, and then we just let them be and hung out and chatted. 

It makes me mad that Erika brags she used to be a teacher. I can't imagine her for a second in a classroom, she would be instantly overwhelmed. She can't even handle her own 5 kids by herself at a park (and we're not talking toddlers, her kids are all old enough to understand  rules). This means they're either extremely misbehaved, or she's a complete control freak. I think that question answers itself... 

 

 

The strange thing is that it is often easier with other people's kids. I am a high school/adult education teacher but I have worked both in preschools and schools for younger kids and it is relatively easy to keep track of 25 students the majority of the time but I find one kid hard as a parent. Your own kids know your strengths and weaknesses much better and they can use your feelings to manipulate you much more easily. That said, a mother of 9 shouldn't find taking care of 5 kids this hard. It's like I have said before, she has used avoidance as a strategy most of the time and because of that she isn't very well prepared.

[nastyhobbitses]

16 hours ago, alexandracabot said:

This isn't true everywhere and thus are not necessarily obvious. Where I grew up, public schools' playgrounds were for public use (usually attached to public parks with playing fields, etc) and were open for anyone to use at all hours, including during the school day. 

I think that's how it used to be at my old elementary school; at the very least, on weekends or holidays, you'd sometimes see kids on the playground or my dad would take me to the school parking lot to learn how to ride a bike (and later, how to drive). But after the Sandy Hook shooting, I think they've upped security quite a lot and are a lot more hesitant to allow non-students/authorized people on school grounds. Even long before that, though, I remember we had to do intruder drills (which I think started in response to Columbine).

[December]

7 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

But after the Sandy Hook shooting, I think they've upped security quite a lot and are a lot more hesitant to allow non-students/authorized people on school grounds. Even long before that, though, I remember we had to do intruder drills (which I think started in response to Columbine).

Even before Sandy Hook some schools were adding more security. At least in places I lived, it seemed to be more out of a fear of a non-approved person picking up the child (non-custodial parent, stranger, etc.). Many schools now mandate that classroom doors are locked at all times, too, which is obviously more a response to school shootings. 

On 6/6/2016 at 9:25 AM, princessmahina said:

I have to laugh at Erika thinking she only shows the good side of their life. If underfed, depressed looking children are the "good part," then I would shudder to see the reality of Shupe-land. 

Not to mention, most of what she posts is just how to regiment every second of your kids' lives. Is that really the "good part" of life? Is there nothing else she's prouder or happier about? 

[mango_fandango]

Another repost about budgeting. Nothing we didn't already know, really. 

*snore*

[princessmahina]

Erika shared an article about the Stanford rape case. It was...not bad? I mean, there was some fundie stuff about women being "of man's rib" and so on, but the author really emphasized how men need to be responsible for their actions and that alcohol isn't an excuse. I was surprised there wasn't a lot of blatant victim shaming tbh.