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Tedious, Complicated, and Particular: Erika Shupe, Part 8


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4 hours ago, IronicallyMaeve said:

 

"When our boys' night time Pull-Ups leak, they're then sleeping in wet pj's for hours until morning.  This has resulted in really stinky pj's, even after they've been washed!"

 

Ummm...then she's doing something wrong. I could get the urine smell out of my mother's clothes (long story) in one wash. 

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Even my hard sleepers woke up if they peed through their clothes at night, especially once they were older than about a year. I find it odd kids would sleep for hours in soaked pj's. 

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51 minutes ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Even my hard sleepers woke up if they peed through their clothes at night, especially once they were older than about a year. I find it odd kids would sleep for hours in soaked pj's. 

Sleep training and not being allowed to wake a grown up in the night, means they have no choice. :naughty:

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5 hours ago, imokit said:

Sleep training and not being allowed to wake a grown up in the night, means they have no choice. :naughty:

You're right. That's sick! These kids would probably be too scared to wake their parents up even if the house was on fire.

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My daughter peed in her pants at day care and the bag with the wet clothes ended up on a window sill instead of on her shelf for some reason and they found it 4 days later (I don't blame them, all the normal places were searched and this bag was behind a curtain). The pants smelled horribly but just one run in the washer got the smell out of them without any problems. I had some vinegar in the compartment for fabric softener which I do sometimes if the clothes are smelly but it really wasn't that hard. If something was washed within a couple of hours I really don't get how it could not be clean by just a normal run in the washing machine. 

Also, if the pull-ups are constantly leaking I would see a specialist for the kid to either be able to see why the child is peeing in bed and if it is just due to immaturity I would ask to have pull-ups prescribed that are in the right size, they are made in adult size as well so it should not be impossible. (I have worked in caring for the elderly and pull-ups are pretty popular especially among men with incontinence, women tended to prefer the type that looks like giant sanitary pads at least where I worked)

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My 4 year old is in pull-ups still at night, but he doesn't really leak. The few times he does leak, it's because they weren't pulled on properly. And he always wakes up upset and comes get us. He does not like being wet. 

If several of her boys are having this issue, something is really wrong. 

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Oh Lord.

Erika's posted a selfie on Facebook with the caption "Hello friends."

Gah.

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I wonder if she whitens her teeth. I can see how she wouldn't want to brag about it in her "prettying up mom" post. 

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On 5/27/2016 at 0:28 PM, FundieFarmer said:

I was conflicted...I couldn't tell if maybe some here were into that?? I don't even know. It is...odd. So many people quote her normal quotes on FB and all I can think about is those two quotes and it makes me >> :| 

I kind of don't want to admit this, in this context, but I actually do like Ann Voskamp. In general. With the exception of that one chapter in One Thousand Gifts. How I look at that chapter is.... I don't know... she'd been so bound up by emotion all her life and now she felt free and it was orgasmic. It's definitely weird.

But her book was actually life-changing for me. When I waded through her weird syntax and (to my ears) her overly poetic way of describing events and emotions, I found a very solid, encouraging, uplifting story of a girl scarred by the death of her little sister, growing up into a scared, emotionally stunted woman constantly on the brink of a breakdown (and with a mother who actually did break down), finally finding peace - and God - through the understanding that thankfulness is a moment by moment choice. The life-changing part, for me, was the concept of stopping to notice the small gifts, in the moment, and that this practice shows us the heart of God.

I'm not describing it very well. But I actually started my own list. And it does make a difference, for me. I'm more mindful and more joyful.

So, feel free to snark away at her. It doesn't bother me personally. And that chapter deserves it. But I did want to speak up for us closet Ann Voskamp lovers.

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I'm just gonna throw this out there FWIW:  Dehydration makes for really stinky ammonia-like urine.

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No joke, right now the banner ad on top of this thread is for a Pampers product called Under Jams, which touts "night lock" extra protection. It looks like the product is meant for older children; the pants look akin to pull-ups.

They are offering a free digital book to help--and the bolding is theirs--"CONQUER BED WETTING!".

It's pretty pathetic when an automatic ad algorithm appears to have more self awareness than Erika.

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@Season of life...,  Under Jams have been around a few years and they are, indeed, Pull-ups for older kids that still aren't dry at night.  I wish they had them about 25 years ago when I had a bed-wetter.  She's have to have a bath every morning before school.  

PS: I have the same ad!

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The laundry issue is a whole different issue, but I do want to say that having older kids who sleep through wetting pull-ups is not necessarily a sign of bad parenting.

My two will sleep through anything. When we lived in an apartment, Big slept through a building fire alarm going off right above her head, has fallen out of bed and kept on sleeping in a pile of blankets on the floor, and just got back from Guider Camp this weekend where she apparently slept (in a tent) right through a massive thunderstorm overhead.

She also had a small bladder and wasn't consistently dry at nights until she was about seven. Everything physical checked out, she was certainly never forbidden from coming to get us (still crawls in with us occasionally if she has a bad dream), and our GP's attitude was 'some kids take longer to grow out of it than others'. 

Little appears to be following in her exact footsteps, not waking up until he's good and ready even when someone sits on the edge of the bed and talks directly to him... and has never once woken up because he was wet. And sometimes even the best brands of pull-ups will still leak, especially with a kid who moves a lot / sleepwalks / undresses themselves in their sleep.  (oh yeah. that one's fun. We do a lot of laundry.) 

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New recipe repost: zucchini alfredo. The recipe uses 1.5 packets of egg noodles, packets are 12 oz each apparently. So 18 oz total. If we're taking roughly 2oz dried per person, that works out at about 9 servings, and they get a little less than that. Trying to work out if this is better or worse than the honey garlic angel hair pasta thing.

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1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

New recipe repost: zucchini alfredo. The recipe uses 1.5 packets of egg noodles, packets are 12 oz each apparently. So 18 oz total. If we're taking roughly 2oz dried per person, that works out at about 9 servings, and they get a little less than that. Trying to work out if this is better or worse than the honey garlic angel hair pasta thing.

They at least are getting a vegetable?

That's all I got. 

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16 hours ago, Season of life... said:

No joke, right now the banner ad on top of this thread is for a Pampers product called Under Jams, which touts "night lock" extra protection. It looks like the product is meant for older children; the pants look akin to pull-ups.

They are offering a free digital book to help--and the bolding is theirs--"CONQUER BED WETTING!".

It's pretty pathetic when an automatic ad algorithm appears to have more self awareness than Erika.

My finches have more self-awareness than Erika.

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3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

New recipe repost: zucchini alfredo. The recipe uses 1.5 packets of egg noodles, packets are 12 oz each apparently. So 18 oz total. If we're taking roughly 2oz dried per person, that works out at about 9 servings, and they get a little less than that. Trying to work out if this is better or worse than the honey garlic angel hair pasta thing.

It's still not enough...hubs and I could chow down on one 12 oz package with chicken and veggies included. You know Bob and Erika get a whole lot more than a 2oz serving each.

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This food restriction thing is going to blow up in her face (and, sadly, in her kids' faces) when they eventually get some more autonomy (like as 70-year-olds.) I grew up with far less restriction than they, but as soon as I had a little money of my own, I would spend it at fast food restaurants, secretly bingeing when I didn't need to share. It has, of course, been part of a really unhealthy relationship with food, and it's taken me nearly a full decade after leaving home to even recognize that and take steps to work against my ingrained habits. I still hate sharing food when I'm out with friends, and I'm always worried about getting "enough" or "my share."

There are lots of damaging things Erika is doing to her kids, of course, but this one strikes home hard for me.

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7 hours ago, Toaster said:

This food restriction thing is going to blow up in her face (and, sadly, in her kids' faces) when they eventually get some more autonomy (like as 70-year-olds.) I grew up with far less restriction than they, but as soon as I had a little money of my own, I would spend it at fast food restaurants, secretly bingeing when I didn't need to share. It has, of course, been part of a really unhealthy relationship with food, and it's taken me nearly a full decade after leaving home to even recognize that and take steps to work against my ingrained habits. I still hate sharing food when I'm out with friends, and I'm always worried about getting "enough" or "my share."

There are lots of damaging things Erika is doing to her kids, of course, but this one strikes home hard for me.

It hits home for me too.  I frequently hid food in my evil heathen public school locker for fear of it being taken away from me.  (I grew up in the 'fat is evil' 80s and 90s and only had access to the 'diet' versions of food at home.   As I got older, my (car) truk became a new hiding place for food.  My first boyfriend asked me why I had food hidden under my (dorm) bed.  To this day, my dad still hides food in his car.

This year, after Easter I went nuts at half price candy.  My stash was hidden in my underwear drawer.  

I am still like a guard dog with my food.  Nothing drives me crazier than when I order a dessert at a restaurant and the server assumes it is to be shared with the table. 

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Erika is pretty damn self-unaware about the "success" she's had in toilet-training her kids. The average parents I know have had far greater success, without bragging about it.

And those whose kids had problems or took longer didn't pretend to be "experts" the way Erika does.

When I was 2, we were getting ready to move into a house with a PINK TOILET, and my mom just told me I'd have to get my act together in order to use it.

We bribed my daughter with the promise of Wonder Woman Underoos. Once she had achieved her coveted goal, she would go batty if I chanced to drive our shopping cart down the diapers aisle: "I don't want 'em! I don't like 'em! I don't need 'em!" 

Me, wearily: "I know."

Kid: "SO DON'T BUY 'EM!"

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22 hours ago, Toaster said:

This food restriction thing is going to blow up in her face (and, sadly, in her kids' faces) when they eventually get some more autonomy (like as 70-year-olds.) I grew up with far less restriction than they, but as soon as I had a little money of my own, I would spend it at fast food restaurants, secretly bingeing when I didn't need to share. It has, of course, been part of a really unhealthy relationship with food, and it's taken me nearly a full decade after leaving home to even recognize that and take steps to work against my ingrained habits. I still hate sharing food when I'm out with friends, and I'm always worried about getting "enough" or "my share."

There are lots of damaging things Erika is doing to her kids, of course, but this one strikes home hard for me.

Gyms frequently have snack bars and such. I can see Karen taking full advantage of it- that is, if Erika allows her access to her own wages. 

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13 hours ago, Hane said:

Erika is pretty damn self-unaware about the "success" she's had in toilet-training her kids. The average parents I know have had far greater success, without bragging about it.

And those whose kids had problems or took longer didn't pretend to be "experts" the way Erika does.

When I was 2, we were getting ready to move into a house with a PINK TOILET, and my mom just told me I'd have to get my act together in order to use it.

We bribed my daughter with the promise of Wonder Woman Underoos. Once she had achieved her coveted goal, she would go batty if I chanced to drive our shopping cart down the diapers aisle: "I don't want 'em! I don't like 'em! I don't need 'em!" 

Me, wearily: "I know."

Kid: "SO DON'T BUY 'EM!"

I know! Erika seems to think her toilet training was a big success, while to me, she spent an extraordinary amount of time, effort and even money (all those special snacks) with really limited results.

It seems like her boys were *actually* toilet-trained quite late--she mentions one still in diapers at 4.5. What happened to his magical all-in-one-day training at age 2? And the latest post seems to indicate she had boys in pullups as late as 6 or 7 (it's hard to tell, though, since it's an older post).

Erika, honey, toilet training does involve some loss of control for the parent. That's why it's so hard for people like you. Just resign yourself to the fact that they will pee on the carpet a few times while they are learning. It's just baby pee. Deal with it. Jeez, I have two old dogs here whose mission it is to destroy my carpet, baby pee is nothing.

I think it was Erika's goal to have a fully-trained little human by the end of one day. Thankfully, her kids have enough spunk to fight for some control, even if it's only of their bladder. I think that's the reason behind her failed toilet training methods--the kids want to learn it on their own timeline.

Erika needs to realize that using the toilet is a new skill that involves lots of steps. Could she learn a new skill like that in one afternoon? If she were two years old? It takes time to learn those signals, get the self-discipline to leave your toys and run to the bathroom, figure out how to unsnap your pants, get over any fear of the toilet sucking you in, etc etc.

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I think there was a story behind the kid still in diapers at 4.5. Erika briefly mentioned that he originally took to the method, then abandoned it for some reason (Erika just goes 'long story') then a while ago she posted on FB that whoever it was (I think Tyler) had finally embraced potty training and they were at Just Peachy the frozen yoghurt place to celebrate.

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@Hane, it was Lion King panties with my youngest.  I knew my daughter was ready; she just got distracted by the magazines near the toilet.  I bought her Lion King undies since she wouldn't want to pee on Simba and Nala.  Hey. it worked!

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15 hours ago, Hane said:

We bribed my daughter with the promise of Wonder Woman Underoos. Once she had achieved her coveted goal, she would go batty if I chanced to drive our shopping cart down the diapers aisle: "I don't want 'em! I don't like 'em! I don't need 'em!" 

My parents did a similar thing with me... they bought me underpants with my favorite character on them, and I was so afraid of ruining them I was potty trained perfectly within a week! They didn't think they were geniuses for doing this... they simply realized giving their kid a real incentive to achieve the goal would be more helpful to everyone involved than trying to micromanage me. 

Then there's this bit from the laundry post: 

Quote

I try to get the stain treated while it’s still wet:  blood, red sauce, butter – I strip the clothing item off of that person (modestly of course *wink*), or at least as soon as the meal is over, and treat it right then and it’s okay.

I'm really disturbed by the mentality that a young child, who's so little they aren't even the ones dressing/undressing themselves, needs to worry about modesty at all -- much less in their own home, surrounded by family members. 

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