Jill & Jessa Counting On, Regular Season 1 - Part 2

[Buzzard]

2 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

How is Ben getting away w/this?! Jessa must have told him that ANY kind of rhythmic anything is VERBOTIN

in the Duggar world.

Thats a good point.  You cant stand stick straight and rap... how can he be a proper rapper without "dancing?"

[EmCatlyn]

2 hours ago, foreign fundie said:

That is a good point. Though I think the bigger difference is the fact that Pride and Prejudice is in essence one big snark fest on the morals of the upper class British society of her days. It is merciless in its criticisms of the limited options for women, the silliness of the spoiled rich women who just sat around and gossiped, religious hypocricy, and general shallowness of people's persuits. Even Jane, the saintly elder sister gets exposed for being guillable. (She does remind me of Jana in the way she takes over from her silly and nervous mum, looks after her little cousins while Lizzie holidays with her aunt and is in charge of the mail!)

It is not the limitedness of the characters that makes 'counting on' boring. But the format TLC chooses which prohibits critical reflection on their life style. Or maybe I should say, the format JB demands, where the show is all about how wonderful his family is. He would not allow TLC to picture his family in the realistic way Jane Austin painted her characters.

So we have characters that have limited individuality to begin with, that are only allowed to say what is expected of them in a show where critical questions are not allowed. It is not the boringness of their lives that is the problem (Austin's characters lives were far more boring) but the demand that their boringness is held up as an ideal, rather than being ridiculed or rigerously criticised.

But that's what fj is for. Making the Duggars interesting like Austin did with the Bennet girls.

Jane AUSTEN (Austin is a city in Texas) was a great caricaturist.  Her "boring" characters are more interesting than the Duggars because they represent types but at the same time have clearly developed personalities.  As we have mentioned before, the poor Duggar kids belong to a cult that tries to rub out their personalities and make them all interchangeable.

I don't agree that the lives of the Bennets were more boring than the lives of the Duggars, but I think that is because I am thinking of what sort of "inner lives" the Austen characters as opposed to the real Duggars are shown to have.  People who can read, in my opinion, never need to be bored or boring.  And the Bennet young women have the opportunity to dance and to socialize with the opposite sex more freely than the Duggar girls.

You are right that the fictional Bennets lead a limited life, but I maintain that if Austen had had to write about the Duggars we know (instead of inventing her own Duggars) she would have had difficulty making their lives interesting and might have been forced (as TLC has been) to send them on trips around the world.  

[Analytica49]

On 2016-03-24 at 7:57 AM, Rescinded and Mended said:

I keep wondering why Jessa feels the need to bring up a possible adoption on a regular basis. At first, I thought she was just saying it to shut people up because she hadn't gotten pregnant yet, but now she's done it. She's successfully reproduced. And there's no reason at this point to think that more blessings won't come to her and Ben in the future. 

If Jessa's even half as irritable with her husband, siblings, and everyone in general as everyone here has claimed, based on last night's episode, then why would she want to add more people to her household in a hurry?

I agree. And I am also baffled as to why any agency would permit Jessa and Bin to adopt.

• They are very young.
• Even when the Spurge is 9 months old (which is when, they claim, they would be eligible to start the adoption process), they will not have very much experience as parents. (I don't count Jessa's supposed experience as a sister-mom, and I don't think an agency should either.)
• They would be adopting, in part, to bring a story-line to a reality tv show. That's a horrible motive for a parent.
• Aside from acting for reality tv, they do little or no work and show no evidence of being able to put a lot of effort into making things go well. (They don't even cook or clean their own tiny house.)

[quiverofdoubt]

1 hour ago, JesSky03 said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you not supposed to let your baby sleep in the car seat once you are out of the car?

At the risk of bringing up mommy wars/carseat wars, yes, you are right. I think this is a relatively new thing, less than 4 years ago no one was talking about it, and people would even leave baby in the carseat overnight and say "whatever works to get sleep".  then a few babies died while sleeping in a carseat outside of the car, and it's a no no now.  The infant bucket seat is designed to be at a very specific recline setting- one you get when properly installed in the car or stroller. But that recline can be lost when on a flat surface.  So their heads loll forward and cut off their airways, and a few infants have suffocated to death that way.

It's a good idea in general to not have them spending a lot of time in the seat, if you can help it. I have to drive a lot, so whenever possible i have the kids out of the seat to minimize seat time.  The car seat is great in the car, and keeps them safe. But can baby's need time out of it where they aren't fully supported and can practice holding their head up and moving freely etc.  But really, the breathing issue is the significant one.

[ClaraOswin]

1 hour ago, JesSky03 said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you not supposed to let your baby sleep in the car seat once you are out of the car?

Yes, QoD explained it all nicely above.

But I think it's probably not a huge deal if the baby is literally on the chair next to you in a restaurant. Some restaurants even have little stands to put car seats in while you eat. (We never used one. Never took our screaming child to restaurants when he was that young.)

[Antimony]

1 hour ago, Analytica49 said:

I agree. And I am also baffled as to why any agency would permit Jessa and Bin to adopt.

• They are very young.
• Even when the Spurge is 9 months old (which is when, they claim, they would be eligible to start the adoption process), they will not have very much experience as parents. (I don't count Jessa's supposed experience as a sister-mom, and I don't think an agency should either.)
• They would be adopting, in part, to bring a story-line to a reality tv show. That's a horrible motive for a parent.
• Aside from acting for reality tv, they do little or no work and show no evidence of being able to put a lot of effort into making things go well. (They don't even cook or clean their own tiny house.)

I'm not sure parenting experience is a concern any agency would (or, should) have. Many adoptive parents would be first time parents, and like all first time parents, start off with zero parenting experience (which, while I don't have children, I expect is a lot different than experiences working with chidlren, etc.)

The biggest concern I can see is an agency may not want the child filmed or otherwise promoted at least until after the adoption is finalized. It is my understanding, at least, that with some Foster children (depending on circumstances) parents are not allowed to post photos on Facebook, online, etc of their fostered children. The TV filming aspect is the biggest one to me. I can however, see them trying to time it such that they finalized while the filming season is over and coming back next season and being like LOOK WHO WE ADOPTED!!!!

(I know adopting and fostering-to-adopt have different rules. Also, if they have an open adoption I believe the birth parents could request that images not be shared or try to strike a contract to that effect. Whether or not that would be legal or effective, I don't know, but it seems like a thought they might have if they did open.)

[Antimony]

18 hours ago, Buzzard said:

He's a RAPPER, why cant you understand that??? His hat is backwards and sideways because he's famous, and a trendsetter, and AWESOME.  He's like vanilla ice, but cooler and hipper.  Damnit, we need to come up with a rapper name for Bin.

Razorpraizer?

 

I have to confess.

My brother dresses like Ben. Exactly like Ben. My brother is nearing 30 and has now 4 children. It drives me up the friggin' wall because every time I look at photos of him with his newest baby (less than a month) I feel as if somebody has just handed an infant to a dirty frat boy. I get the same feeling from Ben.

[Denim Jumper]

26 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

Yes, QoD explained it all nicely above.

But I think it's probably not a huge deal if the baby is literally on the chair next to you in a restaurant. Some restaurants even have little stands to put car seats in while you eat. (We never used one. Never took our screaming child to restaurants when he was that young.)

Yikes, I had no idea about the car seat danger! Luckily, mine really didn't spend much time in their car seats unless we were actually out and about. 

Speaking of restaurants, I remember when a waiter flipped over one of the wooden booster seats, which evidently is just the perfect angle to put an infant seat. I was like "Um, are we supposed to take him out and dangle him from it or something? He's only a month old." We must have looked like complete lunatics, because he actually had to explain this to us, and we're all "Wow, cool!" like he had split an atom right there at our table. Noobs.

[CoveredInBees]

28 minutes ago, Antimony said:

I'm not sure parenting experience is a concern any agency would (or, should) have. Many adoptive parents would be first time parents, and like all first time parents, start off with zero parenting experience (which, while I don't have children, I expect is a lot different than experiences working with chidlren, etc.)

The biggest concern I can see is an agency may not want the child filmed or otherwise promoted at least until after the adoption is finalized. It is my understanding, at least, that with some Foster children (depending on circumstances) parents are not allowed to post photos on Facebook, online, etc of their fostered children. The TV filming aspect is the biggest one to me. I can however, see them trying to time it such that they finalized while the filming season is over and coming back next season and being like LOOK WHO WE ADOPTED!!!!

(I know adopting and fostering-to-adopt have different rules. Also, if they have an open adoption I believe the birth parents could request that images not be shared or try to strike a contract to that effect. Whether or not that would be legal or effective, I don't know, but it seems like a thought they might have if they did open.)

There are a couple of examples of adopted kids being featured in TV reality shows (I'm thinking Teen Moms and The Little Couple).

With Teen Mom I think the adoptive parents have now specified that their daughter's face doesn't appear, but pretty much the whole adoption process was filmed and it's only as she started to get recognized that the adoptive parents changed their view on the child's participation in the show.

With The Little Couple, they were on TV before either adoption but both were international cases (I think the fact the parents were both gainfully employed/well educated helped massively - something B-Dog and Jessa cant really claim).

(I think my point here is that I clearly watch too much reality TV)

[anotherone]

18 minutes ago, Denim Jumper said:

Speaking of restaurants, I remember when a waiter flipped over one of the wooden booster seats, which evidently is just the perfect angle to put an infant seat. I was like "Um, are we supposed to take him out and dangle him from it or something? He's only a month old." We must have looked like complete lunatics, because he actually had to explain this to us, and we're all "Wow, cool!" like he had split an atom right there at our table. Noobs.

I remember thinking that was cool too, except sometimes the feet of the flipped over highchair were kind of dirty.  But then what does it really matter, because like we all know, a few years later the kid is eating stale cheerios out from between the back seats of the car   

[Jana814]

4 minutes ago, CoveredInBees said:

There are a couple of examples of adopted kids being featured in TV reality shows (I'm thinking Teen Moms and The Little Couple).

With Teen Mom I think the adoptive parents have now specified that their daughter's face doesn't appear, but pretty much the whole adoption process was filmed and it's only as she started to get recognized that the adoptive parents changed their view on the child's participation in the show.

With The Little Couple, they were on TV before either adoption but both were international cases (I think the fact the parents were both gainfully employed/well educated helped massively - something B-Dog and Jessa cant really claim).

(I think my point here is that I clearly watch too much reality TV)

With The Little Couple though they didn't starting filming them at home till a few weeks after they came home. Even though they film them going to get the kids. 

[ClaraOswin]

37 minutes ago, Denim Jumper said:

Yikes, I had no idea about the car seat danger! Luckily, mine really didn't spend much time in their car seats unless we were actually out and about. 

Speaking of restaurants, I remember when a waiter flipped over one of the wooden booster seats, which evidently is just the perfect angle to put an infant seat. I was like "Um, are we supposed to take him out and dangle him from it or something? He's only a month old." We must have looked like complete lunatics, because he actually had to explain this to us, and we're all "Wow, cool!" like he had split an atom right there at our table. Noobs.

I think it's only a problem when they are young and can't support their own heads...because then they can't lift their head back up if their airway gets cut off.

I have also heard horror stories of people who leave their kid in the car seat when they get home and they unbuckle the straps and the child gets strangled. Pretty sad.

My son pretty much hated his car seat so this was never an issue for us.

I have already read scary stuff about people balancing the car seat on top of the shopping cart in the store. I bet the Duggars do that too.

[MoonFace]

2 hours ago, Analytica49 said:

I agree. And I am also baffled as to why any agency would permit Jessa and Bin to adopt.

• They are very young.
• Even when the Spurge is 9 months old (which is when, they claim, they would be eligible to start the adoption process), they will not have very much experience as parents. (I don't count Jessa's supposed experience as a sister-mom, and I don't think an agency should either.)
• They would be adopting, in part, to bring a story-line to a reality tv show. That's a horrible motive for a parent.
• Aside from acting for reality tv, they do little or no work and show no evidence of being able to put a lot of effort into making things go well. (They don't even cook or clean their own tiny house.)

And don't you have to have a regular means of financial support (other than being on the Daddy Dole)?    

How do they plan to show how they will support the child?    

And by the way, wouldn't you just love to see what they file for taxes? 

 

[Denim Jumper]

Oh my goodness, the infant seat on top of the shopping cart!!! I'm normally not one to butt in to other people's parenting business, but this one I always speak up when I see it. I remember several years ago, seeing a cart flip over with the infant seat attached to it when the person pushing it took a turn too sharp. If it wasn't for a passerby making a nosedive to prevent it from hitting the ground, I can't even imagine how badly the baby might have been hurt. So, ever since then, I'll risk being cursed-out, rather than say nothing.

[quiverofdoubt]

6 minutes ago, Denim Jumper said:

Oh my goodness, the infant seat on top of the shopping cart!!! I'm normally not one to butt in to other people's parenting business, but this one I always speak up when I see it. I remember several years ago, seeing a cart flip over with the infant seat attached to it when the person pushing it took a turn too sharp. If it wasn't for a passerby making a nosedive to prevent it from hitting the ground, I can't even imagine how badly the baby might have been hurt. So, ever since then, I'll risk being cursed-out, rather than say nothing.

My local grocery store has those plastic seat things on top of the cart for the carseats. and even a big sign with "new parents look here" that shows how to put the seat on top of the cart. It irks me every time. I really feel like contacting management- and that's not generally something I do. It's a brand new store, that's supposed to be very high end. I mean, it has a clothing store and bar inside it. They should know better  Yes, it's I guess better than "clicking"i t into the seat, which damages the car seat so it's unsafe in the car.  But the issue is the high center of gravity and tendency for the cart to tip. 

I never did this with my kid. Not sanctimonious. She she was a terrible day time sleeper, and HATED being strapped into her carseat. I baby wore, so she didn't scream the entire shopping trip.

[MoonFace]

Check out this website for adopting in Arkansas.    It seems highly unlikely that they would be considered for a newborn - they are a premium.   https://dhs.arkansas.gov/dcfs/heartgallery/adoption_faq.htm

Can you imagine what a home study with Binessa would be like? 

Oh, we'd like put the kids all in one room according to Jender.   
We have great parenting skills - Jessa has been parenting siblings since she could toddle.   
She'll home school too.  She gadeated from  SOTDRT - with honors!  (she can read at a 6th grade level)
Binwit is a good provider - he works for his father in law.  Doing what?   Well, cleaning toilets and whatever.  Oh and he can RAP!   See - he is qualified because he wears his hat ass backwards!

Jessa can open up containers of yogurt and jars of pickles.   We know the way to her parents house so we can drop over there for meals.  

 

[YourGodIsNotMine]

39 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

Check out this website for adopting in Arkansas.    It seems highly unlikely that they would be considered for a newborn - they are a premium.   https://dhs.arkansas.gov/dcfs/heartgallery/adoption_faq.htm

Can you imagine what a home study with Binessa would be like? 

Oh, we'd like put the kids all in one room according to Jender.  

 

And exactly how would the separate bedrooms by jender work in a two-bedroom house? 

[quiverofdoubt]

6 minutes ago, YourGodIsNotMine said:

And exactly how would the separate bedrooms by jender work in a two-bedroom house? 

New plot line: jessa has her family add an extra bedroom on for the new baaaaabbbby.

[ClaraOswin]

1 hour ago, quiverofdoubt said:

My local grocery store has those plastic seat things on top of the cart for the carseats. and even a big sign with "new parents look here" that shows how to put the seat on top of the cart. It irks me every time. I really feel like contacting management- and that's not generally something I do. It's a brand new store, that's supposed to be very high end. I mean, it has a clothing store and bar inside it. They should know better  Yes, it's I guess better than "clicking"i t into the seat, which damages the car seat so it's unsafe in the car.  But the issue is the high center of gravity and tendency for the cart to tip. 

I never did this with my kid. Not sanctimonious. She she was a terrible day time sleeper, and HATED being strapped into her carseat. I baby wore, so she didn't scream the entire shopping trip.

Shopping with an infant was such a pain in the butt. My husband and I would either take turns shopping alone. Or all three of us would go - one pushing baby in the stroller/travel system and one pushing a cart. It was just easiest this way. If my son had liked being in the Ergo carrier, it probably would have been easier. But he never took to it.

[ClaraOswin]

ETA - I have noticed some carts at Walmart have seats on top. I never looked that closely but I assumed they were to strap your baby into directly. Which seems okay to me. Not much different than putting a kid in there to sit. But maybe they are to strap the entire car seat in? I'll have to look next time we're there.

[quiverofdoubt]

2 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

ETA - I have noticed some carts at Walmart have seats on top. I never looked that closely but I assumed they were to strap your baby into directly. Which seems okay to me. Not much different than putting a kid in there to sit. But maybe they are to strap the entire car seat in? I'll have to look next time we're there.

Both kinds exist. One is a little seat with straps that you can put baby directly into. They always looked a little....hard and uncomfortable and dirty (and i am in no way a germaphobe).  The second is a plain plastic bucket, no straps, that your carseat sits on. the second kind is what my grocery store has.

[ClaraOswin]

Interesting. Now I am wonder which ones Walmart has here. I agree with the ick factor on the first one. I am slightly a germaphobe (and my meds make my immune system crappy) so if I used one I would probably throw a blanket or something over it maybe.

[quiverofdoubt]

http://premiercarts.com/BS_Safe-Dock.html

this kind. Sorry, couldn't get a picture. Still pretty sure unsafe, even if it doesn't destroy your seat.

 

and the carseat ladies take: http://thecarseatlady.com/shoppingcart/

she also includes not putting the carseat on a highchair in the list. 

I've always been a little jealous of parents with babies sitting sedately in their carseat while they ate or shopped. Though my baby was happy to be in the ring sling until she was big enough to sit unassisted. 

[ClaraOswin]

Hmm...that may be what they are.

Of course, none of it matters to me since we're (sadly) likely not having anymore children.

There are the types of things I've seen in restaurants...

Look at this stupid thing....my car seat was so heavy, I can't imagine...

[Bad Wolf]

Well, you have to have your hands free for your phone. Michelle would have liked that, she always has her phone in her hand. Not sure if she had her baby in a car seat, though.