Miss Raquel's Second Novel- Part 2

[salex]

This is just to say

I have read the lines

you posted

as poetry

And which

you were probably

hoping

would lure him back. 

Forgive me

they were amusing

to us

but sad.

 

[AmazonGrace]

19 hours ago, ari_belle said:

I really hate

How Raquel's "poems"

have words like "emoji" and "snapchat" in them

it sounds fucking stupid

To the Raquels of the world:

you are the reason everyone hates

my generation

fuck you

 

 

O how much more doth beauty beauteous seem, 
By that sweet emoji which truth doth bend

The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem 
For that sweet snapchat which we did once send

The instagrams have full as deep a dye 
As the perfumed tincture of the roses, 
Hang on such pics  and play as wantonly 
When screenshotting  their masked buds discloses:
But, for their virtue only is their show, 
They live unwoo'd and unrespected fade, 
Die to themselves. Sweet roses do not so; 
Of their sweet deaths are sweetest blog posts made:
   And so of you, beauteous and lovely youth,
   When that shall fade, my verse distills your truth. 

4 minutes ago, Curious said:

I think it should be

mandatory

that we all type

like this in

Raquel threads.

 

As usual, Raquel's writing

is very confusing!

She talks about the hoodie

but it seems like

the stain is actually

on her shirt.

Does she not

do laundry?

Paint from a week ago?

So many questions!

 

The stain is a metaphor of sin

worldly lust for hot soldiers 

you can't touch the stain

you can't stop the lust 

it's old dirt because

you can't let go of the past 

[Curious]

35 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

 

O how much more doth beauty beauteous seem, 
By that sweet emoji which truth doth bend

The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem 
For that sweet snapchat which we did once send

The instagrams have full as deep a dye 
As the perfumed tincture of the roses, 
Hang on such pics  and play as wantonly 
When screenshotting  their masked buds discloses:
But, for their virtue only is their show, 
They live unwoo'd and unrespected fade, 
Die to themselves. Sweet roses do not so; 
Of their sweet deaths are sweetest blog posts made:
   And so of you, beauteous and lovely youth,
   When that shall fade, my verse distills your truth. 

The stain is a metaphor of sin

worldly lust for hot soldiers 

you can't touch the stain

you can't stop the lust 

it's old dirt because

you can't let go of the past 

I like your

explination

of the stain!

It does seem as

though Raquel has

issues with letting

things go.

Maybe she is smarter

than previously

thought.

[AmazonGrace]

Although she has difficulty

taking a hoodie off 

if she wants to look at

the back

[Georgiana]

 The Hollow Girl (Apologies to Eliot)

 V

    Here we go round the coffee shop
    Coffee shop Coffee shop
    Here we go round the coffee shop
    At ten o'clock in the morning.
    
    Between the snapchat
    And the reality
    Between the status update
    And the blog post
    Falls the bandanna
                                   For Thine is the Kingdom
    
    Between the infatuation
    And the hoodie
    Between the phrases
    And the name
    Falls the bandanna
                                   Life is very long
     
    For Thine is
    Life is
    For Thine is the
    
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a breakup.

[AmazonGrace]

i love this thread

everyone is

a poet

god's daughter 

you are an inspiration 

to us all

[formergothardite]

I once took a class in college

That was ridiculously early on a Saturday morning.

We had to write poetry. 

I'll be honest

My poetry wasn't that great.

But in my defense the professor

Never told us that writing like this could be poetry. 

I'm not sure how he left this style of poetry out.

The Wielder of Words clearly knows a whole lot more than he did. 

[clueliss]

writing

like this

makes my head 

hurt

worse 

than the name

Xaquerie

[Georgiana]

To be very fair

e

  e

    cummings

Quote

Did some wild things with spacing

The

• HEART

of the issue

is not the

i

n

d

e

n

t

s

But the complete lack

of meaningful

• introspection

[OnceUponATime]

My head hurts

I don't know

If it is through

The faults of this thread

Or my throbbing sinuses

Either way

It sucks

I

Feel like shit

And

Weird poetry

Isn't helping because

It needs rhymes!

 

If I'm a poet

I wouldn't know it

I could write all day

Until I go gray

Yet without literary sense

It would all be nonsense

The world would be better off without

Someone so devout

[xRoo]

Y'all

are

killing 

me. 

[Trynn]

A headache this thread gives me

Because out of order words

Are

Poetry

To

(Misspelling intentional.)

[xRoo]

Sometimes I feel like I might be just as snarkable as Raquel, having a weird amount in common with her... I write free-verse poems sometimes, for example.
Then I just go read her short stories, and I feel better

[Peas n carrots]

" "

I title this poem "You Cannot See How Much My Heart Aches For You"

[clueliss]

5 hours ago, xRoo said:

Sometimes I feel like I might be just as snarkable as Raquel, having a weird amount in common with her... I write free-verse poems sometimes, for example.
Then I just go read her short stories, and I feel better

It's not the free verse poetry that hurts.  It is the lack of rhythm and meter to it.  I can't feel any beat to hers.  That and not necessarily a rhyme is what makes poetry to me.  Hers just feel like jerky broken sentences and paragraphs thrown out there randomly.    

[Rowan]

Thank you for the ee cummings inspiration, @Georgiana

 

I Wish

that

I

could

 

         vote
   p
u

 

some of

these

posts poems

more 

than

1(nce)

[clueliss]

By the way - she was quoting One Direction lyrics in twitter yesterday.  I could tell that hey were quotes by use of the ' on either side, but had to, out of curiosity' do some googling to figure out who she was quoting.  I figured it was song lyrics based on the use of the word 'baby.' 

[xRoo]

This Mr. Right, Mr. Wrong blog is confusing as hell.

[Terrie]

For crying out loud, make up your mind, child.

Is it "he is always honest and verbal and makes it a point to tell you" or "Actions speak louder than words"?

"[T]here's no better place than in each other's presence" or "it's not necessary to be together 24/7"?

Number six reads like, "Oh, right, I'm supposed to be all about God, so, yeah, God."

[formergothardite]

There is literally no human who can live up to Raquel's expectations. It is impossible. 

[AmazonGrace]

 

Quote

Mr. Right inspires you.

I think quite a few poets have been more inspired by Mr. Wrong than Mr Right 

 

Quote

 And you never have to wonder if he loves you, thinks you're beautiful, or what he likes about you because he is always honest and verbal and makes it a point to tell you.

Oh for fuck's sake, Raquel. You are pretty, no need to be insecure about the looks and write blog post after blog post about waiting for a guy who will tell you so. FYI: lots of right bastards will tell you that you're beautiful if they think they get somewhere with that.

 

Yeah so I thought that my kids won't be raised by anyone who races cars in dangerous curves. It ain't godly, man...

[formergothardite]

So according to her instagram she is sitting in a coffee shop taking pictures of strangers. The strangers just happen to be men. I kind of doubt she would take pictures of strange women. She is probably hoping the guys will notice, think it is cute and ask her out. But most likely they think she is creepy and annoying. 

[AmazonGrace]

I am encouraged that she realizes that it's #creepmode

[Terrie]

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

 

Yeah so I thought that my kids won't be raised by anyone who races cars in dangerous curves. It ain't godly, man...

I guess in RaquelWorld, guys aren't involved in child-raising. 

[clueliss]

Good grief.  The body language of the closer guy clearly says he knows she's watching and doing stupid things like taking photos of strangers and wants to be let alone.