Bates Family Part 7

[formergothardite]

It was an early interview before they got more famous and I can't find it right off, but she said outright that she can't name them, but Gil could. Gil said he could name them as long as it was in their birth order. I suspect she could easily name the older ones because she was more involved in raising them, but the younger ones who were raised by buddies are probably the ones that give her trouble. 

[Georgiana]

Sure there are ways to defend Kelly for not being able to list off her kids' names, but before you go to defend her, consider this:

Do you think Michaela would have any trouble listing everyone?  I highly doubt that she would even hesitate.  

In fact, I think it is likely that both Alyssa and Erin could list off everyone as well, though perhaps not as fluidly as Michaela.

Now what does that say about Kelly as a mother?

[formergothardite]

Would anyone be  defending Michelle if she was asked to name her children and she said that she couldn't? I really doubt it. 

Quote

When asked to name her children, Kelly said, "Oh, Daddy's good at that. His memory's better than mine." Gil Bates easily rattled off all 18 names.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/evangelical-bates-family-20-children/story?id=12648595

Sorry, I'm not giving her a pass for saying her memory isn't good enough to remember the names of her children all while she is also saying she is actively trying to have more kids. Maybe instead of trying for another kid she should be trying to memorize the names of the kids she has already given birth to. 

[quiversR4hunting]

29 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I could see not wanting to try it on TV just in case you had a brain fart and forgot one, to spare yourself the embarrassment, but did she actually just come out and say that she couldn't do it at all?

A brain fart  would be embarrassing but not as much as admitting you just can't do it. 

If someone gave me a few minutes, I think I could name everyone in my 6th grade class, most I had gone to school with for 6 years, far few years than Kelly has known her kids. (6th grade for me was a good 30 years ago!)

[justmy2cents]

9 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

A brain fart  would be embarrassing but not as much as admitting you just can't do it. 

If someone gave me a few minutes, I think I could name everyone in my 6th grade class, most I had gone to school with for 6 years, far few years than Kelly has known her kids. (6th grade for me was a good 30 years ago!)

Wow, you're good.  I don't remember all the names of my classmates but I did memorize the names of the 50 strangers I took a group trip with in a matter of days.  Surely a woman can remember 19 names of kids she gave birth to who she sees on a daily basis?

[Diana]

Wow, thats really bad... i definetely can name all the Bates kids just from watching the show, its dificult to believe that their own mother cant. Maybe she thought it was funny and said it as a joke??

Because if she really cant remember 19 names after years of listening them, she has to have some sort of learning dissability, that cant be normal. I mean even if she never take care of them, she lived in the same house. 

[Dandruff]

Not defending Kelly at all, but Michelle has the advantage of always knowing the first letter.

[anjulibai]

11 minutes ago, Diana said:

Wow, thats really bad... i definetely can name all the Bates kids just from watching the show, its dificult to believe that their own mother cant. Maybe she thought it was funny and said it as a joke??

Because if she really cant remember 19 names after years of listening them, she has to have some sort of learning dissability, that cant be normal. I mean even if she never take care of them, she lived in the same house. 

I have to agree, it's very odd. My mom is one of 9, there are 18 grandkids total and currently 17 great-grandkids. I can name everyone in the first generation by heart and if I take a minute I can name all the great-grandkids, too. And I don't see them more than a couple times a year - some I haven't even met yet! Yet Kelly can't name the kids she gave birth to and sees daily? 

[grandmadugger]

Like Gil in order to name a list I have to do it in some order so I get "I've got to go in birth order to make sure I get them all"  I can name all 20 first graders I've known for 95 days if I can go in sitting order.  I could probably name everyone in my 6th grade class in alphabetical order since that was locker order if I thought for a minute.

[tumblr]

I'm not defending her, but I also can't fault her on it. To me this is good evidence against mega families, most people couldn't remember 19 names let alone connect with those 19 names in a meaningful way everyday and truly learn about them. It's why many argue for smaller class sizes in schools. 

Though, part of me also feels like as a parent if you can't remember the kids names you probably didn't put a lot of thought into the actual name itself. 

[Catey]

I come from a big family. I can name every single one of my siblings, their partners and all my stupidly named nieces and nephews in rapid succession.

I do however sometimes call my kids my dogs name...

[elliha]

I am not that good with names but I doubt I would not be able to name all my kids even if I had 19. I have a sister and 3 brothers and 11 nieces and nephews and one niece and one nephew have children of their own (niece two, nephew one). I know all of them by name and all my in-laws too. I have about 30 cousins and I can name them all but I must be systematic and name them family by family in birth order. I have no idea about second cousins though, they might be numbering close to 100 as my father had about 15 cousins and mom had 35-40 of them and big families are common on both sides. I don't know many of my parents' cousins either.

 

[missegeno]

Wow, some of you are amazing! There is no way I could still name all the classmates from any of the classes I had in 6th grade (not sure if y'all meant everyone in, say, math class, or everyone in the grade). Sometimes I'll get a memory of someone from that long ago (I'm still in my 20s, but haven't seen anyone from there in a decade) and it'll take me a few days for the name to come to me. I never got the names of most people in my current classes, so there's no chance for them. :-)

I just know there are only 12 cranial nerves, and I always need a mnemonic to remember them.

[formergothardite]

5 hours ago, tumblr said:

I'm not defending her, but I also can't fault her on it. To me this is good evidence against mega families, most people couldn't remember 19 names let alone connect with those 19 names in a meaningful way everyday and truly learn about them. It's why many argue for smaller class sizes in schools. 

Though, part of me also feels like as a parent if you can't remember the kids names you probably didn't put a lot of thought into the actual name itself. 

I would be surprised if by the end of the year a teacher couldn't name the 19 students in their class. Most of the teachers I know could easily name their students and probably even tell you something about them, a couple months into the school year. No one was asking Kelly to say meaningful things about her children, just remember their names, and yes, I will fault her for not remembering the names of her children. I come from a large family and know lots of large families. It really isn't normal for the mother to not remember the names of her children. 

I don't think she has a learning disability, I think that at some point it stopped being about the individual children and started being about numbers. It is kind of like how Jill Rod. could tell you the number of grandchildren, but not their names, while Amy could name them all. Jill saw the kids as numbers, Amy saw them as people. Kelly could rattle off how many children she had and that she was hoping for ten boys and ten girls, but she can't tell you their names, probably because it had turned into a numbers game. 

[Paperplate]

I'm not convinced she can't do it. She didn't say she couldn't do it. She just said Gil was better at it. I mean I would imagine she gets this question all the time when they meet new people. She must have a lot of practice naming all those children. Maybe she usually points them out as she introduces them and was afraid for forget someone or she wanted to show that Gil knows them too or she just said something stupid. In any case I'm convinced she knows all her childrens' names.

She's still not a good mother though.

[JillyO]

21 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I don't think she has a learning disability, I think that at some point it stopped being about the individual children and started being about numbers. It is kind of like how Jill Rod. could tell you the number of grandchildren, but not their names, while Amy could name them all. Jill saw the kids as numbers, Amy saw them as people. Kelly could rattle off how many children she had and that she was hoping for ten boys and ten girls, but she can't tell you their names, probably because it had turned into a numbers game. 

But, like... She LIVES with them. I think there's a big difference between that and JillRod not being able to name all the grandchildren. I think it's easy to not know/remember all your nieces' and nephews' names if you have a bunch and don't really care about them. But even if you're really checked out as a mom, how could you possibly share your house with your 19 children and not know all their names?  You'd have to actively try to not know them. That doesn't seem plausible to me at all.

I'll agree with whoever said that Kelly was probably just afraid of the backlash she'd get if she forgot to name someone, be it from the audience or from the child themselves. Obviously she's not a good mom (frankly, anyone who willingly gets involved in Gothardism is a terrible person in my book, and Kelly has the "bonus" of also sending her daughters on trips with the piece of shit), but to me, the fact that she wanted Gil to name the kids really isn't that big of a deal. YMMV.

[formergothardite]

I think if you put them in front of her she can name them all, but that she was being honest, Gil is better at remembering their names when the kids aren't right in front of them.  She does live with them, but she also didn't really raise the younger ones. She assigned them buddies while they were in the womb, the buddy had to take care of the baby the second it was born and when Kelly was caring for them she used harsh baby training that practically encourages mothers to become detached from their babies. She didn't even do things like potty train them or cook meals for them.  So I wouldn't really be surprised if she struggled to remember names when she didn't have a face to put with them because  while she lived in the same house, she didn't parent a lot of the kids and probably didn't spend a huge amount of time with them. The younger ones were probably just there in the background being cared for by an older sibling while Kelly focused on having the next baby. 

[quiversR4hunting]

3 hours ago, missegeno said:

Wow, some of you are amazing! There is no way I could still name all the classmates from any of the classes I had in 6th grade (not sure if y'all meant everyone in, say, math class, or everyone in the grade). Sometimes I'll get a memory of someone from that long ago (I'm still in my 20s, but haven't seen anyone from there in a decade) and it'll take me a few days for the name to come to me. I never got the names of most people in my current classes, so there's no chance for them. :-)

I just know there are only 12 cranial nerves, and I always need a mnemonic to remember them.

I went to a small Catholic elementary and my entire class and grade was one in the same about 22- depending on the year. When we went to public middle school, then I couldn't name them all we had upwards of 160 kids in my 7th and 8th grade classes and then it decreased to 118 by the time we graduated. I can most likely name everyone in 6th grade because we all were together for 6 year years +/- a couple of them that moved either into or out of our little school by the time we "graduated" 6th grade.

[QuiverDance]

17 hours ago, VaSportsMom said:

I call my kids by different names all the time and I only have 3. I guess I am not normal?

 

I only have 2 but somehow I always manage to work my brothers' names in when yelling at my kids.

I have been known to call both my son and daughter by the dog's name.  #kellyjodumb

[nolongerIFBx]

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On Monday, January 25, 2016 at 10:35 AM, Georgiana said:

On Tuesday, January 26, 2016 at 6:12 PM, pnwgypsy said:

On the helmet sidetrack, I wore a helmet to barrel race & for all riding. Still do but I don't get to ride often. It's very uncommon with western riders. Running through the snow like that is kinda reckless.

That's true, but I have never seen a Western style rider wear a helmet, with the exception of nervous first time riders and very, very small children (like 3-4).  I don't think this is a particular safety oversight on their part; if you spend time at most barns you'll see it just isn't common with Western riders.  At 5 I didn't wear a helmet to ride even out on the trail, and while I've fallen off horses (and had friends fall as well) head injuries are not high risk unless you are doing certain activities like jumping or breaking.  

I would be shocked if someone like Trace (or any Bates) who has been riding since he could walk DID wear a helmet.   

Not even all bull riders wear a helmet (and they're all but guaranteed to get bucked off!).

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I think if you put them in front of her she can name them all, but that she was being honest, Gil is better at remembering their names when the kids aren't right in front of them.  She does live with them, but she also didn't really raise the younger ones. She assigned them buddies while they were in the womb, the buddy had to take care of the baby the second it was born and when Kelly was caring for them she used harsh baby training that practically encourages mothers to become detached from their babies. She didn't even do things like potty train them or cook meals for them.  So I wouldn't really be surprised if she struggled to remember names when she didn't have a face to put with them because  while she lived in the same house, she didn't parent a lot of the kids and probably didn't spend a huge amount of time with them. The younger ones were probably just there in the background being cared for by an older sibling while Kelly focused on having the next baby. 

I'm not doubting you....I see this a lot about the baby stuff and doing nothing....where did this info originate? An old show, an interview somewhere? I'm curious to read it for myself. 

 

Count me me in as one of the people who doesn't think the name thing is a big deal. I was feeling pretty huffy about until the actual quote was put up. In the context, I don't think it at all means that she can't name them. 

[QuiverDance]

Good gravy, y'all.  There is no way in H E double hockey sticks that Kelly doesn't know all her kids' names.   

[HermioneSparrow]

I'm a teacher and I can name all of the students I've had since 2012, but you know they're the most loving normal fundie family evurrr!! Smh

[formergothardite]

49 minutes ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

I'm not doubting you....I see this a lot about the baby stuff and doing nothing....where did this info originate? An old show, an interview somewhere? I'm curious to read it for myself. 

 

Count me me in as one of the people who doesn't think the name thing is a big deal. I was feeling pretty huffy about until the actual quote was put up. In the context, I don't think it at all means that she can't name them. 

 Most of it was on their original blog which they have made hard to find and discussed on the original Yuku FJ. The original face the Bates showed to the world showed one very fucked up family, not this happy, shiny UP version. On their current blog Kelly still recommends the harsh Ezzo training that is so awful that everyone from Focus on the Family to pediatricians say avoid it because it can kill your baby. 

I'm surprised so many people think it isn't a big deal that Kelly declined to attempt to name her children and instead had Gil do it. I think taking it with everything else it shows how not normal this family, which is why I brought it up. This family doesn't have a normal family dynamic. No matter how the show makes them look, this is not a normal family with normal parents. T

 

[quiversR4hunting]

6 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

 Most of it was on their original blog which they have made hard to find and discussed on the original Yuku FJ. The original face the Bates showed to the world showed one very fucked up family, not this happy, shiny UP version. On their current blog Kelly still recommends the harsh Ezzo training that is so awful that everyone from Focus on the Family to pediatricians say avoid it because it can kill your baby. 

I'm surprised so many people think it isn't a big deal that Kelly declined to attempt to name her children and instead had Gil do it. I think taking it with everything else it shows how not normal this family, which is why I brought it up. This family doesn't have a normal family dynamic. No matter how the show makes them look, this is not a normal family with normal parents. T

 

I'm surprised too. I think it is appalling. If she was nervous she could have said, I feel nervous and I need to do it in order. I would understand that. Then again it was on their tv show so it couldn't be that big of a surprise that it would be a question.

1 hour ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

I'm not doubting you....I see this a lot about the baby stuff and doing nothing....where did this info originate? An old show, an interview somewhere? I'm curious to read it for myself. 

It was on an early ("united bates of America" maybe) episode and IIRC it was during the little couch interview time. I just tried to search for the video and I couldn't find it. Now YouTube is full of "name that bates" games that the family plays on the couch.