Erika Shupe *fake smile* Large Families on Purpose Part 2

[apandaaries]

I love that she calls it navigating because what she means is "avoiding and completely ignoring difficult relationships."

The main issues appear to be the children were allowed to eat at non-scheduled times and watch some TV. Typical grandparent stuff, worth putting up with. 

Also, it sounds like she doesn't respect THEIR wishes to stop sending them crap that probably is painful for them to see:
 
"When we publish a Christmas letter/family photo we send them a copy. Their response has always been nothing with an occasional "please dont do that anymore"."
 

They might not have strictly adhered to her napping schedule, either.  With influences like that, who knows how little time it would have taken before the girls were running wild in the streets?

 

Without going into details that would tend to defame anyone, I want to share with you our personal story, and about what we learned from our experience.   

Love that she's able to give us so much detail without any defamation whatsoever...just that those who call themselves Christians aren't nearly as Christian as she and Bob are. 

Also impressed with/intrigued by this: 

 

 

A small side note for those who come from broken families. You have undoubtedly heard that these patterns have a very persistent way of repeating themselves. Bob's grandfather was married several times in his life and had little or no relationship with Bob's dad as an adult. Bob's dad has been married several times as well and now has little or no relationship with his son, Bob. This weighs extremely heavy on my Bob's heart as so far we have no way of knowing if this pattern will be broken in our generation or not. The enemy has his claws in and it is not always within God's will to change these generational patterns just because we want them to be. The depth of generational curses and bondage is such a huge and terrifying subject Christians barely spend time thinking about it much less talking or studying it. We pray constantly that God will break this generational pattern in our lives. We pray that God will break the generational pattern of divorce, broken relationships and sadness.     

"No way of knowing if this pattern with be broken in our generation or not," yet there is no relationship with his parents.  Certainly makes sense to me!

 

 We have forgiven his parents, we love them, we speak respectfully about them to others - but we do not allow them to harm us or our children.  Bob's parents to have no relationship with us at all is their own choice (even though they say that it is ours and not theirs).

There is so much more to this story than we are getting..

(bolding and italics mine)

[ViolaSebastian]

I'm watching it get heated in the comments section for her hot chocolate recommendation that has Splenda.

Large Families On Purpose The best you can do is feeding your family toxins? Is hot chocolate that important? I don't get it. You can warm up with other hot drinks such as tea and not be ingesting rat poison.

I'm waiting for ole' Zsu to show up and talk about how it causes miscarriages. 

ETA: Check out this bit of crazy from the dressing modestly article:

My husband likes that I wear form fitting things, but we have a house full of little boys, and prefers that I save those types of clothing for in the bedroom even when I exercise I do it behind closed doors so as not to hinder my own children's thoughts

I...so the little boys are lusting after the mother when she exercises?  So much WTF here... 

[jerkit]

My eyes are huge right now. WHAT?! Preventing your own kid from lusting after you? Ick ick ick.

[HeadshipRegent]

Whaaaat? Does she think her kids are Norma Bates and she needs to prevent them from "lusting after you"?

[ViolaSebastian]

I respectfully disagree. There are some good books out there that help explain male thinking for the majority of males. "every man's battle" and "For Women Only" come to mind. My husband likes that I wear form fitting things, but we have a house full of little boys, and prefers that I save those types of clothing for in the bedroom even when I exercise I do it behind closed doors so as not to hinder my own children's thoughts. The bible teaches that we should "not cause your brother to stumble" which to me means that I should not wear or act in a way that would cause any other person to be tempted to sin. Its easy to say that "well, thats really just their problem" (not quoting you, but a lot of people I hear), but really Christ is all about serving others and if we truly wish to be like Him then we will be willing to put away our own selfish desires and serve others with a joyful heart knowing that it is for the cause of Christ. I often find myself desiring to dress like my peers because it would be more comfortable or i would fit in more (sadly even at church), but I keep on guard with those thoughts and remember there are people struggling. There are things we can wear that won't cause men with a lust problem to lust. I don't think we should go so far as dress in a parka or anything, but just things that aren't form fitting and aren't showing a lot of skin. I'm not trying to harp on you here, but just thought that maybe you haven't this side of things before. smile emoticon

Here's the quote in its entirety...which in absolutely no way shape or form make it any less WTF.  So I guess that rules out swimming with them, too....  Seriously, lady, if your sons are thinking about you sexually (hell, if you're even worried about your sons thinking about you sexually...), you have far, far greater problems than women you don't know wearing yoga pants. 

ETA:

Someone calls her out on it (because, seriously, WTF lady?!) and she replies:

 I think you underestimate how men of any age think. underdeveloped minds don't differenciate between their moms body and a woman's body. its a mechanical thing, not a perverted thing. I really encourage you to read up on that. I'm doing what I know is best for my children, and its not to be read further into it.

[defraudingjezebel]

@ViolaSebastian Oh YES Thanks for pointing out the hot cocoa drama. That is my favorite kind of fundie drama- where they're arguing about stupid things and being super bitchy to one another over it. I don't want to take up for Erika but calling artificial sweetener "rat poison" is hilaaaaarious. I find anyone daring to slam Erika quite hilarious. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, too. 

Also, she keeps spelling "cocoa" as "Coco." I don't think she realizes that coco is a popular slang term for cocaine. So much for that voice dictation. 

[HeadshipRegent]

What the fuck is this discussion... I can't wrap my mind on someone saying they're preventing their sons from lusting after them. 

[apandaaries]

Wow!  Erika puts all her crazy right out there for us, and her readers and leghumpers do the same!  WTF have I been reading?!? Not exercising around her sons to prevent them getting aroused by her workout clothes/body/whatever mechanical impulse she's blaming?  That whole post was pretty gross, including the linked article, but I'm glad to see that particular poster getting some pushback.  Wars and condemnation over artificial sweeteners?  There is some sickly beautiful fundie weirdness happening over there.  I shouldn't be so amused, but I am.  

[mango_fandango]

@ViolaSebastian I agree with that last point made by that commenter. Kids aren't aware of the difference between girls and boys till they're about preschool age, give or take. One of my first best friends (when I was preschool age) was a boy, and indeed when I was little I often had boys as friends. It's only once you're a little older that you gravitate more towards having friends of the same sex. Obviously some people have friends of both sexes throughout childhood, but people mainly make friends with those of the same sex. Little boys are not going to notice what their mother is wearing, let alone lust after them. Fundies are such wackos. They are so far removed from reality. Heaven knows what attracts people to it. 

Also... that woman says "dress in a parka". Lady, a parka is a kind of jacket. I think you mean burka. Know the difference.

I saw somewhere else that Erika talked about trying out cocoa powder to make hot chocolate before discovering the syrup, and not liking cocoa powder. Erika, honey, cocoa powder is not designed to be drunk. It's designed to be used in cakes and cookies and so on. There's a difference between cocoa powder and drinking chocolate, why do you think they specify this on packaging?? 

As part of this whole sugar/stevia shebang: I know that America/Britain/etc have a major problem with sugar consumption, but sugar is a natural compound. Sure it may be refined and so on, but ultimately it's just hydrogen, carbon and oxygen. (yes, one of the tabs I have up is the sugar wikipedia page). Isn't Erika all about the natural foods? Weird how she bangs on about her green smoothies and so on, but doesn't allow sugar. Then again, she does have that whole post about sugar addiction. So, ultimately, I dunno. 

ETA: Anyone else see "hot chocolate, fat-free, sugar free" in the same sentence and immediately think that it doesn't sound very nice? 

She's also reblogged her grocery shopping plan post, which includes the details about their green smoothie breakfasts and cobb salad lunches. Urgh.

[elliha]

What do you mean by "cocoa powder is not meant to be drunk"? Yes, drinking the actual powder would be horrible but I use that all the time to make hot chocolate (with some sugar/other sweetner added). 

[mango_fandango]

Sorry for double post, but just spotted this: 

Erika's posted a photo of Karen with a tray of granola. Someone comments that her teens have a hard time getting up. Erika comments "maybe you should get your teens to go to bed earlier". The other woman responds "between all her ballet classes and youth group it's hard for her to get to bed early." KER-CLANG!! KERCLANG! KERCLANG! Erika's going to come down on that like a ton of bricks. That's the problem, see? Your kid goes to extracurricular clubs! She's outside the home! Mixing with those who aren't religious! Don't you know how dangerous that is, other woman? If you eliminate all outside influence your girl can go to bed earlier and will not be tempted by ungodly influences. *end of sarcasm*

Elliha: Sorry. Maybe I got that wrong. I don't tend to use cocoa powder for hot chocolate. 

[ViolaSebastian]

@ViolaSebastian I agree with that last point made by that commenter. Kids aren't aware of the difference between girls and boys till they're about preschool age, give or take. One of my first best friends (when I was preschool age) was a boy, and indeed when I was little I often had boys as friends. It's only once you're a little older that you gravitate more towards having friends of the same sex. Obviously some people have friends of both sexes throughout childhood, but people mainly make friends with those of the same sex. Little boys are not going to notice what their mother is wearing, let alone lust after them. Fundies are such wackos. They are so far removed from reality. Heaven knows what attracts people to it. 

@mango_fandango, I took the second comment to mean that her sons can't differentiate between "that's a woman's body" and "that's my mother, who is also a woman's, body."  In other words, that they're not going to think 'it'd be gross to lust after my mother's breasts' and more "oh hey, breasts!"  Clearly girlfriend hasn't heard of the Westermarck effect...

[Eternalbluepearl]

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/02/10/new-study-of-splenda-reveals-shocking-information-about-potential-harmful-effects.aspx

Artificial sweeteners are bad for you. It upsets me that she would give that to her kids and recommend it to others for them to do the same. If she's anti-cocoa powder then just don't drink hot chocolate. It's not a critical part of one's diet. So I called her out on it y'know just in case she's never heard of something called nutrition.  I'm definitely not a fundie or a leg humper. I just get passionate about stopping their shitty diets that they are passing on to their eleventy kids. Stop the cluelessness I say. 

[defraudingjezebel]

Well, folks, Erika has deleted the "coco" drama thread. I guess she couldn't handle being reprimanded. Whether I agree with the person jumping all over her or not is irrelevant. This all just goes to show that Erika can't engage in a reasoned discussion with someone who goes against her. Her go-to response is "that's not my opinion, it's God's" and if it is something outside of the realm of religion, she goes for the nuclear option. What a pity. I was just getting ready to see how the fight would pan out. 

[JillyO]

I know it's not just a fundie thing, but Erika is definitely guilty of this in a major way: I'm always amazed at the kind of crap people consume who profess to eat healthy. Sugar-free Hershey's chocoloate syrup? Fat-free Reddi Whip? Fat-free half-and-half? And all that other sugar-free, fat-free, zero-calorie crap that she uses in her "recipes." Boggles the mind. That is pretty much the opposite of "natural" and "healthy," Erika.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I know it's not just a fundie thing, but Erika is definitely guilty of this in a major way: I'm always amazed at the kind of crap people consume who profess to eat healthy. Sugar-free Hershey's chocoloate syrup? Fat-free Reddi Whip? Fat-free half-and-half? And all that other sugar-free, fat-free, zero-calorie crap that she uses in her "recipes." Boggles the mind. That is pretty much the opposite of "natural" and "healthy," Erika.

Yes. And then these other "mamas of many" look up to her and copy her. 

[mango_fandango]

Well, folks, Erika has deleted the "coco" drama thread. I guess she couldn't handle being reprimanded. Whether I agree with the person jumping all over her or not is irrelevant. This all just goes to show that Erika can't engage in a reasoned discussion with someone who goes against her. Her go-to response is "that's not my opinion, it's God's" and if it is something outside of the realm of religion, she goes for the nuclear option. What a pity. I was just getting ready to see how the fight would pan out. 

Again with the deleting of threads!

It also seems a bit rude of her to respond to someone recommending cocoa powder by saying "can't stand coco(a)". Would it be so hard for her to just say "Sorry, I've tried cocoa powder but I really dislike the taste, but whatever works for you!" or something along those lines? Didn't she say she welcomes polite disagreement? That's not polite to me, lady. Practice what you preach. 

JillyO: I so agree. It's like the whole "we make our own mac-and-cheese from scratch" debacle (originating from her coat closet into a food pantry post), which an FJer spotted, got annoyed about and spawned the user title "A Cheese Plagiarist and a Liar". The thing is, with fundies, they're all about the natural prganic goodness, but then they are also about the convenience. It can be quicker to make your own food from scratch, but with such large families I imagine it often is easier to simply use ready meals.

[iweartanktops]

Okay, WOW! 

1. The post about Bob's parents is all kinds of messed up! Most of you have already said it... It kills me how she just LOVES herself and she sees herself as so RIGHTEOUS! It's not her that is ever wrong, or ungodly, it's always the other person. Ugh. 

Also, as another poster said, it's hard to judge since we don't know the details, however, the fact that she wrote so much about it, tells me that Erika is likely not an innocent, here. 

2. What the hell is that woman talking about? My mom walked around in her bra, etc all the time around my brothers, and no one was turned on by it! I mean, I can't even believe I'm saying this! You know? Lady, you're not defrauding your sons! 

[ViolaSebastian]

In her post from today that discusses meal planning, we can see she's a fan of the Maxwell's bland burrito recipe.

 

 

[mango_fandango]

In her post from today that discusses meal planning, we can see she's a fan of the Maxwell's bland burrito recipe.

 

 

Have the Maxwells actually mentioned the recipe anywhere? 

ETA: nvm found it. Blog search. DUH.

[princessmahina]

Her cocoa recipe looks repugnant. Before she deleted it, I went through and liked all the comments telling Erika to stop making it.

[iweartanktops]

Have we discussed the yoga pants article and comments? So many dip shits! I'm still reading through the comments! 

Edited to add that now I realize we're talking about the same article... Here's another comment:

It doesnt matter what we want to define as modest. What does the Bible say?  Thats the question that should be answered. We shouldnt tell ourselves that we have a right to dress how WE want. After all we are bought with a price therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are Gods.(1 Cor 6:20) It's not our body our choice lol.  Its God's body. It's a body that belongs to our husband or future husband. God wants women to dress feminine. God wants us ladies to cover our nakedness. Wearing tight yoga pants exposes our nakedness regardless of how much skin is covered. It's also a violation of scripture for a woman to put on a garment that pertains to a man.  God wants men to look like men and women to look like women.

 

Actually, my body does belong to me. My fiancé understands this as well! 

[Eternalbluepearl]

Like there's really someone in the sky going...uh oh, eternalbluepearl wore pants today. I will call her into my office to discuss this after she dies. I specifically left in my very-confusing, written by many authors and translated way too many damn times rule book, that I like ladies in skirts. 

[iweartanktops]

Like there's really someone in the sky going...uh oh, eternalbluepearl wore pants today. I will call her into my office to discuss this after she dies. I specifically left in my very-confusing, written by many authors and translated way too many damn times rule book, that I like ladies in skirts. 

Exactly! I really wanted to comment, "God doesn't give a shit!" 

[mango_fandango]

They've done Operation Christmas Child. No weird purses like what the Maxwells did, just drawings. Erika posted a photo of what Melanie wrote. It's all about Jeebus as you'd guess.

Karen has Happy on her lap as per. They've stuck loads of packets of Skittles in each box, which I think is a legit gift. It's more than poor Karen and Melanie would ever earn babysitting.