Erika Shupe *fake smile* Large Families on Purpose Part 2

[elliha]

Here, structured school is sitting at a desk learning lessons or doing worksheets, not the art projects and singing and playing with colored shapes.  That stuff is still learning, but it's not regimented and teacher-led the same way staring at a chalkboard while a teacher shows you a strange new way to do simple math problems is.

Chalkboards are not used at all in preschool (which is from 1-5 years of age), it is free play and some more structured activities as I described above. Children in my daughters preschool are from from 1-5 in age so they cannot do exactly the same thing at the same time so having actual classes would not be possible even if they wanted to. Some preschools divide the children into groups depending on age but they are still either 1-3 and 3-5 (the three year olds can be in either group depending on how mature they are) or divided into three age groups in some preschools. 

Math problems and chalkboards are found from when they start the prep year but it will not start for real until they are 7 and start actual first grade. 

I am a bit torn about the extreme focus on free play in our preschools. I don't want more school, but I would like the teachers to do even more with active learning like working more with letters, words, numbers and so on but use play as a method as they regularily do. I mean, I have started my daughter on working with reading by using little cards with words and she is doing very well with it and why could they not do this for everyone? Why can't they let children play with things that teaches them more about science such as magnets? What about learning flags, maps, symbols and so on when they already learn names of animals and plants? There are preschools that do more of this but I would have liked it to be something everyone did. Don't get me wrong, the teachers usually do a very good job and are very good at teaching children "on the go" but with just a tiny bit of structure that would not feel restrictive to the children they could maximize this. Those that are not interested could just build legos as I see it. 

[HeadshipRegent]

Erika is like an irl fundie version of Monica Geller.

[princessmahina]

The woman Erika criticized for doing too much school responded. Her children apparently have learning disabilities. Crickets from Erika, of course. I wouldn't expect helpful advice (not from her anyway), but from someone who preaches about what a good Christian she is all the time, I would have thought she'd have said "prayers!" or "*hugs*!" 

[SoGladIWasCofE]

She'd probably make them double up i.e. one twin on Karen one on Melanie. 

ETA: anyone else notice Karen's face? Kind of a "hmm" sort of face IYSWIM. I could be reading too much into this, but...

where's the photo? Can't see it on Facebook.

Edit: oops, I was looking at Erika's personal not lfop.

Totally agree, Karen looks sarcastic IMO.What was that recent post about rebellious children? Run Karen run!

[mango_fandango]

Erika is like an irl fundie version of Monica Geller.

I'd have to agree. At least Monica cooks her own food, and they are complete opposites fertility-wise. Monica is a lot warmer, too. But in the neatness compartment.... oh boy. Wonder how many categories of towel Erika has?? 

[elliha]

Wow! Read the comments to the picture of the children watching Wall-E. Erika admits to letting her 4 oldest children stay up with her and Bob to watch a movie. What will that do to their hearts and faith? 

[JillyO]

Wow! Read the comments to the picture of the children watching Wall-E. Erika admits to letting her 4 oldest children stay up with her and Bob to watch a movie. What will that do to their hearts and faith? 

I saw that too, and am utterly confused. I thought that the teenagers/older kids weren't allowed to stay up longer than the twins because evenings are Erika-and-Bob time. Whatever happened to that?!

[mango_fandango]

OOOH. Erika's posted some passive aggressive meme on the FB page saying "You say you don't have time to read the Bible. Your Netflix browsing history shows that's a lie." 

I'm confused about the staying up thing too. They do have pancakes on a Saturday, though, and they don't homeschool on Saturdays. Maybe that's an explanation. 

[defraudingjezebel]

OOOH. Erika's posted some passive aggressive meme on the FB page saying "You say you don't have time to read the Bible. Your Netflix browsing history shows that's a lie." 

I'm confused about the staying up thing too. They do have pancakes on a Saturday, though, and they don't homeschool on Saturdays. Maybe that's an explanation. 

This is brilliant and so typical of judgmental Erika. If I were in a snippy mood, I'd write a comment underneath saying, "You say you don't have time to write individual responses to people's pressing concerns. Your history of posting multiple vacuous articles a day shows that's a lie."* 

*especially if you supposedly use voice dictation. 

[Guest]

Maybe Bob can't take that much Erika-and-Bob time?  "Honey, I've been thinking.  Wouldn't it be nice for the older kids to stay up later?  It would, uhh, teach them self-discipline or whatever when you wake them up at 6 am the next morning and force them to clean the house and be grateful and happy about it."

[mango_fandango]

Bob does not look very involved in that Wall-E photo. He's looking at some piece of paper whilst the kids are all watching. 

I think that their family set up allows Erika to be closer to the kids than Bob is. I bet Bob is a great dad, but he's working all day whilst the kids are at home with Erika. In other photos he does look fairly involved, but for that photo to be really sweet Bob would be hugging one of his kids rather than ignoring them and working. I don't think he works on Saturdays- as part of the scheduling series, there's a post about what they do at weekends. It mentions that he doesn't work, so their Saturdays aren't so tightly structured, although he did have to work on Saturdays in the past so they did have a proper schedule then.

[defraudingjezebel]

Maybe Bob can't take that much Erika-and-Bob time?  "Honey, I've been thinking.  Wouldn't it be nice for the older kids to stay up later?  It would, uhh, teach them self-discipline or whatever when you wake them up at 6 am the next morning and force them to clean the house and be grateful and happy about it."

Well... I really don't want to drag someone's marriage but yeah, seems like a possibility. Melanie wrote a Father's Day card to him this year (maybe last year?) talking about all of the things she's thankful for w/ regard to him and one of the things was, "I'm thankful that you and Mom resolve all of your arguments and you don't leave the family." For some reason that really struck me deep down. To mention that means it must be commonplace and happening in front of the kids. I felt deeply sad after reading that. My parents got divorced but remained close friends and literally never, ever fought or argued in front of me. I can't imagine how it would feel to constantly see your parents argue and feel worried that your other parent will abandon you because of that. Knowing the context, I can't help but feel for those kids (and even Erika) because it is a painful and difficult situation whether someone is fundie or not. 

[kpmom]

I don't follow Erika much except to read some threads here.  But, I know you all have written that she's a big Maxwell follower, although not so big a follower that she doesn't allow videos I guess.

Apparently the Maxwells are too strict even for their ardent followers.

 

[HeadshipRegent]

I don't follow Erika much except to read some threads here.  But, I know you all have written that she's a big Maxwell follower, although not so big a follower that she doesn't allow videos I guess.

Apparently the Maxwells are too strict even for their ardent followers.

 

I think she lets her children read fiction like The Hobbit, as well.

[apandaaries]

I think she lets her children read fiction like The Hobbit, as well.

But she limits their fiction reading time, too, and posted on FB about the importance of having a homeschooling mom BFF.  She's a little looser than the Maxwells, but not much. I also hesitate to give Bob too much credit.  He often does seem more involved with the kids in the pics she posts, but his FB doesn't paint a very positive picture of him.  He's also allowed her to interfere with his relationship with his parents and his children's relationship with his parents, which is really, truly terrible.  Unless those grandparents are a true danger to the children, it seems excessively cruel to cut them out.  Those kids have a right to know them, and those grandparents have a right to know those kids (again, unless they were to pose some kind of threat, for which I've seen no evidence thus far).  

So interesting how the Bible commands that one honor one's mother and father, but with Erika's permission, Bob need not obey that.  Good thing she's got that direct line to all God's thoughts.  Imagine the trouble they'd be in otherwise.  

[HeadshipRegent]

But she limits their fiction reading time, too, and posted on FB about the importance of having a homeschooling mom BFF.  She's a little looser than the Maxwells, but not much. I also hesitate to give Bob too much credit.  He often does seem more involved with the kids in the pics she posts, but his FB doesn't paint a very positive picture of him.  He's also allowed her to interfere with his relationship with his parents and his children's relationship with his parents, which is really, truly terrible.  Unless those grandparents are a true danger to the children, it seems excessively cruel to cut them out.  Those kids have a right to know them, and those grandparents have a right to know those kids (again, unless they were to pose some kind of threat, for which I've seen no evidence thus far).  

So interesting how the Bible commands that one honor one's mother and father, but with Erika's permission, Bob need not obey that.  Good thing she's got that direct line to all God's thoughts.  Imagine the trouble they'd be in otherwise.  

I totally forgot about that. They can only read on the weekends, right? And what do you mean by cutting out contact with Bob's parents?   I didn't know that, wtf. 

[apandaaries]

I totally forgot about that. They can only read on the weekends, right? And what do you mean by cutting out contact with Bob's parents?   I didn't know that, wtf. 

It's a funky timeline and an Erikarized story, so you'll have to read between some lines, but they are clearly cut off: http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2013/03/navigating-difficult-relationships.html

[HeadshipRegent]

It's a funky timeline and an Erikarized story, so you'll have to read between some lines, but they are clearly cut off: http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2013/03/navigating-difficult-relationships.html

Thanks for the link! I'm reading it and love it how Erika is calling other people controlling and manipulative. Takes one to know one, I guess. 

[defraudingjezebel]

But she limits their fiction reading time, too, and posted on FB about the importance of having a homeschooling mom BFF.  She's a little looser than the Maxwells, but not much. I also hesitate to give Bob too much credit.  He often does seem more involved with the kids in the pics she posts, but his FB doesn't paint a very positive picture of him.  He's also allowed her to interfere with his relationship with his parents and his children's relationship with his parents, which is really, truly terrible.  Unless those grandparents are a true danger to the children, it seems excessively cruel to cut them out.  Those kids have a right to know them, and those grandparents have a right to know those kids (again, unless they were to pose some kind of threat, for which I've seen no evidence thus far).  

So interesting how the Bible commands that one honor one's mother and father, but with Erika's permission, Bob need not obey that.  Good thing she's got that direct line to all God's thoughts.  Imagine the trouble they'd be in otherwise.  

You know that if one of the kids tried to limit their relationship with Erika, she'd have a screaming fit and probably post a lot of passive-aggressive stuff on facebook about honoring one's mother and father. Again, in Erika's world God's rules conform exactly with her own desires. 

[HeadshipRegent]

They really believed that they knew better than us in every area of life, and they would patronizingly tell us that we would arrive where they were when we were older 

 

Because you never do that, Erika... Never... Not at all.

[iweartanktops]

Well... I really don't want to drag someone's marriage but yeah, seems like a possibility. Melanie wrote a Father's Day card to him this year (maybe last year?) talking about all of the things she's thankful for w/ regard to him and one of the things was, "I'm thankful that you and Mom resolve all of your arguments and you don't leave the family." For some reason that really struck me deep down. To mention that means it must be commonplace and happening in front of the kids. I felt deeply sad after reading that. My parents got divorced but remained close friends and literally never, ever fought or argued in front of me. I can't imagine how it would feel to constantly see your parents argue and feel worried that your other parent will abandon you because of that. Knowing the context, I can't help but feel for those kids (and even Erika) because it is a painful and difficult situation whether someone is fundie or not. 

Wow. This is profoundly troubling and sad. This is the first I've heard of the card. Thanks for sharing. They must have some pretty bad fights for her to write this. 

[princessmahina]

This is brilliant and so typical of judgmental Erika. If I were in a snippy mood, I'd write a comment underneath saying, "You say you don't have time to write individual responses to people's pressing concerns. Your history of posting multiple vacuous articles a day shows that's a lie."* 

*especially if you supposedly use voice dictation. 

Please, please do.

 

She reposted her meal planning post this morning. I forgot she lets the kids request meals. I wonder how often she takes them into account?

[jerkit]

Holy. Crap.

Listen, we don't speak to my brother in law because he said some really hurtful things to me and shows no remorse for it and has never apologized. But I would NEVER!!!! think to tell that whole story on my blog.

[elliha]

While I suspect that Erika's control issues are the reason they are not in contact with Bob's parents I am not judging her for this unless I really have the full story. I do not have an easy relationship with my own mother in law and it is not necessarily just one person's fault. I am going to assume it is down to a clash between both parties and not just her fault actually. 

[Antimony]

I love that she calls it navigating because what she means is "avoiding and completely ignoring difficult relationships."

The main issues appear to be the children were allowed to eat at non-scheduled times and watch some TV. Typical grandparent stuff, worth putting up with. 

Also, it sounds like she doesn't respect THEIR wishes to stop sending them crap that probably is painful for them to see:
 
"When we publish a Christmas letter/family photo we send them a copy. Their response has always been nothing with an occasional "please dont do that anymore"."