Magnolia Pearl: What in the World?

[spectralScavenger]

The home was featured in Country Living 10 years ago - it looked less grimey then. I'm guessing Robin is a woman that just can't help herself and just kept adding shit until she literally could not fit in more shit and thus had to sell

magnoliapearl.com/slideshowcl3html/slideshow/countrylivingss.html

Wow, first off: That typeface looks like it belongs on the back cover of a Silent Hill game.

Secondly: I guess it's sort of cute and liveable? If it weren't for the overabundance of lace and itchy fabric and the fact that the fridge sticks out like a sore thumb in every single shot it's in. I mean the fridge itself is cute, but it's too new for the uh, """"aesthetic"""" she's going for

Hmmm, ok I change my mind on the hipster crack.

These outfits look like the "designer" goes out at 2 am every weekend, and digs up 200 year old graves and robs the corpses of their clothing, then sells it to idiots.

It's very "The Hills Have Eyes" chic.

[PennySycamore]

That house looks like it needs a rehab from Nicole Curtis of Rehab Addict. The clothes look like they just need a lit match.

[GodsKnickers]

That house looks like it needs a rehab from Nicole Curtis of Rehab Addict.

Then it can look like only slightly less of a bad acid trip! :dance:

[Peas n carrots]

Then it can look like only slightly less of a bad acid trip! :dance:

Opium Den Chic

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Oh yes I would love to see what the new owners have done to the house because it does have great possibility to be an eccentric, but pretty home. Some of the details I would keep, like the cabinet with the painted irises and the chandeliers, but much of the interior would have to be painted over. All of the textile would have to be torn down/off. The entry arch is charming, in fact most of the outdoors is fine, but I think I would want to do something with the kitchen area so that the modern appliances fit in better-- perhaps some interesting cabinetry.

There is absolutely nothing in her clothing line that tempts me.

[halcionne]

I need to know if the prized family heirloom vase that got permanently attached to the front gate, of all places, conveys.

[FundieFarmer]

I need to know if the prized family heirloom vase that got permanently attached to the front gate, of all places, conveys.

Legally speaking...yes.

What I want to know is...did she actually stick flowers in there after it was attached to the gate?? :think:

[AmazonGrace]

This might be my favorite item from the house.

Handy for all those times your spiritual form wants to sit in the corner.

[halcionne]

This might be my favorite item from the house.

Handy for all those times your spiritual form wants to sit in the corner.

So cozy and inviting.

[turquoise]

So cozy and inviting.

You can't sit down when you're wearing a tomato cage for a skirt, so it won't really matter anyway.

[salex]

You can't sit down when you're wearing a tomato cage for a skirt, so it won't really matter anyway.

That is the outfit I want to see in person, just walking along the River Walk in San Antonio, or at one of the restaurants in Bandera, Boerne or Fredericksburg. I'm in that area several times a year, and I don't even see women with their shirts buttoned up crooked so apparently I hand out in the wrong area.

But the tomato cage skirt is really what I want to see on the street....

'

[FormerlyFundyLite]

Any discussion of Magnolia Pearl must include this link about the artists' former residence/tetanus-trap, which could only have been sold to the vampire Lestat: fionaandtwig.blogspot.com/2013/03/magnolia-pearl-ranch-and-giveaway.html

What on earth did I just see?! They did all of that on purpose. They put in faux water damage on purpose. :cray-cray: Plus, the yellowed lace curtains hung haphazardly in the bathroom baffle me. I get that everybody has their own style, and I readily admit that shabby chic is not really my style, but that borders on just plain shabby. For only $695,000, we could've had a home that was made to look--on purpose, no less--like it's only moments away from disintegrating.

Gave me a headache. The Texas Hill Country is quite lovely, though. :D

[JesusPony]

This chicken coop.. :lol: :wtf:

[attachment=0]coop-210-1024x965.jpg[/attachment]

So THAT'S the "whimsical chicken coop". In the living room. I had assumed that it would be strictly decorative, but no. Live chickens. I'm sure those chickens appreciate the whimsy.

[ExCatholic]

I feel sorry for having read this...I need a long shower. I can smell the mildew. What is even happening?

[GinaM]

I completely agree. I think that's what the brand is going for, though, with the sheer pee-sheet camisoles backlit so that they're nearly transparent.

It sure ain't my cup of tea.

This was the first thing that comes to mind when discussing sexualized zombies

https://www.zombieburlesqueshow.com/ (Not breaking link because it's Not a blog)

[DaisyD]

I'm pretty sure my grandma had that nightgown. I didn't know it was worth so much. Some lucky suckered at goodwill got a great deal! :?

[AmazonGrace]

50 Shades of Fading Bruises, or The Face When the Toddler Zombies Gave You An  Easter Witch Makeover

Spoiler

That was the year I spent locked up in a padded cell, for my own safety :

Spoiler

 

[AmazonGrace]

All of us girls gathered around Melancholina and tried to make her look pretty on her wedding day.

"Do I look pale in this?" she asked anxiously.

Mama Cassie thought the headband was crooked. "Perhaps you should try on my bull shit stained cowboy hat in order to get the odor right."

[AmazonGrace]

The dusty beehive was a thing to behold but when Marieantoinette started playing the stringless violin to an invisible audience and telling everyone she was Mozart, Mama Cassie decided it was time  to let her out of the attic.

At Christmas time, Sophilippa refused to have a Christmas tree.

"Trees are living beings. You can decorate me instead."

Spoiler

That bitch with a birdcage in her hair was getting uppity but the navy and I showed her.

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The daylight was far too bright, and Nastaschia cried out desperately, "Illuminati, come take me now!"

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There was a distant sound of warhorns, as if the other tribe was approaching for attack. But Beluga looked steadily on, calm as a rat.

Spoiler

 

She knew the branch manager Seychelia knew martial arts and could handle the hordes single-handedly.

 

The Illuminati never abducted Nastaschia as she had hoped, but they left their marks on her face and she wore them proudly.

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When Yolanda showed up dressed in a Black Sabbath t-shirt and an untorn chequered blouse, everyone was appalled.

"Wow, you look so normal," said Nastaschia. "You have no objects in your hair."

"I think it's time to put you in heroin rehab," said Mama Cassie.

Spoiler

 

This picture was taken a moment before she killed the rest of them

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Edited April 17, 2017 by DaisyD
Add spoilers

[Four is Enough]

WTF did I just look at. They sell this stuff, right?

[AmazonGrace]

3 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

WTF did I just look at. They sell this stuff, right?

Miss Havisham Chic from their spring 2017 collection

http://www.magnoliapearl.com/

[MamaJunebug]

Oh, @AmazonGrace, I'm forever in your 

 debt! I haven't laughed so well in a couple of weeks!!!

56 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

WTF did I just look at. They sell this stuff, right?

Indeed, and in the past, Mother Pennington has been a devoted customer! She even wears them to church so the other ladies can gawk in envy! Riiight, "envy" is the reason for their gawking. 

Semi-related: I like Fixer Upoer TV show in spite of myself, but I hope Joanna Gaines knows that rusty oversized clock faces and white furniture that looks like it's been damaged in a move are all gateway items that could take Magnolia (Joanna's brand) into Magnolia Pearl territory before she knows it! 

[Four is Enough]

The huge clock faces and whitewashed/distressed everything are getting O-L-D-OLD in my opinion. Not as ugly as Magnolia Pearl, but definitely tired.. at least I am.

Edited April 17, 2017 by Four is Enough

[DaisyD]

Were they shooting for clown pirate in those first ones? If so, they nailed it.

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

How did I manage to ignore this thread until now?  Am I dead?  Did I crOSS to some sort of parallel universe?   If Mad Max and  Ralph Lauren had a baby with Zombie Cosette she would be thrilled with this catalogue.  I, however, am just astounded.  How does this even exist?

The prices are demented too. 

How do you charge  $400 for a suit jacket that looks like it might have been rescued from the Goodwill discard bin before being buried in a forest for several years?  

Who ARE the people who look at this picture and say to themselves, "OMG! That sun faded, bunny pocketed (WTF are bunny pockets? Bunnies don't have pockets.  (Wait, if there are actual bunnies in the pockets, I may be more interested in this thing. ..)) $250 APRON is super cute! Must Have!!" 

 

Also, @AmazonGrace, your post was pretty much how I imagine the Miss Peregrine books got started.  Fantastic!